Chapter 90

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It was an unforgettable memory.

The tingling sensation of the palm that dyed her white and soft cheeks a vivid red.

The wet, squelching sensation in her mouth when all her teeth were forcibly pulled out.

The impulsive thrill of squeezing a delicate, slender neck with all her might.

Frey often revisited that moment in her mind.

The tears streaming down those swollen cheeks.

The futile struggles of a writhing body.

The convulsing legs. The sweat slicking the floor. The yellow discharge.

She thought about it over and over again.

Replaying it, reliving it countless times.

And with every replay, one painful truth became glaringly clear.

The more she dwelled on it, the more the enormity of her actions hit home.

At that time, she had committed an unforgivable act under the guise of doing it for Alice.

It wasn’t just about the physical violence she inflicted on Lucia.

She had claimed it was for Alice’s sake, but in truth, it was for herself.

Initially, it really had been for Alice. There was no selfish intent then.

The kiss with Lucia, the slap to her cheek—it was all for Alice.

But somewhere along the way, the purpose and means became twisted.

Perhaps there had been a warning sign from the moment her hand first struck Lucia’s cheek.

Her heart had raced. She didn’t know that her heart could pound so wildly before.

The bloodless, pale face.

The pitiable, trembling shoulders.

The tear-soaked, pink eyes.

The bloodied, sticky lips.

It had been… thrilling, Frey thought.

In the life-or-death crisis where Alice might never return, those thoughts had crossed her mind.

She was beautiful. She was adorable.

She wanted to break her more. She wanted to crush her neck.

At some point, those desires consumed her, and Frey crossed the line.

She felt sorry for Lucia.

Frey had been the one to seek help first.

Lucia had approached with goodwill, only to receive unforgivable pain in return.

It was the worst.

She was the worst.

But the real horror was that she didn’t feel all that sorry.

Her guilt was so faint that it could be blown away by the slightest breeze.

At first, she had been genuinely remorseful.

When her excitement subsided and her head cooled, Frey didn’t know what to do.

If she could’ve moved, she would’ve torn out her own hair.

She needed to apologize to Lucia. But how?

How could she face her after what she had done?

Even after learning through Alice that Lucia held no resentment, she avoided reality, unable to muster the courage to confront her.

Over time, though, her feelings began to change.

The lingering sensations on her fingertips. The tactile memories from that moment.

A growing impulse to do it again.

Her guilt gradually diluted, leaving only a sense of regret—regret that it had ended too soon.

Because it had been genuinely enjoyable.

The satisfaction and euphoria of that moment erased Frey’s sense of wrongdoing.

Just once more.

Could she do it again?

This time, she’d be better.

Choking her into unconsciousness had been premature.

Start from the extremities next time.

Maybe pull out her nails, or drive iron spikes under them.

Cutting wasn’t a bad idea either.

Sever a finger joint. Then another. And another.

Until no fingers were left.

Then the palm.

The wrist. The forearm. The elbow.

Eventually, there’d be nothing left to cut.

But humans have two arms, and four limbs altogether.

Or maybe…

Perhaps it didn’t have to be physical.

What about humiliation? Psychological degradation?

The mere thought made her entire body tingle.

No, no—Alice controlled their body, so these were just impulses of her mind.

They were primal instincts that she had long repressed.

A shameful secret she was supposed to keep buried.

‘…I’ve been found out.’

But she’d already been exposed.

Not to just anyone, but to Alice.

The one person she most wanted to hide it from.

That was why Frey retreated so deeply into herself, refusing to speak of it.

Alice had discovered her violent nature.

Frey had tried so hard to keep it hidden, especially from Alice.

Now, how was she supposed to face her? What was she supposed to say?

It was harder than facing Lucia, the victim herself.

Frey wanted to hide forever.

What if Alice hated her? Despised her?

…She knew. Alice was kind.

So kind, it was hard to believe they were two sides of the same person.

Alice would surely understand. She’d accept it. She might even feel sorry for Frey.

Even so, Frey couldn’t bring herself to face her.

She had often felt frustrated by Alice’s timid nature, but now that she was in the same position, she fully understood.

That trembling, fearful effort to overcome it—it made sense now.

Frey had always told Alice to be bold, but now, here she was, retreating.

She had trapped herself within her own mind.

Then one day, while lost in this paralysis, Alice saw something.

And since Frey saw the world through Alice’s eyes, she witnessed it too.

The infirmary. Lucia and Eugene, alone together.

Lucia, hugging him from behind.

‘No.’

A cry from within Alice.

But was it really Alice’s voice alone?

The unease from her other half resonated deeply.

And in it, Frey’s own feelings were mixed.

Why? What’s going on?

What kind of relationship do they have?

Are they dating? Do they like each other?

…But whatever their relationship, what did it have to do with her?

Lucia had the freedom to associate with anyone she wanted. Frey had no right to interfere. Sure, she could care because Lucia was Alice’s close friend. But that was it. There was no reason or authority to meddle in Lucia’s personal relationships.

‘I don’t like this.’

Still, Frey felt sour.

For some reason, irritation swelled inside her.

Just seeing Eugene and Lucia getting along annoyed her.

‘She’s mine…’

The unconscious thought startled her.

Mine? It was as though she was treating Lucia as an object.

Yet, upon reflection, there was no other way to describe her current feelings.

It felt like a child having their toy taken away.

‘What is Lucia to me?’

If she was a trustworthy friend to Alice, then what was she to Frey?

She couldn’t answer her own question.

Time passed once more.

Lucia asked that man on a date. Alice grew anxious, worried she might lose Lucia. Was her own uneasiness also born from Alice’s emotions? Or was it her own feelings influencing Alice?

Lucia suggested Alice join them, and Alice was overjoyed. Was I happy too?

What should have been a peaceful outing on their day off was disrupted.

That woman appeared again, masked like last time.

Lucia was left battered and bloodied.

In the unexpected chaos, Frey had no choice but to break her long silence.

After pulling Alice’s shocked consciousness inward, Frey took control of the body. It was a bit forceful, but she judged herself more capable of handling the situation. Frey was far more skilled in combat than Alice.

“Frey, let’s go!”

“…You knew I was Frey?”

“You’re easy to recognize.”

“Hmph, I suppose so.”

Lucia recognized her immediately. It would be strange if she didn’t. Alice and Frey were completely different in speech, mannerisms, and personality, despite sharing the same body. Although it was expected, Frey felt slightly pleased.

She worked tirelessly to help Lucia rescue people.

Fight adequately, then fall back when the Celestial Corps arrives.

There was no intention of risking her life. If things got dangerous, her plan was to escape with Lucia.

She hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

“…The fire… stopped.”

“What?”

Frey suggested a retreat, but Lucia thought otherwise.

She stared at one spot, her pupils trembling.

“…This doesn’t feel right.”

Frey belatedly noticed the anomaly.

The brilliant flames that once ignited the sky had vanished.

It was that man’s supernatural ability. It was gone.

Perhaps he’d exhausted himself after overusing such a potent ability.

Frey dismissed it indifferently. She wasn’t kind enough to worry about a stranger when their own lives were at stake.

“Something’s happened. I need to check it out.”

“…You going there will be no help, only a hindrance. You’re weak.”

“You’re right.”

Lucia wasn’t as calm as Frey. Of course, she wasn’t.

Frey spoke harshly on purpose. What could someone weaker than Eugene do? If she didn’t trip over her own feet, it’d be a miracle. It would be better not to go at all.

“If Eugene is in danger, I might not be much help, but…”

Lucia seemed to understand that as well.

Even knowing this, she offered a bitter smile.

“Eugene is alone right now. Someone needs to be there to help him.”

…An inexplicable irritation boiled in Frey’s chest.

Just like when she’d caught them embracing in the infirmary.

“Lucia, I understand how you feel, but it’s too dangerous.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Tch!

“Do you think I’m talking about someone else?! Think about it! Just because you’ve survived with your neck sliced and your body halved doesn’t mean you’re truly immortal. Don’t fool yourself… You recover quickly and are hard to kill, but you’re not invincible!”

Frey shouted with her heart, but Lucia just laughed.

‘Does this woman have nothing in her head? What’s so funny?’

“Can’t you see what’s going on?! We’ve passed the point where we can do anything. It’s not about evacuating people anymore; we need to evacuate!”

“Then what about Eugene?”

“He’s much better off than you. At least he has the strength to fend for himself. Didn’t he fight a high rank monster? Someone with that kind of power can take care of himself.”

She meant it. As much as she hated to admit it, Eugene was strong. Strong enough to face a high rank monster. He could rival active heroes, maybe even veterans. He was the best among the academy’s first years, and possibly the strongest across all grades.

Frey’s power had grown alongside Alice’s improving supernatural ability, but could she beat Eugene? Even she couldn’t say for sure.

“I’m sorry. And thank you for worrying about me.”

Lucia gave a sheepish smile.

The way she scratched her cheek annoyed Frey immensely.

Frey seriously considered breaking her limbs and carrying her away.

With her super regeneration, it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t leave a mark.

“Did you even hear what I said?! Or are you so eager to throw your life away?”

“Even if it’s dangerous, I have to go. Even if something happens to me. It’s better for me to get hurt than for Eugene to.”

Frey couldn’t respond.

Lucia’s words reminded her of the field training incident. Back then, Lucia had thrown herself in front of a surprise attack by the high rank monster. Was it because of her super regeneration? Or was it her self-sacrificial nature?

If it was Lucia, it was probably the latter. She was the kind of naive woman who could easily forgive even Frey, despite the brutal way Frey had attacked her.

But was it really just that? A self-sacrificing spirit to save others? Would she have acted the same even if it wasn’t Eugene? What exactly was Eugene to Lucia? 

In the infirmary, they’d embraced so warmly. On their day off, they’d gone out for a walk together. And now…

“You… Is that guy really that important to you?”

The question slipped out before Frey realized what she was saying. She hurriedly shut her mouth, aware of how blatant it sounded. She hadn’t meant to ask so directly, but her frustration had boiled over, forcing the words out.

Lucia blinked, surprised by Frey’s unintended question.

After tapping her chin thoughtfully with her finger, she smiled brightly.

“Yes, he’s important. As a friend.”

“…”

…Why emphasize the word ‘friend’ like that?

It only made it sound less like a simple friendship.

More like something closer. More intimate.

“Eugene is my second most precious friend after Alice. That’s why I want to help him.”

This time, it was Frey’s turn to fall silent.

Several words bubbled up to her throat, but they remained trapped behind her lips, refusing to escape.

“…I see. Alright.”

That was all she could manage.

Finally, the question Frey had been pondering—what Eugene meant to Lucia—was answered.

She wasn’t happy about it. In fact, it was deeply unpleasant.

Her second most precious friend after Alice?

Did Lucia even understand what she was implying? She should, but if her head was filled with flowers, maybe she didn’t.

Alice was a woman.

Eugene, on the other hand, was a man.

The subtle but unmistakable difference between same-gender friendships and cross-gender friendships carried a wealth of meaning.

“I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll go with you.”

Frey declared coldly, her red eyes glinting sharply.

She thought Lucia might like Eugene.

That realization filled her with an unbearable sense of displeasure.

Like having a cherished doll snatched away by someone else

 

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
Frey is very possessive

In fact, she briefly considered taming Lucia.

Fortunately, there’s a safety device called Alice.

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
The power of misunderstandings, heh.