Chapter 28: A Twisted Fate

A long time passed.

“H-how is it…? Is it… okay…?”
“You’re getting quite good at it~”

The girl could now hide her ears and tail, living a normal life.

“…Tomorrow’s the GED, right?”
“Yes… I’m… nervous…”

She wanted to go to college. I vowed to help her, in any way I could.

“You’re so smart! You’ll be fine. Just try not to worry too much.”
“Okay!”

She was growing up so beautifully, so strong, so lovely.

“…..”

Escaping the shaman’s destiny had made all the difference. She wouldn’t have survived in this world, burdened with that fate.

“… “

And her soul… it shone brighter than ever.

“…Why…?”
“Hmm? Oh, nothing…”

More beautiful, more radiant.

“You’re… pretty.”
“…Wh-what…?! Seriously…!”

I smiled at her, and she blushed, her reactions becoming more and more endearing with each passing day.

“…Where are you going today?”
“For a walk. Want to come?”

She went out every day, practicing her concealment techniques.

“…It’s good for you to be alone sometimes.”
“I guess…”

I used to accompany her, but she didn’t need me anymore.

“…I’ll be back!”
“Okay~”

She’d hated being alone, but now… she didn’t mind it so much.

“… “

Of course, I didn’t actually leave her alone. I followed, watching from a distance. I had to be ready, in case something happened. Especially in crowded areas.

“……”

I perched on a rooftop, watching her from above. Like a… well, a stalker, I guess.

“…..”

I looked for the shaman, too. Maybe, just maybe, our paths would cross. A chance encounter, a fleeting glimpse…

“…But…”

It never happened. The shaman was gone. Completely vanished.

“……”

The girl was shopping. She’d won some money recently. A lottery, I think. She was spending it carefree.

“…What did rich people do with their money, back in the day…? It’s all a blur now…”

I sat on the rooftop, lost in distant memories, watching her, when…

“…Hmm…?”

Shiver

…a sudden chill ran down my spine.

“… “

I looked towards the girl, scanning her surroundings.

“……”
“Aaaaaah!”

A man with a knife was threatening people, causing chaos.

“Stay back! I’ll kill you!”
“…..”

The girl was right in his path.

Dash

I ran towards him, but…

Whoosh

“…Ah…”

…I forgot. I was a ghost. I passed right through him.

“…Fox…!”
“What?! You! Come here! What did you say?!”

The man spotted her. He grabbed her arm.

“Damn it…!”

I tried to intervene, but I was helpless.

Siren

“Sh*t! When did they—?!”

The police arrived. The man dropped his knife and ran.

“… “
“… “

We stared at each other.

“Phew…”
“Haa…”

We both sighed in relief.

“…Why didn’t you run?”
“I… I don’t know… I just… I thought… someone would… save me… Haha…”

I led her away from the crowd, scolding her gently.

“…Really…”

She trusted me too much. I sighed and took her home.

“I was so scared, but my ears and tail didn’t pop out!”
“…Heehee… Good job.”

She was so proud of herself.

Flop

“But… it was really scary…”
“……”

She collapsed onto the sofa, suddenly exhausted. I smiled, stroking her hair.

“…Be careful next time. I… I can’t always protect you.”
“I know…”

“…Do you think… I’ll pass… tomorrow…? I’m so nervous…”
“Of course you will. It’s not that hard. Even I could pass it…”

We chatted for a while, then I tucked her into bed.

“Don’t worry. I can’t be there with you, but… I’ll be cheering you on.”
“…Okay…”

I let her cuddle my tail.

“…Hee…”

She fell asleep instantly. I watched her for a moment, then…

“……”

Swap

…carefully replaced my tail with a pillow…

Tap

…and slipped out of the house.

“…..…”

I’d forgotten something.

Tap, tap

A crucial fact.

“…Haa…”

My curse.

“…..”

I hadn’t noticed, not at first, too caught up in the happiness of being with her, a dream come true.

“…..”

I…

Splash

…had to kill.

“…..”

I had to encourage these suicides. Every night, drawn to the Han River bridge, my curse compelling me, whether I wanted to or not.

“…Haa…”

I wanted to jump, too.

But I couldn’t. She needed me. And I… I needed her. How could we leave each other?

If I could just… collect these unwanted deaths, fill my quota in secret…

“…She’ll never know…”

But that was a lie.

I knew. I’d known for a while. The knife attack, the near-accidents…

“…..”

It was because of me. My presence, my curse, my need to kill to stay alive… it was putting her in danger.

“…At this rate… I don’t know who’s worse… the shaman… or me…”

I leaned against the bridge railing.

“…Haa…”

Should I leave? I should. But I couldn’t.

“… “

Leaving her… That was the only way to keep her safe. Like I’d left the shaman, choosing revenge over love.

But this time… it was different. This separation… it was necessary. Essential.

“…I can’t…”

But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave her alone. Not again. Not after she’d been so lonely for so long.

“…If I leave…”

She’d blame herself, hurt herself, trapped in a cycle of grief and self-loathing.

She was too kind. Too gentle.

“……”

I had to protect her. Even if it was impossible. Even if I was just a ghost, a powerless spirit.

“…What am I supposed to do…?”

College.

“…..”

Maybe… until she went to college?

“…She’ll… make friends there… People she can rely on…”

Yes. That’s what I’d do. Until she found real love, not this… this distorted, almost-incestuous affection.

“… “

I’d stay… and torment her. Until she found someone else. And then I’d leave.

“……”

But…

“……”

…why did it hurt so much?

“…Ugh…”

Why did the thought of leaving her tear me apart?

“…No… no… that’s not it…”

It was just… a maternal instinct. Nothing more. I’d raised her, after all. That had to be it. It had to be.

“……”

It had to be.

“…It has to be…”.

 

More time passed.

“Yay! I passed! I passed!”
“Really? Haha, congratulations!”

She’d passed the GED. The first time she’d ever succeeded at something she’d set her mind to. She was ecstatic.

“Next stop, college! Heehee…!”
“……”

I watched her, a sudden realization dawning on me.

“…..”

This feeling… this…

“…Haa…”

I tried to control it, to suppress it, to deny it, but…

“…..”

…it was impossible.

“…Are you okay? You look… pale…”
“…Hmm? Oh, it’s nothing… Just… indigestion…”

I lied, but…

“…Should I make you something… easier to digest…?”
“No, it’s fine. My stomach likes your cooking.”

…it was useless.

“O-okay…? Then…”
“…..…”

I loved her.

I vowed to keep it a secret, to leave before she found out, but…

Fumble

“Ow…”
“…Are you okay…?”

She started having accidents. Small cuts, clumsy stumbles, even though she never left the house. It became a regular occurrence.

Crash

“Oww…”
“…Little one…”

“Heehee… I’m just… tired…”
“……”

I was getting worried.

“…..”

If I could just… resurrect… then she wouldn’t get hurt… Or maybe I should just leave… now…

“……”

And then I realized something else.

“…..…”

Splash

Every night, drawn to the bridge, consumed by guilt…

“…Jumpjumpjumpjump…”

…I was encouraging them. Pushing them.

It was… disgusting. I was a monster.

“…Please… just jump…”

I hated myself. Clinging to this happiness, this life… at any cost. It was pathetic.

“…Jump…!”

One man hesitated.

Whoosh

I manifested, my human form solidifying…

Push

…and pushed him.

“…Hngh…!”

Splash

“…..”

I’d killed again. With my own hands.

“…I…”

I’d promised myself I wouldn’t kill again.

“……”

And I’d broken that promise. Completely.

“……..”

I couldn’t feel anything anymore. Not the guilt, not the sorrow. I had to shut it off, or I’d break.

“……”

Kill, or leave. Those were my options.

Step—Splash

Two more. Dead.

“……”

The bridge… a monument to my sins.

“……”

My face became a mask of indifference.

Rustle

“……..”
“…Where do you go… every night…?”

She’d noticed.

“…Oh… you were awake…”
“…I woke up to study… You’ve been leaving every night… since… since we stopped sleeping together…”

Exams. College entrance exams. She was studying so hard, pushing herself to the limit. Nosebleeds every night.

I’d forgotten. What was I doing? What was so important?

“…Don’t overwork yourself. You’ll—”
“…Where do you go? Why won’t you look at me…?”

I couldn’t answer her.

“…I… I had to… take care of something… It’s… nothing to worry about…”
“…What is it…? What’s so…”

I couldn’t tell her.

“…Why… why do you…”

I avoided her gaze.

“…Why… that…”

She looked at me.

“…Why… that look… on your face…?”
“……..”

She saw it.

“…You…”

My decaying soul.

“…Why…? Why won’t you tell me…? What are you doing…?! We don’t… keep secrets…!”
“……..”

All I could offer…

“…I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care anymore! Just… don’t talk to me! Ever!”

Slam

…was a hollow apology.

“…I’m… sorry…”

I couldn’t do this anymore.

“…Little one…”

My selfishness was consuming us both.

“……”

I huddled against her door, my hands covering my face.

“…If… if you hate me… I understand…”

Thump

I whispered, my voice breaking.

“…If… you don’t… like me… I understand…”

My tears flowed freely.

“…But… I…”

“…I… I like you… so much… I want to… hold you… forever…”

I confessed.

“…I don’t ever… want to lose you…”

And I begged.

“…So…”

Please…

“…Please… understand… that… all of this… it’s for you…”

…believe me.

“…Can you… believe me…?”

But…

“……”

…silence. No response. I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my face.

Click

“Ugh…!”

The door opened suddenly, and I fell backwards.

Thud

“Ugh…”

She stood there, her eyes red-rimmed, looking down at me.

“…It’s okay…”
“……”

She helped me up, holding me close.

“…You can tell me… when you’re hurting… I’m… I’m not that oblivious…”
“……..”

Her words tore at my heart.

“…I just… wanted to know…”

I let her lead me back to her room.

“…If you… loved me…”

Flop

She pushed me onto the bed.

“……”

She climbed on top of me.

“……”

In the darkness of her room, the air thick with unspoken emotions…

“…I love you… with all my heart…”
“……..”

…we melted into each other.

“…Chuwp…”

I’d never been kissed like this. So desperate, so consuming.

“Hngh… Ah… Wait… Ugh… Mm…”

I’d never made love like this. So passionate, so… fierce.

“…Open your mouth…”
“…Haa…”

She was on top, her movements rough, almost violent, her passion a terrifying force. I hadn’t expected this. But it wasn’t unpleasant.

I cried out, my voice a mixture of pain and pleasure, for hours.

“……”
“…Don’t… leave me… again…”

She whispered, her voice thick with tears, as we lay there, exhausted.

“…If you’re going to leave… tell me first…”

I nodded, licking her forehead.

“…Mm… What was that…? Are you… a real fox now…?”
“…Heehee…”

I’d hoped for this. This happiness, this connection.

“…Goodnight…”
“…Mm…”

But I never imagined it would be this… perfect.

****

That’s why…

Splash

“……”

…I couldn’t stop.

I didn’t push them anymore, but I still went to the bridge, every night.

Chirp

“…Good luck on your exam.”
“I’ll ace it!”

The day of her exam arrived.

“…..”

I waited for her at a cafe across from the school.

“…..…”

I stared at the sky, watching the time pass slowly. Students started to emerge from the school.

“Fox!”

And then I saw her, a triumphant smile on her face, running towards me.

“…Heehee… be careful, don’t trip—”

I opened my arms to catch her…

Screech, crash

“…No…”

…and she disappeared.

“…Little one…”

She was lying on the street, bleeding.

“… “

I ran to her.

Tap, tap, tap

“Little one! Wake up! Please!”

I shook her gently, calling her name, but she wouldn’t open her eyes.

“Little one…!”

Beep, beep, beep

An ambulance arrived. They took her to the hospital. It wasn’t life-threatening, just a few broken bones. She needed surgery, but she’d be okay.

“…Haa…”

Thud

My legs gave way, and I collapsed onto the ground.

“… “

I sat there, beside her bed, waiting.

Whoosh

“… “

I saw her.

“…Shaman…”

A figure of light, coalescing in the air.

“…You…!”

Grab

She grabbed me by the throat, lifting me off the ground.

“Hngh…!”
“This is your fault!”

Her voice was filled with rage. She was furious.

“Why…?! Why didn’t you stay away from her?! Why?!”
“…Gasp… Ugh…”

But I…

“…Why…?”

…I wasn’t going to apologize. Not to her. Not after this.

“…Now… you come back… Ugh…”

I’d expected her to appear, eventually. Especially after something like this.

“…You have… no shame…”
“Shut up…!”

Shame? She’d abandoned her daughter when she needed her most. And now she showed up, acting like she cared?

“Hngh…!”

You…

“…You…!”

…deserved this.

Release

“You have no right… to call yourself a mother…!”

I twisted free, kicking her in the side.

Thwack

“Gah…!”
“She wanted you! More than anything!”

I punched her in the face.

“She just wanted you to be there! Even if it meant… suffering…!”

I raised my fist again, but…

“Do you think… I didn’t know that?!”

Block

…she caught it.

Flash

“Ugh…!”

A blinding light enveloped me.

Crash

“Haa…!”

I landed on a grassy field.

“…She would have survived… even without you.”
“When…?”

I couldn’t accept that.

“When?! You… you abandoned her! You, the all-powerful shaman…!”
“…You incompetent fox…!”

Her rage intensified. She unleashed her power.

Rumble

“Hngh…!”

Rocks rained down from the sky. A giant stone statue flew towards me, smashing me into a tree.

Zap

“Gah…!”

Lightning struck, burning my fur.

Crack

“Haa…!”

I collapsed, but…

Thud

“…She didn’t need you…!”

…I had to tell her. She hadn’t seen the girl’s suffering. She didn’t know.

“…She was… breaking… Her soul… shattering…”
“Shut up…!”

“…You wouldn’t understand…”

“…You…!”

She lost control, her power surging.

Grab

“…”

I seized the opportunity, lunging forward.

“Gah…!”
“……”

I raked my claws across her face before she could react.

“………”

“…Damn it…”

Whoosh

“Ugh…!”

She vanished, reappearing behind me, and then…

Blast

“Gah…”

…a beam of pure energy struck me in the head. I went flying.

“…Haa… Haa… Haa…”

My head throbbed. I was dizzy, disoriented.

Thud

“…You… still haven’t… apologized…”
“Shut up and die…!”

I’d made mistakes, but so had she.

Zap, stab, crack, rip, tear

“…Haa…”

I endured her attacks, one after another.

Rumble, crash, boom

Stone rain, a giant statue, a meteor shower…

“Cough… Cough…”

…a flaming sword, thorny vines, crushing rocks…

“Haa… Haa…!”

She unleashed all her fury on me.

“……”

Finally, unable to breathe, I collapsed.

“…Haa… Haa…!”

She approached, ready to end it.

“…She…”

I had to tell her. One last thing.

“…She needed… someone… to… support her…”

“…She needed… you…”

“……”

Clench

She froze, her fists clenched, her shoulders shaking.

“…I…!”

And then she started to cry.

“That’s why I left…! Because you were like this…!”

She sobbed,

“Always… always… hurting me… making me suffer…!”

I listened in silence.

“Why…?! Why do you keep… tormenting me…?!”
“……”

I had nothing to say.

“Hngh…”

I’d run out of words.

“If I don’t guide the spirits… they’ll become a rift… that could destroy the human world! Who else will do it… if not me…!”
“……..”

I closed my eyes.

“Do you think… I wanted to leave her…?! My child… suffering… alone…!”
“……”

It was too late.

“……”

We’d both made our choices.

Whoosh

“……”

But then she healed me.

“…Haa…”

Tears streaming down her face, she healed my wounds.

“…That’s enough.”
“…What…?”

I stood up. And the first thing I said was,

“…Stay with your daughter.”
“……..”

I told her to be with her child, instead of me.

“…I’m sorry… for misunderstanding…”

And I apologized.

“…For being stubborn…”
“…But… my duty…”

She looked at me, confused.

“…I’ll take care of it. Your duty.”

I’d do it for her.

“…..”
“…If you don’t trust me… let me do it until… until she’s safe… I don’t want to… hurt you anymore…”

I stood up, slowly.

“…I… I wasn’t meant to be with you… I knew… but I was… stubborn…”

She stared at me, then…

“…I… I’m sorry, too…”

…spoke.

“…For hurting you… And for… never coming back…”
“……”

But I couldn’t accept her apology. Not now.

“…Don’t apologize to me.”
“……..”

I looked at her and smiled.

“…We always end up like this, don’t we? Fighting… then making up…”

“…You… you insufferable fox… Always trying to laugh things off…”
“…What else can I do? You’d kill me otherwise.”

Another dramatic reunion.

“…You were so busy… weren’t you?”
“…I… I was scared.”

I heard her unspoken words.

“…Even though she’s my daughter… I couldn’t… face her…”

I encouraged her.

“…I…”
“…It’s okay.”

“…You can be forgiven now.”
“…..”

She looked at me, then…

Smack

“Ow!”
“You… you slept with my daughter! You…!”

She punched me.

“Why…? She’s not just… anyone’s daughter… She’s your daughter—”
“That’s even worse! Ahh!”

Smack

She was getting stronger. What had she been doing all this time?

“…Aren’t you going to say goodbye…? She’ll be upset…”
“…If I say goodbye… I’ll want to say more… and it’ll never end…”

But it was time to go.

“…I’ll trust you with her.”
“…Go…”

She handed me a dagger. I looked at it, then at her, and smiled.

“…Home.”

Step

I turned and walked away.

“…Be careful…”

Her voice, barely a whisper, stopped me. I turned back.

“…Tell her… I love her! And tell her… I’m sorry…!”, I said.
“You come back here, and I’ll kill you! You hear me, you damn fox?!”

I ran, as if fleeing for my life.

From then on, I wandered the Spirit World, guiding lost souls.

“… “

I watched over the girl from afar, but I couldn’t stay close. It hurt too much.

“…I’m sorry…”

Every time I saw her, the words echoed in my heart. I was sorry for everything. For hurting her, for leaving her, for all of it.

“……”

If there was a way to atone…

“……..”

But there wasn’t. So I’d rot alone, my guilt my only companion.

“…Haa… Haa…”

But even in this spectral form, I couldn’t escape my nature. The heat, the need…

“…Hngh…”

I found a girl, her scent familiar, and sought release in her dreams. But her soul… it was a mixture of theirs. And I, drawn to her, found myself falling in love, truly in love, for the first time.

“……”

That’s why… I had to save Semin.

“……..”

I couldn’t protect them, but I could protect her.

Semin. My love. The first one to love me, the first one I truly loved in return.

Whoosh

Guide me, stars.

“…Semin…”

Grant me the strength to overcome this curse, to complete my final task.

Flutter

“……”

Give me courage.