episode_0044

044

Whiiiiing.

A cold breeze brushed past our skin.

Yoo Seolhyun’s hair fluttered in the wind for a moment before settling down.

Slowly raising her right hand, Yoo Seolhyun gently smoothed out her tousled hair and pursed her lips.

“I want to let go of lingering emotions…”

After pondering over my words, Yoo Seolhyun slowly raised her head, looked straight into my eyes, and there was a subtle hint of curiosity in her gaze.

What could she be thinking right now?

I couldn’t exactly tell, but one thing was crystal clear.

Doubt.

Yoo Seolhyun harbored strong curiosity and doubt about my words.

“Didn’t you say you parted ways amicably?”

“….”

Well, not exactly.

I remained silent for a moment, contemplating how to phrase my response.

Deciding to clarify my stance, I met Yoo Seolhyun’s gaze and began to speak.

“Well, you see, I’ve been dating Soyeon for a while now.”

Pausing for a moment, I gently parted my lips and continued, “Honestly, it seemed like Soyeon saw me more as a friend rather than a romantic interest.”

It was only natural, considering our fake relationship.

“Well, we’ve known each other for a long time since we were kids, so it was inevitable.”

“Yeah.”

“I really liked her a lot.”

I intentionally wore a slightly melancholic expression, but Yoo Seolhyun remained silent, calmly watching me without saying a word.

“And then there’s Ishiwoon. Don’t you think he suits Soyeon well?”

“Ishiwoon?”

“Yeah. Soyeon and Ishiwoon seemed to get along subtly even back in middle school. Ishiwoon seemed to care about Soyeon too.”

“Hmm.”

“It felt strange watching the two of them together.”

Honestly, Soyeon and Ishiwoon didn’t seem that close in middle school, but who knows.

Yoo Seolhyun probably wouldn’t know either way.

“Ishiwoon is talented, comes from a good family, good-looking, and has money… He seems to have it all, right?”

His personality was a bit ambiguous.

Of course, as one of the male leads, he wasn’t a bad character.

At least until jealousy clouds his judgment.

“Soyeon has always been popular since we were kids. Even guys like Ishiwoon showed interest in her. But compared to those guys, I feel a bit lacking.”

“…I don’t think you lack any talent.”

Truth be told, I don’t have any special talents.

Yoo Seolhyun must have misunderstood and said that.

“Anyway, I think it would be better for Soyeon to be with someone like Ishiwoon than me.”

“Well…”

“When I was dating her, some guys would secretly tell her to break up with me, but if she’s with Ishiwoon, she won’t have to deal with that.”

I added a bit more explanation.

“If Soyeon really liked me a lot… Honestly, she didn’t seem to have much interest in me as a man. It’s like she didn’t really understand the concept of dating. In fact, that’s why Soyeon got along well with other people.”

Instead of going out with guys and leaving her lover behind, she just maintained close relationships with both men and women without any distinction.

Of course, from the perspective of a boyfriend, that might have been a bit difficult. But since Soyeon and I were fake lovers to begin with, we didn’t really pay much attention to each other.

The kids just brushed it off, saying, ‘Oh, they were like that even before they started dating.’

“Hmm. It’s a bit strange to hang out with other guys when you have a lover. Are you jealous?”

Yoo Seolhyun smirked mischievously.

She’s saying something weird again.

Of course, from Yoo Seolhyun’s perspective, she could think that way, but Soyeon was very insensitive to the boundaries between men and women.

Moreover, she was overly helpful, which led her to interact with many men.

I guess she’s not the protagonist of a reverse harem.

“Soyeon has always been friendly, that’s why.”

“Well… for now, let’s just leave it at that.”

Yoo Seolhyun nodded with a knowing expression.

I looked at Yoo Seolhyun for a moment and then continued to speak.

“Anyway, I ended up dating Soyeon by chance. I thought maybe Isiwoon was more interested in her as a man than I was.”

“Hmm.”

“And it was a bit hard for me to see Soyeon getting along with other guys. It’s been like that since before, but now it’s just funny to meddle in everything… Well, in the end, that’s why we decided to break up.”

I continued slowly.

“I don’t blame Soyeon or anything. I just… I don’t know. I guess I hope Isiwoon or some other good guy will be happy with her? Anyway, if that happens, maybe I can let go of any lingering feelings.”

“…”

“I didn’t expect to say all this to you. Well, you can just let it go.”

“…”

“But from your perspective, isn’t it a bit… awkward? Since you were in a similar relationship with Isiwoon in your family.”

“It’s fine. I didn’t really care, neither did Isiwoon, about that. Let’s just move on from how you know that fact.”

Yoo Seolhyun shrugged her shoulders.

“I heard you well. But… you seem like a fool.”

“Oh, um. Really?”

“Yeah. You seem like a fool. I don’t understand.”

“People become foolish when they fall in love. Especially with their first love.”

Of course, I don’t like Soyeon as a man.

Until I remember my past life, I just think of Soyeon as a precious childhood friend.

But… if Soyeon thinks of me as a man, it’s a bit awkward, honestly.

“So, to summarize your words, you don’t think of yourself as a man to Soyeon, you don’t get along, so you hope she’ll be happy with a better guy, right?”

“Something like that.”

“That’s why I say you’re a fool. It’s pitiful.”

“Huh?”

Yoo Seolhyun slowly extended her foot towards me.

A light of incomprehension flashed in her eyes.

“Why are you trying to give up someone you want to have to someone else?”

Huh? I’m not really trying to give up.

From the start, Soyeon and I are not in that kind of relationship.

I can’t even tell her about our fake relationship.

“If you really want something, shouldn’t you try to have it yourself?”

“Maybe that’s true for you.”

“It’s not just me, it’s how most people think. That’s why I don’t understand. You’re not a pushover.”

“Hey, hey.”

“What’s the point of trying to help the girl you like get along with another guy from the start? Do you think you can get rid of your lingering feelings? I really can’t understand.”

Yoo Seolhyun shook her head with a subtle expression.

“…I really can’t understand you.”

Considering her personality and values, my actions must be incomprehensible to her.

She had a temperament that required her to have what she wanted in order to feel relieved.

“Is it like the feeling of letting go because you love someone? It’s a thought I can’t understand, personally.”

“There’s no need for you to understand.”

“Yeah, that’s right. I don’t need to understand.”

Yoo Seolhyun let out a deep sigh.

And quietly muttered to herself.

“It’s a bit envy-inducing that there’s someone who thinks that much… That’s the only thing I envy a little, Jinsuyeon.”

“Are you deliberately muttering to yourself right now?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Anyway…”

I cleared my throat and raised my spirits again.

“But are you really okay? Even if I try to help Sihyun and Soyeon get along a little.”

“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about it.”

“In that case…”

I nodded my head reassuringly.

I was worried about how Yoo Seolhyun would react, but she seemed completely unfazed, which was a relief.

It seemed like there wouldn’t be any major obstacles to pushing Sihyun and Soyeon together if I helped them this once.

Even though their feelings towards me wouldn’t skyrocket just because I helped out a bit, they would probably become closer than they are now.

And with Sihyun’s help, they would be able to handle future events more smoothly.

Right?

***

One corner of my heart feels suffocated.

A sharp pain surges from my diaphragm.

With a feeling that my heart is sinking, Jinsuyeon can tell that her pulse is racing.

“This can’t be true, it can’t be.”

In a situation she couldn’t understand.

Unable to easily calm her confused mind, Jinsuyeon ran out of the rooftop and started sprinting aimlessly.

She wanted to clear her stuffy and confused mind and escape the voices of those two people that wouldn’t reach her.

Jinsuyeon ran across the vast correctional facility, her breath becoming labored, until she eventually reached some sort of park.

“Ha… Ugh… Hoo…”

Jinsuyeon bent over halfway, panting heavily.

The conversation she had just heard on the rooftop between Lee Jinhyuk and Yoo Seolhyun wouldn’t leave her mind.

Among the various stories she couldn’t understand, there was only one thing that was deeply piercing her heart like a sharp blade.

That Lee Jinhyuk secretly liked Jinsuyeon.

“Oh, no, that can’t be… That can’t be true…?”

It was a story she shouldn’t have heard and didn’t want to hear.

The idea that Lee Jinhyuk liked her was absurd.

Normally, she would have brushed it off as a mere joke, but she couldn’t do that now.

Because Lee Jinhyuk had revealed his true feelings to her.

“…He’s liked me all this time? And I didn’t notice? How could I have missed that?”

They had been childhood friends for over ten years.

Jinsuyeon prided herself on knowing a lot about Lee Jinhyuk.

But she had missed something crucial.

How could she not have realized that Lee Jinhyuk liked her all this time? And that she had asked him to pretend to be her fake boyfriend…?

“Ah… Ugh.”

A feeling of indescribable guilt washed over her.

It was no wonder, as she could imagine how conflicted Lee Jinhyuk, who had secretly harbored a crush on her, must have felt.

As someone who had secretly loved Jinsuyeon, he must have had complex feelings in various ways.

However, Jinhuk silently accepted it without saying a word.

Even when Jinsuyeon was playing with other kids without a care in the world, laughing and chatting away, he never complained.

Because it was a fake relationship.

Jinhuk couldn’t say anything, so he just silently endured being used as a shield by Jinsuyeon as her fake boyfriend.

For years on end.

“That could be the case.”

What was Jinhuk thinking all this time?

How did he truly feel about Jinsuyeon?

Why couldn’t I see it?

“….”

When she lost her father at a young age and sat alone in kindergarten without saying a word, the first person to reach out to her was Jinhuk.

Back then, she didn’t talk much and didn’t get along well with other kids, but thanks to Jinhuk, she learned how to be with people.

He was her support and a solid wall.

Whenever Jinsuyeon was struggling, he would come to her side and help without asking for anything in return. Even during the dangerous incident in the past, he didn’t hesitate to save her.

But what did Jinsuyeon do to Jinhuk?

Didn’t she hurt him?

For years on end.

“Could it be that Jinhuk didn’t get along with other girls and wasn’t interested in them because… he liked me?”

It seemed plausible.

Jinhuk was decent-looking and good at studying, so he was popular with some girls, but he himself was indifferent.

As if he had someone else in mind.

“After enrolling in Union, he distanced himself from me and tried to get close to Siwoon to let go of his lingering feelings… and for my sake…? Because he thought I was interested in Siwoon…?”

How, how could someone do that?

If Jinsuyeon had been in the opposite position, what would she have done?

Could she have cared for a childhood friend like Jinhuk did?

“I didn’t even realize that Jinhuk was struggling… No, if I thought he liked me, would I have made such a request… Why did Jinhuk… Why did Jinhuk…”

Jinsuyeon sat down, her face buried in her hands.

Confused.

Her mind was in turmoil.

Jinsuyeon had no idea.

That Jinhuk was secretly harboring a crush on her.

If she had known, she would never have made such a request to her one and only precious childhood friend.

A request for a fake relationship.

…But it was already spilled milk.

Jinsuyeon never imagined she could be so oblivious.

How could she not know that her childhood friend of over ten years liked her?

Even if Jinhuk tried to hide it, it must have subtly shown.

In fact, Jinsuyeon had tried to hide what happened last night, but didn’t Jinhuk quickly catch on and ask her about it?

That’s how it should have been for childhood friends who had been together for so long.

But why couldn’t Jinsuyeon…

“I, I didn’t mean to… But still, considering the pain Jinhuk has endured so far…”

Guilt and conflicting emotions stirred within her.

Her mind was in chaos, making it hard to organize her thoughts.

But one thing was certain.

Regardless of the reasons, she had caused Jinhuk great pain.

Of course, she couldn’t deny that it was her fault to ask for a fake relationship in the first place.

From the start, Jinsuyeon didn’t know what Jinhuk was thinking, and ultimately, it was Jinhuk’s choice to accept the request.

But for Jinsuyeon, those things didn’t matter.

She had received so much help from Jinhuk over the years, yet she couldn’t repay his kindness and instead betrayed him.

That fact alone clouded Jinsuyeon’s mind and heart.

“Jinhuk…”

Jinsuyeon quietly whispered his name.

Up until now, I have been hurt by my own actions, by the name of my precious childhood friend.