episode_0009

Those in red attire were the senior monks.

When there were no saints or holy figures present, they managed the cathedral and church, deliberating deeply with each other and deciding their tasks through divine revelations.

In front of such individuals, Lena threw a tantrum.

Inside the church where men and women couldn’t be together, she insisted on being with me.

“You see, Lena….”

As a result, she clung tightly to me, her body shaking with sobs.

She cried so much that her chest became soaked, and her skin started to sting.

How should I handle Lena, who doesn’t respond when called, clutching at my clothes and flesh?

…What did my mother do to calm me down?

“Gently… Yes, your brother is here… There, there?”

Wiping her back little by little, dabbing her tear-streaked cheeks with a cloth, her crying finally subsided.

Truly, she’s like a real younger sister in moments like this.

“Are you okay?”

Taking a deep breath, wiping away the last tears that fell, her face relaxed.

What should I do if she keeps crying until her flushed face turns red?

“Am I not allowed to be with you because you’re my hero?”

“Well, it’s not appropriate inside the cathedral -”

“Ugh, ugh…”

Despite my attempts to console her, she burst into tears again.

Her tears wouldn’t stop, so I had to hold her tightly once more.

“Do you… dislike me?”

“Why would I dislike you, Lena.”

I even helped a nun collapse, bandaging each other’s wounds, and ensuring warmth for sleep.

If asked to name the closest person in the world, it would only be Lena.

“Then why don’t you want to be with me? You have to protect me, just as I’ll be by your side. Forever.”

“…Until when?”

“We’ll be together every day. We won’t be apart.”

Is that really possible?

Even if permission is granted… so many monks might not approve of this.

Continuing like this, wouldn’t it become harmful?

“Do you not want that?”

“No, it’s not that, but….”

“Then it’s good. Hold me tight.”

How did Lena endure all this at the orphanage?

With no one to help, no parents around, fighting, getting hurt alone….

Is that why she’s afraid of being separated from me?

“…We’ll be together. Always. Forever….”

Eventually, I had to keep patting her back until Lena fell asleep with soft breaths.

If my hand slipped, she’d make displeased sounds.

Tears forming right away.

***

Since that day, we received scripture lessons.

Lena, eager to assist the hero, was given classes, while it seemed I had to go out for training –

“We’ll do everything together!”

Protesting vehemently, we ended up with the same schedule.

Under the condition that if one’s grades were lacking, they would receive lessons separately.

I nodded, but Lena… had a face filled with fear.

“If our grades are low, can’t we be together? Can’t I be with you?”

“If you do well, we can be together. Isn’t that simple?”

“Because we must be together, every day, always together… Ugh….”

The scripture lessons were tedious and challenging.

While it felt like a story, memorizing countless words and etiquette made my eyes droop gradually.

The little finger would have closed his eyes if it hadn’t bitten like a mouse nibbling on flesh.

“Are we not going to be together…?! It’s okay for you, right, even if we’re apart… Right?!”

“Lena, it’s not that, I’m strug – ow!”

“I’m struggling too, but I want to stay with you, so why do you keep -”

In the end, carrying Lena who burst into tears, that day was spent consoling and comforting her all day long.

Showing tears every time I felt exhausted, those days of apologizing even though sorry.

Eventually, every time an exam approached, somehow managed to pass it.

Lena always scored full marks, while I fell short but gradually improved.

Conversely, when learning swordsmanship, I had to help Lena.

The instructor for swordsmanship classes was always different, but here…

“He’s called Anton. Remember?”

With a torch lit on his hammer, the man who burned bugs in one go became our teacher.

I had met him once before, and I thought he would make swordsmanship lessons less challenging than they turned out to be.

Not at all. Not in the least.

Running, resting.

Swinging the wooden sword, resting.

Finally, facing off with the wooden sword –

While learning wasn’t easy, it was physically painful.

More so for Lena than me.

When we first held the swords, our bodies ached, and it seemed like Lena was experiencing the same pain.

“It hurts, there, ah – ouch?!”

“They said it would loosen up if you swing vigorously. Just endure a bit.”

On such days, thankfully, we weren’t asked to memorize scriptures, but instead, I had to read aloud as if telling a story until she fell asleep.

Despite her efforts, Lena never managed to wield the sword.

She was too small and weak to handle the same sword.

Instead, she started practicing with a lighter wooden staff.

Even then, she often had to sit down due to exhaustion.

“Brother, here… hah, brought water…!”

“If it’s this hard, rest more, Lena.”

“No, I have to build up my stamina like this so we can stay together…!”

After handing me a bowl of water, Lena immediately went to offer water to the other knights who were resting.

And began sharing water with light greetings.

For some reason, she left my side.

“I need to help, huh?!”

“Rest properly, Lian.”

Anton was the one who stopped me from following.

Grabbing me with his large hand, he firmly planted the wooden sword, a broadsword itself compared to me, into the ground.

“But if Lena isn’t with me -”

“It’s part of the training for that.”

It was true.

Carrying a water jug and pouring water cup by cup, Lena didn’t call out to me or cry.

“Lena lacks a lot of stamina. Being a girl plays a role, but her body is completely different from ours.”

“You mean exercise?”

“Yes. So during training, when she kept falling behind, I suggested – you can guess what happened.”

His face showed many emotions as he trembled.

But he didn’t do that in front of me. It was a story unknown to me.

“So we made a promise. As a condition of staying together – even if only for a short while, she will share water and socialize with others.”

“Wearing the staff is because the sword doesn’t suit her, right?”

“So it is. It seemed right to change that.”

Thinking back, in the story of the saint I had read, she was holding a long rod-like object.

At the end, something like a sentence was attached.

“Tough -”

Shuffling over, Lena, who came walking unsteadily, was drenched in sweat as she embraced tightly.

As I wiped her with the handkerchief she always carried, she closed her eyes with a contented hum.

Why did I want to stay by her side so desperately?

“Now, after resting, it’s training time, Lian. Get ready.”

“Ugh -”

While Lena, clinging to me, still caught her breath,

After consoling her, her strength would likely drain away again.

I wonder if she can do well…

“Ugh, Lena, you’re too close!”

“Uh-huh….”

And why are you pressing your nose against my neck in so many places?

Moistly.

***

“The time is up. It’s time for all students to submit their answer sheets. Make sure your name and age are written correctly.”

Name, Lian.

Age – nineteen.

After confirming that everything was written correctly, I handed the student behind me a paper that had turned black from being rubbed repeatedly.

Having written and read the passages over and over, I could now easily jot them down.

“Excuse me.”

Underneath the male student’s clothes were pants.

Underneath the female student’s clothes were long fabric covering her ankles and a black veil covering her head.

But even with that, Lena’s golden eyes couldn’t be hidden, nor could her voice that had become more alluring.

“Oh… It’s you?”

A paper slipped out as she nodded.

Taking it, Lena set aside the exam sheet with my name on it, then merged it with the top sheet she had collected.

With a bow, she disappeared along with the etiquette, drawing brief attention from those around.

Honestly, it had been four years since reaching adulthood, yet she still acted this way.

“Did Danniel try to approach Lena and ended up being chased away?”

“I warned him so much that it was like a thorn in his ear, well, at that point, he brought it upon himself.”

Attempting to approach someone is a euphemism for confession.

There’s an absolute rule that men and women cannot be together.

Those found violating it are immediately expelled.

It had been less than a year since I realized how flimsy that was before the power of emotions.

In fact, the moment Lena was always with me, it had already crumbled.

Just thinking about the passage in the scripture, ‘Love each other faithfully and prosper,’ loving wasn’t a sin.

However, if you display it or engage in direct acts, you must – simply leave the cathedral.

Lena had already been expelled from the cathedral five times like that.

“You know, aren’t Lian and Lena treated specially?”

“If chosen by the Holy Sword, would they be chased out of the cathedral?”

“Senior, Lena and Lian are siblings. Weren’t they following each other calling one another brother and sister?”

Since Lena didn’t cling to me as she used to, I could listen more to the conversations around me.

So the stories I heard were – more sibling stories.

But only outside; in our room…

“They are siblings. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be in the same room! Don’t you know how Yoo-ri got out?”

Ah, Yoo-ri. She was the aspiring healer I saw at the door.

Lena had asked me to report her directly.

When I suggested looking into it once, I couldn’t forget the look Lena gave me.

Clutching just a single sheet of paper, the forlorn figure moved his steps away from the cathedral’s entrance.

“Why does Lena scare other girls if she’s right? Are there people who forget how the Patchi sisters were driven away?”

Right. One out of five was a girl.

I remember she was two years younger than me.

Did Lena snatch the note that was handed to me and take it away immediately?

The content could be roughly guessed, though.

*Ahem.*

There were more stories about Lena and me than about the exams, so I left with a fake cough.

The stares being sent my way were burdensome, and I had to retrieve a book from my locker for the next class.

“Huh.”

There shouldn’t be anything in my pocket.

The key that I always kept in my inner pocket was missing.

Did I leave it on the desk because of the exam? Or inside a drawer?

“Brother, did you lose something?”

A whisper-like voice that made my back shiver gently tickled my ear.

Having refined herself through Anton Knight’s training, Lena became somewhat ‘subtle,’ one might say.

Far enough to not draw attention from the teachers and nuns, but seemingly too close for others to see.

“…Where did you find it?”

Smiling, she raised a finger to her lips and then walked away, leaving me behind.

The girl who used to sob by my side and run off somewhere, now grown so much already…

But why does she keep insisting on staying by my side?

Feeling the remaining warmth on the key I received, just as I was about to unlock the lock –

Something crumpled in Lena’s hand as she left.

Did she receive another note?

…Is she going to whimper again at night?

Wanting comfort with words like “I keep receiving confessions,” or wanting praise for working hard and feeling lonely for not seeing much today.

Pushing such thoughts aside, I finished the rest of the classes.

Continuing to hear stories about Lena around me.

She grew up so beautifully.

Well, she was always different since she was young.

After a hasty dinner, I headed back to my room.

Upon opening the door, I saw a fair-haired girl tidying her hair.

Already neatly arranged bedding as well.

“Brother.”

She used to rush over and hug me tightly, but now standing with arms extended – perhaps seeking confirmation.

“Hehehe.”

The laughter wasn’t much different from before.

A gentle pat on the head, and she sat back on the bed, nudging my side with her hand.

It seemed like not much had changed over the years.

Always wanting to hold hands.

Fidgeting fingers when they’re empty, as if feeling uneasy.

“You know, Lena -”

“Yes, Brother?”

You’re giggling and glancing around before I even finish speaking; it’s too much.

As if waiting for something to be said.

“Today, did you… receive another confession?”

“Why would you think that?”

Huh. Wasn’t it a confession?

Why do you look surprised by the question?

And slightly smiling, too.

“No, I thought… I saw you crumpling another note today.”

Huh.

Why is your face stiffening?

Did I ask something I shouldn’t have?

Or maybe the instructors warned you again…

“Why are you so shocked? It was just plain trash, Brother.”

With a faint smile and a chuckle, Lena.

But her eyes… seem not to be laughing.

“Yes, simply… trash.”