Chapter 86 – Floor 13: Deja Vu

A massive altar built by stacking bricks that somehow made their way to the depths of this abandoned mine.

To see the full height of the altar, which nearly reached the ceiling, I had to tilt my head back until my neck ached.

“Unnecessarily good craftsmanship.”

The bricks used to build the altar were smooth and glossy, as if polished with cloth, and perfectly aligned.

I ran my finger along the wall of the altar, which had a surface that looked like it had been cut with a hydraulic cutter, then wiped my hand.

Nothing stuck to it or felt greasy, but I couldn’t help thinking that those bastards might have coated it with something strange.

Ptui-

I spat once and slowly climbed the altar stairs.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Though the stairs were perfectly constructed, they showed slight depressions where boots had repeatedly trodden.

Such devotion.

“Why is there so much dust? Are they the type to just buy books and leave them on a shelf?”

Whoof-

At some midpoint on the stairs.

When I blew on the dust-covered book, a cloud of fine particles scattered into the air.

Watching the dust fly through the air, launching an assault mission toward the ground, I felt the immediate need for an air purifier, though I doubted a filter could handle it.

Why can’t filters purify even the air of a massive tunnel?

Lamenting the limitations of modern technology, I tapped away the remaining dust with my hand, revealing a book bound in unpleasant leather.

“Spirit Method… do they normally just toss something like this around?”

Like the brilliant irregular polyhedron I found in the sewers, this book was emitting the magical power that maintained the disgusting decor I’d seen on my way here.

Similarly, it was a required item for the true completion of a specific mini-boss and would ultimately need to be destroyed.

I attached the Spirit Method book to my waist without opening it.

In D.D, you couldn’t use it anyway, so opening it wasn’t an option, but I instinctively felt that checking its contents wouldn’t be a wise choice.

I’d probably go mad and become one of those apostates scattered around.

I needed to be an isekai hero like Cortes who came to punish evil heretics, not some mob who makes human skin clothes and extracts hearts to turn the sun.

“If you act up, tentacle-eyes, I’ll kill you.”

Whether it was watching or not, I issued this warning and gathered the useful items strewn around the room.

I stuffed the newly found items into the mimic—a magic staff, strength potion, and sheep bomb I hadn’t seen in a while.

The mimic would sort it all out.

After thoroughly looting the heretic altar, I headed out and stroked my chin, looking at the meat pillar still sprawled on the floor.

‘Is there enough space inside the mimic? Actually, what hasn’t dropped in this area?’

The only things I’d obtained from this area so far were items purchased from the suspicious merchant, items charitably donated by the apostates just now, and occasional equipment drops.

Equipment got swapped out and the old pieces discarded, so they wouldn’t take up mimic space, meaning I was in a consumable drought.

I put the meat pillar inside the mimic too.

“I wonder if it can be returned to normal…”

Since I knew a way to restore Kali after she was infected by the Bell of the End, I figured I could ask Fluid about this too.

There was still one question I wanted to ask, but that could wait until Floor 25.

I decided to ask after finishing this area, and naturally my gaze shifted to the side.

A flower occasionally twitching its crimson body and emitting unpleasant spores and secretions.

Looking at the Meat Flower, which exuded a decadent and lewd atmosphere different from the Meat Pillar, I briefly opened my status window, sighed shortly, and slowly approached.

“Honestly, turning it back is problematic too…”

Even if I restored it to human form, it wouldn’t be a powerhouse like the Knight Albert or the Warrior Blue Tongue, but rather an ordinary human like the blacksmith Dave or other criminals from the sewers.

While the sewers had drainage gaps and the tropical forest reportedly had another exit, the upcoming areas likely wouldn’t have such conveniences.

This abandoned mine region was heading deeper toward the core of the mountain range.

‘I’ll think about it later.’

The mimic’s weight increased by the equivalent of one onahole.

***

“So why are you tied up here?”

“Don’t look at me like that. There’s a tragic story here that even you would lament.”

“What, did you bet with Blue Tongue on who would betray the other first?”

“That’s harsh…”

I scratched my head with the axe handle as I looked at the familiar-looking stew ingredient tied up with ropes and kindly escorted by apostates.

The identity of this apostate stew’s secret ingredient was none other than tough, old meat!

“Old I may be, but not tough. If you stew me long enough. Wine needs to age for its flavor, doesn’t it?”

“Way to brag.”

I rubbed my forehead as Albert, with nothing else to appeal to, now promoted his value as a food ingredient.

Despite my exasperated expression, he shrugged his shoulders—the only part of his body he could move—further irritating me.

Tap, tap-

The ropes easily cut away as I scraped them with my axe.

Instantly freed from being dinner ingredient #1, Albert stretched his wrists and joints.

“You’ve grown quite a bit in such a short time.”

“If I couldn’t handle this much, I wouldn’t be able to move forward.”

“Is that so? Hearing that makes my whole body tremble with fear.”

Fear my ass.

I made a sour expression while watching Albert put on his equipment that the apostates had taken from him.

“What were you doing? You almost died.”

To be honest, apostates aren’t that strong. Except for 『Blood Magic』, their combat power is lower than the Orc followers or Lizard followers from the previous area.

With all the other threats in Osiris’s Labyrinth, it seemed unlikely that Albert, who had broken through it alone, would lose to such creatures.

“But I survived. Thanks to you rescuing me.”

As Albert tried to laugh it off as if no explanation was needed, I kicked the head of an apostate lying on the ground.

Splat!

“What are you doing? Blood is splattering.”

“It looked bland, so I added some seasoning.”

Koreans do say food needs to be red to stimulate the appetite.

In that sense, I probably couldn’t be a pure-blooded Korean. Even if that food ingredient #1 turned red, it wouldn’t look appetizing.

To think I was actually mixed blood! What a surprising revelation.

“Anyway, what about Blue Tongue?”

“I’ve been separated from that monster you like since we entered this heretic’s den. Well, if he’s not dead, he must be somewhere.”

I expected as much. This old species-hating geezer would act like that.

Despite my gaze, Albert merely stroked his half-cut beard without saying anything more.

“Actually, there seems to be a leader of the heretics around here. I was being guided to him. Those friends you slaughtered were taking me there.”

Albert looked at the corpses of the apostates sprawled on the floor, then kicked one of them.

Splat-!

With a sharp sound, the apostate’s head flew and rolled like a ball.

It splattered blood around, so I gave him a smack.

“Ugh..! My hand stings…”

Apparently, Albert had deliberately allowed himself to be captured by the apostates to find the next floor’s mini-boss.

What a bold old man to risk death like that. Or perhaps just reckless.

“That’s disgusting. Why kick something like that?”

“Didn’t you kick one first…?”

Albert must have seen me as a rude person without manners, kicking trash randomly left on the street.

At such an unjust assessment, I raised my fist as an excellent antipsychotic treatment to educate Albert, but he turned away with a ahem clearing of his throat.

I wonder why he would slander someone with as strong a law-abiding spirit as me…

I trembled, afraid of the world.

“So what now? The fastest and surest way to find the leader just disappeared.”

“Hmm…”

Looking down at the ones butchered after I casually waved Slime in front, I pondered.

‘Maybe I should have rescued him during dinner preparations.’

According to Albert, I had destroyed his sure way to find the apostate leader, so we were now walking the corridors of the abandoned mine to find our target.

Step by step forward, treading on the mine cart rails.

I checked the map while Albert kept watch around us.

The things we could find on Floor 13 were Naud’s alcohol, the Floor 14 mini-boss, and, potentially, the Parasite Mage Mateo.

As I was hoping for at least one of the three to appear, I noticed something blocking the rails in the distance.

“There’s something ahead.”

“By the shape, it’s not a person or a spider… a box?”

A rectangular object about the size of a person, not moving and seemingly waiting for us on the rails.

Albert and I glanced at each other and nodded simultaneously.

“It’s a mine cart.”

“A mine cart indeed.”

It was a mine cart.

Though the mine had long been closed and the dwarves gone, a cart or two might still remain.

Upon closer inspection, it seemed usable despite some rust.

“Hmm… it still seems functional. My legs are getting sore, shall we ride it?”

Albert was already climbing onto the cart, tapping it clang- clang- as if inviting me to get in.

“Are you crazy?”

There’s no way I would ride a mine cart with no safety verification.

“Let’s get on right now.”

What a real man does.

***

RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE────!!!

A massive sound echoing throughout the abandoned mine. The ungreased wheels rattle as they race along the rails.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! SLOW DOWN!!! SLOW IT DOWN!!!”

“Urrrgh..!”

Albert pulled strongly on the brake lever to reduce the speed of the wildly accelerating mine cart.

His bulging veins and trembling arms showed how much force he was applying.

Clunk.

“Clunk?”

I turned my head at that ominous sound.

Albert, stroking his chin while holding the brake lever in his hand.

Holding, not gripping.

“Oh dear, it’s broken.”

“YOU SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!”

The broken mine cart instantly became a runaway express, racing through the abandoned mine.