Chapter 24: Then Who Should I Trust?

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“Alright. Let’s start with a hug.”

As soon as she reached out, he reflexively pushed her away. His gaze was sharp.

“…Don’t joke around. I’m being serious.”

“I’m serious too. That’s the conclusion I came to after thinking about it.”

“Liar! You always act like that and then suddenly change your expression and start joking around…!”

“Not this time. Really.”

“Then just answer me! Why are you trying to hug me?!”

Suddenly, a conversation from the past flashed through Riley’s mind.

-Why do you just hug people out of nowhere?!

-Because… you looked so down.

When he looked at Sugar, she spoke with an expression of utmost sincerity.

“Because you looked sad.”

“…”

“Before answering your question, I wanted to comfort you first.”

As she spoke, she reached out and took his hand.

Just like that day in the café, just like that day in the factory, her hand was warm and soft. Once she held it, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away.

“And I’m the one who’s curious. Why are you asking that question?”

“…It’s just weird. You take my words so seriously, even though there’s no reason to trust me. You even risk your life. You commit crimes that could get you in huge trouble.”

“Crimes…”

Property damage and trespassing—yeah, that could get her in big trouble.

“And earlier… you know how dangerous that was, right? Why did you go that far to protect me? Why? I don’t get it…”

What reason do you have to trust me so blindly? Someone you’ve only known for a few months. Someone who can’t give you any guarantees.

Watching her blindly follow him reminded him of his past self, and it felt foolish.

The past where he endured and endured, throwing himself into false hope, not realizing it was strangling him until it led to disaster.

That memory kept resurfacing, and it made him uncomfortable.

Why throw yourself into a hypothesis?

Why follow so blindly?

Why did you stand up to that woman you were so afraid of and protect someone like me?

Why do you value me so much? Why do you trust me?

When he asked her sincerely, Sugar just tilted her head in confusion.

“I don’t know why you’re asking that.”

Even though he had explained it all, it didn’t seem to get through to her. The boy gritted his teeth.

But what she said next was the complete opposite.

“If I don’t trust you, then who should I trust?”

She looked at him with wide eyes, as if she genuinely didn’t understand.

Sugar thought back to her first meeting with the boy.

At first, he was just a friend she kept around because she was lonely.

But after finding out he could use magic, he became someone she relied on. He was the hand she held onto to change the future of being captured by the church. He was like hope itself.

To Sugar, there was no one else but him.

He was the one who succeeded in the plan, even when she was desperate enough to risk her life.

He pulled off something that even an experienced adult mage would struggle with. He said he wasn’t a skilled mage, but she wasn’t so sure.

And even after that, he continued to prove himself reliable.

She knew how much effort he put into teaching her, even though he grumbled and acted like he didn’t want to.

In a world where all sorts of forces are scheming for their own gain, if she couldn’t trust this boy, then who could she trust?

“I trust you the most. Of course, I trust Praline, and Amy, and Roy, and I have many friends I trust. But you’re the best! That will never change.”

You’re my best friend! —It was a declaration of friendship, free of any lies.

As she spoke, her cheeks turned slightly red, as if she was a little embarrassed, but her sincerity was clear. She squeezed his hand gently.

“Oh, and just in case, this is a secret. Don’t go telling the others and making them jealous.”

Her awkward smile made her look like a mischievous kid.

She hoped her hidden sincerity would reach him. She hoped the warmth from her hand would convey her feelings.

The boy’s head was still lowered, so she couldn’t see his expression, but she secretly hoped he felt the same way.

But when he still didn’t respond…

“…Tommy?”

She leaned in closer to check, and his expression was hard to describe.

Wide eyes. Clenched teeth. His empty gaze seemed to be looking not at the floor, but at something even deeper, more hollow.

As if he was afraid of something.

“What if… I…”

He spoke slowly, as if forcing out words that were hard to say.

“Have you ever thought… that I might… hurt you?”

Riley swallowed his true feelings as he spoke.

That I once thought about killing you, who trusts me so much.

That I could betray your trust at any moment.

That I could do it in the blink of an eye, even now.

Just like my mother did that day. Like the family, the slum, and everything I learned from them taught me.

That I could hurt you.

“—Of course not!”

“…”

He just gripped the hem of his pants. His fists were clenched so tightly that the fabric wrinkled.

This sunny girl was so radiant that he couldn’t dare to do anything to her.

Riley simply couldn’t say anything and hung his head low.

He stayed like that for a while.

Sugar, who had been watching him intently, spoke in a calm, almost cold voice.

“But the fact that you asked that… means you’ve thought about it, right? You’re going to get scolded for this.”

“…!”

His heart turned cold.

Her gaze was terrifying.

The eyes he always thought were beautiful were now the last thing he wanted to see. He didn’t want her to look at him. It felt like she was seeing right through him, like all his secrets were being exposed.

Feeling as if his inner thoughts were laid bare, Riley closed his eyes. He was too scared of what might happen next to keep looking.

He didn’t want to be rejected by her, of all people.

Please, please, but the reason he asked this question was because the guilt was eating him alive. He felt like he couldn’t hide anything from that smile.

And so, the ambiguously bad, ambiguously honest 11-year-old boy was punished.

A gentle hand brushed his bangs aside. He could feel her face getting closer.

What was she trying to do? The boy trembled, his eyes still closed.

Then something soft and warm touched him and quickly pulled away.

-Mwah.

“…?”

It was an unfamiliar sensation.

Confused, he slowly opened his eyes to see Sugar’s pink lips curling shyly.

“Punishment.”

She said it so adorably.

The punishment was the soft, wet touch on his forehead.

Realizing what had happened, Riley’s face turned bright red.

“Wh-wha, wha, wha—”

Immediately, she gently hugged the malfunctioning boy. Like a spring breeze, it was light and warm.

A sweet scent. A warmth like sunlight.

These were the things he felt in her small embrace. The sensation was deeply imprinted in his mind.

The memories of hurt faded, and all that remained was comfort.

His racing heartbeat slowly returned to normal, and the tightness in his chest melted away.

“…You’re being so quiet.”

She patted his back and spoke softly, but he pretended not to hear and buried himself deeper into her embrace. Hiding just his head didn’t really count as hiding, but he did it anyway.

He just wanted to. In this world, he wanted to hide. He wanted to hide his embarrassment. He wanted to hide his feelings.

He wanted to be with her even more.

A beam of light from the attic window shone on them.

When he lifted his head slightly, he saw Sugar’s cheeks tinged with a faint blush as she smiled.

He remembered the sight of her at the factory. Her pale face, bathed in moonlight, exuding a sense of solemnity.

That was nice too, but this was better.

As he vaguely recalled that memory, he felt embarrassed and buried his face again.

Her laughter, mixed with the ticklish sensation, echoed in his ears like a lullaby.

Such a pleasant whisper.

“Tommy. I can’t explain it in detail, but… I think there are going to be a lot of hardships ahead. While I was trying to find a way to escape, you came along like magic. Literally, like magic.”

“…”

“At first, I had no choice but to trust you because there was no one else. You were the only one who could help me. But as things succeeded, my trust in you grew… and it became genuine. Your hypotheses were correct, your plans succeeded, you studied hard, you worked hard, you helped me even while acting like you didn’t want to…”

“I…”

“I know the you who helped me.”

“No…”

“I know the you who tried so hard to help me.”

“No…”

“How could I not trust that you?”

Sugar didn’t know what had happened to this friend of hers.

Endless thirst for knowledge, magical knowledge, and occasional displays of instability.

She could only guess that he had gone through something significant in the past.

In a faded neighborhood, sad things happen without anyone batting an eye. Even those who grow up with love can find themselves deprived of warmth, left with nothing but what’s taken away.

The idea that he might harm her was likely just a wild, impulsive thought born from his past experiences.

To this friend, to the boy who had helped her, she wanted to extend even a small hand. She wanted to offer warmth, person to person, alive and vivid.

The kindness that books couldn’t teach. The warmth that only people could provide.

She hoped it would guide this scarred child.

“That’s why I protected you from Louveci earlier. Because I want to help you, who helps me. I want to protect you… Do you understand my feelings now?”

And so, she kissed his forehead and hugged him.

As she held him, the boy in her arms squirmed.

“…I can’t breathe.”

No answer, just a grumble. She loosened her grip, and he jumped out of her embrace.

After a moment, he muttered, “I don’t know…” and she smiled contentedly. But then a thought struck her. She had forgotten something while answering his question.

“Oh! And!”

“…What?”

“Your blond hair. It’s a really nice color.”

“…”

“It’s a great color. It’s so shiny. Even if you dye it, I’ll support you. It’ll suit you. What I said earlier, just take it as me being petty, and whatever your preference is—”

“Enough.”

He cut off her rambling and stood up. Pretending nothing happened, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve and turned away.

“Whatever your preference is. It’s none of my business.”

It really wasn’t.

Someday, when he no longer had to cover his hair with dirt. When he could show her his radiant golden hair, inherited from his stunningly beautiful mother, and shut her up about her preferences.

Riley spoke curtly as he descended the attic stairs. His earlier gloom had vanished, and he was back to his usual self.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“The reception room. Aren’t we fixing the wall?”

“Ah.”

Chastised, Sugar quickly followed him down. If the director caught them, it would be the end. Starving them for a day would be the least of their worries.

The two walked side by side, their steps quick to avoid being caught.

One of them smiled faintly, while the other quickly turned his head away.

The underground sewer, where human waste and all sorts of filth flowed.

Such places were always home to monsters.

On a pitch-black night, someone had ventured into this dangerous sewer.

A small boy with his hood pulled up.

He opened the grimoire in his hand and chanted a spell. Countless spikes materialized in the air, sweeping through the sewer. One by one, the black, slimy monsters fell.

Soon, new letters began to appear in the grimoire.

The lives of monsters could also fuel the grimoire’s deciphering. But the efficiency was abysmal—dozens of monsters were needed to fill a single letter. It was just a guess, but perhaps the grimoire disliked monsters because they shared similar properties.

After catching his breath, Riley checked his surroundings for more monsters and moved on.

To overcome his inferiority complex, he needed to earn people’s recognition.

To earn recognition, he needed to become a powerful and respected mage.

To do that, he needed to decipher the grimoire quickly, and to do that, he needed to kill—the most efficient method.

His first target had been Sugar. But now, he couldn’t bring himself to kill her.

Would he harm someone else?

He couldn’t answer. If he did something like that, he wouldn’t be able to face Sugar.

He couldn’t do this, couldn’t do that. It felt like his insides were burning.

Ever since he’d been with Sugar, it had been like this. She toyed with his heart.

He had planned to kill her, but now he couldn’t. Instead, he wanted to protect her, to know her better.

Today, he was still teetering on the edge.

One step forward, and he’d be outside. One step back, and he’d be inside.

He couldn’t stay on this boundary forever. He needed to make a decision.

But he was afraid to decide. Escaping reality with this strange girl was too sweet.

Instead, he had chosen to hunt monsters. It robbed him of sleep, drained his magic, and was incredibly inefficient, but it was better than doing nothing.

It was like giving himself a grace period. He needed more time to think, to decide.

‘In the end, this is just a half-hearted choice…’

He sighed.

Trying to forget his gloom, he thought back to the events of the day. Even in this place where filth flowed, he could vividly recall her sweet scent. It was a warmth completely different from the damp, dark surroundings.

Then, a wish suddenly came to him.

He wanted to grow up quickly. He was always the one being comforted in Sugar’s arms.

Someday, when he was an adult, he would—

‘—What are you thinking?! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?!’

Engaging in a self-deprecating monologue that would make anyone wince, he channeled his anger into chanting a spell.

Though Riley judged himself to be stuck in a liminal space, neither here nor there…

He didn’t realize that the direction he was walking was steadily leaning toward the inside of that boundary.