Chapter 28 – I Love You (1)

What words were necessary? How should he even begin?

“…”

Cariel had nothing to say. He felt no burning questions for Elhermina, no pressing curiosity. He was still adrift in the wilderness, a pale, colorless expanse where he chased… something.

“…” Yet, something was different. If he gave up now, the contract with the Demon King would activate.

[One: Cariel must defeat Luelde, his father and the Hero, and obtain his submission.]

“…” That wasn’t the problem. The additional clause was:

[Should he waver or lose his resolve, the most wretched and agonizing despair shall befall him and all he holds dear, continuing eternally, even after death, until his bloodline is extinguished. (This excludes his father, Luelde, his mother, Ermina, and his unborn sibling.)]

The exclusion of his family was likely a strategic move by the Demon King. She’d anticipated his potential for self-destruction, for taking his own life as a final act of defiance.

He’d considered it, more often than he cared to admit. If you’re so displeased with me, how about I die right here, right now? But… it was a hollow threat. Even if he succeeded, his mother would find a way to bring him back. The thought made the act meaningless.

And what about dying elsewhere? He wouldn’t be able to witness their reactions, their grief. It was a petty, selfish thought, but it had stayed his hand.

Now, though… he found himself afraid of connection, of forming bonds. If he failed, his despair wouldn’t be his alone.

Someone might scoff, You’re letting a maid dictate your actions? A commoner? Are you insane?

It doesn’t matter. Even that small act of kindness, that flicker of warmth… he hadn’t forgotten. It wasn’t love. It was simply… he couldn’t bear the thought of causing another’s suffering.

“I love you.”

“…” …? What?

“What…?”

“It seems you’re finally awake.”

Was she joking? Her expression was unreadable. He almost thought he’d imagined it.

“I mean it. You didn’t mishear, so there’s no need to pretend.”

“…Wait. Just… wait a minute.” What was this? Where was this coming from?

“And that’s why… I’m sorry.”

Sorry?

“Sorry… for me?”

“I…” She closed her eyes, as if struggling to speak. A soft sound escaped her lips, and then she opened her eyes, her gaze intense.

“I’m not eloquent, Cariel. You know that.”

“…” She’d dropped her usual formal tone, and it did make her seem less composed, though the aura of authority remained, a regal presence he couldn’t ignore.

“My greatest mistake… was overestimating you.”

“Overestimating… me?”

“Yes. I foolishly believed that even without my protection, you would rise above it all.”

“…”

“It wasn’t just me. Father believed it too. And Mother. Sir Bariel. Even your father. Lady Ermina… well, perhaps she saw things differently.”

“…”

“But in the end… we are all responsible for what happened.”

“You’re not to blame.” Cariel’s voice was steady. Even if they were to discuss that day five years ago, she hadn’t been there. By the time she returned, it was over.

“Even so… I bear the guilt of inaction.”

“You just admitted your pride kept you from stopping Alessius. And now you’re talking about guilt?”

“And hasn’t that, ultimately, led to your unhappiness?”

“…” Was she always this blunt? Her expressions were awkward, but her sincerity resonated. The Elhermina he knew was stoic, unreadable. Even under duress, her expression never wavered. At the Academy, even the instructors treated her with deference. She was beyond their reach. Perhaps in magic, the dynamics were different, but even there, she’d surpassed the level of a typical prodigy.

“I know you and Eras shared a dream.”

“…”

“And… you told me about it. After you returned.”

That was… unexpected.

“I did? You and me?”

“…Your memory is hazy, it seems.” A flicker of sadness crossed her face, quickly masked.

“You told me… you wanted to go on an adventure. You said the world was vast, full of wonders you wanted to see. The uncharted territories, the burning deserts, the highest mountains, the ends of the earth, the edge of the sky. Even the forbidden lands, shrouded in mystery and fear… you wondered if our fear wasn’t simply… ignorance.”

And those words… they planted a seed in my heart. A new dream. A new hope.

“I… don’t remember.” He felt a strange unease, his words stumbling.

She waved it away. “It’s alright. You were… very ill at the time.”

That narrowed it down.

“I don’t know the details. Sir Luelde remained silent, but I know… it led to the elves fearing us, making concessions.”

And…

“I also heard from Father… that Sir Luelde nearly destroyed the World Tree. It wasn’t just a rumor.”

“…” He’d never heard that before. What he did know was that his time as a hostage had ended after their visit to the elven lands. He’d woken up one day, back in the Empire. But the World Tree…?

[Shattered ■ will be. The ■■ and ■■. You’ll ■■ to ■■. Will ■■ become ■■?]

–I see.– So that was the cause.

–I suspected as much.– The Demon King gazed down at the forest canopy, then up at the night sky.

–Did the elders know?–

…….

……….

–Hah. A pointless question.– What could she expect from mere remnants? Still, it seemed the effects had been less severe within the capital.

She chuckled softly, looking back at the void.

Spirits? Those things? Spirits? Even now, long after their physical forms had vanished, the mere thought was repulsive.

–So, they only managed to mitigate it?– What a coincidence. Or was it? Perhaps it was inevitable. A convergence of factors, a fertile ground for…

–They were desperate, weren’t they?–

…….

……….

–Heh.– She too was a wraith, in a sense. But she was different. Her essence, her very being, was on a different level. She wasn’t bound to a physical form, dependent on the material world for her identity.

–The difference is fundamental.–

Regardless, this was entertaining. To think the princess would confess so boldly…

–What impeccable timing.–

But… alas… it was too late. Even if Cariel accepted her confession, he couldn’t stop now. The wheels were in motion. Her confession might even serve as a catalyst, fanning the flames of his despair and desperation. The embers were already glowing; someone else had already struck the flint.

–He has tasted fear.– Had he remained ignorant, perhaps he could have found happiness. Ignorance, after all, could be bliss. But now… he knew. And knowing, he could no longer turn back.

If he allowed himself to imagine, even for a moment, those he cared for suffering eternal torment, he wouldn’t be able to surrender, not even to despair. His nature wouldn’t allow it.

–Some things… you simply can’t forget.–

Still, she understood. He’d believed he had nothing left to lose. No meaningful connections, no one precious to him.

But perhaps… he simply didn’t remember.

And if his failure condemned those he cared for to eternal suffering… could he truly smile? Or even… cry?

====

Sweat dripped from Cariel, not a cold sweat, but the kind that came from exertion. He felt like he’d forgotten something vital, but the thought of remembering filled him with dread. Fear coiled in his gut, tightening his chest, constricting his throat. His tongue felt thick, his jaw trembled.

“Cariel?”

“…” That voice, that single word, pulled him back from the brink. He knew what he had to do. He hadn’t forgotten.

Deep breaths. Just breathe. He straightened his posture, drawing air deep into his lungs. When his mind faltered, his breath was the first to go. Steady his breathing…

“…?” Where had he learned that?

Don’t panic. Just breathe. Slowly. Don’t think about anything.

As his breathing evened out, the turmoil in his mind began to subside.

“…?” It was… strange. He’d barely left the capital, yet he felt… overwhelmed. Was it Elhermina’s confession? Had that unsettled him so deeply?

“Let’s go back,” she said softly.

And in that instant, his focus sharpened.

“…No. That’s not happening.” The words came out clearly, decisively. His gaze steadied, the blurry world snapping into focus. The damp, earthy scent of the forest filled his senses, grounding him.

“That won’t do,” he said, his voice firm.