Chapter 243

Ｒεаｄ өｎ ΚаțЯėаđίηǵϹаϝė​

The dormitory, which I hadn’t been back to in a long time, hadn’t changed at all.

The warm and familiar scenery welcomed me.

Even the air tickling my nose felt familiar.

I really missed you, my home.

Even though I’d been away for over a month, there wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere.

It seemed Alice had been diligently taking care of things in my absence.

After glancing around the room, I immediately changed my clothes. A white T-shirt and blue dolphin pants. Sure, my legs were exposed, but it’s not like I was outside, so who cares?

On the way back to the dorm, I thought about what I should do to have some fun.

Time was limited.

But there were so many things I wanted to do.

So many that it was hard to decide.

“Should I hang myself?”

After much deliberation, I came to a conclusion.

Self-harm that causes bleeding takes too much time to clean up afterward. Alice would be back by evening at the latest. If I got caught in the middle of cleaning up, it would be hard to explain.

Breaking bones was too boring, though. I could do that secretly even when Alice was around. It’s easy to clean up, and it’s something I can only do when Alice isn’t here. I silently laughed as I pulled out the rope I’d hidden in the closet.

I hadn’t done this since I started living with Alice.

I skillfully tied the rope. It had been difficult when I first learned it from a book, but now I could do it with my eyes closed. I tied the rope tightly in an Evans knot and hung it from the ceiling.

Next, I set an alarm. Even if I passed out, the alarm would wake me up.

The preparations weren’t done yet. I walked toward the door with light steps. I locked all the locks.

This way, even if Alice came back, I could buy some time. Only one lock could be opened with a key. The rest could only be opened from the inside.

Huhu, Lucia is a meticulous and thorough person, you know.

Always preparing and preparing again, as they say.

With that, all the preparations were done… Oh, I forgot to close the curtains. I quickly covered the window with the curtains.

Phew, that was close. I almost let someone see Lucia dangling from the ceiling. Not that I’d mind that, but I don’t want any unnecessary misunderstandings.

Now, the preparations are really done.

I smiled contentedly and placed the chair in front of the rope.

When your neck is constricted, you can’t breathe. Small explosions go off in your head, and your heart races like crazy. Your limbs tremble uncontrollably, and your eyes feel like they’re about to pop out. Your ears ring, and your vision flickers. It’s horrifyingly painful. It’s a different kind of pain from stabbing or cutting yourself.

How do I know so well?

It’s from experience!

“Ehehe.”

A laugh escaped me. I climbed onto the chair with an excited expression. The height was just right, and if I kicked the chair away, I’d be dangling in the air. I took a deep breath and grabbed the rope. I double-checked that the knot was secure. If it came undone midway, it’d ruin the fun. Yep, it’s perfect.

“Then… Huh?”

Bang!

Something exploded. Startled, I turned to the source of the sound. It was the door. The door was dented, and the hinges were broken.

Huh?

As I stared dumbfounded at the shattered door, someone rushed into the room in a panic.

“Lu… Lucia?”

It was Arin.

I alternated between her trembling gaze and the rope I was holding. Arin’s eyes didn’t leave the rope.

Why had she broken the door and rushed in? I decided to think about that later. I broke out in a cold sweat as the alarm bells rang in my head.

This is bad.

◆

I awkwardly looked around.

I’d only been in another student’s dorm room once before.

The first and last time was when I visited Alice’s room at the start of the semester.

Now, I was in Arin’s room.

Arin, who had been staring at me with trembling eyes, was now pale and clenching her teeth.

After tearing the rope away with brute force, she grabbed my hand and dragged me to her room.

I could’ve resisted if I wanted to, but Arin’s expression was so desperate that I couldn’t bring myself to refuse.

I sighed inwardly. The preparations had been perfect. Who would’ve thought she’d break the door?

What’s going on? How did she know I was about to hang myself? Did she see through the window? Or did her Danger Sense warn her?

Whatever the reason, the result didn’t change.

I tried my best to stay calm.

I looked around Arin’s room as if nothing had happened.

The bookshelf on the wall was neatly filled with books. More than five swords were lined up on the desk, and a small teddy bear sat on the bed.

Was it for hugging while sleeping? For a girl’s room, it felt a bit sparse, but it was very much like Arin. Clean and meticulous.

“…”

Arin, who had brought me to her room, was staring at the floor with her head down. Her reddish-brown hair hid her face. Since she was silent, I found it hard to speak up.

…Yeah, it’s all my fault. I was too careless. Next time, I’ll do it in the bathroom. That way, even if someone breaks in, I’ll have some time to react.

No, that’s not the point right now. I glanced at Arin, wondering what to do.

The silence was heavy.

If this keeps up, I’ll suffocate.

I wasn’t even choking, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I wanted to choke, but not like this.

“Hey, Arin.”

I couldn’t take it anymore and spoke up.

I objectively reflected on my earlier actions.

I know, it looked like something that could be misunderstood.

I’d closed the curtains, locked the door.

Tied a rope to the ceiling and stood on a chair.

There’s no room for excuses.

No room for alternative interpretations.

To anyone, it looked like I was trying to kill myself.

But that’s not it. For a normal person, it would be suicide, but I’m a supernatural, right?

Plus, my ability is super regeneration. Do you think I’d die from just choking? Well, I mean, even supernaturals can die if they can’t breathe, but… anyway, it’s not what it looks like!

“I know what you’re thinking, but it’s all a misunderstanding.”

“…A misunderstanding?”

Arin slightly raised her head.

Her face was still pale and bloodless.

It seemed the shock was more than just a little.

Well, of course, if you saw your friend about to commit suicide, you’d be shocked.

“What’s… the misunderstanding?”

“Well, you see…”

I was at a loss for words at Arin’s question.

It is a misunderstanding, but how do I explain it? I can’t just confess, “Actually, Lucia is a masochist who gets excited from choking!”

Even if I told the truth, she probably wouldn’t believe me. She’d just think I’m making excuses to get out of the situation.

But if I stay silent, the misunderstanding will only deepen.

I forced a smile and tried to come up with something plausible.

“You know my supernatural ability, right? I’m not going to die from just a little choking.”

“…”

Arin had witnessed my head being cut off by Astaroth during the field training.

If I didn’t die from being decapitated, choking wouldn’t kill me, right?

“Then why were you trying to hang yourself?”

“Well… you see… I was, uh, training my ability.”

I brought up the excuse I’d used before with Frey.

I’d used training my ability as an excuse to ask Frey to hit me.

It might sound a little strange, but theoretically, there’s nothing wrong with it.

“Supernatural abilities grow stronger the more you use them, right? To train my super regeneration, I need to get hurt first…”

“…”

Arin’s lifeless eyes bore into me painfully. She didn’t seem to believe me at all. But I couldn’t back down now. If I changed my story, there’d be no turning back.

“Actually, I’ve been training my ability like this for a while now. I just kept it hidden because I didn’t want people to misunderstand.”

…Honestly, the ability training was just a side benefit. My real intention was just to enjoy it.

But outright lying made me feel a little guilty.

Still, there’s such a thing as a white lie, you know.

It’s much better to soothe my conscience with a harmless lie than to let Arin suffer from a misunderstanding.

“I get it. It definitely looked like a situation that could be misunderstood. But think about it. A regeneration user wouldn’t die from hanging, right? If I really wanted to die, I would’ve chosen a more certain method.”

“…”

What do you think, Arin?

Doesn’t it seem a little off to you?

Doesn’t it feel weird?

Someone who doesn’t die even when their head is cut off, trying to kill themselves by hanging.

Doesn’t it seem impossible for someone to do something so stupid?

“So, um, don’t tell anyone else… I don’t want to worry anyone…”

If today’s incident reached Eugene or Alice, I can’t even imagine how they’d react. There might come a day when I reveal my true feelings to those two. But today isn’t that day, and this isn’t the way.

After finishing my explanation, I glanced at Arin again.

She was just staring blankly at my face.

After a moment of silence, Arin finally spoke, her lips heavy.

“If I don’t tell anyone… will you stop doing things like that…?”

“Ah…”

I’m totally going to keep doing it.

I’m absolutely going to keep doing it.

Telling Lucia not to self-harm?

Unless Arin becomes my master and starts abusing me, I’m not going to stop.

…That’s what I wanted to say, but agreeing here is the best option, right?

“Yeah, I won’t do it anymore.”

“…Really? You promise?”

When I nodded with a smile, Arin looked at me with a sad expression.

…What am I supposed to do about this? She clearly doesn’t believe me at all.

Still, she said she wouldn’t tell anyone else, so I’m relieved for now.

This kind of misunderstanding can’t be cleared up in one go.

If there’s even the slightest suspicious circumstance, people will keep doubting.

So, what can I do? I’ll just have to take my time and gradually clear up the misunderstanding.

It’s fine. Arin’s smart. She’ll realize it was all a misunderstanding soon enough.

Until then, I’ll just have to stay sharp and be careful, right?

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
Lucia has been a little more perceptive after reading Lucille’s memories.

In the past, she would have used excuses like, “Hehehe, I fooled you well!”

But she’s still clueless.

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
Let’s see Arin’s breakdown!

It’s great really, it’s the perfect excuse to build up the bond with the side characters since the main noobs are out of commission!!

Unless we get a dumb time skip…