Chapter 222 – Lucia (5)

R̀êãd́ ̂​õǹ​ ̂K̂àt̃R̈​ëäd̀ìn̂g̈C̀ãf̈​ê

She couldn’t confirm nor deny.

Lucia was too stunned to respond to Eugene’s bold declaration.

In the end, she left without giving a proper answer.

She fled the scene as if running away.

Returning to her dorm at a near-run, Lucia sat down on her bed, dazed. She still couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Eugene had confessed. To her, of all people. 

Even though he knew she loved someone else, he had boldly declared that he would make her fall for him. 

The image of Eugene’s eyes as he spoke came to mind. Eyes as blue as the sky. A gaze as calm and clear as a lake. Eyes that resembled Yoo-seong’s, yet were distinctly his own.

“…”

Lucia tried to calm her racing heart.

She gently touched her flushed cheeks.

Her heart was pounding so hard it hurt. The sound of her heartbeat echoed in her ears.

Why was she so shaken by Eugene’s confession?

Even though she already loved someone, why was her heart swayed by someone else’s feelings?

Of course, Eugene was someone precious to Lucia. She had watched over him for the past two years. 

She had seen the immature, lacking boy grow into a hero.
She had witnessed him overcome the trials of the Four Seasons and rise as a true hero.
And she had seen him, as the Chosen One, save the world.

It was a new experience for her. When she had first met Yoo-seong, he was already almost complete. As a hero, he was only one step away from perfection, both in strength and spirit.

In contrast, Eugene had been lacking in every way. A boy whose heart had been broken by past trauma. 

Watching Eugene gradually become a hero had filled her with pride. At times, it had even made her heart swell.

But could she call that love?

No, it was more like the feelings of a teacher watching their student.

As someone who had walked the path before him, she had encouraged his growth.

As someone who had once been a saintess, she had guided the new hero on his journey.

She couldn’t call it love. It wasn’t love. And yet, her heart had been swayed. Her heart had pounded heavily. 

Lucia couldn’t understand why. And because she couldn’t, she felt even more frustrated. Why hadn’t she been able to give a proper answer and had instead run away? 

For both her sake and Eugene’s, she should have drawn a clear line. That would have been the best choice for everyone.

“I couldn’t reject him…”

She couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

Was it because she had grown fond of Eugene?

Was it because she didn’t want to see him disappointed?

Or was it because of what Eugene had said to her…

“…Ah, I see.”

Lucia smiled bitterly. The tangled threads of her thoughts began to unravel. Perhaps she had been aware of it from the beginning but had chosen to ignore it. 

The reason she had been so shaken by Eugene’s confession. It was simpler than she had thought, and that realization stung a little. 

Lucia recalled the time when she had been called Lucille. The time when she had still been the blessed saintess.

“I couldn’t do it back then.”

Eugene had boldly confessed.

He had declared that he would make her fall for him.

Even though he knew she loved someone else.

“I wanted to say that too.”

Lucia had ended up projecting herself onto Eugene.

She had seen herself in him.

When she had learned about Yoo-seong and Iris’ relationship.

When the person she loved had grown close to her closest friend.

She had chosen to turn away rather than confront it.

She had never been able to confess her feelings to Yoo-seong.

She had never once said she loved him.

Because she was afraid of ruining what they had.

Because she was terrified of being rejected.

She didn’t want to hate Iris.

She didn’t want to end up hating her.

She wanted to remain good friends until the very end.

And so, she had chosen to run away.

She had sacrificed herself to create the circulation system.

To become a wound Yoo-seong would never forget, she had disappeared before his eyes.

“If I had confessed like Eugene did…”

Would something have changed?

If I hadn’t run away and had mustered the courage…

What would have become of our relationship?

“…It’s pointless to wonder now.”

Everything had already ended, and over a hundred years had passed.

Thinking about “what ifs” now wouldn’t change anything.

What had happened couldn’t be undone, and the past wouldn’t change.

It was just a meaningless act that would only make her heart ache.

Once one answer became clear, others began to sprout up one after another. Human emotions can’t be explained by a single sentence. 

They are a mix of various reasons, which then manifest as actions. 

The reason Lucia couldn’t reject Eugene’s confession was because she had seen her past self in him. But that wasn’t the only reason.

“Projecting myself onto him like that was really rude of me.”

She had seen herself in Eugene.

At the same time, she had seen Yoo-seong in Eugene.

Yoo-seong’s descendant. Eyes as blue as Yoo-seong’s. A Chosen One like Yoo-seong.

Perhaps she had unconsciously seen Eugene as a substitute for Yoo-seong.

Just as Eugene had projected his dead sister onto Alice.

“Compensation psychology is honestly too pathetic.”

I loved someone who couldn’t love me back.

So it’s only natural that I’d feel this way.

I want to be loved too.

Having realized her true feelings, Lucia collapsed onto her bed. The frustration in her chest eased a little. 

But now, her heart felt heavy for a different reason. She had finally made up her mind. She had decided how to respond to Eugene’s confession. 

She had been happy about Eugene’s confession. Yes, that was the truth. But she couldn’t accept it.

“I need to reject him properly.”

Even if Eugene would be deeply disappointed, even if it would hurt him…

“I’m sorry, my hero.”

She believed it was the right choice. If she had completely let go of her lingering feelings for Yoo-seong, things might have been different. She might have accepted Eugene’s confession. 

But Lucia knew her own heart. How could she accept someone else’s confession when she still had lingering feelings for Yoo-seong? 

Especially when that someone was Yoo-seong’s descendant. That would only mean seeing Eugene as a substitute for Yoo-seong. It would be the worst insult to Eugene’s sincere feelings.

“And, thank you.”

For telling me you love me.

Because of you, I was able to make up my mind.

“I had planned to remain ‘Lucia’ until graduation from the academy… but yes, I can’t keep turning away anymore.”

Lucia’s hero was Eugene.

Lucille’s hero was Yoo-seong.

She was Lucia. A student at the academy. A super regenerator who had lived and fought alongside Eugene.

And yet,

She was Lucille. The blessed saintess. A pilgrim who had journeyed with Yoo-seong to save the world.

“It’s time to return to my true self.”

Lucia is also a part of her. Yes, just a “part.” 

Her essence remained unchanged—she was still Lucille. She had become Lucia to watch over Eugene, to guide him and ensure he didn’t stray down the wrong path. 

But Eugene was no longer a bud. He had already blossomed and fulfilled his mission. This meant there was no longer a reason for her to remain as Lucia.

“And now, it’s time to convey the feelings I couldn’t express back then.”

Just as Eugene had done for her.

Lucia didn’t even change into her outdoor clothes before closing her eyes. She was tired from all the thinking. 

As she lay her body on the soft bed, a drowsy feeling washed over her. 

‘Let’s sleep early today. Tomorrow will be a busy day. First, I’ll apologize to Eugene, and then I’ll wrap up my life as Lucia. 

Once everything is prepared, I’ll return to being Lucille and go to Yoo-seong. And then… I’ll confront him with all my heart. 

Even if I’m rejected. Even if it complicates our current relationship.’

“Goodnight, Lucia.”

It was a pleasant dream.

The time I spent living as Lucia.

But I can’t live forever in a dream.

Someday, I’ll have to wake up and return to my true self.

With her consciousness slowly slipping into sleep, she thought:

The last day of living as Lucia.

Starting tomorrow, her name will be…

Lucille.

◈

“And so, the God of War, Mars, has decided to establish the academy…”

A voice tickling her ears caused Lucia to open her eyes.

She looked around in confusion.

She had clearly fallen asleep in the dormitory, so why was she in the auditorium?

She wasn’t lying in bed. She was sitting in a chair.

It was a familiar place. The academy’s auditorium. On the podium, the academy’s headmaster was giving a speech. Lucia’s pupils trembled slightly. Though two years had passed and her memories had faded, she had an excellent memory. She vaguely remembered the speech the headmaster had given during the academy’s entrance ceremony.

“A dream…?”

She muttered to herself, but deep down, Lucia already knew.

It was too realistic to be dismissed as a dream. Every sensation on her skin told her this wasn’t a dream or a hallucination. Still, just in case, Lucia pinched her cheek. It hurt normally. Definitive proof that this wasn’t a dream.

“What is this?”

Students were visible. They were sitting in chairs arranged in the auditorium, just like her. Many of their faces were familiar, as she had spent two years at the academy. 

But strangely, they all looked younger, as if they had regressed in age. Lucia’s pupils trembled with an unprecedented emotion. She couldn’t make sense of it. A banner decorating the auditorium came into view. It read, “Welcome to the Entrance Ceremony.”

“The entrance ceremony…?”

That can’t be.

Lucia had enrolled two years ago.

She was about to start her third year.

She was far from being a new student attending the entrance ceremony.

But denying it didn’t change reality.

Lucia pieced together all the clues.

The headmaster’s speech, which she remembered.

The familiar students who now looked younger.

And her weakened supernatural abilities.

Lucia had grown over the past two years. She had lost most of her blessings, but she had honed the one that remained with all her might. 

Though she had initially reached her level of power effortlessly, she had worked hard to regain the strength she had lost. 

While it didn’t match her peak, she had achieved a level of power comparable to that of a top-tier captain. 

But now, that power had vanished like a mirage. The overflowing strength she had felt was gone. She had returned to the state she was in when she first entered the academy.

All these facts pointed to one truth.

“Did I… go back…?”

To two years ago.

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
The build-up is finally over.

Haha, it was really long.

Now I can write what I want to write!

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
The corruption actually begins now.