Chapter 120: Difficult
by Afuhfuihgs[Author: BlueFlame] [Today’s clip: Streamer faints after reading dark-mode donation…mp4]
[(Footage of Seol-Ah fainting during the stream)
Just legendary.]
─ [Huh… she actually collapsed…???]
└ [For real, it made me dizzy too, but did she really pass out?]
└ [Try imagining yourself receiving that donation.]
└ [If I could reincarnate as a “pre-pre-legend,” I’d immediately bow down and throw myself at a truck lol]
└ [Is she a trans gay?]
└ [Not trans gay, it’s TS (Transsexual).]
└ [Aren’t they the same?]
└ [How can they be the same when TS is becoming a woman entirely from birth?]
─ [You’re uploading this as a funny video? A person passed out.]
└ [Fr, no sense of decency?]
└ [But she survived, right?]
─ [Pre-pre-legend really faints all the time. No wonder her nickname is “BYC.”]
└ [What’s that mean?]
└ [“Sickly, pitiful, and delicate.”]
└ [Shouldn’t “delicate” be removed though?]
└ [She hates it, so we added it just to tease.]
└ [This kind of banter is so typical of T-subs lol]
─ [What the heck, scared the crap outta me]
─ [??? That was terrifying. She didn’t die, right?]
└ [Thankfully, she’s safe.]
It was a massive collab stream with record viewers, so news of Seol-Ah fainting spread across the internet in seconds.
There’s a long-standing meme called “getting dizzy.”
It’s a meme used when someone receives a shocking or horrifying donation—this situation fit it too perfectly, and the GIF went viral.
Another embarrassing moment added to the list!
Then she collapsed while resting her head on Victory’s shoulder, and the way Victory caught her only made the dark-mode donators burn with jealousy even more.
[Author: anon] [Tell me this wasn’t a psychological battle.]
[(GIF of Seol-Ah fainting)
She got that dark-mode donation and immediately leaned on Victory’s shoulder.
Wasn’t that just to spite someone?
It seriously looks like some mean girl power-play.]
Lies told with words are easy.
But lying with your body is nearly impossible.
Cold sweat running suddenly, a pale complexion, Seol-Ah looking clearly unwell to anyone watching.
But those blinded by jealousy accused her of faking even the clearly real fainting.
─ [If you think that’s acting, maybe you should go to the hospital.]
─ [How could that be acting??? Use common sense.]
─ [Is this guy the one who sent the dark-mode donation???]
─ [Didn’t even marry her and already has husband-level paranoia, lol]
─ [Is this schizophrenia? This is terrifying.]
└ [What are the odds this guy turns into a stalker?]
└ [I’d say 99.999%.]
The disturbing post was bombarded with hate comments.
People even used the rarely touched “dislike” button in full force, and the post was soon deleted.
[Author: anon] [Just looking at this gallery, it’s no wonder she fainted.]
[(Screenshot of the now-deleted post)
These schizo types calling themselves fans are giving unsolicited advice, obsessing, freaking out.
Must be terrifying.
Even as a man, I find this creepy and disturbing.
She probably has experience with stalking too.
I can’t do anything to help, but I hope she gets through this.]
─ [Pre-pre-legend is actually a mass shooting survivor (link)]
└ [Wait, is this true???]
└ [If a stalker chased her with a gun, PTSD totally makes sense.]
─ [Thanks to my parents for not birthing me as a pretty girl lol]
└ [But… aren’t you crying right now?]
└ [(tear emoji)]
─ [Thought she had it easy, but she’s really had it tough.]
└ [I lived because I’m an ugly man, lol]
└ [(no words emoji)]
Seol-Ah received a wave of sympathy from the public.
Meanwhile, she was lost in thought.
She had declared she would refund every donation as her way of taking responsibility for “deceiving” people.
But fewer than ten people actually requested a refund, and the total amount was only around 300,000 won.
Refund rate: less than 1%.
Most likely, the anonymous 30-million-won donor not asking for a refund made the biggest difference.
Anyway, the majority didn’t want a refund.
Seol-Ah started to appreciate her viewers a little more.
As tragic as it sounds, there are few things in the world that express sincerity as clearly as money.
Even someone like Seol-Ah, who had never once lived in poverty, knows that people don’t just give money as a joke.
Especially not when they dislike you—then they’re even less likely to give.
Still, her improved image took another hit after this incident.
A handful of malicious viewers couldn’t stand her being near any guy, even if he wasn’t a boyfriend.
What did they want—was she supposed to live trapped in her room forever?
What was even more horrifying was how they didn’t cheer her on for going outside, but labeled her a “traitor.”
She didn’t hide from the outside world by choice.
She had run from it because it was too terrifying.
But she still wanted to find light again.
If you truly liked her, shouldn’t you support that?
Isn’t it wrong to hope she never gets better, that she stays locked inside forever, that she never overcomes her fear?
She hated that person deeply.
She returned to her old thoughts again.
Viewers are such an ambiguous kind of existence.
They are not one body.
Not one mind.
Yet they’re organically connected—only to become nothing again.
They’re a presence that’s too difficult to love or to hate.
When they praise you, you’re endlessly happy, but when they criticize, you’re crushed to the ground.
Being a streamer is by no means an easy job.
Those who look down and criticize you for working comfortably from home—let them try it themselves.
It’s said the hardest job in the world is dealing with people.
And this job, dealing with so many people, must undoubtedly be an incredibly hard one.
“Ah, yes. Well… thankfully, I’m okay.”
Seol-Ah turned her stream back on again.
Even though she thought she really hated it, she still forced herself to go live.
Even though she didn’t need to make money, she somehow still turned it on at her usual time.
She didn’t know what that meant.
And she didn’t even try to understand it.
Having made such a declaration, Lee Jun thought he might get called on at all hours.
Thankfully, the spring season tournament was over, and there was a short break before summer season began.
He hoped Seol-Ah would stabilize during that time—that’s what he thought.
But unexpectedly, Seol-Ah didn’t call Lee Jun even once for a whole week.
Did she not trust him?
He even started to wonder.
After such a dramatic statement, if the other person doesn’t reach out, you can’t exactly just pretend it never happened.
So Lee Jun decided to ask her himself.
He called her.
“Anything on your mind lately? Even something small.”
─ “Then… do you want to come to my place?”
Somehow, he ended up being invited to Seol-Ah’s house.
It wasn’t far from where he was staying, so he arrived quickly.
‘I never expected her to live here.’
The apartment complex Seol-Ah lived in was well known, not just online but in the real world too.
It was basically a symbol of wealth—a place where successful celebrities or major company execs often lived.
There were staff members stationed all over the complex, and it took a strict process to get in.
As he walked through the complex, he saw multiple art installations—it was a rather unfamiliar sight.
“Hi.”
Seol-Ah was dressed very casually.
As if it were the middle of summer.
Though Lee Jun had come in spring clothes, the house was warm enough to feel slightly hot.
Her face had no makeup on at all, but she still radiated beauty.
“You live in this big place all by yourself?”
“My dad said a place like this would be safe.”
Couldn’t she just live with her family?
Before Lee Jun could even voice the thought, Seol-Ah answered.
“I don’t get along with my mom. That’s why I moved out.”
“……”
That was a tough thing to respond to.
He wondered if he had accidentally touched a nerve, and regretted it for a second.
But he had said it—so now he had to take responsibility.
They had known each other for five years, though there was a three-year gap in the middle.
Depending how you look at it, it was a long relationship.
But in truth, they’d barely seen each other in person.
Still, they say true friends can connect in just a minute.
So maybe the length of time doesn’t matter that much.
To say appearance didn’t play a role would be lying to himself.
Seol-Ah’s pale face, her sickly expression, the atmosphere that made it hard to just leave her alone—those definitely influenced his decision.
But that wasn’t all.
He had simply decided to help a friend who looked like she was in pain.
This girl—she really had no answers.
Then I’ll have to help her find some.
“Is your concern about your relationship with your mom?”
“No, I’ve given up on that. It’s not something I can control.”
He had never heard this before.
It felt like he had learned a little more about what made up Seol-Ah.
“Then what are you worried about now?”
“Streaming is actually kind of fun… but it hurts me just as much. I don’t know what to do.”
Now Lee Jun understood.
He finally understood why Seol-Ah was so pathologically avoidant of romantic feelings.
And that some of her viewers—through that faint connection—were seeing her as a romantic interest.
No, maybe they didn’t even want that relationship to come true.
Or maybe they knew it couldn’t.
So… pseudo-romance?
Yeah, that term fits it perfectly.
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