Chapter 105

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To sleep comfortably, I had turned off the lights, so the interior of the ward was dim.

The deep crimson of the setting sun flowed in through the curtains, staining the white walls like painted canvases.

The drowsiness I had felt just moments ago had vanished in an instant.

I blinked my heavy eyelids, which had lost their weight and felt light.

What is she talking about all of a sudden?

Alice is asleep, and it’s just the two of us here…?

“We didn’t get a chance to talk comfortably during the day because of external issues, right?”

“Well, yeah…”

We were so busy running around, repelling monsters, and guiding civilians to safety that there was no time to spare.

In the midst of the life-threatening crisis caused by the monster invasion, there was no room for casual private conversations.

“…Frey? Do you have something you want to say to me?”

“Yes.”

“Hey, why did you lock the door?”

“I didn’t want anyone else to see. I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

Huh, something’s off.

Something feels strange.

The way she said it sounds…ominous.

She asked Alice to give us some time alone, and now she says she doesn’t want to be disturbed.

What could it be? Something she doesn’t want Alice to know?

My mind was in chaos. This was an unexpected situation, and I was a bit flustered.

I had expected Alice to visit.

After all, Alice really likes me!

At least, I can confidently say she likes me more than Eugene right now.

But I never expected Frey to come alone. If anything, I would have thought the opposite.

There’s no reason for it.

What business could Frey possibly have with me?

Of course, there might be something, but…

But she wanted to be alone with me without Alice, and she’s concerned about outside interference—

Ah.

A surge of heat welled up deep within my chest.

Without realizing it, I hugged the soft blanket tightly.

Thankfully, the room was dark.

My flushed face wouldn’t be visible.

“Isn’t it similar to back then?”

“What, what do you mean?”

“Alice is asleep, and it’s quiet around us. It’s just the two of us here.”

“…Yes, I guess?”

Frey slowly opened her palm.

She clenched and unclenched her hand several times.

Her small hand may look delicate, but I know how fierce it can be.

When she slapped my cheek, my body spun around.

With her bare hands, she could pull out teeth.

If she choked me, I couldn’t breathe, and only animalistic groans escaped.

I swallowed hard. My body reflexively reacted, heating up.

My cheeks, my mouth, the nape of my neck—they all tingled.

It felt like I had been burned.

“Am I scary?”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden? There’s no way I’d be scared of Frey.”

“Then why are you trembling?”

“That’s…”

I’m excited, that’s why.

But I can’t say that.

I hesitated, trying to find an appropriate answer.

“I’m tired… Yes, I’m tired. Today was really exhausting, wasn’t it?”

“Is that so?”

Frey nodded as if she accepted it.

But her expression remained impassive.

She lifted her hips off the chair and leaned closer to me.

Frey’s slender fingers touched my cheek.

Just a light press.

Compared to when she slapped me, this was an insignificant touch, but perhaps because my body remembered the past experience.

The small stimulus acted like a switch, bringing back the sensations of that day.

Just like when she slapped me, I instinctively shrank back.

“You’re lying.”

Frey let out a faint laugh.

“You’re scared.”

“Uh…”

“Am I scary?”

“No, no…”

That’s not a lie. Really. How could I be scared of such a cute little girl?

To be honest, Lucia isn’t really familiar with fear.

It’s rare for me to feel fear.

Violence? I really love it! I love it so much!

Insults or humiliation? Those are enjoyable, not fearful.

That doesn’t mean I’m invincible and fearless.

If I had to pick a few things…

I’m afraid of the future I know being twisted and the happy ending being ruined.

That’s why I’m trying to make things go as similar to the original story as possible.

I wish Eugene and Alice would fall in love soon.

The only other thing I’m afraid of…is pregnancy.

I hate it. I’m scared. Not joking, I’m really scared. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I don’t know why, but it terrifies me to the point where I can’t bear it.

I can endure having sex with a man. I can enjoy it.

The humiliation of being under a man, the shame that makes me want to bite my tongue—those are the best spices for me.

But pregnancy is out of the question.

Even for Lucia, there are things that are impossible.

Anyway, the conclusion is that Frey isn’t scary.

There’s no reason to be afraid, right?

Even if Frey was a man, she wouldn’t get me pregnant.

“It’s not scary…”

But I trailed off.

Lucia isn’t stupid.

Given the situation, how could I not understand Frey’s intentions?

She deliberately put Alice to sleep and brought up what happened back then.

The reason is obvious, isn’t it?

“If it’s not scary, why are you avoiding my gaze?”

Well, I’m acting this way because it makes it look like I’m scared.

Frey would find this more interesting, wouldn’t she?

Sadomasochism is about enjoying the other person’s pain and fear.

If they show they like it, it might dull the excitement.

If Frey, who finds pleasure in primal violence, doesn’t care even if the other person enjoys it… well, at least this is a minimal consideration, right?

Lucia being a masochist is still a secret.

This is a service I can only provide while it’s a secret.

“Lucia, look at me.”

“Frey, um, that…”

“Didn’t you hear me?”

Her tone was calm, but it felt oddly coercive.

Was it the atmosphere? Or was it because the situation was similar to back then?

I reluctantly met Frey’s gaze with a helpless expression.

The light of the setting sun peeking through the curtains cast a shadow on Frey’s face.

“Lucia, tell me honestly. Are you scared of me?”

What should I say?

Since she asked me to be honest, I won’t lie.

But not saying everything is also not a lie, right?

“No. I like Frey. I’m not scared. But…”

“But?”

“The situation… is similar to back then… and it feels…”

“Thanks for telling me.”

If I were to express my true feelings, this situation was quite unexpected.

I know Frey’s tendencies.

I probably understand her better than Alice, her other half.

That’s why Frey’s actions now were quite surprising.

Coming to the ward to indulge her sadistic tendencies was completely unlike her.

There are more drawbacks than benefits. What if she resorts to violence again and our relationship breaks down completely?

Back then, she had the excuse of waking Alice up, but now she has no such reason.

Did today’s events stress her out a lot?

Yes, that’s definitely possible.

She almost made a mistake that could have had serious consequences.

Although we got through it unscathed, today was filled with extremely dangerous moments.

The rift, the black knight, Astaroth, and Murmur…

Truly dangerous events occurred one after another in a short period.

The fact that Alice was almost in danger must have given Frey excessive stress.

Perhaps she was at a loss about how to deal with the accumulated stress and recalled the previous experience.

If that’s the case, then Lucia is ready to sacrifice herself.

I’ll accept anything. Yes, absolutely anything!

“I have something to say.”

“Uh, uh-huh…”

My waist twitched at Frey’s voice.

The sound of my heartbeat grew louder.

Even though I enjoyed myself so much today, I still felt this way. It was fascinating.

My head felt sticky, as if it was melting. A part of my brain that controlled reason seemed to have turned into thick liquid, rendering it useless.

The faint smell of medicine in the ward lingered at the tip of my nose. Mixed with the smell of sweat, it had a sour taste.

This feeling was similar to last time.

Like when I visited Eugene while being drugged by Regina.

Like when I talked about the wish ticket with Eugene in the infirmary.

Come to think of it, there was also the smell of medicine back then.

Am I going into heat every time I smell medicine?

I don’t mind. It’s great to get excited under specific conditions, isn’t it?

I should really create such a routine someday.

Hmm, what if I get excited when wearing a dog collar?

“Lucia.”

Frey’s face slowly approached.

Her small hand grabbed my shoulder.

It was just a light grip on my collar, but to me, it felt like a restraint.

It was like a shackle preventing me from escaping.

“Frey…?”

I called her name in a slightly trembling voice.

There was no need to act scared.

I was already trembling from excitement.

I tightly closed my eyes. We were so close that our noses almost touched.

I thought she might kiss me, but her breath headed toward my ear instead.

Frey pressed her lips to my earlobe and spoke in a clear voice.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s okay. Yes, it’s okay!

There’s nothing to be sorry for. Absolutely nothing!

If you want to do something, go ahead and do it!

Don’t think of Lucia as a person.

Think of me as a toy, a doll, livestock—anything is fine.

Consider me a punching bag to relieve stress.

Hehe, Frey is different from Eugene.

Frey wouldn’t do something as foolish as ruining a good thing!

Frey isn’t a fool!

One fool like Eugene is enough!

Yes, yes, Frey. Give me an order. Release your desires. I’ll fulfill them all, even without a wish ticket!

“I wanted to apologize for what happened last time.”

…Huh?

“I know. Apologizing now is too shameless. I gave you wounds that can’t be washed away.”

Wait? What? Huh?

What are you saying?

“I should have said this earlier, but I lacked the courage and only ran away. I’m sorry, Lucia. I’m really sorry.”

Could Frey… also be… a fool…?

 

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
Someday, I want to write a side story where Lucia isn’t a masochist and is truly terrified and trembled while begging Frey to stop.

No, I definitely will do that.

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
A non-masochistic Lucia who has to self-harm to survive does sound interesting, heh.