Chapter 11: Comfortably Numb

“No phone?”

“Because I’m unregistered.”

It wasn’t wrong.

My previous identity had likely been recorded as deceased along with my family a year ago.

Born in the chaotic early 2000s during the full-scale war against monsters, I was one of the many children without a birth certificate.

Not just a phone, I had no internet, no taxes, no ration tickets—nothing at all.

Sanguine Obsidia—no, Lee Seoa—legally did not exist in this world.

This apartment was just one of the many vacant rooms in a nearly deserted complex, occupied without permission.

And yet, seeing how the water and electricity still functioned made me wonder if the talk of civilization collapsing was just an exaggeration.

For a long time, I never felt any inconvenience from my lack of a legal identity.

I just lay in bed like a corpse, and when I couldn’t suppress my urges, I would go out, kill someone, and come back.

That was my routine.

“Then what about rations…?”

“I stole them.”

The cigarettes too.

I spoke without thinking, bluntly and firmly.

Then I realized my mistake.

I’d grown too comfortable with Ahn Yujin.

We’d been chatting so naturally, as if it were routine, that I ended up talking about my personal situation too.

And I said something I really shouldn’t have.

Ahn Yujin is a normal person who lives in a bright, ordinary world.

And yet, I just openly admitted to stealing in front of her.

I had let my guard down too much.

I’d been clinging to her these past few days, spoiled by her kindness, and began to entertain the illusion that she would forgive anything—even a crime.

Would she really forgive theft?

What if she abandoned me?

What if she despised me?

What if she started to doubt me?

What if she realized who I really was—that Sanguine Obsidia and Lee Seoa were the same person?

What if she discovered the truth of the demon who killed hundreds?

No.

That can’t happen.

Wait, how long have I even known her?

How close are we that I’m already trusting her this much?

Ah.

[Just apologize.]

Ah.

[Promise not to steal anymore.]

Ahhhh.

[Ahn Yujin won’t say anything bad to you.]

No.

She’ll hate me.

She’ll surely despise me.

She’ll abandon me.

[Obsidia!]

Spooky?

That’s rare.

You’re actually being reasonable for once.

It’s like my sanity has detached from me.

Haha…

My thoughts are getting stranger and stranger.

The dying screams of the people I killed yesterday and the day before still echo in my mind.

The screams of those begging for life, cursing me, or simply howling in pain.

Each scream is a death.

Since meeting Ahn Yujin, I made a selfish promise to myself—to never direct my murderous intent toward her.

But for that selfish desire, I killed.

It hurts.

The guilt that was born keeps growing and piercing me.

I enjoyed killing them.

Thinking of Yujin’s smile made me smile too.

I wasn’t like this before.

“…Seoa? Lee Seoa?”

A voice called out to me with concern.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell again?”

Her voice pulled me back to reality.

The screams stopped.

“…No, it’s just… nothing.”

Ahn Yujin looked at me anxiously.

It’s her fault.

She brought warmth into my life, colored my world.

That’s why it hurts.

But she also makes me forget that pain.

“I won’t steal anymore…”

“Oh, is that all? Don’t worry. I’ll help you.”

She replied with a warm, gentle smile, patting my head softly.

Her touch was so tender and warm—a sensation I hadn’t felt in so long.

My anxiety melted away.

***

“Are you really going?”

“Of course! They’re all great people. Don’t worry. I’ll be right there with you.”

Ahn Yujin took Seoa’s hesitant hand and led her.

Seoa, who seemed like she hadn’t slept well, still looked beautiful.

Though her expression was somewhat gloomy, she was strikingly model-like, even in plain clothes.

Instead of her usual jeans, Yujin had given her a blouse and a beige jacket, and they fit her tall frame perfectly.

Yujin, who was shorter and more petite, couldn’t help but feel a little proud that she found something suitable in her wardrobe.

“Like I said before, you don’t need to steal anymore. I’ll help you.”

Seoa remained tense.

“I’m not saying you have to get a job. Just spend time with me, and that’s enough.”

Because we’re friends.

At that word, Seoa’s grip on Yujin’s hand tightened.

In the car, Seoa’s face turned pale as she struggled with nausea.

“You okay?”

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

Yujin smiled, but Seoa looked anything but okay.

Seoa had never been in a car before.

She was fascinated by the old, rusty sedan—almost twenty years old—thinking the car itself was amazing, not just that it still ran.

When the car stopped at a red light, Seoa’s hand tightened around Yujin’s, as if seeking reassurance.

When they arrived at the community center, Yujin introduced Seoa to the staff as her friend.

The staff greeted her warmly, treating Seoa like family.

Seoa felt a complex mix of jealousy and longing.

She envied how Yujin naturally belonged with such warm people.

After loading the car with supplies, Yujin explained that they were delivering goods to people living in remote areas.

“It’s not hard. Just follow me, okay?”

Seoa nodded, trusting Yujin.

They drove to a quiet neighborhood, but as they walked, Seoa regretted coming.

Suddenly, a grotesque monster appeared, its stitched-together body and oil-slicked appearance like a Frankensteinian nightmare.

Seoa’s blood ran cold as the creature let out a distorted roar.

If she hadn’t followed Yujin, would Yujin have faced this thing alone?

Her mind raced with horrifying possibilities.

Can I reveal my true power?

If I use just my magical girl abilities, it should be fine.

But what if Yujin finds out I’m Sanguine Obsidia—a fallen magical girl?

If she sees me as a monster and abandons me…

What do I do then?