episode_0138

“…”

Sooah first surveyed her surroundings.

The Mystic crew was each lost in their own worries.

Now’s my chance to touch my phone. Sooah frantically tapped away at her phone under the desk.

[Sooah Commando Unit]

[Sooah: What’s up? What are you doing?]

[Deer: What do you think?]

[Deer: Helping you improve your image at work, of course. In return, you have to do a Kim Yoohan impersonation with makeup later.]

[Deer: We’re helping each other out, that’s all. I already talked to Live Monkey, too. Those two are meeting you for the first time, and I’m a friend.]

[Live Monkey: Yep, I actually felt betrayed at first. Kim Yoohan was Sooah all along. Felt like I’d been shot in the head.]

[Live Monkey: But thinking about it again, it’s not bad.]

[Live Monkey: It’s nice to see my friend succeed, and maybe I can get introduced to a celebrity guy later.]

What is this? I think she’s only being truthful about the last part.

[Sooah: No, I get it. I get it.] [Sooah: How does this improve my image?]

Sooah couldn’t understand.

Didn’t this just turn me into an emotionless machine? How is that good for my image?

[Deer: Dude, are we supposed to just say you have Savant Syndrome? This is a hundred, a thousand times better than that, right?]

“…”

That’s right.

These guys seriously believe that Sooah has Savant Syndrome. The thought made her head throb.

There were mountains of things Sooah wanted to talk about, but unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to use her phone.

“Excuse me.”

Kim Sun-il spoke up.

“Yes?”

Is it because he’s handsome? As soon as Sun-il said those two words, Go Eun-bi’s eyes sparkled with an expression Sooah had never seen before.

Sooah thought, Wow, I really want to punch her.

Kim Sun-il continued.

“How has Sooah been doing to be like this?”

“If I were to say it all, it would never end.”

Deer took a sip of water.

“How can I say this… It was like she wasn’t even a person. Like, whatever she did, it wasn’t human-level? It even hurt my heart.”

Kim Sun-il quietly stroked his chin.

“…In short, this problem has been around for a while, and it’s much better now. Still, she has good friends. They seem to worry a lot.”

Sooah wanted to argue.

That’s not it! It means that I was frustrating because whatever I did, I was like an animal! Ah, of course, Eun-bi deliberately said it in a way to make Kim Sun-il misunderstand!

Sooah realized that talking to Eun-bi about this wouldn’t solve anything. Calling Kim Yi-seo was the answer.

“CEO nim. What’s this meeting for?”

“You know that Sooah has gotten so big that Mystic has a lot more work, right?”

“Yes.”

“We’re in a situation where we urgently need talented people in each field, so I’m thinking of utilizing these talents.”

“Talents?”

“Yes. Connections with reporters, community opinion and fan cafe management, and even supporting fire for streaming. Each and every one of them is reliable, right?”

At the same time, Seo Yeon-joo whispered in her ear.

“These are people who give you significant help, but what if they turn their backs on you one day? So we’re treating them in advance. To definitely pull them over to our side.”

“Ah.”

“Usually, people like that work out of fanship. Just by us showing our faces, their motivation will be through the roof, right? Of course, we also give them a lot of other gifts, but it’s cheap compared to the benefits we get.”

Are they really fans?

Sooah was confused, but she understood the intention of this meeting itself. Mystic called them here, instead.

Then Kim Yi-seo opened her mouth.

“Let’s just say hello today. Mystic is too busy. Thank you all for making time.”

Then the three friends stand up at the same time.

Kim Yi-seo smiled at them.

“I’ll continue to take care of you three from time to time. Please feel free to tell me if you need anything, and in return, please continue to…”

Before the CEO nim could finish speaking, the friends answered.

“We’ll deliver news from reporters right away.”

“I’m a professional at managing fan cafes. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll promote Mystic sometimes while broadcasting.”

After that, when they left the conference room…

Sooah quickly got up.

“CEO nim.”

“Yes, Sooah.”

“They’re helping me, so I’ll go see them off.”

So Sooah hurriedly chased after her friends, and after only the Mystic people were left in the conference room.

“This is crazy.”

Kim Sun-il’s first words were.

“To have pulled off method acting to the point where her personality is worn down, how much effort has she put in all this time?”

“You can’t even put it into words. Besides, somehow…”

Kim Yi-seo nodded.

“Sooah has always demanded a huge amount of script. I was wondering if she would really look at it all, but now I know the answer. Sooah would have read everything with immersion.”

“…You have to be appropriately immersed. Even to the point of ruining yourself?”

Kim Sun-il frowned at that moment.

“On the other hand, it’s touching.”

Seo Yeon-joo interjected.

“She’s actually empty, but she’s been acting out various emotions because she wants to get along with us, right?”

In the end, Kim Yi-seo sighed.

“Haaa…”

Her face is full of worry.

“She gained unbelievable acting skills, but lost herself in the process? Is there another story in the world as pathetic as this?”

Sooah never lost anything, though.

.

.

.

.

.

At the same time.

Sooah was going to grab her friends in the hallway right away, but cautiously went into the bathroom. After that, she opened all the toilet stall doors to make sure there was no one inside.

─Did this kid’s intelligence suddenly go up?

─Maybe it’s because she’s been driven to the extreme.

‘Be quiet. I’m serious.’

Sooah immediately interrogated her friends.

“What are you guys? Why did you come here?”

“Why did we come? We got an invitation. It’s an invitation we got helping you, of all people?”

Deer showed the text message she received from Kim Yi-seo.

“No, um, what I mean is, you should have told me you were coming beforehand.”

“You hid Kim Yoohan’s identity, too.”

“…”

She doesn’t have anything to say about that.

Her friends only received an invitation while helping Sooah, and she hid Kim Yoohan’s identity even though they’re close, so they might be upset.

Then Deer held out her hand first.

“In conclusion, it all worked out well, right? I could tell that you decided to just stay quiet at the company without saying much, so we solidified your image as a machine, right?”

“…Wow, can you guys see that?”

Sooah said, admiring. Aren’t friends friends for a reason? To be able to see through Sooah’s image management.

So the two shook hands.

“Of course. You can’t let them find out about the Savant Syndrome. They’ll lowball you every time you write a contract, thinking you’re mentally challenged.”

“No, um, yeah. I know you did it for me, but I’m not really…”

“You’re not really? What?”

“…Nothing.”

Sooah couldn’t finish her sentence. It’s because she couldn’t deny “mentally challenged” and “Savant Syndrome.”

Sooah couldn’t deny the mentally challenged part because of her conscience, and the latter… Anyway, her friends are actively helping because they think Sooah has Savant Syndrome, right? So yeah.

…It’s amazing. How did this situation happen?

“Why are you trying to say something and stopping? Oh yeah. We didn’t talk about your embarrassing history, either. We’re thankful unnie nim, aren’t we.”

“That’s right. I’m sincerely grateful for that.”

Sooah shook the clasped hands.

“Not empty-handed?”

“What?”

At the same time, the friends’ eyes sparkled.

“Sooah-ya, do a Kim Yoohan impersonation for us.”

“Ah, seriously. Please. Please do it.”

“Honestly, I don’t believe it. Are you really Kim Yoohan? Huh?”

Sooah was disgusted.

“Ah, what are you talking about? I don’t do things like that.”

Then the friends gripped Sooah’s hand tightly.

“Did we ask for money or threaten you? We’ve worked hard in each of our fields for your success. You can do this much, right? We’re just asking you to do an impersonation…”

“…”

Thinking about it, they do have a point.

“Ah, just once…”

Sooah cleared her throat a few times.

『Shhh, it’s a secret.』

“Kyaaaaaaah!”

“Gyaak! Gyaeueaak!”

“Eueheheheheheut!”

They’re making a fuss, pinching each other. They’re jumping around, then leaning against the wall and sliding down. How much of a fuss did they make when it was aired?

Sooah was afraid that someone would hear.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh.”

Sooah covered her friends’ mouths.

“Is the impersonation done with this?”

“Don’t forget the collaboration broadcast later!”

“Let me see Sun-il ssi again.”

“And please trust us. Sooah-ya, please tell us if there’s a surprise plot twist later. We’re still friends.”

“Okay. Okay, so…”

Sooah sighed deeply.

Success must be amazing. I never thought I’d be friends with them like this before.

Well, let’s just say I’ve gained loud but reliable allies.

.

.

.

.

.

After sending her friends off, Sooah’s mind was complicated.

‘I don’t know if this is good or bad…’

Yeah, that’s what’s confusing.

Will the misunderstanding her friends created really be helpful? Should I clear things up now?

Unfortunately, Sooah’s brain couldn’t make a judgment.

Right at that moment.

─It can be seen as nothing short of excellent.

Kim Yoohan Sooah spoke up.

‘Yoohan Sooah!’

Sooah shouted, happy. My light! My intelligence!

─In my opinion, your friends did a very big thing today. It would be good to say that they laid the foundation for Sooah sunbae nim to move on to a bigger stage.

‘Huh? Making me out to be a machine without emotions?’

─Of course, Sooah sunbae nim.

Kim Yoohan clicked his tongue.

─First of all, are you somewhat aware of the fact that Sooah sunbae nim is succeeding very quickly right now?

‘Yeah. I know that.’

There’s no way I couldn’t know with all the articles pouring out.

─The problem is that success is coming too fast compared to the speed at which your intelligence is growing. This is a very big problem.

‘…’

Sooah narrowed her eyes and glared at Kim Yoohan.

‘…Keep talking.’

─It’s true that Sooah sunbae nim has become skilled at image management, but you’re still human. Can you really confidently say that you can be perfect every moment? Seriously?

‘Well, no.’

─You’re continuing to move into bigger waters, so wouldn’t you make a mistake at an unexpected moment? This industry is like walking on thin ice. One mistake and you fall to the bottom.

‘That’s true, but…’

─But thanks to what happened today, Sooah sunbae nim won’t be affected at all even if you make a mistake in the future. No, it might even be good if you make a mistake from time to time.

‘What?’

Sooah tilted her head.

‘Did I hear you right? You’re saying that it would be good to fail at image management from now on?’

─Yes. That’s right.

‘Why?’

─Why do you think? They’ll think that a machine that lost its emotions worked like crazy and went wrong from time to time. Rather, they’ll applaud you for being admirable for trying so hard.

That was the moment.

Snap!

Sooah heard something breaking in her head. At the same time, her head went blank. Eventually, it overloaded.

‘…’

Sooah took a moment to retrace Yoohan Sooah’s words.

‘…I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

─It means that they’ll see your barbaric side not as a flaw, but rather as a heartbreaking element to be embraced.

‘So what are you saying?’

─Haaa…

Yoohan Sooah sighed deeply.

─First, let’s go back to the conference room.

‘Huh?’

─And if you have the chance, reveal Sooah sunbae nim’s embarrassing true self.

‘What?’

Sooah jumped up.

‘A, are you crazy? I’ve been managing my image until now to hide that, right? You’re telling me to say it now?’

─That’s the only way you’ll understand what I’m saying.

That was the end of Yoohan Sooah’s words.

◈◈◈◈◈

Unexpectedly, the moment to experiment with Yoohan Sooah’s words came quickly. Right after arriving at the conference room.

Slam—

“…”

When I opened the door, the atmosphere was serious.

“I’m here.”

“Sooah, you’re here.”

Sooah felt that Kim Yi-seo’s tone had changed slightly.

Before, it felt like she thought of Sooah as difficult, but there’s a subtle difference now. A feeling mixed with a lot of worry?

“That, Sooah.”

Kim Yi-seo spoke first.

“From now on, you don’t have to force yourself to act out emotions in front of us. You may not feel it, but we cherish Sooah herself. Show us your true self.”

“I don’t have alexithymia.”

“Don’t hide it. It’s not something to be ashamed of.”

“No, I’m not hiding it, but…”

Sooah was at a loss for words at the Mystic crew’s serious eyes, and at the same time, Yoohan Sooah’s words came to mind. The advice to tell them all about her embarrassing true self.

‘Aish, fine. Let’s spit it out.’

Sooah thought that alexithymia was too far from the truth, and she also wanted to understand Yoohan Sooah’s words, so she made that decision.

“I have something to say to everyone.”

Sooah parted her lips.

“Actually, I once firmly believed that I was an arctic fox. A cute, fluffy, and adorable creature.”

“…”

The other side’s expression immediately became serious.

Sooah tried to continue.

“And I like rabbit dolls. I even played house when I was bored. I would hold one in each hand and say childish lines, or eat together when I was lonely…”

Sooah felt sweat pouring down her body.

Was I trying to clear up alexithymia and ended up saying something too embarrassing? Ah, it’s like a stupid act. Why did Yoohan Sooah tell me to say this…

But Mystic looked at each other.

“After all, I think we’re right, right?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

They’re nodding out of nowhere.

Right about what? Sooah’s gaze went blank. What, does that mean they knew all along that Sooah was pathetic?

Kim Yi-seo approached Sooah.

“Sooah, what you just said.”

“Yes.”

“In the end, those are stories of the roles you experienced in the past, right?”

“Yes?”

“Sooah has alexithymia, and it seems that she’s solving the situations she’s facing by putting on the roles she’s been acting until now. By equipping the right character at the right time.”

The one I just equipped wasn’t one of my roles, though?

It’s the life I’ve lived? Hello?

“No, no. It’s not a role, it’s me. I’m saying that’s how I’ve lived.”

“Sooah. Don’t do that.”

“Yes?”

“Even if it seems like pathetic people are accepted familiarly around them, that’s not because people like them, but because they’re easy to handle. It means that Sooah doesn’t need to make the effort to get along with us by recalling the mentally challenged and pathetic roles.”

“No, my life isn’t that mentally challenged and pathetic…”

Sooah finally realized Kim Yoohan’s words.

I understood. They had accepted Sooah as something that had lost its humanity, and they began to feel humanity when Sooah showed her savage side from time to time.

A huge dizziness arose.

“No, this is too twisted. Alexithymia is a bit…”

“You don’t have to lie.”

Sooah suddenly gave strength to her voice.

“It’s not that—!”

“See. That’s Wi Ji-hye’s tone.”

“That’s not it!”

“This is Lee Kang-cheol. After all, you’re filling yourself up based on the roles you’ve been acting. Sooah, you can trust us.”

“…”

Sooah had goosebumps.

At this point, she was confused as to whether the world was mistaken or she was mistaken. Is that so? Am I actually alexithymic?

Huh? Is that right? Am I alexithymic?

‘…’

Soon she shook her head violently.

That can’t be! Has the world gone crazy?

─The world is normal.

Yoohan Sooah said.

─Let’s retrace the path that sunbae nim has walked.

‘I came here in a van?’

There was silence for a moment.

─Now, Sooah sunbae nim is succeeding at an incredible speed. In the meantime, didn’t you play a cold and aloof human? On the contrary, even if you reveal the truth now, it won’t be persuasive.

‘Ah.’

Sooah reached the truth.

‘So… I am…’

Her friends misunderstood her as having Savant Syndrome, and Mystic misunderstood her as having alexithymia?

Neither of those is true, right?

Ah, pathetic Sooah! How did this happen!

─You should be thinking, how did I succeed this much? Isn’t it amazing that you’ve come this far hiding your savagery? I guarantee you’re the best output among savages.

─Yeah, be happy. Isn’t this situation a blessing, where everyone thinks well of you, rather than being seen as mentally challenged because no one misunderstands you? You’ve become a great actor.

It’s been a while since Special also poked his head in.

[Mentally challenged person acting so good.]

‘…’

It was then that Kim Yi-seo opened her mouth again.

“I’ve been thinking about what I can do for Sooah.”

“I don’t know what it is, but I wish you wouldn’t.”

Sooah’s attitude of giving up was quite crooked.

Sooah’s crookedness. Sooah’s emptiness. Sooah’s resignation…

“Just as Sooah sparked acting inspiration for us, we will try to teach Sooah emotions.”

“That’s right. Mystic is family, isn’t it.”

Sooah shook her head.

“No, this is a bit too wrong…”

“Alexithymia is not wrong. It’s a trace of Sooah’s effort. Let’s gradually regain our humanity.”

“…”

Sooah was convinced at this point.

No, how should I say this, really.

It seemed that there was no way to escape this misunderstanding anymore.