Chapter 34: When to Stop

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“…”

When she opened her eyes, she saw a familiar ceiling.

They say humans are surprisingly hard to kill.

She tilted her head slightly and saw her left arm wrapped tightly in bandages. Her whole body creaked and groaned, but she was alive.

As she marveled at this, the door to the orphanage’s private room slammed open.

Another gasp escaped her, this one mixed with multiple emotions.

She was amazed that someone could express “I’m furious” so vividly with their entire body. And she was relieved to see him unharmed, without a single scratch.

“Tommy! You’re safe!”

“…”

But above all, she was happy. She spoke with all her heart, but the other person remained silent.

Riley was holding a water bottle. When his eyes met Sugar’s, his blue eyes widened, and he almost dropped the bottle before tightening his grip. His brow furrowed even more.

He stomped over and slammed the bottle onto the bedside table with a loud thud, as if he wanted to break something.

“Are you okay? What happened to that monster? How did you escape—”

“I told you, didn’t I?”

He cut her off, his voice sharp and forceful.

“…Tommy?”

“Don’t act all high and mighty just because you can use a little magic. You can’t even use proper magic.”

“…”

His gaze was piercing. His tone was cold, leaving no room for small talk or pleasantries.

Sugar closed her mouth and quietly bowed her head.

“You’re the one who said to trust you and wait. But… this… this mess…”

His glare was so intense that she subtly hid her left arm under the blanket. Riley let out a bitter laugh.

“Do you know you almost died?”

“Ah… well…”

She had no words.

She understood why he was so angry.

If she were in his position, she would’ve been furious too.

“What were you thinking, blocking the way for me?”

“I just thought I had to save you…”

“That’s the problem. What are you? You have no power. You think just because you can pull off a few childish tricks, you can handle something like this?”

He flung a piece of paper at her. She caught it and saw it was the request form. He must’ve noticed she had it tucked away.

“This kind of thing is for people who have proper weapons and know how to use their strength. But you… you can’t do anything.”

Listening to him, she felt a spark of irritation.

She knew she was lacking in ability. That’s why she was so grateful to him for guiding her, and why she wanted to express that gratitude by taking on requests.

She even avoided difficult requests because she knew her limits.

What happened that day was just an unexpected variable, but hearing him talk like this still hurt her feelings.

She was about to retort when—

“You didn’t even consult me…”

His muttered words, filled with disappointment, made her feel nothing but guilt.

“…I’m sorry, Tommy.”

“…”

Riley turned away sharply.

“Forget it… It’s… my fault…”

He walked out of the room without another word.

“Hey, Tommy… Sugar’s fine… uh… uh…?”

Outside the door, Praline’s voice could be heard.

Soon after, the door opened slightly, and the quiet girl slipped in.

“Sugar…! You’re awake!”

“Yeah.”

“I was so worried… They said you fell from a tall tree…”

“Ah… yeah…”

They must’ve made up some excuse.

That thought made her chest tighten even more.

How did he feel when he brought her back and had to make up a story?

“At least you could’ve asked if I was okay…”

“Su… Sugar?”

“Just talking to myself.”

She bit her lip and glared at the door Riley had left through.

Then, feeling like she was being petty, she let out a long sigh.

“I need to apologize properly…”

“Uh… did you two fight?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh…”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

Praline glanced around nervously before fidgeting with her hands and speaking up.

“Is… is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, it’s fine… actually.”

“Huh?”

An idea suddenly came to her.

“Actually, can you help me?”

A small smile crept onto Sugar’s lips.

“I hurt her…”

That day, going easy on her was the problem.

The day he realized Sugar was doing something at night.

He should’ve been harsher.

As her mentor, he should’ve been more firm.

Regret filled him as he lay curled up in the attic.

He was boiling with anger, but it wasn’t entirely directed at Sugar. Sure, it was annoying that she went off doing dangerous things without consulting him, but that wasn’t the main issue.

The root cause was self-loathing.

It was his own inadequacy that caused this.

That moment. The moment the monster’s fist came flying.

If he had just pulled out his grimoire, it would’ve been over in an instant. But he couldn’t.

Because if Sugar saw it.

If she found out about the grimoire…

“…”

A book filled with the breath of living beings was forbidden. Merely possessing it was a crime.

If caught, it’s a heresy verdict. You’ll become a fugitive hunted by the Holy Knights.

That’s why it’s better if no one knows. The risks are too high.

As the owner of the grimoire, hemust move forward, and there should be no obstacles—

“This is just an excuse…”

Right, let’s confront what hefeared the most.

Above all, what he dreaded was seeing fear in Sugar’s eyes.

Sugar, who hated heretics. Most people naturally fear and avoid heretics anyway.

If the one who was always like sunshine to him suddenly stopped shining. If that light no longer showed, and instead there was only darkness, he didn’t think she could bear it.

That fear made him hesitate for a split second before pulling out the grimoire.

As a result, Sugar pushed him aside and took the attack instead, getting injured. If it hadn’t been her arm but her abdomen, she might have died.

Just the thought made his heart drop.

‘Why did that monster have to appear…? Why did she take that request on that day…?’

After Sugar collapsed, he immediately dealt with the giant monster. It wasn’t even difficult, which made him even angrier. All of this happened because he hesitated for a moment.

Even as he blamed the world, the arrow ultimately pointed back at himself. After all, without the grimoire, he was powerless, and he couldn’t protect Sugar when he should have.

“…”

It seemed like it was time to stop playing childish games.

He thought that if he could awaken magic in Sugar, he  might feel like he had accomplished something.

That maybe, even without the grimoire, he could become a recognized mage. However it was all just self-comfort.

In reality, he was nothing, not even worthy of being called a mage.

he hadn’t changed from that powerless boy in the past. He couldn’t even protect one girl.

‘It’s better to have no one by my side…’

If his heart wavers this much just because Sugar got hurt a little, then with this fragile heart, he’ll never achieve her dream of gaining everyone’s recognition.

It seems he got addicted to the warmth of the sunlight. This isn’t it, and that isn’t it either. He wants to become stronger, but he can’t bring herself to be ruthless.

Even when he tries to harbor a little bit of malice, his half-hearted honesty gets in the way.

The answer became clear.

If Sugar stays by his side, he can’t rise to the top.

To reach the summit, he needs to step on others and climb higher, but Sugar keeps preventing him from doing so.

Because that girl keeps tugging at his heart. Stabbing his conscience, making him worry, weakening him, making him cautious.

If he doesn’t like it, what he needs to do is clear.

It’s an extremely simple task.

.

.

.

Back in the private room he visited again.

He knocked and opened the door. It was quiet.

“Hey… are you asleep?”

It looked like the blanket was pulled all the way over the head.

Riley approached quietly.

“…You’re not asleep.”

The blanket kept trembling. It seemed like Sugar was awake.

He stood by the bed.

“I just… came to say I’m s-s-s-sorry for getting mad earlier. I think I went too far…”

“…”

No answer, just the blanket trembling.

“And also…”

I’m going away for a while.

The words wouldn’t come out, so she closed her mouth.

He had decided to leave this place.

He hadn’t decided where to go, but just like when he left her hometown, he’d wander wherever his feet took him.

Since Sugar was the cause of his weakening heart, distancing himself from that cause would solve everything.

The sooner he acted, the better. The longer he stayed, the harder it would be to leave.

Yet, the words wouldn’t come out. He knew Sugar would worry if he suddenly disappeared, so he wanted to at least say goodbye.

He even brought a gift. An accessory he had seen at a store before. He earned the money in a similar way to Sugar.

With that money, he went to the store and asked them to wrap it with her flushed cheeks.

He had been waiting for the right moment to give it.

It would be a waste to throw it away, so it was perfect as a farewell gift.

Even in this situation, the inside of the blanket kept trembling. No response, just occasional hiccup-like sounds.

“…”

Something felt ominous. Sleep-talking? Does sleep-talking sound this strange?

Could it be a seizure? If so, she shouldn’t be standing here.

Riley quickly pulled the blanket away.

And the friend he saw was not the one he expected.

“What the…”

“Ah… um…”

“Why are you here? Where did she go?”

“W-well… she had something to do… s-she asked me to stay in her place…”

It wasn’t the white-haired girl, but a navy-haired girl named Praline, trembling as she answered.

“Something to do? She went out?”

“Y-yes…”

“So, in that state, she went out to wander around again?”

Seeing the girl nod slightly, Riley felt like the veins in his neck would burst.