Chapter 12. Honor and Sacrifice (11)

I could make excuses.

It’s been about ten years since I came to this world, and that small mana sphere has probably been there since then, so if I had known earlier, I might have been able to resolve it.

It was an entity that shouldn’t exist in the middle of the city. It was a crystal of condensed mana that could cause a catastrophe at any moment.

They probably didn’t know its danger yet. At least, until now, the Pope had been able to maintain it by sacrificing his own body, so they might have thought they could continue to maintain it that way.

However, we all know that’s no longer the case.

So… if I had known, I would have said I would solve it.

The Pope’s prayer time seemed to be over, and he slowly rose from his seat and looked at me.

His face, smiling benevolently, looked like a grandfather living next door. Even though he wasn’t Asian, I somehow felt that way about the Pope’s expression.

“Hello, Sister.”

“Ah, hello.”

At his sudden greeting, I involuntarily bowed my head. Even in this changed world, Confucianism hadn’t completely disappeared from South Korea.

“I seem to have kept my guest waiting for too long.”

“Ah, no, it’s not…”

As I replied, feeling flustered, the Pope smiled benevolently again.

“Thank you for responding to my unreasonable request. Your claims were quite interesting… However, as the situation is not favorable for me to go directly, I have invited you here. I will be careful not to take up too much of your time. Rome is a place with many sights to see. If there are any places you wish to visit, please tell Sister Maria here. She will kindly guide you.”

“Ah, yes, but, um-“

I glanced at the mana sphere.

No, perhaps it could be called a mana ‘dot’ rather than a sphere.

From a distance, it only looked small, but that wasn’t the case. It looked a bit more solid. It wasn’t just clumped together, but truly condensed to the extreme.

“Come this way. There’s a place more suitable for conversation than here.”

However, the Pope did not ask me to get rid of it.

Sister Maria also seemed to have a lot she wanted to say, but eventually, as the Pope moved first towards the outside, she simply shrugged her shoulders and followed.

Ria looked back and forth between the Pope and Sister Maria, her expression suggesting she had realized something.

However, she didn’t tell me right away.

*

The weather is… good. It’s September, so naturally. Moreover, although Italy is a peninsula like Korea, the weather wasn’t that humid.

The sunlight was still a bit strong, but it wasn’t too difficult to sit in the shade.

The Pope sat not very close to the window, but on a chair, looking down at the plaza outside the building.

If it were inside the Vatican, perhaps, but this is Rome. And this place where we are is also famous for being where the Pope resides. It wouldn’t be strange for people to visit to see what kind of person is at the very top of the order that commands the world.

In fact, many people were coming and going outside.

A cup was placed in front of us. It was espresso. Fortunately, sugar and a teaspoon were provided, so it wasn’t so bitter that I couldn’t drink it.

“Well then.”

The Pope said, rubbing his hands together with a truly delighted expression.

“Shall we continue the conversation you were having? Ah, of course, since I’ve already heard some of it, we can pick up from after that part.”

“Ah, no, but-“

I had wanted to talk about the mana sphere all along, but the Pope didn’t bring up such topics at all.

It was as if he hadn’t called me for that reason.

Ria lightly grabbed my arm from beside me. She shook her head, so I let my shoulders droop slightly.

I don’t know what’s going on.

Could it be that he really called me just to talk? Without any practical considerations?

If so, Sister Maria’s attitude a moment ago was a bit strange.

“So, the first thing I’d like to ask is-“

But the Pope just smiled like a child having a pleasant conversation and spoke to me.

All I could do at that moment was to respond to the Pope’s words.

*

The Pope’s attitude was a little different from other clergy.

Was he resigned to everything? Or did he not have the energy left to argue with me here?

No, considering that, the Pope’s questions were quite passionate.

He wasn’t trying to discuss theological theories, but rather asking for my opinions.

“Perhaps we have become too accustomed to an omnipotent God.”

When the Pope said that with a smile, I flinched involuntarily.

Is he being sarcastic? If so, the Pope looked too happy.

“…”

The Pope’s gaze briefly turned outside the window. The sunset was already setting. Although we had left almost at dawn, the distance from Korea to Italy was physically too great.

“To someone who cannot do everything, a believer who expects everything…”

I couldn’t bring myself to answer those words.

“Nevertheless, He truly cares for us, doesn’t He?”

“…”

“Us, who only pray and wish… simply because He wants to help us… I understand why you say that power is not your own. Yes, the power of holy energy was never our power in the first place. The reason we survived that disaster was all thanks to His power, and the reason this world continues to exist is also thanks to Him.”

The Pope, looking up at the sunset, smiled at me.

“It is fortunate.”

“…It is.”

I agree with those words.

The Pope didn’t even mention things like “Saint Candidate” or “you must become a Saint.”

That made me feel even more uncomfortable.

Then, my gaze drifted to the Pope’s fingertips. The blackened, dead hand. Perhaps it was a wound obtained from controlling the mana sphere with his body.

“Sister, have you ever thought about why religion exists in this world?”

The Pope asked.

“…Because of fear, I suppose.”

I replied.

As someone who didn’t believe, that was all I could say. Because I feared death. Because I feared that my existence was no different from some nameless worm crawling on the ground, not a spiritual being.

It’s frightening that there’s nothing after death. It’s frightening that no matter how hard I struggle in reality, I might not receive any reward until the moment of death.

That’s why people create an afterlife and try to be saved by thinking about what comes after.

Well, if you ask actual religious people, many will say no, but if I were to believe in religion, I think that’s why.

And, in this world, I… live with a little more peace of mind, probably because of that. Because I truly know that there is something after death.

“Fear is the most fundamental of all fears. Simply the fact that there is a possibility of salvation can give people hope to live. It can give them the courage to forgive someone, or the courage to fight back.”

It’s not that there aren’t any crazy people who get too angry and decide they must kill everyone who opposes them, but that’s the same for atheism. There is no country that has been able to advocate for state atheism and completely erase religion.

“Was that question… also a question related to the Pope?”

“Of course. I am also afraid of death.”

The Pope said it very simply.

“Because I’m getting old.”

“…”

However, I sensed that it wasn’t just because of his age. The Pope was dying. Because of the responsibilities he had taken on until now.

After a moment of thought, I made a big decision.

“Pope, is it okay if I pray for you?”

“Are you praying, Sister, you who do not believe in God?”

“My faith isn’t really that important.”

At my words, the Pope laughed as if he had heard a funny joke.

“No, Sister. In my eyes, your faith is important.”

“…Yes?”

“In my eyes, you are not without faith. You have some kind of conviction. And that conviction is very good.”

“…”

I stared blankly at the Pope.

“The reason the divine being you speak of helps you is also for that reason.”

“I…”

“Therefore, I will also try my best with my own strength.”

“…That being is not God. He doesn’t inflict pain or test us intentionally.”

“Yes, that’s right. He doesn’t. Even when we called Him God, we never thought that. There have always been those who proclaimed Him to be omniscient and omnipotent.”

The Pope slowly stood up from his seat.

“So, this is not a path ordained by Him. It is a path I have chosen. From that day until now, it is a path I have walked thinking I would endure it, Sister. Sister, what kind of being do I appear to you as?”

I glanced at Ria for a moment. Ria simply shrugged her shoulders.

After thinking for a moment, I finally gave a rather unimpressive answer.

“You are the Pope, aren’t you?”

“That’s right. I am the Pope. I am the one at the very top of this order, and therefore, I have much to be responsible for. And this matter is not something I can order someone else to do. If I give up this position and pass it on to someone else, what about the person who takes this place next?”

I couldn’t answer anything.

“Thank you for the conversation. Thank you for thinking of helping me, Sister. It has been a great help in finding peace of mind. I have been able to properly record your words in the Bible. You will probably stay for a few more days and share more of your words.”

The Pope smiled benevolently at me.

“However, that is not your responsibility. Sister. Don’t try to bear all the difficulties you face. You don’t need to deliberately take on responsibilities that others have forced upon you. No one in this world has to live that way.”

“…”

This was the first time I had heard such words since coming to this world.

“Well, it’s almost time for dinner. This old man has a dinner appointment, so I’ll be excusing myself. I hope you two have a delicious meal.”

Until the Pope spoke so softly and stepped aside, I couldn’t decide what answer to give him.