Chapter 70: The Happiest Days of Our Lives

The colours etched into my retina paint over every living moment, refusing to be forgotten even for an instant.

Pure white, with hair that sometimes glimmers with a black sheen.

Eyes that gaze only at me, a brilliant red more radiant than any jewel.

Flawless, smooth, white skin, its scent lingering. The splash of water, the contour of her hair—as white as pure bone—clinging to her damp skin.

No matter what happens, even in death, even if my soul is cast into a boiling cauldron meant for sinners, even if I freeze in the deepest glaciers of hell, I could never forget.

“Ah, there.”

Lost in thought, blood splattered near my eye.

This wouldn’t do.

I had to finish the process of creating the other pieces cleanly, so I could face Seoa with a peaceful mind.

No, perhaps a peaceful mind had long since vanished.

Inside my head, Ahn Yujin the artist and Ahn Yujin who loves Lee Seoa were in constant conflict.

Splish, splash.

I had drained most of the blood by making incisions in the neck and ankles at the beginning, but when you’re cutting off limbs, it’s inevitable that pieces of blood and fat will fly.

It would be wonderful if I could spend the final moments of Lee Seoa’s, Sanguine Obsidia’s, life with her, to engrave my existence into her end, and to complete her by killing her as cleanly as this corpse.

I shook my head, pushing the thought away.

It wasn’t that I was afraid she would turn on me and kill me if I tried to kill her.

Nor was I worried that drugs, knives, or saws wouldn’t work on her.

Perhaps before, but now, if I asked for her life, she would willingly give it.

Even if I said I wanted to see her suffer and be tortured, she would go through a rather long process of being horribly shocked, thinking I had abandoned her, then shocked again that I truly wanted it, but I was certain she would ultimately give me her life.

The problem, I thought as I packed the severed limbs into bags, was with me.

The problem, if there was one, was that Seoa was too lovely.

She always had been, but she grew more lovely with each passing day.

Even more so after losing an arm and revealing her Sanguine Obsidia form to me.

If her body were to be harmed, that experience had to be given by me.

That’s why losing her right arm to a magical girl was so regrettable.

So much so that if I had the power, I would want to kill every magical girl in the world.

But it was still alright.

After losing her right arm and being cut off from the world once more, she had begun to rely on me completely for every little part of her daily life.

When she eats, I stick to her right side and put food in her mouth.

When she washes, I go in with her and scrub the parts her left arm can’t reach.

When she changes into her pajamas before bed, I hold and secure the loosened right sleeve and button it up for her.

The day I first took her outside, I had wondered what it would be like to make her feel betrayed and abandoned by the world, to have her fall into my arms and become completely dependent on me.

It seemed that wish had come true, albeit in a slightly different form than I had imagined.

At times, I even felt the urge to touch and violate that lovely body, a crystallization of beauty.

I had been deliberately avoiding thoughts of physical love, afraid of falling deeper for her.

“I love you, ah…”

After cutting off all the limbs and roughly wiping away the bloodstains, I severed the head with a wire saw.

Previously, upon completing a piece, upon witnessing that moment of death, a sense of elation and joy would fill the depths of my mind, and I would experience a state of ecstasy, as if a dawn-bright light were shining upon my soul.

But now, I was merely lost in joy and happiness, thinking only of her lips, of her innocent, childlike form begging for love, like a baby bird chirping for food from its mother.

It seems Ahn Yujin, Lee Seoa’s lover, is happier than Ahn Yujin, the creator of artworks.

I gathered the packs containing the limbs and head in one place, wrapped the torso in a large vinyl sheet, and placed it in a larger pack.

Now, I just needed to clean the outer surface thoroughly, load it into the car, and dump it somewhere suitable.

In fact, since I was now planning to leave this neighborhood for good, it didn’t matter if all the body parts I’d disposed of so far were discovered.

They were people who had no one to look for them but me, and as long as I kept my mouth shut, they would be left as corpses for years.

There was no longer a need to meticulously dismember and dispose of them.

“The dignity of death.”

But since they died holding onto precious memories of me, without ever knowing my true nature until the end, it would be better for them to be neatly arranged rather than scattered miserably after death.

Once a piece is dead, it doesn’t really matter what happens to the body left behind, but this was my way of finishing things.

“…What kind of face will Seoa have, what words will she leave behind when she dies?”

I couldn’t suppress a twisted smile of joy. Love of two different kinds—the fake love poured into my artworks and the human love driven by instinct and desire—mixed and twisted, emerging as laughter.

…Now, I should just tidy up this messy room and focus on getting rid of the smell of blood from my body and the car.

I am, of course, aware that what I’ve been doing is murder, and that I could be arrested someday.

I just hope that day comes after Lee Seoa’s death.

As long as I am with her, Sanguine Obsidia, my life after she is caught or killed by someone other than me would be ‘meaningless,’ so the possibility of me being caught by the police is not even worth discussing.

Therefore, I only tidied the room, cluttered with body parts, flesh, and splattered blood, to a reasonably presentable state and meticulously erased the smell of blood.

Damaging the image Seoa has of me… might not be a bad thing from the perspective of an artist, but as Ahn Yujin who loves her, I absolutely want to avoid it.

“This is a complete role reversal.”

Hiding the killer’s identity has become my part.

I have no intention of confessing the truth to her, and I never will, except for the final moment we share together.

After finishing the cleanup, I drove to the edge of the mountains where the road ended and tossed the body into the dense thicket.

It was a location where, even if discovered by a person, it would likely be after most of it had been damaged by monsters or wild animals.

The smell of damp earth clung to the humid air.

The scent of blood must have been trapped in the vacuum-sealed packs.

It’s hard for a person to notice smells from their own body and familiar objects, so I had thoroughly cleaned the car, the seats, and myself, and changed my clothes, but I was still worried that the smell of the corpse might have seeped in.

It was already evening, and the sky was beginning to turn red, so I couldn’t spend any more time.

A corpse.

This corpse was the last one. The last living person among those assigned to Ahn Yujin, the contract worker at the community support center.

There’s a question that has been repeating in my mind every day since Sanguine Obsidia, who lost her arm, woke up.

What should I do?

How can we escape the threat of magical girls and the authorities, and live, just the two of us?

Whether we chose to hide or flee, I had to tidy up our surroundings.

Lee Seoa, who had suddenly lost her right arm, couldn’t go out to the community support center with Ahn Yujin like before.

So, I saw to the deaths of all the people I was in charge of.

It was fortunate that they were all already complete, people just waiting for their final day.

I had killed the last person only after confirming that their memories with me were vivid enough to paint over even their childhood memories.

There were still some cases that were a bit regrettable, but for Seoa’s sake, I could easily give up on the perfection of my art.

Lee Seoa herself had the flaw of not being able to confess her identity on her own, making her less than perfect, but she was becoming a greater work of art.

The order was wrong, but she had confessed almost everything about Sanguine Obsidia with her own lips, and now she rarely talked about the people she met at the center or worldly affairs, so it could be said she had become perfect in a different way.

I, of course, report to the department head and others that there are no issues with my work and that everyone is doing well.

They’ll probably think everything is fine until the day I leave.

I find it to be an utterly ridiculous welfare system.

…Anyway, now I can finally focus solely on Lee Seoa.

Since she can no longer meet other people, and I’ve killed most of the people she could meet, there’s no more worry that the space I occupy in her will shrink even a little.

If she doesn’t mention Grandma Sunbok anymore, she’ll slowly be forgotten.

The same will be true for the others.

Seoa, Lee Seoa, Sanguine Obsidia. A name I love so dearly.

The soul of a self-proclaimed amateur artist who seeks to sculpt a person’s life and grasp even their death in her hands clashes with the impulse of Eros.

I love her.

I want to spend my whole life with her.

Having taken her mind, I want to devour every part of her body, every single cell, and in the end, violate even her soul.

I can’t imagine a life without her now.

…This is not good.

Ahn Yujin must not become Lee Seoa’s artwork.

This isn’t a sweet story about taking the lead in a relationship; it’s a matter of my very existence, the purpose of my life.

But I couldn’t deny it.

I had already tried once to dismiss my feelings for her as a hormonal change and an instinct-driven impulse, to wash them away.

I thought I had cut away the latter between the love for the artwork Lee Seoa and the love for her as a lover.

But even after that, I realized I still loved her.

I had been rationalizing it, telling myself that because the deficient human being named Lee Seoa wanted a friend, a family, a lover, I was becoming the lover who would fill that void and give her hugs, warmth, and kisses.

But now, I couldn’t help but admit that it wasn’t true, that I truly loved her.

However, I cannot be with her for eternity.

The time we have left is finite.

No matter how much we run, flee, leave the country, and eventually face the entire world, Sanguine Obsidia will ultimately be caught and killed by magical girls.

No matter how beautiful, no matter how strong, she and I are just individuals.

This is Sanguine Obsidia’s destined future.

So far, fallen magical girls, no matter how strong, have always met a tragic end.

With sacrifices, stronger magical girls, more magical girls will come for her.

Just as the temporary head of the association, the magical girl named Eclipse, proclaims on TV.

If magical girls as impossibly strong as Eclipse come to kill Seoa, it won’t be easy to survive.

Last time, she barely managed to escape.

That’s why, at the moment she shines most beautifully, that is, the moment when Ahn Yujin occupies the largest part of her life, the moment when Ahn Yujin is her everything,

And before Lee Seoa becomes my everything,

I must kill her.

I must make her face a complete death, with me, until the very last moment she dies.

Then she will be forever engraved in my memory as the greatest masterpiece of my life. But,

“No, I can’t. Without you, I…”

I had pulled the car over to the side of a road with no passing traffic.

I took my weakened hands off the steering wheel and wiped my moist eyes.

I can’t kill her.

My most precious, the one who is becoming my everything…

I bit my lip hard and swallowed the surging thoughts.

…At least, until I have a sure way to kill her, I shouldn’t think about completing Seoa to death.

This isn’t self-rationalization or an escape from the problem; it’s a clear, practical issue. Yes, it is.

Ah, if only I were a magical girl too.

If I weren’t an ordinary person whose escape is bound to the ground, if I weren’t an ordinary person who has to hold the means to kill people with my own two hands, would it have been a little better?

***

“Welcome back.”

As soon as I opened the front door, Seoa clung to me like a large dog.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and enjoyed her scent.

A faint mint-like aroma deeply ingrained from long-term magic herb smoking, mixed with a clear scent of lavender from using the same shampoo, body wash, and soap.

Because of our height difference, it looked like I was in her embrace, but this was good in its own way.

“I’m home.”

I could feel her weight pressing against me more than usual, the sensation of her soft curves through the thin shirt.

I, too, felt a sense of comfort more peaceful than ever.

I must have been more tired than I thought, having made, dismantled, cleaned, and disposed of a corpse every other day.

When I buried my face deep into her large, well-formed breasts, Seoa seemed slightly surprised but silently stroked my back with her left hand.

My heart is pounding.

I can feel Seoa’s pounding heartbeat through our pressed chests.

I waited a long time for our first kiss, for the moment she confessed her love.

A considerable amount of time has passed since we shared deeper, sweeter kisses and I heard everything from her. Perhaps it’s okay to take another step forward.

I pull my body slightly away from hers and meet her pitifully shining, moist red eyes.

Without either of us initiating, we slowly closed our eyes and our lips met.

I feel a sweet, suffocatingly hot heat.

As always, I accept Seoa’s soft tongue, which approaches a bit timidly and slowly, and bring my own tongue to it, mixing our fragrant saliva and devouring her lips.

Seoa lets out a sensual moan, presses her legs, her thighs against me, and her leg slides between mine.

Pushed back by her body, which seems at a loss, unable to contain her love, affection, and desire, my back hits the front door, and she ends up covering my entire body, pressing down with her legs, chest, and lips.

I thought she clung to me like a large dog, but perhaps I should add the modifier ‘in heat’ to that.

I, too, am at a loss, overwhelmed by a rising sense of happiness and growing desire, so I have nothing to say.

…I had been deliberately avoiding thinking about making love.

In the first place, I’m just a 21-year-old who has just become an adult with no dating experience, and I never even thought I would date someone of the same s*x, no, that I would date anyone at all.

That’s even setting aside the fact that my relationship with Seoa is somewhat twisted compared to what is generally called a romantic relationship.

For Seoa, it’s probably the first time she’s even learned about dating or love.

She probably saw a lot of TV and movies over the past year, so she likely had a general idea of what dating is and what a kiss means, but she’s completely lacking in knowledge beyond that, or any knowledge about s*x.

If the me from a few months ago heard this, I would have questioned if such a person really exists in this day and age, but considering her upbringing—confined and oppressed by violence, hunger, and a repressive morality—it’s an unavoidable story.

At some point, our right and left hands were clasped, and heat filled them.

Just as the pleasure became so intense that my left arm around her waist weakened and loosened slightly, the long kiss ended.

In her flushed red eyes, I could read a glistening desire, a bewildered confusion, and a languidly melted pleasure.

Her brown eyes, as she saw them, must have been the same.

While cleaning up the corpse during the day, I had reaffirmed to myself that I must not become subservient to her.

And yet, here I am now, dominated by instinct, hormones, and the anticipation of pleasure, craving her love, her body.

I want to see her in my arms, panting in pleasure, calling my name.

Ah, all this time I thought I had painted your life over with you, filled it with my name, and completely dominated you, but it seems there was still a blank space left.

The dawn she lay collapsed like a corpse, chased by a magical girl, I washed her and saw her beautiful naked body for the first time, but I was flustered then, and afraid she might not wake up, so I couldn’t think of anything else.

The beautiful body I saw while we washed together after she woke up, the pure white skin, the black hair that contrasted to make it look even whiter, the white hair that made her even whiter body and chest stand out, the black jewel embedded in the center.

“Yujin, I.”

With a bewitching, almost magical, crimson gaze, tears welling up, Seoa spoke pleadingly.

“…I want to say something, but I don’t know what it is. Every time we hug, every time we kiss, my body gets hot,”

Me too.

“My lower belly feels hot and itchy, and I don’t know what to do.”

Who in the world could have imagined that the infamous Sanguine Obsidia would so honestly crave love and desire?

I will not only fill your heart, your experiences, your life with my name, but I will also fill every empty space in your body and soul.

No, I should have filled them long ago.

So from now on, I will give you plenty of love.

Because my love must end that way.

Therefore,

“Me too.”

I whispered in her ear.

As if a shiver ran through her whole body, I stroked the trembling Seoa’s head and said,

“First, shall we go inside?”