Chapter 124

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**Guerilla Stream. (4)**

_Who is this stream even for?_

At first, I could kind of handle it, but as time went on and Toya’s commentary kept going, my face felt like it was going to catch fire.

Ugh, so embarrassing.

I didn’t even sing it _with that kind of feeling_, you know?

Part of me wanted to stop her, but she was having so much fun talking with that bright, happy voice—it didn’t feel right to shut her down.

…Fine. Toya, do whatever you want.

> “And—maybe one of the songs I sang today will show up in the live performance~?”

– Eh, really? ww

– Guess that means this _was_ a rehearsal after all wwww

– Curious what song she’ll choose ww

– If she sounds this good in practice, imagine the real thing…

– While we’re at it, how about doing a review of today’s songs?

> “I _do_ want to go over them again… but I’m a little tired right now, so maybe next time!”

Even for someone with Toya’s stamina, streaming in 3D after practice was clearly exhausting.

…I wouldn’t have made it past practice in the first place, honestly.

Anyway, after that came the usual: casual chat with viewers.

Toya’s streams _were_ mostly chatting streams, after all.

> [1000¥]
>
> – Nacchan, let us hear your voice!
>

> “What do you think, Natsu? Want to say something?”

> “Well, it’s not like I _can’t_ speak…”

The reason I’d stayed quiet was simple—it wasn’t _my_ stream, it was Toya’s.

Sure, it was kind of like a casual collab, and I might’ve talked more than I expected… but still, this was _Toya’s_ time. A guerrilla stream for _her_ fans, the Totomos.

And honestly? I was happy just watching.

…Was I really happy?
It kind of felt like my old embarrassing memories were being aired out in front of everyone, so maybe not _entirely_…

Still, the stream continued with its usual comfy vibe.

I might’ve spoken a bit more than normal to support Toya after she danced and sang with all that gear on, but the chat didn’t seem to mind at all.

They were probably used to it by now.

Toya and I appeared in each other’s streams so often that people likely just saw us as a duo.

> “Natsu, is there a song you’d want me to sing? I’d really love to sing one just for you.”

> “…Honestly? I want _to sing_ for you instead.”

– teeteeteeteeteee…

– I want to see Nacchan sing for Toya too.

– Nacchan thinking about Toya is adorable ww

– Watching the two of them makes my heart feel warm

– Don’t tell me they were childhood friends or something?

– That would actually make a lot of sense wwww

Someday, if I got healthier, I wanted to sing all the songs Toya had sung for me.

Toya wasn’t even the type to sing a lot at first.
Back when we first started living together, she never really did singing streams.

That only changed after I told her I liked listening to her sing.

Back then, I didn’t even notice—but now, it was obvious. She started singing for _me_.

‘So I want to give something back.’

The meaning of life has changed for me a few times… but nothing’s ever felt as strong as this.

I want to be with Toya.
I want to make her happy.
I want to bring her joy.

Her kindness had soaked into my heart like gentle rain, and before I knew it, she had filled up most of it.

I _could_ have stayed home when she went to the studio.
For someone like me, going outside is an exhausting chore.

> “So, one day, I’ll definitely sing for you.”

> “…”

> “I don’t know when—but I will.”

But the reason I followed her there didn’t need to be complex.

It was the simplest thing in the world:
Because I wanted to be with Toya.
And because she wanted to be with me.

To us, each other was both something precious and something so obvious it didn’t even need saying.

Wanting to sing for Toya was just an extension of that.

‘She sang for me—so now I want to sing for her.’

Yeah. That was all.

That simple reason is what made me who I am now.

—

> “Whew~ That was so much fun! Grrrnnghh—”

> “I had fun too, Toya.”

Toya stretched, shaking out her stiff body after the stream.

Doing a 3D stream right after rehearsal must’ve been too much.

Even if she was tired, the crowd’s response—and having me there—probably pushed her to give it her all.

She probably just wanted to show her best self to me.

> “Haa… I’m feeling kinda drained.”

> “Want me to carry you?”

> “Oho? I’d get reported for child abuse if someone saw that, you know?”

> “…Child abuse? Seriously?”

I placed my hand on Yeoreum’s head and watched her pout just a little, even though her lips curled upward into a smile.

Pink-tinted eyes peeked up at me from under my hand—so rabbit-like.

If it were snowing, it would’ve been perfect.

I remembered the day I first met her and giggled to myself.

> “Back then, you looked just like a snow bunny, Yeoreum~”

> “You mean… the day we first met?”

> “Yeah, you were all buried in snow like a tiny bunny. It was so cute.”

With a playful _hyah_, I poked her cheek—and it sank in, just like always.

Ahh, that soft, squishy feeling…

If Yeoreum were a pet and not a person, I wouldn’t have been able to resist cuddling her 24/7.

But I’m still human, after all.

When I reached my hand toward her, she grabbed it gently.

> “You really want to sing for me?”

> “…Yeah. You’ve always been the one singing for me, so I want to do the same.”

> “I see…”

Just hearing her say that made me happy.

I _had_ heard Yeoreum sing before—back when she was Han Yeoreum.

But since she became who she is now, I hadn’t.

And honestly, that always felt like a shame.

Even though she doesn’t speak loudly or often, her voice is _so_ nice.

I’ve imagined it more times than I can count—how her current voice would sound in a song.

> “Ugh, I wanna carry you home, but I’m too tired today…”

> “It’s okay. I can walk on my own.”

> “You sure?”

> “Really, I’m fine.”

Normally, I’d carry her at least partway home—but after everything today, I didn’t have the energy.

Dang… If I’d known, I would’ve saved a little strength.

Still, watching her walk along while swinging her arms back and forth made me laugh.

She looked exactly like a little kid—just like her appearance.

> “Toya? What’s so funny?”

> “Just you, walking with your arms swinging like that. It’s cute.”

> “I was swinging my arms?”

> “Yeah, like _this_.”

She must’ve been doing it subconsciously.

Most people swing their arms while walking, but with her, the motion was bigger and more obvious.

Not that it was weird or anything—it was just…

Too cute. So cute I might walk into a pole or something if I kept staring.

‘She’s trying so hard _not_ to swing her arms… ugh, it’s too cute!!’

She tried holding her arms still, but after a few steps, they’d start moving again.

She kept swinging, then freezing, then swinging again—until finally, with a grumpy little frown, she shoved her hands in her pockets.

At that point, I couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing.

> “Pfft, phuhuhu… Yeoreum, you can swing your arms. It’s fine!”

> “But doesn’t it look weird?”

> “Not at all. It’s just cute. Look—I’m swinging mine too!”

Mine weren’t moving as much, but I swung them anyway.

Hearing that, Yeoreum gave me a tiny pout and pulled her hands out of her pockets.

She didn’t _look_ happy, though.

As I watched her carefully, I noticed her fingers fidgeting slightly.

> “What’s up, Yeoreum?”

> “…Nothing. Really.”

She shook her head, but I knew that expression too well.

She was thinking about the past again.

That face she made—was the same one she always made when telling me stories about her old life.