Chapter 87: Sociality level 0

Honestly, I’d never had a friend in my entire life.

I didn’t really know how to make them, either.

Even the relationships that got a little closer drifted apart after conversations like this.

“How do you play around and still get those scores? It must be nice to be so smart.”

“……Wouldn’t it be better to look for a different career path if studying doesn’t suit you?”

I was giving sincere advice.

Someone who goes to academies every day after school, and even gives up weekends to study, can’t even get into the top 50 in the whole school. Shouldn’t they just give up?

Is it right to insist on studying even with such disastrous aptitude?

Clinging to something that won’t work is foolish.

But that kid got angry at me, and stopped talking to me.

I also wandered around internet communities.

I was talking about how my sibling was sick and my parents were only at the hospital, so it was hard and painful.

Suddenly, someone said, ‘Can you even afford those expensive hospital bills?’

Then they said, ‘What, it was just a rich person’s pretense?’

My sibling is sick and my parents live at the hospital?

‘So what? You’re rich, you don’t have the right to be unhappy?’

……Are those two things related?

Complaints suddenly burst out from everywhere.

I, who had lost in the competition to boast about who was the most miserable, was kicked out of the community as well.

After that, the place I drifted into was games.

In a hidden, dying game that not many people played.

I was having a good time in my own way.

But I suddenly became a woman.

Somehow, I ended up going to America.

I couldn’t adapt at school again.

I attracted a lot of attention because of how I looked again.

I faced the worst possible ending.

I became a shut-in who couldn’t leave my room.

No, was I a shut-in from the beginning?

‘It’s scary.’

Wild cried.

After losing to me.

Am I going to lose another person I know?

I can’t even dare to offer comfort.

Because I’ve learned how dangerous it is for someone who has everything to comfort someone who doesn’t.

There’s really nothing I can do.

Even if I have all of that and I’m not really happy.

I shouldn’t say those words.

Why are you faking it? How can you think you’re unhappy when you have what I don’t?

You shouldn’t do that.

I’ve heard those stories too many times.

I can’t open my mouth.

It’s frustrating.

Those three sentences summarize all of that.

“I didn’t really bet my life on the game.”

“My head gets dizzy every time people feel a wall and are jealous.”

“Am I doing something wrong?”

The fact that people eventually meet people like themselves isn’t just because well-off people cut out bad people.

I don’t want to divide people into classes.

But what can I do when there are too many people who get angry at me for not dividing them into classes, for crossing the line?

Life isn’t easy.

---

Jealousy and envy.

Because Victory was receiving so much hatred as someone famous, he could understand what Jeon Jeonseol was saying even if she said it terribly.

So many people desperately trying to control his emotions, wanting to drag him down from his brightly shining position.

But, Wild isn’t like that.

“Joon hyung isn’t the type to be jealous of someone who’s better than him at games. Rather, he burns with fighting spirit. So, don’t worry.”

“But he cried.”

“It must have just been a moment of heightened emotion.”

“You’ve been with him for 3 years, and I’ve only been playing for 3 months.”

Maybe it’s a little different.

You had to perk up your ears to hear the ant-sized voice.

She really does have a beautiful voice.

“The fact that she’s asking me for advice means she trusts me a little, right? I’ll guarantee it as someone like that. Believe me. Joon hyung isn’t that weak of a person.”

“……I’m glad if that’s the case. I’m really sick of being hated for things like this.”

“Has this happened before?”

“……I shouldn’t be talking about this anywhere.”

“Of course, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Actually, I have a lot of money, I’m smart, and I’m pretty. It’s not just that I’m good at games.”

It was a somewhat absurd story.

Is that really what someone who’s feeling incredibly depressed is saying?

“That’s a lot of confidence.”

“If I try to be even a little humble, is this a boast? What about the people who are worse than you? It’s a total mess, you know? Then what am I supposed to do! Am I supposed to live my whole life with my mouth zipped shut? Huh!?”

Victory could feel the sincerity in her escalating tone.

“It looks like you’ve been through a lot.”

“Yeah! How can you be so okay? The whole world is watching with their eyes peeled, trying to find fault with me. What’s your secret?”

“I wouldn’t exist if there were no people. I was able to be this successful because people were cheering me on and watching me. If I want to repay them, I have to work harder.”

“Isn’t that an answer copied from a textbook? Where did you get educated?”

“I am who I am now because people watch me. I definitely think about it every time I open my eyes in the morning.”

“Is this a hidden camera! I’m not broadcasting!”

“I’m serious.”

“Damn it! Victory! Is even your mentality the strongest!?”

“Living a life of gratitude is healthier than living a life of complaining. So, I’m trying to think that way more. There are actually many things to be grateful for.”

“It’s not like I’m only a person who has complaints and dissatisfaction! It’s just that I’m bitter because I get hit too much! I know that my situation is very good. But still! It’s not like my dad earned money by doing bad things! Why do I have to live so cautiously!”

‘She’s the type to make enemies easily.’

Living life, there are many cases where you have to get through with appropriate social skills.

But people who flinch every time that happens, people who explode often, will inevitably end up having many enemies.

It seems that Jeon Jeonseol lacks some social skills.

It seems like she has a lot built up inside.

“How about releasing your anger with hobbies like taking walks or doing ” 덕질 (deokjil) [being a fangirl/fanboy]?”

Victory actually meditates often.

That’s why he recommended it.

“No, so listen! I said on the broadcast that I would never go to the autograph session, but I secretly went! There were guys who came all the way there, looking for me with their eyes peeled! Even my sister’s photos were doxxed and permanently archived on the internet! I don’t think they were sure, though. But still, because of me!”

“It’s not because of you.”

“It is! I should have been more careful! I shouldn’t have taken her to a place like that!”

“You haven’t been broadcasting for very long, so you might not be used to that kind of thing and might not have thought about it. Don’t blame yourself too much.”

“What if a stalker comes to my sister? What if something really big happens because of me?”

A normal person would have thought that her worries were excessive, that she was being paranoid.

‘Isn’t there a reason why she’s so worried?’

Victory thought.

‘But can I ask her about that?’

He was worried because it could be a sensitive topic.

But after reflecting on Jeon Jeonseol’s words and actions today, he came to the conclusion that it was right to ask.

She seemed to need interest and understanding.

“Has there been a similar incident before?”

“…….”

“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s hard for you. I’m sorry for suddenly asking.”

“I almost got shot once.”

Another topic that’s difficult to answer easily.

This person has lived a life with more stories than I thought?

“It didn’t seem like they were planning to target me, but it was a mass shooter, right? What if their mind suddenly changes for some reason? With the thought that I could get shot at any time. I couldn’t think of anything else. It was really terrible. The world is a scarier place than I thought.”

“I can’t even imagine it.”

“It’s all because I’m too pretty!”

How do you connect from that word to that word?

Victory became curious, but couldn’t ask.

Did cowboys have a duel over her?

“I’m really going to go crazy if something happens to my sister.”

“Then how about a realistic measure? Like buying self-defense products.”

“Would that really be practical? Is it possible for someone who hasn’t been trained to deal with such emergencies properly?”

“Wouldn’t it be better than having nothing?”

“Yeah. You need something to protect yourself.”

“I’ll look into it too.”

“Huh? Why would you?”

Because you’re consulting with me…….

She was a friend who really made it hard to speak.

Jeon Jeonseol.

‘Her life has really been eventful.’

A witness to a mass shooting.

That was a position I couldn’t even imagine.

As expected, everyone has their own story.

Before judging someone, you should first find out their story.

“Because you’re my friend?”

“Th, is that so.”

“Yeah. Joon hyung is going to think of you as a friend too, so don’t worry too much.”

“Will he be able to not hate me…….”

The loneliness of a genius who was much further ahead than others without any effort, and therefore received too much hatred.

Victory actually had a hard time understanding.

Because their ways of life were completely different.

But what was fortunate for Jeon Jeonseol was.

That Victory was the owner of an open mind that tried to understand others.

“If you’re so anxious, should the three of us meet up sometime?”

“You want to know how I look because I said I’m pretty! Are you a face reveal beggar too!?”

“No.”

It seemed like she was too lonely.

It seemed like she wanted to confirm Wild’s thoughts too.

But it seemed like she was scared to talk directly.

I was just trying to set up a meeting.

‘Just how pretty is she to be like that?’

Victory is trying to have understanding, but if it goes that far, I can’t help but think about the possibility of delusions.

She’s actually good at the game, though.

It’s become impossible to know if the rest is real.