episode_0045

*

After returning to the island, finishing evening Mass, and eating dinner, I returned to my room and sat at my desk.

As I was diligently scribbling something on the parchment with a pen, Kunat, who had entered the room unnoticed, spoke to me.

“Billy, what are you doing?”

“Why are you talking to me again, being such a pain in the ass.”

“…”

Kunat scratched around his ear, looking embarrassed.

I sighed and answered.

“I’m revising the map. Why?”

“Map?”

I unfolded the parchment I had been scribbling on a moment ago and showed it.

The parchment was a rough map of this area, including Mora Village.

The map was covered with symbols I had newly marked.

I tapped the notebook spread out on the desk with my quill pen and continued.

“I roughly wrote down the places I’ve explored so far and what I’ve found. I’m marking them on the map.”

“Hmm, I see.”

Kunat nodded and slowly walked over to look at the map.

“You wouldn’t know if you looked at it.”

“You underestimate me too much. Isn’t this cross mark here a major facility, and this circular symbol here indicates that there’s nothing more to get from it?”

“What, how did you know?”

“Don’t forget that I’ve been with you every time you’ve explored.”

“Ha, I wish I could leave you, you little devil, at home.”

Despite my blunt tone, Kunat smiled slyly and replied.

“You sleep in the same room with me every night, how can you say such a hurtful thing?”

“Stop saying disgusting things.”

“Heeheehee.”

Kunat let out a creepy laugh and looked at the map again.

Then, he took out a claw and pointed to one of the symbols I had drawn.

“What’s this symbol here? This one marked near Mora Village and the harbor.”

“It means a place where there are no monsters left.”

“Hmm?”

“I was sure of it when I went out today. There are no more monsters near Mora Village now.”

Kunat tilted his head for a moment, then nodded and said.

“That makes sense. The Ebony Wolf was very active…”

“Lucia.”

“…”

“Lucia was active. If you call her the Ebony Wolf one more time, I won’t let it slide.”

“… Okay, Lucia worked hard. To catch the eye of a heartless man who pushes her away.”

“…”

I glared sharply at Kunat.

Kunat met my gaze without avoiding it and opened his mouth again.

“Why do you keep pushing Lucia away?”

“…”

“It’s not just Lucia, Anna too. Why do you keep ignoring the feelings of the women who pour affection on you? You’re honestly attracted to them, aren’t you?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Just tell me. Aren’t we drinking buddies who’ve shared the same bottle?”

Kunat playfully sprawled out on the desk.

Anyone who heard it would think we were real friends.

I scoffed, feeling ridiculous.

“What happened last time we drank together? Oh, a needle got stuck in your chest.”

“… When you drink, it’s natural to say nonsense and fight.”

“Oh, you’re comfortable living with a needle, huh?”

Kunat grimaced for a moment, then slowly sighed and opened his mouth.

“Don’t keep being so cynical. I’m just being considerate because it seems like you have nowhere to turn with your worries. It’s not like I’m trying to do anything bad.”

“If a devil claims they’re not trying to do anything bad, should I believe them? Or should I be suspicious?”

“I’m just worried about your mental health. You’re like my strategic weapon.”

“You little…”

“Those nuns rely on you whenever they’re having a hard time, and they even confess to you, but you can’t do that, can you?”

“…”

I put the quill pen I was holding down on the desk.

Kunat flinched and raised his body.

He must have thought I was going to throw a punch.

I chuckled as I looked at the cowering Kunat and slowly began to answer.

“Do you really think those nuns love me?”

“Doesn’t it seem that way to anyone who looks at it?”

“Stop lying. You know everything too.”

“…”

Kunat smiled slightly.

“Hmm, I don’t know?”

“Ha….”

I said with annoyance.

“I know too, that they have feelings for me.”

“It doesn’t seem like you know from the way you act.”

“Why wouldn’t I know when they directly say they like me?”

“You should have known before that.”

“I knew before too.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“… What kind of idiot wouldn’t know when someone secretly watches you sleep, asks you to touch their breasts, and even kisses you?”

“… Why is someone who knows that acting so stiff?”

“Because it’s not love.”

“What, are you trying to tell some old-fashioned story about how lust isn’t love? Ugh.”

“No.”

I shook my head and answered.

“Giving them the benefit of the doubt, they might have a slight crush on me. Even though I look like this, there’s no other man around besides me.”

“Your evaluation is harsh. Even if religion emphasizes humility to priests, it doesn’t make you belittle yourself.”

“Then, shit, am I good-looking?”

“I’m into it.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Heeheeheehee.”

I punched Kunat’s head with my fist.

Kunat was still giggling as he peeled his flattened head off the desk.

I ignored Kunat and continued.

“But it’s strange for them to suddenly be so proactive. Anyone can see that.”

“There must be some kind of trigger?”

“Yeah, they didn’t used to be this proactive. And I know what that trigger is.”

I glared at Kunat.

Kunat grabbed his crumpled head and slowly backed away.

Then, as if making excuses, he hurriedly opened his mouth.

“I’m saying this in advance, I didn’t do anything…”

“Who said it was your fault?”

“Isn’t it?”

“Why, is there something you’re feeling guilty about?”

“No.”

“…”

“I’ve just been getting hit by you so much that I’ve become cautious. Like a beaten wife.”

“Ah, seriously.”

“Then, what do you think is the trigger?”

I pointed out the window and answered.

“Because the world has ended.”

“… What?”

“Monsters appeared and the world ended. Sola was the only one who remained calm even after hearing that fact.”

Looking back, that was true.

Anna was very confused by the news that the world had ended, and when her thoughts slowly cleared, she feared that her family and neighbors might be dead.

As soon as Lucia heard the news that the world had ended, she succumbed to the desire to try running again and accepted the devil into her body.

But Sola calmly thought about what she had to do.

It even seemed like she saw it as an opportunity to go outside the island.

Was it because she had only lived on the island her whole life?

Or was it because she was the only one not related to the devil?

Sola digested the situation more calmly and stably than the other two nuns.

Kunat also nodded at my words and said.

“That kid definitely seems a bit special.”

“She might seem like a fool, but Sola’s not a fool. She just hasn’t been taught.”

“Could it be that she has a special birth or something?”

“That’s possible…”

Considering that Sola was abandoned as soon as she was born and raised on this island, it was likely that she was the illegitimate child of someone with a high status.

Sola’s fiery red hair is mostly seen in people of low status,

Maybe a noble who suddenly impregnated a prostitute abandoned the child as soon as it was born, or a young lady from a high family had an affair with a servant and gave birth to an illegitimate child.

Noble blood and commoner blood flowing in equal parts.

For some reason, that felt just like Sola.

“So? Does that mean that the two nuns are aggressively coming on to you because the world has ended?”

“Yeah. The two of them were very anxious about the news. They must have needed a place to lean on because they were anxious.”

“And that’s you?”

“I don’t think I’m someone who is loved, but I think I’m at least quite reliable.”

“Well… that’s not a completely wrong analysis.”

Kunat nodded.

In fact, this guy probably already knew even if I didn’t say it.

A devil who digs into the gaps in people’s hearts couldn’t have failed to notice their confusion.

Besides, how is this just their problem?

I too have made so many mistakes because of that confusion and fear.

Right now, the fact that this bastard Kunat is still by my side is also because of a mistake I made when I was confused by the fact that the world had ended.

My biggest mistake slowly opened his mouth and countered my words.

“But you can’t say that it’s not love, can you? Dependent love may not be healthy, but it’s still love.”

“… I don’t know.”

“Then, instead of them, shall we talk about you?”

“What?”

“What do you think of those two?”

I answered without taking a breath.

“They’re children I have to protect. Sola too.”

Kunat chuckled as soon as he heard my answer and shook his head.

“Liar.”

“…”

“Lying in front of a devil.”

Kunat continued speaking mockingly.

“I know your heart beats fast when Lucia is in your arms. I know your face turns red when Anna blows air into your ear, and I know you secretly sniff and look for Lucia’s scent that remains on the bed.”

“Shut up.”

“You already regard them as women. Right?”

“Do you think I’ll be manipulated by the devil’s words?”

“It’s not the devil’s tongue that’s deceiving you, it’s your conscience.”

“…”

Kunat relentlessly cornered me.

I felt very unpleasant, but I didn’t interrupt Kunat.

In fact, the way to end this conversation was simple.

All I had to do was activate the needle stuck in her chest.

But for some reason, I squeezed my eyes shut and just listened to Kunat’s gentle voice.

Just as she said, maybe I wanted to confide my worries to someone too.

Of course, a devil wouldn’t be a very wise choice as someone to confide in.

But there was no other choice.

I couldn’t confide these worries to Anna or Lucia themselves, and it would be even stranger to confide in Sola.

I took a deep sigh and slowly nodded.

“… Yeah.”

“Ooh.”

“I want to accept it too.”

“Ehem-”

“I don’t have the shameless thought of wanting to take both of them, but I want to repay kindness with kindness. I want to return affection with affection.”

“Then?”

I shook my head.

“But it’s still no.”

“But why!”

I stared straight at Kunat and said.

“… It’s because of you.”

“What…”

Kunat froze for a moment.

For some reason, he seemed genuinely flustered, which didn’t suit him.