Chapter 217 – The Last Time She Could Love (3)

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When she came to her senses, she was already fleeing the scene as if being chased.

She walked quickly, hiding her presence.

As if she had done something wrong.

As if she was running away.

So that no one would notice.

So that Yoo-seong and Iris wouldn’t notice.

Once she thought she had put enough distance between them, Lucille began to run with all her might.

Her mind was a mess, and her thoughts wouldn’t connect. 

Her heart pounded loudly. She shouldn’t be tired from just running this much, but her breathing had been rough for a while now. 

Her throat hurt. It was hard to breathe. She felt overwhelmed. 

After running for what felt like an eternity, she finally reached the other side of the barrier.

Making sure no one was around, Lucille collapsed against the base of the barrier.

When did they become like that?

There had been no signs until now.

The two of them had been close. They got along well even when Amon was around, and their relationship remained good even after Amon left. 

But that was closeness as friends, not as a man and a woman. It couldn’t have been. She had thought it wasn’t. It shouldn’t have been.

“…”

Was it really not?

Only the sound of air escaping her slightly parted lips could be heard.

Her throat felt blocked. It hurt. It was rare for the blessed saintess to complain of pain. She didn’t get sick, and even if she got hurt, she healed quickly. 

But the pain didn’t stop. She wasn’t sick or injured. Her chest felt like it was being torn apart, and a ringing filled her head.

Yoo-seong was kind to everyone.

He would smile at anyone as long as they weren’t evil.

But even Yoo-seong, being human, had his distinctions.

He was especially considerate and caring toward certain people.

Lucille was one of those special people to Yoo-seong. He affectionately called her “my saintess.” Because of that, she had unconsciously thought—no, she had convinced herself—that Yoo-seong might have feelings for her too. That he was just too shy to show it, but he must have harbored affection for her.

“Was it… just my delusion…?”

Lucille muttered, covering her face with her golden hair.

Had she been lost in her own fantasies?

Had she overinterpreted Yoo-seong’s behavior?

Had she just seen what she wanted to see?

She thought of the girl with deep blue hair. Iris. 

She was also Lucille’s friend and someone precious to her. There weren’t many people Iris truly opened her heart to. 

At most, there were only four. The comrades who had journeyed together. 

Yoo-seong.
Michael.
Lucille.
Amon. 

Iris was undoubtedly a precious person. A kindred spirit. A friend she could trust with her life.

But when Lucille thought of her, her heart felt hollow.

It was as if a hole had been torn in her chest, and all her emotions were spilling out.

Lucille clutched her chest. As if trying to block a hole that wasn’t there. 

With both hands covering her chest, she bowed her head. 

It was a cold winter, with no sound of insects. Though she wasn’t affected by the external weather, for some reason, she felt unbearably cold now. So cold that she couldn’t stop her shoulders from trembling.

“I… was the one…”

Plop. Plop.

Small droplets fell to the ground.

The soil absorbed the moisture, leaving dark marks.

“I was the one who liked him first…”

A cry that no one would hear mixed into the quiet night air.

◈

After that day.

Lucille lived as if nothing had happened.

She saved people, evacuated them, and slayed monsters.

She blessed refugees suffering from mental corruption.

She prophesied monster attacks and informed her companions.

She took the lead in doing whatever she could.

Though she seemed a bit more emotional than usual, given the circumstances, no one thought it was strange. 

The situation was grim. Even the blessed saintess would naturally grow weary. Many people thought so, and Yoo-seong was no exception.

Time passed like that.

A day went by, then a week.

Before she knew it, a month had flown by in the blink of an eye.

A month. Enough time to sort out her feelings and make a decision.

“I have a plan.”

It was a gloomy day, filled with dark clouds.

The sunlight that usually caressed the earth had lost its strength.

A cold wind brushed past her hair.

Winter.

A meaningful season for Lucille.

It was the season she had first met Yoo-seong.

Lucille led Yoo-seong to a hill a short distance from the shelter.

She wanted to have a quiet conversation in a place where no one’s eyes could reach them.

To Yoo-seong, who had followed her with a puzzled expression, Lucille finally revealed the plan she had been holding onto.

“I plan to mass-produce supernaturals.”

“…What?”

“What humanity needs now isn’t a few powerful individuals. No matter how strong someone is, they only have one body. We need more supernaturals, even if they’re weaker.”

The area to protect was vast.

The number of people to protect was large.

But the number of people with the power to protect was small.

That was the fundamental reason humanity was being pushed to the brink.

Yoo-seong alone could easily wipe out a horde of monsters. Yet, the monsters’ territory continued to expand. 

Yoo-seong was strong, but he could only be in one place at a time. 

In contrast, there wasn’t just one monster. They existed in multiple places simultaneously.

“I will turn the ‘blessing’ I received from the Four Seasons… into seeds and scatter them across the world. So that they can take root in people’s bodies and sprout. If the Four Seasons won’t create supernaturals, then I will use the blessing I received from them to do it.”

“Is that… possible?”

“Of course, it’s possible. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.”

However, Lucille’s voice trailed off slightly.

“There will, of course, be side effects. If I succeed in creating a system to mass-produce supernaturals by scattering the blessing, I will lose all my powers. I will no longer be the blessed saintess. I’ll have used up all the blessings I received.”

If her plan succeeded, humanity would lose the blessed saintess.

But in return, they would gain many supernaturals.

In terms of cost and benefit, it was more than worth it.

It would solve the problem of having too few people capable of fighting.

As she said, what humanity needed now wasn’t a few strong individuals but many who could fight, even if they were weaker.

“Are you serious?”

Yoo-seong hesitated before speaking.

He had a lot to say, but he didn’t know where to start.

“Lucille. If this is truly your will, I won’t stop you. But… this is divine territory. Something only the Four Seasons can do. I can’t even begin to imagine the burden you’ll have to bear.”

To create a system that could mass-produce supernaturals, Lucille would have to shoulder an immense burden. 

Of course. Creating supernaturals—not just one, but countless. It was impossible to gauge how much backlash she would have to endure. Her body might be torn to shreds.

She bit her lip slightly.

Yoo-seong’s clear eyes wavered a little.

“How about looking for another way? No, I just said I wouldn’t stop you, but… still, there might be a better way if we look for it.”

At Yoo-seong’s worried expression, Lucille couldn’t help but smile. It was obvious what he was thinking. She found his concern endearing and silently whispered in her heart.

Thank you for worrying about me.

My beloved.

But it’s okay.

It will be okay.

Even if it’s not.

It will be okay.

“Yoo-seong.”

She called his name. There was so much she wanted to say, but she only chose a part of it to voice.

“This is the conclusion I’ve reached after much thought.”

Yes, she had agonized over it for a long time.

If she lost her power, she wouldn’t be able to fight alongside Yoo-seong anymore.

She would only be able to watch him from behind as he charged forward.

She hated that so much that she hesitated and held back.

But now, that hesitation had come to an end.

“It won’t solve everything right away.”

Even with more supernaturals, there would still be limits.

Humanity would continue to wage war against the monsters from other dimensions.

The only difference would be that they wouldn’t be pushed back helplessly anymore.

“But I’m certain it will be the first step toward a better future.”

Perhaps, in the distant future, Bael might rise again… but let’s leave that to the people of that era. 

Our generation isn’t the only special one. The next generation will inevitably give rise to new heroes. As long as humanity’s history continues, heroes will keep appearing.

“…”

Yoo-seong couldn’t bring himself to speak. He knew her words were right. Yet, his hesitation stemmed from his concern for her. Lucille felt strangely lighthearted. Her chest, which had felt so heavy, now felt incredibly light after putting down the burden.

Considering Yoo-seong’s nature, she didn’t think he would agree right away.

He would agonize over it for days before finally reaching a conclusion.

Lucille didn’t plan to wait that long.

No, she couldn’t.

Before her resolve wavered.

Before this lightness disappeared.

While she could still think of Iris as a friend.

Before her friendship turned into resentment.

Before her feelings for the beloved boy faded.

She wanted to bring it to an end.

“Actually, all the preparations are done.”

Lucille stuck out her tongue slightly and smiled brightly.

She had been preparing steadily for a month.

All that was left was the final piece.

A booster to supplement the insufficient output.

That’s why she had chosen this hill.

It was a land where a powerful spiritual vein flowed.

“Actually, this wasn’t a consultation but a notice. I just thought I should tell you before I did it.”

“Lucille…”

“Do you remember? What you said when you first came to me.”

Back when she was trapped in the invisible fence created by the church.

Yoo-seong had come to her, extended his hand, and boldly declared.

“Become my companion.“

“…How could I forget?”

“Then do you remember what I said in response?”

“You said, ‘Shall we work together? For world peace.’”

“I’ve done my best to keep that promise. So, I’ll leave the rest to you. Can I trust you?”

“…Yes.”

Now, Yoo-seong wouldn’t interfere.

After saying all this, he wouldn’t stop her, right?

If he interfered while she was creating the system, everything could be ruined.

“Then, I’ll begin.”

She took a step back from Yoo-seong.

She actually wanted to step closer.

But if she did, her carefully held resolve might crumble.

Lucille forced a smile and pulled her body back.

She clasped her hands together.

Placing her interlocked hands near her chest.

Lucille closed her eyes and began to recite a prayer.

“O gods of the Four Seasons.”

The girl you loved so dearly speaks to you.

O gods. I relinquish the blessings you bestowed upon me.

The excessive love, the excessive blessings, the excessive happiness.

I will let go of all of it.

The love was too vast for one person to monopolize.

The blessings were too heavy for one person to bear.

So, I will share that love and blessings with everyone.

Please, do not be too angry.

Like the sun hidden behind the dark clouds.

A radiant light burst forth from the blue hill.

Starting from Saintess Lucille, the winter’s chill began to fade.

A warm, benevolent light defied gravity and shot up into the sky.

Piercing through the dark clouds, it scattered sacred brilliance across the heavens.

“Lucille…?!”

Yoo-seong shouted, his voice filled with shock.

Lucille slowly opened her eyes.

She saw Yoo-seong’s expression, as shocked as his voice.

“Wait, your, your body…?!”

Lucille’s body was enveloped in light.

Starting from her extremities, her body began to dissolve into light.

Disintegrating, turning into light, and disappearing.

“Ehehe, I’m sorry.”

Lucille laughed playfully.

Her cherry-blossom-like eyes narrowed slightly.

A bright smile lingered on her lips.

“Actually, I lied about one thing.”

She had said it would end with her losing her powers.

That was a lie.

The price for creating the system was Lucille’s physical body.

“My body will disintegrate and disappear. I won’t die, but… it won’t be much different. My soul will become a high-dimensional circulation system.”

“St-stop! It’s not too late if we…”

“Yoo-seong.”

Cutting him off, Lucille shook her head.

If she had reduced the scale of the system, she might have only lost her powers.

But then, the number of supernaturals she could create would have been limited.

A few hundred, at best a few thousand.

That wouldn’t have significantly changed the situation.

So, Lucille chose. She chose to sacrifice herself.

As the blessed saintess, she chose the path to save everyone.

…If only it had been purely for such a selfless reason.

Lucille smiled bitterly.

The light that had pierced the sky disappeared, and sunlight poured through the holes in the dark clouds. 

Lucille was once again enveloped in light. Not the light she had created, but the warm sunlight from the sky. Even with her fading senses, she could feel its warmth.

There was so much she wanted to say.

So much that she didn’t know where to start.

But Lucille decided not to say any of it.

She decided to bury it all in her heart.

She didn’t want to show Yoo-seong an ugly side of herself.

So, instead of her true feelings, she only voiced a small part of what was on her mind.

“You don’t need to make that face. Meeting you made me truly happy.”

You know what?

The truth is, I made this choice because…

It was to save people, but also to leave a scar on you.

A scar that you could never forget, erase, or heal from.

I wanted to remain as that bitter wound, to be remembered forever.

“Thank you. For coming to take me away that day.”

My beloved.

I hate you so much.

For making my heart ache like this.

Why didn’t you choose me?

Why did you have to love someone else, and of all people, Iris?

“For guiding me out into the world.”

If it had been another woman, I could have resented her easily.

I could have cursed her, called her a wretched woman.

But it had to be Iris, so I couldn’t do that.

I couldn’t hate her. Because she’s my friend. Because she’s someone precious to me.

“For teaching me so much.”

But, I don’t know.

If I had to see you and Iris being affectionate even one more time.

I might have ended up hating her as much as I loved her.

Jealousy, how vulgar, right?

That’s why I’ll disappear with a smile.

While I still love both you and Iris.

While this love hasn’t turned into resentment.

I’ll fall asleep holding only good feelings.

“For showing me how beautiful the world is.”

The world with you in it is so beautiful.

I wanted to be someone special to you.

Not just a close friend, but something more.

If I couldn’t be your love, then I’d rather be a scar.

“Thank you so much.”

I’ll carve a scar into your heart.

A scar that will never heal.

Even if the wound does heal.

It will remain as a scar, tormenting you.

“My hero.”

So, don’t forget me.

Even if I disappear, don’t ever forget me.

The beautiful memories we shared.

The journeys we walked together.

Even this painful farewell.

That there was once a person named Lucille.

Every single bit of it.

Please engrave it all in your heart.

“Then, goodbye.”

I’m sorry.

Really, I’m sorry.

My beloved.

Even I think I’m being too selfish.

But still, I can’t help it.

“Be happy.”

You were my first love.

The one who stole my heart at first sight.

Can I compare you to summer?

Though, of course, you are far more lovely and gentle.

That cold winter turned into summer the moment I met you.

My heart was so hot I couldn’t think straight.

Even if I’m selfish, please forgive me.

Because this is the last time I can love you.

Goodbye, my beloved.

My one and only hero.

Please, you must be happy.

Like cherry blossoms fluttering.

Like snow melting away.

Lucille, bathed in radiant sunlight.

Disappeared from the world with a tearful smile.

Leaving only Yoo-seong behind, his expression blank.

◈

The blessed saintess offered all her blessings to humanity.

As a result, the number of people awakening to supernatural abilities began to increase exponentially.

Hope returned to humanity, which had been pushed to the brink of extinction.

Yoo-seong. The boy who would later be called the God of War, gathered the increased number of supernaturals and established the Celestial Corps. 

It was the beginning of the counterattack. 

They reclaimed the lost lands, and the United Nations, humanity’s final sanctuary, was born. 

The war continued. The monsters’ invasions were endless, and humanity resisted endlessly.

And so, time passed.

No one could stop time.

The years flowed by aimlessly.

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
It may seem like it was done because of Yoo-seong and Iris.

But Lucille’s sacrifice was inevitable.

If Lucille didn’t do it back then, all of humanity would have died except for a few people.

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
Want to bet that it was instigated by the four seasons?