Chapter 30 – A Knock in the Night

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“I want to become a better person…”

I want to become someone who can live up to Sister Andreina’s expectations and encouragement.

But instead of striving for that, I felt burdened by her support.

I even imagined that if I failed to meet her expectations, Sister Andreina might be disappointed and leave me.

“I know it’s pointless to think like this, even without you telling me.”

Avoiding Doll 505’s reproachful gaze, I slumped onto the dining table.

I’ve only known Sister Andreina for a little over a month, but I know very well that she’s not the type of person to do something like that.

If she were that kind of person, she would have kicked me out long ago. So, all of this was just my own anxiety making me imagine ridiculous things.

“Ugh… If only I were a child who matched my current appearance…!”

If I had the mentality of a 10-year-old, or at most 12, I wouldn’t be having these gloomy thoughts. Instead, I’d be happily basking in Sister Andreina’s praise.

If you’re going to make my body younger, why not make my mind younger too!

As I vented my frustration internally, a sudden thought made me lift my head.

“But if my mind had also become younger, wouldn’t I have been unable to live alone?”

Even when I was 10, I had my own room, but I often slept with my parents.

Sleeping alone in my room was too scary at night. Plus, it was around the time when I bragged to other kids about how well I could handle scary or horrifying things. But when I closed my eyes alone in bed, those images would pop up on their own, making my heart race.

So, I would crawl into my parents’ bed, hugging my pillow, and fall asleep feeling their warmth. That way, the scary or horrifying things wouldn’t come to mind.

Anyway, given that, it’s clear I wouldn’t have been able to sleep alone here. At first, surrounded by strangers, I might have managed for a few days, but I would have quickly reached my limit.

If I thought about who could help me in such a situation, only one person came to mind. Without a doubt, it was Sister Andreina. She would surely embrace me, a child anxious in an unfamiliar environment surrounded by unfamiliar people, with her benevolent smile.

Perhaps, unlike now, I might have even lived and slept at the cathedral with Sister Andreina.

After all, not long after I was resurrected, Sister Andreina had offered to let me stay at the cathedral.

Of course, since I wasn’t a child and receiving that much help would have been too much of a burden, we compromised by having one meal together a day… But if I were truly a child, it would have been different. I would have definitely chosen to live with Sister Andreina.

“…Wait, does that mean I’d be with Sister Andreina every day?”

‘What’s this? I’m not jealous.’ I muttered while clutching my head.

Eating every meal with Sister Andreina (which I already do), sleeping in the same bed every night, and maybe even bathing together…? No, it wasn’t entirely impossible.

Now, I avoid it because I’m older, but if I were 10, I wouldn’t even know about things like “boys and girls shouldn’t sit together after seven.” If Sister Andreina suggested it, I would have nodded without a second thought…!

Damn, I’m jealous. No, that’s not it. What am I even thinking about Sister Andreina?!

“This is impure… too impure…!”

As I thrashed my legs on the dining table, trying to shake off these blasphemous thoughts, Doll 505, shaken by my movements, fell onto my head.

Thud.

“Ouch?!”

Even though I had molded it like clay when I made it, Doll 505 was still a doll made of solid wood.

Having such a thing fall directly onto my head was a blinding pain. I clutched the spot and glared at Doll 505 with a tearful voice.

“Ugh…! You stupid doll! How dare you attack your owner?!”

Since I hadn’t braced myself at all, it hurt several times more than it should have.

Even as I raged and vented my frustration, Doll 505 lay motionless on the table.

“Even when your owner is this angry, you just lie there and ignore me?!”

Well, of course. It’s a doll. What could it do without the mana thread connected?

If Doll 505 had a sense of self, it would have protested that my anger was unjust.

But strictly speaking, the fact that I had been attacked by Doll 505 was undeniable, so my anger wasn’t entirely unjust.

If anyone has an objection to my judgment, raise your hand now and voice your objection. If you’re a ‘person’, that is.

‘This trash—’

For some reason, I felt like I heard a resentful voice from Doll 505, but anyway.

A doll that attacks its owner deserves proper punishment.

I grabbed Doll 505 and shouted.

“Traitors must be purged—!”

I opened my inventory and shoved Doll 505 into a corner, then wiped my dry forehead with the back of my hand, wearing a satisfied expression.

It was a sight I could never show others, but acting so exaggeratedly like this made me feel like the frustration in my heart had been released.

Sometimes, people need to act childish. That’s how you avoid worries and anxieties.

Anyway, I had successfully vented my anxiety using Doll 505 today.

I spun around energetically and shouted.

“I should take a bath and go to bed!”

Adding a bath to this refreshed feeling would make for a perfect night’s sleep.

I felt like I could sleep deeply without any dreams tonight. Humming happily, I was about to head to the bathroom when—

Knock knock.

“…Huh?”

At the sudden knocking sound, I thought I was hearing things. But soon, another knock knock came, and I stiffened, staring at the door.

There was no follow-up voice. Instead of the usual “Is anyone home?” or “Hello?” there was only an uncomfortable silence.

And then I realized I hadn’t locked the door. I bit my lip.

My habit of not properly locking the door was coming back to haunt me. I swore to myself that I would really, really lock the door properly next time. Holding my breath, I slowly approached the door.

Of course, if someone was determined to come in, even a locked wooden door wouldn’t stop them, as Hosanna had shown.

But there was a huge difference between a locked and an unlocked door.

At the very least, it would give me some peace of mind.

I successfully approached the door without making a sound and quietly latched it. I clenched my fist.

I managed to lock the door this time… but why is it so quiet? Did they leave while I was trying to lock it? I thought to myself as I pressed my ear against the door.

Then, I flinched at the faint presence I felt outside. I didn’t hear any unusual sounds, but I could definitely tell someone was standing right outside the door.

Who could it be, loitering outside someone’s house in the middle of the night? What do they want?

As my anxiety began to rise, my breathing grew heavier.

Knock knock.

“Eek!”

The sudden knock made me jump, and I scrambled away from the door with a scream.

But even after all that commotion, there was no voice.

What the hell do they want?! I clutched my pounding heart and hastily summoned Doll 505.

Even though I had just purged it less than 10 minutes ago, the situation was urgent, so I had no choice.

I quickly connected the mana thread and activated it, then shouted in a frightened voice.

“Wh-who’s there?!”

As I’ve said many times before, not many people live in the southern district. No, to be extreme, it’s safe to say there’s no one here except me.

It’s been about two months since I settled here. While going back and forth between the dungeon and my house, I’ve never even seen a shadow of anyone passing by. Most of the population is concentrated in the central and northern districts, with only a handful of people scattered across the remaining three districts.

Yes. It’s only natural. It’s extremely strange for someone to be knocking on my door in the middle of the night. Especially when they don’t even say anything after knocking.

Thanks to that, I was experiencing the greatest fear I’ve felt since coming to the Floating Island.

“Wh-who is it…? Sniff…”

My voice trembled as anxiety took over my body, but there was still no answer.

Really, stop playing these pranks… I don’t like this kind of thing…!

Ever since I was a child, I’ve hated scary things. Especially ghosts.

That’s why I was hesitating to open the door and check.

What if the one knocking isn’t a person but some other ‘being’…? That’s scary!

Of course, even if it’s a person, it’s still scary, but at least if it’s a person, I can scold them with Doll 505. If it’s a ghost, there’s no way to win. How do you fight something you can’t even hit?

Please, let it be someone who’s come to see me for a good reason. Sister Andreina, Yuika, anyone…!

But something so convenient wasn’t going to happen. I hadn’t made any evening plans with either of them, so there was no reason for them to come.

In the end, I had to handle this on my own.

“Ugh, ugh…!”

I let out a groan, quickly retrieved Doll 505, and fled to the bathroom.

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t muster the courage to open the door and check. If it were morning, maybe, but definitely not at night like this.

That meant I had to hold out until morning, but the problem was that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in my bed.

Because there’s a window right next to my bed.

What if, while lying in bed, I made eye contact with the ‘being’ that knocked on the door?

“Eek…”

Just imagining it made me nauseous, and cold sweat poured down my back.

Hugging Doll 505 tightly, I crouched in the corner of the bathroom, trembling in fear.

God, Buddha, or the unnamed deity of the Floating Island, anyone, please protect me.

I prayed for morning to come, muttering like a chant over and over in my mind.

Author Note

A/N (Author’s note):
Sorry for being late…!

I kept trying to control the story from becoming too serious, as my tendency for seriousness hasn’t gone away, which made me late…

I keep hearing whispers like, “Does the other me need strength?” and even that feels like a task…

I’ll try to ensure that even the scene of digging the ground doesn’t become too serious.

Thank you for reading today as well…!

Translator Note

T/N (Translator’s note):
A wholesome story about a wholesome girlfailure who fails a lot.

Nothing wrong here, if anything, there is a lack of failures!

But good for her and the author.

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