episode_0097

As we arrived at the meeting place, we were able to meet Junseok hyung, who had arrived earlier.

Today was Saturday, the day we had made plans with Junseok hyung.

There was still an hour left until our meeting time, but Junseok hyung had come out earlier than us, who had rushed out early in the morning to avoid being late. I wonder how long he had been waiting.

“It’s been a while, Junseok…ah.”

It still felt strange to call him ‘hyung.’ I had been so excited to see him just a moment ago, but now I felt like everything had gone wrong from the start.

“It’s been a while, Eunhye…ah. And how is your husband doing?”

Junseok hyung’s voice calling me didn’t sound very familiar, but he still greeted me warmly. Why did his expression suddenly turn so grim when he saw my husband?

“Yes, hello, hyung. Have you been well all this time?”

“Haha… Yes, yes… thanks to you…”

“If you ever have any difficulties, please feel free to tell me. If you make my husband suffer, my wife will be sad, so I can’t allow that. You know that, right?”

“I have no difficulties at all! Thanks to your husband’s care, I have no reason to suffer!”

As my husband spoke, Junseok hyung, who had a pale face, raised his head and smiled stiffly.

Maybe it was just my mood, but it seemed like Junseok hyung was struggling not to be intimidated by my husband. After all, my husband was a few years older than him, so maybe he was nervous because of that?

Our first meeting was almost the worst possible scenario, and on top of that, my husband had been very shy since he was young.

“Junseok oppa, even though he’s in front of my husband, you don’t have to be so nervous. This person is so kind and such a good person~”

Leaning my head on my husband’s shoulder, I hugged his arm tightly.

I wanted to emphasize that he was not just kind, but also cute and muscular, but there was no need to go that far.

I just needed to reassure Junseok hyung that my husband was not a difficult person.

“I know he’s a good person. He even found a stable job for you and helped you in various ways.”

While I was unaware, Junseok hyung had also been receiving help from my husband. Even though I was the one who should be taken care of, my husband had a sensitive side that I didn’t know about?

But he said it so casually that I almost missed it. What did Junseok hyung say just now? A job?

“Wait, he found you a job?”

“Yes, I started working on Wednesday.”

“Whaaat!?”

I had never seen or heard of such a thing! Why didn’t he tell me about such an important matter?!

“I asked him not to tell my wife. Did you forget already?”

“Ah.”

“If you keep this up, it’s going to be awkward.”

What’s going to be awkward! Is there something else they’re hiding!?

He’s already making me feel guilty about my personal issues, and now he’s making me feel even more guilty!

“Why can’t you tell me?! Are you hiding something from both of us!?”

“I didn’t think it was necessary to tell you.”

“It may not be necessary to tell me, but it’s too much! Some people say finding a job is as difficult as picking a star from the sky, so if you make it so easy for them to get a job, what will become of those people?”

“Don’t worry. I just gave him an opportunity, but his success in getting the job is due to his own efforts. Even if I’m his father-in-law, if he didn’t have the appropriate skills, I wouldn’t have accepted him.”

Then it wasn’t a parachute after all. If it was a fair way to get a job, I would have accepted it without a word of complaint, but trying to keep this issue a secret feels really uncomfortable.

“So, what kind of job is it?”

“Secret.”

Ah, this guy has so many things he’s hiding from me!

“Excuse me, but I’d like to change seats now, is that okay?”

Junseok hyung, who was urging us to move on while showing the urn he was holding in his arms towards me and my husband who were arguing.

Right, I shouldn’t forget the original purpose. I started all this to find my brother, but these two don’t know that.

Well, this was something that had to be done eventually. If there’s a past that needs to be settled, it’s only right to end it cleanly.

Anyway, my husband and I took Junseok hyung into the car and the three of us set off towards our destination.

*

After about an hour or two, we arrived at the cemetery we had chosen as our destination.

I thought it would be best for me to be cremated and placed in a columbarium, but due to my grandfather’s insistence on being buried in a nice place like a grassy field near Seoul, we ended up coming to this place.

The surroundings looked nice, probably because my grandfather had chosen this place, and there were paved roads throughout the cemetery, making the journey comfortable and parking easy.

Moreover, the burial plot for me was so spacious that it felt overwhelming.

I have no choice but to accept the kindness of my grandfather and husband.

“Oppa. This, this is the last time. Can I leave Eunseok with you… is that okay?”

I actually wanted to leave Junseok hyung with him all the way, but now it’s really the last time. I wanted to send him off with my own hands.

Even though Eunhye and Haneunseok have become different beings, there is still a lingering regret in my heart. I have to end it myself, right?

“Do it that way. You can trust Eunseok, so leave him with me.”

I can’t help but wonder how much he trusts me, but I’m not a heartless person to refuse such kindness. Siblings. Family should not be doubted lightly.

“Thank you.”

The urn I received. It was wrapped in a cloth, so it was hard to tell the exact shape, but I could tell it was a weight that was neither heavy nor light.

In this urn lies the last trace of the man I used to be before becoming a memory, Eunhye.

“Who would have thought it would end up like this.”

Each word that comes out quietly is filled with dryness, devoid of any emotion.

There is no sense of heartache or sentimentality.

Even if it was me, I am now a complete stranger who has become a man.

The traces left in me are memories of deep-seated regret, anger, and despair that I held onto until the last moment.

Even if I want to trust others, I couldn’t accept the approaching kindness out of fear of betrayal, and the memories of a fool who lost everything in the end due to his own stupidity.

Yes, there can be no affectionate actions or words to leave behind in this.

But if I were to put myself in Eunhye’s shoes, what would she say? She would probably say something like this:

“Hey, we met again. Hey, Jueunseok. Did you miss me?”

No, if it were Eunhye, at the very end, she would surely call me ‘Oppa’ with tears in her eyes.

No, no, that’s not what I meant at all. I just meant that if it were true gratitude, I would have acted that way.

But why does my heart ache like this?

“I’m sorry, Oppa.”

Huh… What am I saying right now…

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I came too late, I wanted to see you all this time. During the time we were apart, during the time we couldn’t be together, I wanted to be with you, I wanted to stay by your side until the end. It’s all because of me that it turned out like this. Because of me… I’m sorry, Oppa… I’m sorry… It’s all because of me. If it wasn’t for me, this wouldn’t have happened… Because of me… Because of me…”

With a thud, pain shoots up both legs as I lower myself, probably clutching my knees tightly.

Even though my vision is blurry and I can’t see clearly, it must be like that, right?

“I wanted to call you Oppa like back then, but I can’t do that now. I can’t see you again, can’t touch you again. I didn’t want a reunion like this! I want to keep being your twin and stay with you… No matter how many times I’m reborn, I want to be born as your sibling… Huk, huk…”

In this strange situation where tears obscure my vision, the silhouettes of two men gradually approach.

However, in my sudden inability to breathe normally, I couldn’t even identify who was who.

Just that, as they gently stroke my back and embrace me kindly, I can only tell who the owner of those arms is.

I don’t know. Why I’m saying these things. Why my heart hurts so much, why I’m confusing both of them with words and actions unrelated to my will. I don’t understand any of it.

Right now… I don’t feel like myself.

“…Yeah, Oppa… I. I wanted to be with you all along. I just wanted to say this.”