Chapter 14 – Floor 3. Dilemma

When you spend all day exploring these dark, damp, dirty underground sewers, thoughts like this occasionally come to mind.

What would happen if I gathered things I could stack and climbed up through the hole in the ceiling?

Of course, there probably wouldn’t be enough objects in this dungeon to stack high enough to reach that hole, which looked about 30 meters high, and whoever threw me in here probably wouldn’t just stand by and watch.

‘Are they watching?’

If they were watching, I raised my middle finger and fed it generously in 36 directions, telling them to eat shit.

“Haha! Moron! What can you do from there, watching? What can you do besides eating shit?”

SWOOSH— SWOOSH SWOOSH—

After giving sign language representing a mountain to the perverted anonymous poster ㅇㅇ(112.311) who might be voyeuristically watching in various poses, I felt much better.

This was a far superior mood-changing method than “try this pose while looking in the mirror when you feel bad.”

“I should patent this exercise quickly! Everyone’s mood will improve, and people will be liberated from depression. Then I’ll receive the Nobel Peace Prize and run for president!”

And then erase the anonymous poster from this world.

“Eliminating every single anonymous poster from this world without leaving any behind, that is the wish of all humanity.”

An utterly perfect plan.

No one could find any problems with this plan.

CRACK—

Suddenly, the sensation of stepping on something and the sound of it breaking.

Following that sound with my gaze, I saw a long bone that looked like a human leg bone split in half under my foot.

Apparently, I hadn’t noticed it while throwing this crazy fit.

“It’s probably not a criminal’s corpse.”

For some reason, when a criminal dies, rat swarms quickly gather to diligently gnaw away not just the flesh and organs but even the bones, so such a skeleton wouldn’t remain.

Moreover, despite being submerged in the dirty sewer water, it was relatively clean except for some moss, and looking at this bone reminded me of something.

“Is this that thing?”

If so, there should be something nearby.

SPLASH— SPLASH—

After sweeping the area around the skeleton with my foot for several minutes, looking for what came to mind—

Something bumped into my boot and rose to the surface with bubbles.

It seemed my guess about the skeleton’s identity was correct.

The object floating to the water’s surface was a hand-sized wooden alligator statue.

It appeared to have been carved with considerable effort, with the alligator’s characteristic blunt yet saw-like teeth and bumpy scales intricately depicted.

『Handmade Alligator Statue』
【An alligator statue made with care. Its owner lies at the bottom of these cold sewers. “Besha” is written on the sole of its foot.】

“My guess was right.”

The skeleton submerged in this water is an object related to the story, though ambiguous to call an NPC.

If you interact with it, you could learn the skeleton’s name, but newbies usually click it a few times and move on, thinking it’s nothing.

That’s understandable since the text that appears along with the name “Jeff’s Remains” is just “…” and the alligator statue has no use effect, making it virtually trash.

Due to backpack space constraints, most people discard it without even checking the name in the text.

Then they pick it up in tears during their next run.

“This time it’s Besha.”

But this item’s true value is demonstrated at the boss fight on Floor 5.

The sewer area’s boss is an extremely large alligator.

Yes, in English: Big Fucking Alligator. Official name: King of the Sewers.

An alligator of insane size, measuring 10×4 if a player is considered 1×1.

Since it’s an enemy modeled after the urban legend of sewer alligators, it follows the original story: a pet alligator that someone in the village raised long ago accidentally fell into the sewers, somehow survived, and now reigns as the ruler of the sewers.

“So Jeff was the owner who raised that fucking huge alligator…”

The name Jeff wasn’t particularly important, but what truly mattered was Besha.

The name written on the bottom of the alligator statue plays a significant role in getting past the King of the Sewers.

“You call out the alligator’s name while throwing the statue, and while it’s distracted, you sneak to the next floor.”

A trick using the bait system?

No, it’s probably not a trick since it’s an intended feature.

It should be viewed as a strategy or route.

It’s also a method frequently used by oil players who want to breeze through the early stages quickly.

‘What should I do?’

To be honest, unless items are exceptionally good, the King of the Sewers is difficult to defeat by specs alone.

Of course, perhaps as a consideration for this, several skip routes like this exist, but apart from this method, they require a lot of preparation and are generally bothersome.

But there was one problem with this.

There’s a skill you can obtain by examining the King of the Sewers’ corpse if you have this alligator statue.

And the problem is that routes that don’t directly confront the King of the Sewers don’t allow you to examine its corpse.

‘I’d like to have that skill.’

The skill that can only be obtained by directly confronting the King of the Sewers had excellent synergy with me right now.

‘Can I handle it?’

I have onaholes. Onahole Creation, which has excellent performance except for its name and usage method.

Severa, whom I subjugated this time, is a nuker whose DPS early-game players can’t even compare to.

‘If I had just one more onahole to put in front, I think I could definitely do it.’

There was still plenty of time to consider.

***

Indeed, from Floor 3 onward, things were different: traps appeared whenever I thought about them, and higher-tier enemies began to increase, so despite exploring for nearly 15 hours, not even half of the map was filled in.

And after Jeff’s remains, the number of objects I discovered was zero.

This level of bullshit was unparalleled. If story objects have fixed appearances, how nice would it be if other things were fixed too?

No healing spring, no lucky well, no star sanctuary, no magic pot, and not even the suspicious merchant who should definitely be on this floor—how could I not find any of them?

“KYEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! At this rate, I’ll dry up and die! You fucking anonymous bastard!!! Give me objects!!!”

All I’ve seen all day, over and over, are traps and enemies relentlessly targeting my life and back.

In this damn dungeon, it’s clear that no one is on my side.

“Sorry, but die!”

“F-fuck! As if I’m not already in a shitty mood, you want to piss me off more!”

I swung my sword toward the criminal who was shouting like a World War II samurai charging with a banzai before attacking—if you’re going to ambush someone, do it quietly.

CLANG—!

A sharp metallic sound and lightly sparking embers.

Unfortunately, the criminal’s axe strike aimed at my back was in vain.

“H-how!”

“As if I’d be caught by someone who shouts like that, you moron.”

The criminal, whose attack was blocked, sweated profusely in apparent confusion and exerted all his strength to push the sword away with his axe.

I also applied force to resist him.

Both our arms trembled in the resulting deadlock.

‘Kill this bastard.’

Honestly, I don’t care whether a criminal, who’s no different from a trash mob, lives or dies.

Even if I kill them, they’re just garbage that doesn’t accumulate karma.

But it’s inevitable to feel resistance when they have a human appearance, even if they’re just bundles of data made of 0s and 1s.

“You bastard… what are you suddenly doing?”

So I spoke to him first.

Maria and Severa didn’t just spout text dialogue; they clearly understood what I said and responded accordingly.

The criminal, with a thick beard and a sturdy build suggesting he did physical labor, swallowed as he looked at me with innocent eyes that trembled, perhaps out of anxiety.

Anxiety, confusion, excitement.

Each reaction conveyed emotions that were so human-like that I couldn’t help but clench my molars.

“Huh— huh..! I, I, I have no choice if I want to live! To live, I must kill..! It’s, it’s all a misunderstanding! If I return alive, I’ll, I’ll surely clear up the misunderstanding. I must, I must have that!!!”

“Ugh…”

My ears went numb from his sudden roar-like shout.

But one thing was clear: this criminal was in a state of extreme excitement.

With just my grimace, the balance of power that was barely maintaining collapsed, and the axe began to press down on the sword, pushing it back.

“Ngh..!”

SLASH—!

[You took 12 damage.]

Finally, the axe struck down on my shoulder, causing blood to spurt.

“ARGH!!!”

“Heh, heuk..! So-sorry… no, die!!!”

As expected, with base Strength 10 without invested points, I couldn’t win a strength contest against a criminal who seemed to have higher base Strength.

What’s done is done.

In the anger rising from the pain in my shoulder, I suppressed my resistance and counterattacked with a pommel strike from my collapsed posture.

WHACK!

Though I just struck however I could, fortunately it connected, and I felt the sensation of crushing muscle as the criminal screamed.

“KUHEEUGH! Ugh…”

“Haaa… fuck.”

The ensuing exchange was a brawl too shameful to call combat.

Block as we blocked, dodge as we dodged, hit as we hit.

It would be considered a mediocre fight if seen by a third party, but as if that didn’t matter at all, we swung sword and axe at each other.

If we lost our weapons, we clenched our fists and struck.

If we fell, we grabbed legs and knocked each other down.

And the last one standing was…

“Haa… haa… fucking hell…”

At my feet was the criminal, unconscious with his eyes rolled back.

Fortunately, this criminal didn’t know how to fight, or I might have almost lost.

And I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened after that.

“Phew… f-fuck… goddam fuck…”

I could only breathe heavily and curse while looking at the criminal.

‘Kill him? Should I kill him?’

Blood flowed from his torn cheek where I had hit him, and a high whistling sound came from his nose as he breathed with difficulty.

My hand holding the silver longsword trembled.

‘He’s… a person. If I kill this bastard, does that make me a murderer?’

Nobody would know that I killed him anyway.

And didn’t he try to kill me first? This is self-defense.

I swallowed and raised my sword, aiming it at the unconscious criminal.

***

“Oh boy… you stupid sucker…”

A dark cavern.

The smell of musty dust, burning firewood, and a slime wriggling on my knee.

And in the corner, the criminal lies asleep, tightly bound with rope.