I Am Afraid of Defeat

The Imperial Palace.

Yuris arrived at the Sun Palace, where the Emperor resided, to report her victory.

The victory report of the Knights was a customary ritual.

Even if the target of that victory was merely bandits, Yuris always knelt before the Emperor in the Sun Palace.

It was a ritual to show everyone that her victory was the Empire’s victory, the Empress’s victory.

This time as well, having arrived at the Sun Palace, she knelt before the Empress.

The Empress’s hair, as red as a burning flame, made the golden crown on her head look even more authoritative.

The arrogant golden eyes of the absolute being looking down at her contained an insight that saw through the hearts of all.

Sitting regally on the throne above the Empire’s sacred number of twelve steps, the Empress crossed her legs and smiled at Yuris.

“You don’t look cheerful.”

The Empress said, looking at Yuris.

It might sound like a casual remark, but her words were etched with certainty.

As if she were sure that her words would never be wrong.

“It seems that merely catching bandits is not enough for you. Are you not satisfied with this victory?”

Yuris bowed her head deeply at the Empress’s voice directed at her.

“No, Your Majesty.” “Is that so? Then where does the worry on your face come from?” “That is…”

Yuris couldn’t answer.

The memory of defeat shown by the illusion mage was still vivid in her mind.

The contradictory desire to desire defeat even while having achieved victory was taking root in one corner of her heart.

Yuris, the goddess of victory and guardian of the Empire, could not bring herself to utter those words.

The Empress beckoned to Yuris, who was hesitating without answering.

“Come here.”

At the Empress’s gesture, Yuris ascended the steps between her and the Empress.

The twelve steps between the throne where the Emperor sat and the subjects.

It was a symbol expressing the gap in existence that could never be overcome between the Emperor of the Empire and ordinary people, even if they were not subjects of the Empire.

The Empire’s sacred number of twelve steps.

Depending on how much the Emperor favored them, they could ascend those steps, but no one could ever stand on the same level as the throne.

It was a rule that had never been broken once from the founding of the Empire a thousand years ago to the present.

Even if the other party was a dragon.

Yuris ascended to the eleventh step of those stairs.

A close distance, only one step away from the throne where the Empress sat.

It was a part that showed how much the Empress cherished and cared for Yuris.

As Yuris stepped onto the eleventh step, the Empress rose from her throne and approached her.

The Empress’s soft and delicate fingers gently stroked Yuris’s chin.

“Yuris, my cherished knight.” “Yes, Your Majesty.” “What are you so worried about?” “……” “Answer me. Tell your worries to your liege.” “Is that an order?” “It is.”

Yuris was a knight.

A knight who had to obey the orders of her liege unconditionally.

It was her shameful part, but it was the nature of a knight to speak if it was Her Majesty’s command.

But how could she say it?

That wicked desire that she wanted to be defeated by mere bandits.

Even if it was Her Majesty’s command, she couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Yuris opened her mouth with a trembling voice.

“I am afraid of defeat.”

That was why.

It was a roundabout way of expressing her concerns.

“Why are you afraid?” “I am afraid of what will happen when I am defeated. I am afraid that my heart will be broken by defeat.”

Herself being defeated by bandits.

The moment she realized that she was just a bitch, not a knight of victory, while fawning over them herself.

Even now, recalling that memory, she was immersed in that memory and wanted to feel it again.

Yuris was afraid.

The Empress’s fingers, which had been gently stroking Yuris’s chin, slowly stroked her cheek.

“Why are you assuming you will be defeated? Are you not the goddess of victory?” “As a human being, I am bound to lose someday. And that defeat, which I have never experienced before, will be painful.” “You are afraid.” “Yes.”

She was afraid.

The future where she would be defeated by ‘that’ in the illusion and would not be able to become the goddess of victory.

At the same time, she was curious.

How she herself would accept the future where she would no longer be the ‘goddess of victory’.

The Empress’s fingers, which had gone up her cheek, caressed Yuris’s ear and stroked her shining blonde hair.

The gesture was so gentle and soft that even Yuris, a woman, felt her heart flutter.

It was a gesture befitting an Emperor who had to embrace all people and love all her subjects.

“Do not be afraid. As long as you are a knight of the Empire, I will not let you be defeated.” “Your Majesty.” “If you cannot trust yourself, trust me. Trust your liege, who expects the goddess of victory to return victorious. I have no doubt that you will be victorious.”

A tone full of conviction.

Yuris bit her lip at the Empress’s voice, which never doubted defeat.

“It is difficult to count the number of barbarians, monsters, and demons in the north that you have subjugated. You have used your sword to quell rebellions that dared to revolt against the Empire, as well as various resisting nations. So do not doubt yourself.”

She felt so ashamed and weak for fearing a future defeat that would not come and not enjoying the present victory.

But, but…

‘Your Majesty, I am sorry. I have lied to you.’

She was not afraid of defeat.

She was afraid of herself for wanting defeat.

But Yuris couldn’t bring herself to say that.

Because the anxiety that she would really not be able to become the goddess of victory if she uttered those words enveloped her.

“I am grateful, Your Majesty.”

She simply bowed her head and expressed her gratitude for the Empress’s grace.

“Yuris, it is because of you that the Empire can achieve peace without enemies, so do not imagine that you will be defeated.” “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Still, she felt a little relieved thanks to the Empress.

Of course, ‘that store’ kept flashing in Yuris’s mind.

***

The day after Helen left.

“No, I mean, I fitted everything with the best quality, so what’s the problem?”

The dissatisfied gazes of the alchemists who came to pick up the potions I had manufactured were directed at me and the potions.

“Is it really the best quality? I’ve never heard of illusion magic being able to create the best quality magic potions.” “Tsk, does alchemy have a school? It’s a basic liberal arts subject that you learn regardless of school. Don’t do anything strange to lower the price and check it quickly.” “Hmm…” “Go back if you don’t like it. There are plenty of people who want to buy this anyway. If you don’t buy it from your workshop, I’ll sell it to a dwarf workshop.”

The magic potion I was selling this time was mana water, a fuel that helps operate machines used in alchemy and various workshops.

Mana water was a potion made by processing mana stones or monster essences into liquid, and it was an essential medicine needed to run magical machines because it was full of mana.

It had better energy efficiency than operating with just mana stones, so it was mainly used by workshops with a lot of money or that operated multiple magical machines, or by dwarves.

However, it required a lot of manpower to process it, so it was a much more expensive item than mana stones.

You could say that a small merchant like me who doesn’t have money can’t dare to use mana water.

All I do is run it with mana stones.

Mana water is like petroleum in the 21st century.

Mana stone is like coal when you compare it?

Making mana water and selling it to workshops was my side job to pay for rent and other management fees.

Siri Alchemy Workshop was a workshop that I had recently started trading with, and it was a fairly large workshop, so I didn’t expect them to pick a fight like this on the day of the transaction.

“Ahem, did I say I wouldn’t buy it? I want to see the condition of the goods.” “I often hand over goods to dwarf workshops that have established branches in the Empire. I don’t play around with goods.” “Tsk, that’s your situation. We need to check it thoroughly. Give me a bottle for testing.” “Didn’t I give you a sample potion when we signed the contract last time?”

This guy is making me angry.

“How do we know if that’s a manipulated item?”

The reason they were interfering was because I was a magician of the illusion magic school.

Generally, magicians were beings that ordinary people could not dare to challenge.

If they dared to challenge, they could go back and forth between life and death with one magic spell.

Magicians had such powerful power that they inspired fear in everyone, but illusion magicians were an exception.

Illusion magic alone cannot inflict physical force.

Because they knew that, the treatment of illusion magicians was different from that of ordinary magicians.

At best, they were treated as intelligent intellectuals?

But what if the other party had an inferiority complex about magicians?

They would never see them in a good light.

Alchemy was the worst.

The most common process for becoming an alchemist was to enter a magic school and then realize that they had no talent for magic, and choose the path of an alchemist instead of magic.

Of course, they would be full of inferiority complexes about magicians.

In addition, some alchemists thought of themselves as quasi-magicians, so they often looked down on magicians of the illusion magic school.

Like now.

‘Haa, should I just use magic?’

I do have some experience from Blister.

Can’t I take down one alchemist?

I was fighting with worries in my head when.

“What’s going on?”

A woman with sparkling blonde hair tied back and blue eyes.

It was Yuris, the Knight of Victory.

“Y-Yuris, Knight…?”

The alchemist, seeing her, widened his eyes, not knowing what to do.

He seemed surprised by the sudden appearance of the Empire’s hero.

“Mage, it seems like you’re in a difficult situation?”

“Ah, Knight! You’ve come at the right time. Please resolve my problem.”

“Problem?”

“He’s trying to sabotage a deal on the spot for an item we agreed to trade for with a clear contract. As far as I know, according to the Imperial Trade Law, canceling a deal on the day of is a crime that disrupts commerce, isn’t it?”

Yuris, realizing what I meant, nodded.

“It is. Those who disrupt the Empire’s commerce will be given a corresponding fine.”

“O-Oh…?”

The alchemist, who hadn’t expected Yuris to take my side, stammered, looking at me and Yuris.

“A business owner I have ties with is in trouble, so shouldn’t I help?”

“Haha, as expected, the Goddess of Victory has a big heart!”

This one word was the deciding factor.

The alchemist, flustered, couldn’t speak properly and stammered.

“I-I don’t think a verification process is necessary. If the Goddess of Victory has already verified the item…”

“You’ve made a good decision.”

I frowned when I saw the pouch the alchemist handed over.

“You calculated it at the list price?”

“O-Of course! Isn’t that the amount we contracted for?”

“According to the Imperial Commercial Law, if the other party is found to be at fault during the contract, a small penalty is usually charged. Isn’t that right?”

Yuris nodded again this time.

“That’s right. Usually, if it goes to criminal proceedings, that money is paid to the government, but if not, it’s paid to the business partner as compensation.”

“…”

The alchemist, who was about to get ripped off for nothing by picking a fight, bit his lip.

But there was nothing he could do.

It was an issue where Yuris, the commander of the Empire’s 1st Knight Order, was involved as a guarantor, no less.

There were only a handful of people in the Empire who could surpass her in authority.

“A-Alright. I’ll give you 10% more as compensation.”

“Thank you!”

Receiving the thick pouch, I personally loaded the bottles filled with mana water onto their cart.

The blue liquids in the glass bottles, well-packed in crates, sloshed gently.

This should last me comfortably for the next month.

Now that I’ve resolved a big issue, I should focus on magic research from now on.

And on top of that, unexpected additional income.

The alchemist from the Siri Alchemy Workshop returned to the workshop with slumped shoulders.

He spent a considerable amount of money on stress relief, so he must be a little upset.

But what can he do?

‘If you don’t have backing, you get beaten.’

Smiling brightly, I looked at Yuris.

Anyway.

“Is the victory celebration already over?”

“It is.”

“You came straight here as soon as you returned to the capital, I see.”

“Yes.”

“You probably didn’t just come to see my face…”

I met her eyes.

Yuris, meeting my gaze, avoided my eyes.

“Oh, I was wondering if it’s possible to watch a fantasy video today?”

“It is possible, but you’ll have to wait a bit. I need to reset the magic circle.”

“I see. Uh, how long will it take…?”

“30 minutes should be enough. Would you like to wait inside?”

“I will.”

“Ah, and I’ll treat the cost as payment for helping me earlier. I received a much larger sum than the usage fee, you see.”

She nodded.

“Since I received it like this, I’ll provide proper service.”

“Service…?”

“Yes, if there are any situations you want, you can input them directly. Originally, scene modifications cost extra, but I’m doing it for free this time since you helped me.”

“If it’s a new scene, can you make it completely new from the beginning?”

“That’s right.”

I handed her the form.

“I’ve also added an additional service list at the bottom. Please let me know if there are any services you want.”

Yuris’s eyes didn’t seem to want to leave the form.