episode_0105

I am not particularly perceptive.

I was even less so as a child, especially before I matured, because everyone around me was busy praising me.

That I was the best, and the world revolved around me.

I even thought the stars in the night sky shone only for me.

But now I know that’s not true.

My siblings’ efforts to praise me weren’t because I was truly amazing.

It was to more effectively push the only daughter of the legitimate queen out of the power struggle.

Because the higher a bird flies, the more spectacular its fall.

Thus, becoming their prey, perfectly removed from the power players’ view, I…

…was able to quietly build my strength without anyone’s interference.

Real strength, not power.

My magic and swordsmanship skills are both top-notch, so I am confident that I will no longer be threatened by humans.

What was I talking about…? Ah, yes, perceptiveness.

As a result, I have also cultivated the ability to discern the malice that permeates the world.

But that doesn’t mean I’m perceptive.

My thinking is still self-centered, and even though I love this world enough, ultimately I live for my own purposes.

I’m sorry to say this, but even my love for those in my arms is ultimately self-satisfying.

While I truly love them and want them to be truly happy.

Ultimately, I manipulate events to happen only within my control.

It means my feelings come before others’.

I cannot be Yuri, Lulu, or Nix.

And they cannot be me.

However, if my happiness is their happiness, and their happiness is my happiness…

…then the reason I pursue my happiness is for myself.

And the reason I pursue their happiness is also for myself.

That might be why…

…Yuri’s boundless trust in me eventually turned into distrust.

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It started with a slight sense of unease.

The resolve I made after my first failure, to not lose the people around me.

Never to take my eyes off them.

To fully capture the expressions, gestures, and even the slightest tremors of those I love.

To read their hearts, which I couldn’t fully see, a little more.

That was the best effort I, the unperceptive one, could make.

The first sense of unease came early in the morning.

Despite having virtually no morning sleepiness, Yuri was always there when I opened my eyes.

It was a selfish desire I hadn’t voiced, and also her favorite way of showing affection.

To be together when I closed my eyes and when I opened them.

I remember it clearly.

That it was the first request she made of me on the day she almost left me.

How could I forget?

It was the day I first learned to love this world, and the day I found my first companion for life.

Such a strong memory, etched into both our souls.

Yet, today, she created a secret from me for the first time.

Leaving the mansion early in the morning, she didn’t come to find me for some reason. Even though it was a comfortable place, outside of our maid-princess dynamic, Yuri shouldered her duties alone.

Even if she lied and said it was for me, it wouldn’t work on me.

Even though, I’d already extended into the room and ordered a lot of meat dishes in order to have her sleep with me longer.

She didn’t say she wanted to come with me.

Due to an inexplicable sense of unease, my own morning sleepiness vanished.

Even burying my face in the pillow with all my might, my eyes wouldn’t close again.

Until late lunchtime, I spent time reading with Nix.

I was worried about Yuri’s absence, making even my usually fun research time with Nix tedious.

A cart carrying supplies arrived at the mansion before her, and my unease intensified.

Her nonchalant return, and her unusually strong dissuasion of me going to the kitchen, today…

…my suspicions kept piling up.

Eventually, what was built up had to spill over.

At the dinner table, as the sun set, the unease in my heart revealed itself.

It was a lack of conversation, and even further, a lack of trust.

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“Delicious!—♡”

Nix’s eyes change every time she eats Yuri’s cooking.

That peculiar state has a short cooldown, even with the same food, her pupils are once again filled with hearts the next day.

Like when we have sex.

“You still enjoy it so much, even after eating it every day…”

“Yes! Every day feels new, thrilling! Delicious food is the best—yum-yum—”

“I told you not to talk with your mouth full… ugh.”

Seeing her eat with sauce all over her mouth, I sometimes can’t tell if she’s a 500-year-old dignified mana spirit, or just a neighborhood kid.

I irritably took out a handkerchief and aggressively wiped the corners of Nix’s mouth.

“Oww— ouch— it hurts—”

“That’s why I told you not to get it all over your face. Even a child wouldn’t do that!”

“Hmph-!”

She scowled, then stabbed a piece of chicken with her fork and shoved it into my lips.

Thwack-

“What is this—”

“You also have some! I’ll wipe it for you~”

Nix retaliated with childish pranks.

I quickly snatched a handkerchief to defend myself, but…

…it was a counterattack.

“Churp—”

She grabbed my cheek and, instead of a handkerchief, used her tongue.

She cleanly wiped the sauce off my lips.

“Heehee— delicious—♡”

“…Ugh.”

Since the last lip-grabbing incident, kissing Nix has become a little scary for me.

There’s nothing wrong with the act itself—

……

…but the monstrous Yuri who appears after it is so terrifying.

Moreover, this time, it wasn’t hidden. It was at the dinner table, right in front of her.

I hadn’t even turned my head, yet Yuri’s burning gaze already flickered before my eyes.

But for some reason, she remained silent.

“…Yuri?”

“What is it?”

“…Nothing.”

Nix was even more surprised than I was.

She probably braced herself for a complete takeover of the dining table, but…

…she seemed even more bewildered that nothing happened.

Even when Nix grabbed my arm, nestled it between her breasts, and rubbed against me…

…Yuri remained motionless.

This gave Nix even greater fear.

“Why are you so quiet? Is the food not good today…?”

“N-no… it’s delicious—!”

I was also scared for no reason.

Yuri’s act of picking up a piece of grilled eel with her hand and feeding it to me seemed oddly unsettling.

Thus… I barely finished dinner without knowing if the food was going down my mouth or nose.

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.

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Usually, after a meal this revealing of inner feelings, incredibly intense sex followed.

I’m not sure if the aphrodisiac effects were instantaneous, but I felt strangely energized…some placebo effect.

Then Yuri, and of course Nix, clung to me even more tightly.

“Sister…♡”

“Ugh—”

Since I was still holding a teacup at the table, Yuri’s sudden lunge and embrace was dangerous.

I could easily spill my tea and break my cup.

“What is it? Why are you like this…later, let’s go upstairs slowly—”

“Always like this…♡”

I quickly turned to Nix for help.

“…Heehee♡”

But she was already intoxicated by Yuri’s lust.

Instead, she firmly held my other arm, preventing my escape, and began to rub her crotch against mine.

Honestly, did I dislike it?

What a ludicrous question.

It’s natural that I want to rip off my clothes immediately.

But I wasn’t feeling it.

Immersed in an inexplicable sense of unease, I could only stroke Yuri’s hair.

Yuri whispered softly.

“Today, I really want… to have a baby…♡”

And in that moment…

I understood the identity of the unease.

The small hand circling my back restlessly.

Her head bowed timidly.

Her trembling back.

“…You’re anxious, aren’t you, Yuri.”

Those words slipped out involuntarily, and Yuri looked into my eyes and nodded.

“Yes… Uh-huh…!!”

Seeing her eyes welling up, as if tears were about to spill, what couldn’t I say?

I gently rested her face against my chest and slowly caressed her.

The place where Yuri, who rarely cries, allows herself to cry…

…is in my arms.

“Nix, come here too.”

“Mmm…”

The darkening night sky, and the warm glow of candlelight filling the dining table.

The three of us sat quietly around it.

“It’ll be a long story, but you’ll both listen, right?”

One another’s hearts can deviate at any time.

Every time that happens, what’s needed is a sincere conversation that lays everything bare.

Yuri and Nix blushed, repeatedly nodding.

“Yes, yes—!”

“…Anytime.”

And as always, I hugged them both, one in each arm.

And I began to speak leisurely.

“Actually… I can’t have a child through the usual means.”