episode_0109

*

The room I entered with complicated feelings was extremely dark.

I tried to light a candle to drive away the darkness, but the darkness was too thick to be illuminated by just a small flame.

Rather, the ominous shadows created by my body and the furniture crawled eerily on the wall, moving with the flickering candlelight.

For some reason, the swaying shadows seemed to be mocking me.

I opened the bottom drawer and took out a handmade herbal cigarette.

I lit the cigarette with the candle and then pressed the candle out with my index finger.

“Hoo…”

I scattered the white smoke into the darkness.

The faint moonlight streaming through the window slightly illuminated the hazy cigarette smoke.

At that moment, two gleaming eyes slowly emerged from the scattering cigarette smoke.

“Lighting a candle, then putting it out… you seem restless. Are you feeling unsettled?”

“…”

“What’s the reason? Was Paolo’s disappearance that shocking? Or are the nuns’ sexual desires starting to feel repulsive to you now? Or perhaps you’re just feeling sorry for your own corruption?”

“Hoo…”

“Is that all?”

“Why bother asking when you know everything? Do you want me to grate your head with a needle?”

An evil, dry laugh scraped sharply through the room.

“Another threat? You’re more suited to being a back-alley thug than a priest. Ah, is that why you feel sorry for Paolo? Do you feel some kind of kinship?”

“Ha…”

“You should know by now that your violence isn’t very effective in restraining me.”

Kunat, you damn bitch.

It seems she never tires of teasing me.

I closed my mouth and finished my cigarette.

I can’t win an argument with her anyway.

“Billy, do you know?”

“Know what?”

“Do you know how strange you’re acting right now?”

“I said I don’t know, damn it. Are your ears blocked?”

“It’s you who’s blocked your ears, not me. Now, now… don’t just deny everything, listen carefully.”

Kunat, in her black cat form, slowly walked towards me and instantly transformed into a woman with red skin.

She gently pushed my chest, sat me down on the bed, and then sat on my lap, facing me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and continued speaking.

“Let’s summarize how strangely you’re acting.”

“What about me?”

“You holed yourself up in this village because you didn’t want to fall for my demonic tricks, but this village coexists with demons. You say you don’t plan on going outside, but you’ve prepared weapons to fight monsters.”

“I’m coexisting with demons because you won’t leave, and the nuns…”

I shut my mouth.

What good is it now to say that the nuns surrendered their bodies to demons?

In the first place, Lucia was the only one who gave herself willingly.

Anna made a contract with a demon to save me, and Sola was unilaterally parasitized by a demon, so I couldn’t blame them.

Not wanting to single out and blame Lucia, I naturally changed the subject.

“I didn’t go looking for weapons. I just happened to get a crossbow, so I was thinking about how to use it. Besides, it’s not a bad thing to prepare to fight monsters.”

“You could say that.”

Kunat snapped her fingers lightly and created a thick, handmade cigarette in her hand.

Unlike mine, which was made by rolling herbs soaked in holy water, this was a high-quality cigarette made by carefully rolling proper tobacco leaves.

She put the cigarette to her lips and tightened her arms around my neck, pulling me closer.

The end of my cigarette met the end of hers.

She squinted, then slowly closed her eyes and inhaled.

There was a distance of two cigarettes between our lips, but Kunat’s gestures, expression, and atmosphere seemed to evoke a deep, romantic kiss.

The flame slowly transferred from my cigarette to hers.

She slowly leaned back, tilting her head upwards.

Her bright red neckline was clearly exposed.

For some reason, it looked like she was waiting for me to strangle her.

After tilting her head for a while, Kunat exhaled a thick cloud of cigarette smoke into the air.

The savory and rich scent of high-quality tobacco tickled my nose.

Kunat wiggled her butt on my thighs, settling deeper and more comfortably. Then she slowly lowered her head, clinging to me again.

Her large breasts seemed to be trying to fill the inside of my neck.

She pushed her breasts against my face like a woman breastfeeding a baby.

“Cute.”

“Get lost before I burn your nipples with my cigarette.”

“Oh, why are you saying such harsh things?”

Kunat chuckled and ran her fingers through my hair.

Then, she slowly stroked my hair back and continued speaking.

“Your strange behavior isn’t just that. You pretend to be obsessed with faith but can’t resist the nuns’ seductions, you pretend to hate evil but try to forgive Paolo’s evil deeds, and you slept with Anna as soon as you vowed to love Lucia.”

“… That’s,”

“And now, when they show signs of lust, you’re smoking cigarettes with such a complicated expression, aren’t you?”

“…”

I couldn’t say anything.

She wasn’t wrong about anything.

Having succumbed to lust in the first place, I can’t make any excuses in that regard.

Excuses, or even attempts at clarification, are nothing more than ugly rationalizations.

None of this would have happened if I had resisted the temptation.

Moreover, even if I had committed the act because I fell for an irresistible temptation, I wouldn’t be qualified to evade this criticism, since I enjoyed the nights I spent with the nuns.

It was just annoying that this nagging was coming from a demon.

Kunat exhaled cigarette smoke behind my back again and continued speaking.

“Also, you, who hates demons so much, have shown no reluctance to let them use the power of demons since some time ago.”

“That’s… because it’s unavoidable in order to fight monsters. You know that too, so stop trying to mess with my head with nonsense.”

“Hmm? Even so, isn’t it a little strange that you don’t even frown when Lucia reveals her Ebony Wolf form? You, who used to kill demons, even children, without mercy.”

“…”

That’s because I decided to bear their sins.

Even if they fall into Hell, I will go to Hell to protect them.

Since there’s no way to save a soul that has already been tainted by a demon, I will protect them even in Hell.

After making that decision, I stopped preventing them from using the power of demons to maintain their lives in this ruined world.

However, Kunat’s words also made sense.

This inevitably means that they are becoming closer to demons.

And even though I knew that fact, why didn’t I have much aversion to them using the power of demons?

Now, even if Lucia’s body is dyed pitch black, or Anna flies in the sky, it doesn’t feel that bad.

“Isn’t it strange? Even you must think that your recent appearance is swaying back and forth like a ship without a helmsman.”

That’s definitely right.

Recently, I’ve been lost like sheep without a shepherd.

Is it because the Goddess is not healthy?

No, stop thinking.

How dare I blame my sins on Her, what impious thoughts.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying this because it seems like you don’t know why you’re wandering around like that.”

“… What reason could there be, I must have been just that kind of person.”

“Don’t try to change the subject with self-deprecation that you don’t mean, it won’t work at all, and it doesn’t suit you.”

“…”

“You’re a nightmare for demons, how could such a person be suited to self-deprecation?”

“You’re the one who’s changing the subject.”

“Ah, sorry about that, I just love to talk so much.”

Kunat chuckled and stroked my head.

“It’s because you’re stupid.”

“Yeah, so you were just trying to pick a fight.”

“I’m not talking about intelligence.”

Kunat grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.

Her sharp eyes and plump lips were glistening so clearly at the same time.

Kunat looked directly at my face and continued speaking.

“The world has changed, did you think you wouldn’t change?”

“What do you mean.”

“I’m saying it’s only natural that you’ve changed! Good heavens, the fate of the human race ended a long time ago, so how could the fate of one individual, Billy, Father Theodore, go well?”

“…”

“That’s what I mean by you being stupid. I’m not saying it’s strange that you’ve changed, I’m saying your current state of doubting and not accepting that change, and suffering because of it, is too foolish.”

That makes sense.

Even if we consider the inherently optimistic Sola an exception, Lucia and Anna, who have already accepted their changes, didn’t seem to be suffering or swayed by anything.

Not in the face of the world’s destruction, corrupted religious beliefs, or even the death of a man who lived in the same village,

They didn’t show any signs of wavering.

“…”

“The world is a mess. Billy, even if you have the old common sense and morality, only you will suffer.”

Kunat brought her lips close to my face and whispered into my ear in a low voice.

“Anyway, you don’t even have the confidence to keep that morality anymore, do you?”

“… Kunat.”

“I’m listening, Billy.”

“Fuck off.”

I blew cigarette smoke in her face.

Kunat frowned, seemingly because the scent of holy water-soaked herbs was quite unpleasant for a demon, and then pressed the back of my head with the hand that had been stroking my hair.

My face was buried deep between her breasts.

“Ugh… hey.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Let go.”

“Push me away yourself.”

“You keep climbing all over me?”

“Isn’t it nice?”

“I don’t like it. Your lobster-like skin is disgusting.”

Kunat chuckled, then pressed her breasts against my face and continued speaking.

“Hmm… Come to think of it, it was the same when you were having sex with Anna. You don’t seem to be very obsessed with breasts.”

“Do demons have a tendency to eavesdrop on other people’s affairs?”

“Isn’t that the same for humans?”

Kunat tilted her head slightly and whispered.

“Orphans like you, who grew up without parental love, usually have an obsession with nipples or breasts. You’re different. Maybe you have a unique sexual preference that others can’t even imagine.”

“You’re hilarious. It must be because the Goddess’s love and mercy filled my lack of motherhood.”

“Oh, please… don’t say such disgusting things. My breasts are several times better than those small ones.”

“You’re being incredibly impious, demon.”

“Hehehe, could there be any higher praise for a demon?”

Kunat and I looked at each other and exhaled cigarette smoke.

I pushed Kunat away slightly to look for an ashtray.

However, Kunat shook her head and snatched my cigarette, rubbing the burning end against her palm to extinguish it.

Then she clenched the bent cigarette in her fist, and when she opened her hand, the cigarette was gone without a trace.

It’s a convenient skill, but I don’t want to keep a demon on my thighs, so I pushed Kunat away and continued speaking.

“Besides, what kind of sexual preference would I have? I’ve only just become aware of sex.”

Kunat slowly moved away, smacked her lips as if disappointed, and then got off my thighs and onto the floor.

She shrugged and said.

“Who knows, maybe you like demons?”

“I’ll kill you.”

“Hey, how about giving it a try?”

“I’ll snap my fingers.”

“I still have a lit cigarette in my hand. This world is precious now with working houses, so don’t do that if you don’t want to start a fire.”

“You don’t give in at all.”

I slowly turned my head and stretched my stiff body.

Kunat tossed the cigarette she had been smoking into the air.

Her cigarette disappeared somewhere.

I looked at Kunat like that and quietly opened my mouth.

“Kunat.”

“What’s wrong?”

I picked up the rosary that was on the bedside table and said.

“Paolo, what did you do to him…”

“…”

Kunat smiled.

“I have no idea.”

“I figured.”

I wrapped the rosary around my hand.

Kunat is right.

The world has changed, but I’m the same, so I’m experiencing confusion.

But, what can I do.

Unlike the nuns, I’m not a young child, I’m an adult whose head has already hardened.

I have no choice but to act as I’ve been taught.

And when I’m faced with a dead end, I’ve always used one method to get through this world.

“I never thought I’d find out easily from the start.”

Catch demons.