Chapter 20: On the Wall

Cough, cough, cough!

Ugh, I can’t breathe.

My throat hurts.

The bitter taste spreads in my mouth, and I feel phlegm building up.

Trying smoking for the first time right before going to work was a crazy idea.

I thought I was used to the smell and the smoke since Seoa and our manager are always reeking of cigarettes.

Plus, they say that mana-infused tobacco smoke isn’t particularly harmful to the human body.

But having that smoke directly invade my bronchial tubes is unbearable.

I couldn’t help it.

Normally, I wouldn’t have bothered, but since Seoa smokes like a chimney, I thought that maybe smoking could bring me closer to her.

But if it’s like this from the start, it’s pointless.

And cigarettes aren’t cheap either.

“Let’s just give up.”

Besides, it seems like Seoa has cut back on smoking since meeting me, so I decided to just let it go.

Thanks to that, I was wide awake.

My mouth still tasted bitter, though.

I’ll just give the remaining cigarettes to Seoa later.

“Good morning~”

“You’re here early today?”

The people at the community support centre greeted Ahn Yujin warmly as she opened the door and entered.

“Good morning, Manager”

They’re all good people, always smiling, doing good work helping others.

If you ask whether the work itself is good, I’d barely be able to say it isn’t bad.

After losing her entire family, the first thing Ahn Yujin learned was how to compromise.

Even if the outcome wasn’t what she wanted,

Even if the world didn’t move according to her will, she learned how to make compromises.

She learned to compromise with the world, with corruption, with irrationality, so she wouldn’t have to compromise with herself.

To do what she wanted, she learned that she had to always wear a smile and be prepared to accept even unfairness.

For example, the manager who greets her with a kind smile and a gentle voice.

He was like a contradiction personified, a paradoxical human being who embodied both irrationality and rationality.

More specifically, he was the epitome of a corrupt civil servant who embezzled public funds, yet somehow, he wasn’t entirely detestable.

The way he embezzled was by hiding the death or disappearance of support recipients for years, siphoning off the money and supplies meant for them into his own pocket.

However, he was also a skilled manager.

He made sure that all the staff under him shared in the spoils.

Ahn Yujin was one of those beneficiaries.

For that reason, the manager cherished Yujin greatly.

Yujin tirelessly roamed the ruins and alleys, finding the unfortunate and adding their names to the support centre’s registry.

Lately, with monster activity on the rise and an increase in crimes targeting isolated individuals, the number of deaths and disappearances among the people Yujin brought in had also increased.

Since no one other than Yujin or other staff members would bother to confirm their deaths or file reports,

The support funds and supplies meant for the deceased naturally ended up in the manager’s hands.

To be fair, he never actively harmed the unfortunate.

On the contrary, he sometimes used the leftover supplies to help those still alive.

It was just that he took a small personal gain from the deceased’s share.

Because of that, Yujin couldn’t bring herself to hate him, and rather, she was grateful.

Having a superior like him was a blessing since it allowed her to do the work she wanted.

Her job was to find lonely elderly women, disabled old men, or widowed women,

And to help them, which was exactly what she wanted to do.

“Be careful these days, Yujin. I heard a body was found in the hills recently.”

“I heard about that too. They say it was chopped up… It’s scary, really.

And with monsters showing up on the main roads lately, it’s getting quite dangerous.”

While organized crime had become rare due to the presence of monsters,

The population gaps and lack of public order made the world a haven for corrupt officials and deranged murderers.

There were plenty of criminals who didn’t possess the monstrous power of fallen magical girls but preyed on scattered, isolated people one by one.

“Thanks for your concern. But, well, the monsters that have appeared nearby so far weren’t anything major… I think I’ll be fine.”

Yujin took out a collapsible baton from her bag and showed it.

“I know a bit of martial arts, so I can handle at least one attacker. You should be careful too, Chief.”

In reality, she’d never actually used the baton before, but it was better to have it than not.

It also served to reassure those who were worried.

More than that, she was worried about Lee Seoa.

Just imagining it was horrifying, but if Seoa really was a magical girl, and if they ended up in physical conflict or becoming enemies, she would need some way to deal with it.

Obviously, a collapsible baton wouldn’t be enough.

Just like she couldn’t just run away from a low-level monster.

‘Hmm…’

That was the biggest problem, and the one Yujin thought about every day.

She couldn’t become a magical girl herself, nor did she have the power of a military unit.

‘…Take it slow.’

Right now, they were just building a relationship.

At least as long as she didn’t make a major mistake, the relationship wouldn’t break down out of nowhere, and that was a relief.

Finding and connecting with lonely people living in the corners,

After so much effort to open their hearts and become close, feeling like they had finally formed a family-like relationship,

Then finding the house collapsed and the person dead from a monster attack just days later—it was such a hollow feeling.

It was more unpleasant than having her most cherished possession stolen.

That must never happen.

Their lives should be entirely filled with Ahn Yujin,

And their existence should be completed solely by Ahn Yujin.

The same goes for Seoa.

Their lives should be entirely filled with Ahn Yujin,

And their existence should be completed solely by Ahn Yujin.

The same goes for Seoa.

Family, friends, lovers, property—those who have lost everything and are merely surviving,

Yujin approached them, giving them food, basic necessities,

Spending time with them, having conversations,

Offering warmth, giving affection,

And when they finally opened their hearts,

To them, Yujin was no longer just a civil servant who visited occasionally,

But a part of their lives.

Eventually, their lives became synonymous with Ahn Yujin, and Ahn Yujin became their lives.

That was Yujin’s goal.

What she wanted to achieve.

It wasn’t about controlling their minds or manipulating them.

There was no need or reason for that.

It was simply about making them utterly dependent on Yujin—so much so that they couldn’t imagine living, standing, or even existing without her.

That’s all it was.

Love and marriage are said to be about sharing half of one’s life with someone else.

Yujin didn’t think of her desire as mere love.

It was a sublime love—one that filled the entirety of someone’s life with her presence.

That was Ahn Yujin’s version of love.

***

The most troubling thing was the state of Seoa.

Despite smoking several packs of cigarettes a day, she remained healthy,

Her soft, white skin was flawless,

Her black hair was smoother than silk.

But that was it.

Yujin couldn’t help but smile inwardly.

“No phone, either?”

“…I’m unregistered.”

That meant she wasn’t listed as a citizen of the Republic of Korea.

In other words, she was practically a non-existent person in society,

With no way to interact with anything without relying on the thin thread called Ahn Yujin.

Born during the chaotic early 2000s, it wasn’t surprising that she had no official record.

Even now, outside major cities, local administration was practically non-existent.

However, it was another matter to survive alone in such a state.

If she really was a fallen magical girl, she might have erased her identity and fled.

The hypothesis that Seoa was a fallen magical girl with an unfortunate past was now almost a certainty for Yujin.

But she didn’t bother to ask.

She didn’t want to provoke Seoa’s wariness with unnecessary questions.

She had to be patient and slowly unlock Seoa’s guarded heart.

Seoa must have sensed that Yujin suspected her identity, so someday, when the time was right, the truth would come out.

It had only been about a week since they met, but they had already grown closer quite quickly.

There was an old man living on a hill who didn’t speak a word to her for more than three months, after all.

Unlike her regular welfare clients, Seoa was her neighbour.

There was plenty of time.

The best part was that Seoa’s identity and situation were precarious.

It meant no one else would approach her,

And all the keys to her small world would be in Yujin’s hands.

“So, did you steal the supplies…?”

“Yeah, I stole them.”

She said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Had she lived like this for twenty years?

Yujin thought it was necessary to teach this girl at least the basics of common sense.

So that she could experience a wider world.

So that she would get hurt by the cruelty of the wider world,

By human wickedness, by the coldness of relationships.

So that after being hurt, ostracized, and betrayed,

She would realize that Ahn Yujin was the only one she could truly depend on.

That was why Yujin was planning to take Seoa to the community support centre.

She mentally sorted through the list of people they were supposed to meet today.

Grandma Soonbok was someone they definitely needed to visit.

Unlike others with thorns in their hearts, she was a kind person who would show Seoa unconditional affection from the start.

As Yujin was deep in thought, Seoa suddenly started trembling.

She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, cold sweat dripping down her cheeks.

Her anxious gaze was unfocused, her pupils shaking.

“Seoa?”

When Yujin grabbed her shoulder and shook her, Seoa opened and closed her mouth for a moment before her eyes regained focus.

It couldn’t have been just because she confessed to stealing.

There had to be another reason.

Perhaps she had killed someone.

If so, was she afraid that her crime would be exposed?

Or was she scared of being abandoned?

Yujin couldn’t help but smile.

There’s no way I would ever abandon you.

No, not yet. It’s too early to be happy.

Seoa—she was the best encounter Yujin had ever had.

The most lovable girl.

They were the same age, although Seoa was much taller. But that didn’t matter.

To Yujin, Seoa was like a small, precious fledgling.

When Yujin was with her, her thoughts naturally turned rosy.

Yujin never considered herself either heterosexual or homosexual.

She knew that the love she gave to others was fundamentally different from romantic love.

That was why she never saw anyone as more special than anyone else,

She gave equal affection and care to all who depended on her,

And she loved them all.

But Seoa was different.

Seoa was special.

From the first moment, Yujin was captivated.

That’s why she had to be careful.

Their relationship hadn’t been that long yet.

Seoa’s emotional wounds and insecurities wouldn’t be healed so easily.

She had to make Seoa depend on her even more—deeper, more completely.

Slowly, one step at a time,

And sometimes with passionate intensity.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind.

What if Seoa’s identity as a fallen magical girl was revealed to everyone?

After getting closer to the people they were about to meet—the support center staff, the neighborhood folks

Just when Seoa was ready to open her heart and step into society,

Her identity would be exposed, leading to rejection, scorn, and stoning.

And when Seoa would finally return to Yujin, seeking comfort,

That would be the beginning of their bond.

Starting from there, bit by bit,

Until Yujin became everything to Seoa.

…No, that’s just a foolish fantasy.

It’s not even confirmed that Seoa is a magical girl.

Still, it’s worth keeping in mind as a possible scenario.

Yujin started the car with Seoa sitting in the passenger seat.

First, she needed to get Seoa to step out into the world—to face people.

No matter how things played out, that’s where it had to begin.

***

What is this?

Don’t interfere.

This is a story about Ahn Yujin and Lee Seoa.

Useless magical girls should stay out.

Not long after they left, a monster appeared.

It looked like a grotesque amalgamation of human flesh, patched together like a Frankenstein’s monster, painted black.

It was the first time Yujin had seen such a disgusting monster in the city, and she couldn’t help but feel fear.

But more than fear, she felt a sense of anticipation.

Would Seoa reveal her true identity to her?

Would she risk showing her true self, knowing that it might lead to rejection, being abandoned by Yujin?

Seoa was trembling, clearly frightened.

The moment she positioned herself in front of Yujin to protect her, Yujin was convinced—100%.

Seoa was definitely a fallen magical girl.

Perhaps she was even the infamous Sanguine Obsidia.

One of the notorious wanted criminals among fallen magical girls—

And here she was, a supposedly terrifying monster, trembling in fear in front of a mere twenty-year-old woman, scared of revealing her identity and being abandoned.

It was adorable.

But just as Yujin was relishing the moment, two magical girls suddenly appeared, obliviously interrupting the scene.

…There’s nothing to be done.

There’s still plenty of time.

This is only the beginning.

***

Things were moving more smoothly than Yujin expected, to the point it was almost surprising.

“Thanks for comforting me. But I’m okay now.”

Seoa kept coming to Yujin at night, clinging to her for comfort.

Yujin had been wondering if Seoa was becoming dependent on her too quickly, but now Seoa was clearly trying to distance herself.

It wasn’t that her emotional wounds had healed or that her internal conflict was resolved.

If that were the case, she wouldn’t still be trembling like that.

She was just struggling to keep her distance, fearing that becoming too dependent on Yujin would eventually lead to being abandoned.

Even if she was trying to grow as an independent person, it was just a futile struggle.

Because Yujin was there.

Having met so many people like this, Yujin knew exactly how this would end.

“Let’s meet tomorrow morning. Thanks again, and the sandwich was really good.”

Yujin had a hard time keeping her expression in check.

Fortunately, Seoa had turned her back and was heading home.

If Seoa had seen Yujin’s smile just now, it would have been dangerous.

Ah, Seoa.

Sweet, delicate little fledgling.

A girl whose heart is more fragile than anything else.

Break out of your shell,

Stand behind the walls of the world,

Run forward, leap higher, reach even higher.

Then, either you’ll hit the wall and fall,

Or be crushed by me and plummet.

And then, I’ll welcome you back into the warm nest that I’ve prepared just for you.