Chapter 62: Goodbye, Blue Sky

Thump.

I pierced right through the center of Sanguine Obsidia’s chest with my magic sword.

But the sensation of the blade piercing her chest was not the familiar one I was used to.

“Huh…?”

It wasn’t the glassy feeling of piercing the skin, shattering the sternum, and then using the magic at the tip of my blade to shatter the bead-like magic organ behind it, as I had done when killing other fallen magical girls.

It felt like stabbing a knife into a hard, thick slab of meat, different from both flesh and bone.

Looking down, a crimson-black tumor-like thing had appeared on Sanguine Obsidia’s tattered and torn suit, right where my magic sword was embedded.

The tumor had spread thick branches, like tree roots or blood vessels, covering the front of Sanguine Obsidia’s chest with dozens of pulsating branches, and my blade was stuck in the tumor at its center.

My excitement subsides.

Something is wrong.

There was no information about something like this.

I don’t feel magic as strong as a disaster-class magical beast, but I feel an equally ominous aura.

What in the world is this…

“I have to go back.”

Where, and to whom, is she talking about going back to?

A creepy voice, like the scraping of a dead corpse’s bones, is heard.

I’m scared.

I am feeling fear.

A terror I’ve never felt before, not even in front of an army of magical beasts that blackened the earth, or beneath a great calamity that covered the sky, crawls up my spine.

A fear that I cannot refuse or resist washes over me.

What was I doing until now?

Where am I, in this darkness?

I don’t know.

It’s so sudden I can’t even comprehend it.

“So, die.”

I barely recognized the voice as Sanguine Obsidia’s, but I couldn’t see her form, the one that should be pinned beneath my feet, pierced by my sword.

All I can see is the silhouette of a mass, a color darker than black, clearly visible even in the black darkness, not emitting even a faint light.

Magic, a fearsome magic that a human being cannot even imagine, that the brain refuses to even perceive, gushes out from the bleeding, pulsating tumor.

The violet magic circles that covered the sky, the faint light of the street lamps, all lose their light and are swallowed by the black mist, and a sensation as if falling into a dark abyss tightens my chest.

My body trembles, but I can’t move at all.

Like a small animal frozen before a predator, I can’t move an inch.

Blanc, where are you?

Don’t leave me alone.

No matter how desperately I call, I can’t see anyone.

By now, all the other magical girls should have surrounded the area, and the police should have been deployed.

The abandoned park, the old buildings in the distance, the dark night sky, all disappear.

The figure of the fallen Sanguine Obsidia also disappears, and in the darkness where the magic sword and magic circles have all vanished,

I see the maw of a huge, hideous, and dark beast, and the dozens, hundreds of serrated teeth standing sharp within it.

From beneath my feet, the monster was opening its vicious maw, large enough to swallow my whole body.

***

I don’t know what happened, or what I did.

I only thought of one thing, one person: Ahn Yujin.

And I only did one thing: return to Yujin.

As long as I can be with her, just the two of us, forever, I don’t care what happens to magical girls, magical beasts, or anything else in the world.

That’s why this magical girl, who tries to kill me, to prevent me from returning to Yujin, must die.

But the right arm, which I had forcibly enlarged with blood and magic to move, was finally completely severed, and countless wounds were carved all over my body, to the point where I could barely move my limbs, and now it’s even hard to breathe.

I can’t move at all, restrained by the violet magic chains all over my body.

The surging magic seems to be hitting rock bottom, as I can no longer feel the vitality flowing through my body.

Blood continues to flow from the countless cuts all over my body, the deep gash on my side, and the stump of my right arm.

And I could feel my body growing cold.

And then, I unconsciously realized.

I still had a means left.

Yes, a means.

This tumor, this black mass that I thought had been causing me impulses, forcing me to kill, and giving me pain, is nothing more than a means.

It’s an energy source of unknown origin that provides a constant supply of magic.

It’s just that I didn’t know its true nature and how to use it until now.

The tumor merely supplied me with magic whenever I needed it, and provided some knowledge on how to handle magic to make it easier to use.

The impulse to kill, the pleasure of killing, were all felt and acted upon by my own instincts, my own will.

Realizing that fact, my mind becomes calm.

The pain recedes, and Yujin’s face, which had been distant, draws closer.

If it had been before I met her, I would have been afraid.

I would have been afraid to face my true nature, the fact that while claiming to want a normal life, I rejoice and feel pleasure in killing people, that I can’t live without killing someone every day because I can’t stand not feeling that pleasure.

As I always have, I would have created and maintained the delusion that the tumor was forcing me to kill people, and run away into a dark room, into a cloud of cigarette smoke.

But now, even that fact is lovable.

I can laugh and fully accept my ugly and evil nature.

To be honest, I’ve been enjoying killing people and feeling pleasure and elation for a long time now, and at some point, even the guilt disappeared.

I was just so afraid of confessing that truth to her.

But now, I think I can even confess that to her.

Because now, in my ordinary life, nothing else has meaning besides Ahn Yujin.

[You shouldn’t be that kind of person, Sanguine Obsidia. Didn’t you once say you wanted to be a normal magical girl? Didn’t you want to deny and reject the pleasure you feel from killing and pain, and become like a normal person?]

There was a time like that. Before I met her.

But Spooky, I’ve already come too far to follow the goodness and morality you speak of.

And I have no reason to.

Yujin has accepted me, loved me, loved me even more after knowing I was a magical girl, and didn’t withdraw the warmth she gave me even after vaguely realizing I wasn’t a normal magical girl.

The reason I hide my identity from her is because she is the normal person you speak of, but I’m sure she would accept all of my ugliness.

I know now.

Perhaps, she might even already have a guess about my identity and my activity name.

In other words, Spooky, I don’t need to listen to what you say anymore.

Because she is at the center of all my thoughts, my morality, my normality, everything.

[…]

So, I have to go back.

As I turn my thoughts to the outside world, the dark park is already covered in black mist, and even the faint light has disappeared.

It’s surreal.

The sense of reality melts away in the sensation of floating through the darkness on a current of magic.

In that case, it would be alright for something a little surreal to happen to the poor magical girl trapped in the mist.

Since I heard the word ‘monster,’ I imagine a monster.

A monster lurking in the abyss, opening its huge maw to swallow its prey.

As the hideous monster crawls out from the shadows, the form of the small ghost melts into the mist and disappears.

Jet-black magic overflows.

It overflows and spreads as mist, eroding the dirt floor, the magic chains, the bushes and grass, the air, the sky.

It erodes, coalesces, and the black magic forms teeth, a jawbone, and finally, the wide-open mouth of a monster.

And it swallowed the violet magical girl.

***

Thump, thud, thump, thud.

I drag my uncooperative left leg up the stairs.

The stump of my severed right arm feels empty, and I can’t balance well.

I almost fall several times, but I support myself by bracing my left arm against the wall.

I thought I felt the sharpness of the magic blade piercing my chest, that I was dead now, but somehow I had come out of the void passage and was back in front of the familiar apartment building, in front of my home.

I’m confused.

All I can remember is the sensation of an ominous magic spreading.

I don’t know if I did it, or if the tumor did it on its own, or what.

I go up another flight of stairs.

But what happened doesn’t matter anymore.

Whether the magical girls are alive or dead, it’s not important.

Because in the end, I ran away, and, I came back.

My head hurts.

I fall onto the cold floor of the apartment hallway, hitting my forehead.

I raise my upper body with my one remaining arm, and drag myself forward with my knees and left arm.

But my chest beats comfortably, my mind becomes calm, and a feeling of happiness spreads.

Even the cold dawn air, the dark sky, and the chilly concrete floor feel warm.

I finally pass through the door of my little birdcage and arrive in front of the door next to it.

I’ve returned to the place where my lovely girl is.

Through all the events and pain and trials of this one night.

If I open the door and go in, she’ll hug me, right?

Kiss me, right?

My clothes are all torn, and I’m a mess reeking of rotten blood.

Will she be disgusted?

She would surely say it’s okay, hug me, and wash me.

She’ll dress me in new clothes and let me fall asleep while holding me tight.

I stand on my weak legs, grab the doorknob with my left hand and pull myself up, and,

BANG!

I fall again, and the sound of my armless right shoulder colliding with the door echoes.

I have to open the door.

The door…

Click, a dazzling light leaks through the slightly ajar front door as the lock catches.

I reached out my arm, but I couldn’t reach inside.

“…Seoa?”

A lovely voice comes from the crack in the door.

Less than a day has passed, but it feels like I’ve finally heard her voice again after a very long time, her voice that I longed for.

The voice that reassures me.

The front door opens completely, and her figure is reflected in my blurry eyes.

Brown hair, brown eyes, a lovely face.

Gulp.

Blood gushes out again from my lips, from the half-closed wounds in my chest and side.

In the corner of my vision, I saw my own white hair, soaked in blood.

White hair.

My eyes must be a lifeless red.

The form of Sanguine Obsidia.

The form I’ve never once shown Ahn Yujin.

My true self, which I had intended to confess to her someday, probably in the near future.

“Sanguine…Obsidia…?”

Her expression, standing with her back to the dazzling light, was hidden in shadow, hidden by my eyelids closing as my strength gave out.

A dizziness corresponding to the amount of blood I’ve lost comes over me, and my consciousness blurs.

The world collapses beneath my feet.

She would accept even this me, and love me.

But, what if she doesn’t?

Faced with the reality that I’ve revealed my identity to her, my arrogance and carelessness shatter into pieces.

There is no basis for her to accept me, and there’s no way Yujin would accept the suspicious magical girl Lee Seoa and the murderer Sanguine Obsidia in the same way.

Yet, just because she had shown me affection until now, I thought she would love even the blood-soaked appearance of me, the murderer.

I’m afraid of being scorned by her, afraid of being hated, afraid of being despised and abandoned.

I’m afraid of revealing my ugly true self, the form of a murderer who has killed hundreds, to the pure and good Yujin, and of her withdrawing her warmth after learning my true nature.

I’ve been hiding it from her until now because I thought she would despise me if she found out my identity, that she would reject me and withdraw her warmth.

But, so suddenly like this.

My consciousness cuts off.

My body grows cold.

It feels like I’m freezing as her warmth recedes.

I need to capture those lips, those eyes, that expression in my eyes just once, but only the faint, trembling silhouette of her comes into my blurry vision.

As my blurry vision closes, my consciousness fell into darkness.