Chapter 10. Stubbornness and Arrogance (1)

Chapter 10. Stubbornness and Arrogance

The difference between having a mentor and not having one seems to have a significant impact on skill growth.

Until now, I didn’t have anyone like that. That is, someone who could tell me I was doing well.

The Priest was a good person, but also an ordinary clergyman.

He knew his field, theology, well, but in other areas, he was just an ordinary person. He wasn’t particularly skilled in swordsmanship or magic.

And I never excelled in theology. In the first place, I wasn’t very interested in theology.

The Nun Superior was also… a good person, but strict. The Nun Superior’s main concerns were that the nuns remained like nuns and that each individual was educated without going astray.

She was also knowledgeable in theology, but like the Priest, she wasn’t a specialist with exceptional knowledge in other areas.

“And, I never really talked about my worries with others.”

After moistening my throat with water, I said to Ria, who was sitting next to me.

“After all, my biggest worry stems from not believing in the concept of God. Thinking about it now, I think I was too stubborn.”

If I had known I would end up being a Saint candidate, I should have just lived more docilely. Although my relationships wouldn’t have changed completely, I might have experienced less stress.

“And… by not telling others and just letting it pass, I think I also didn’t seriously consider my talents.”

The Saint in the original work knew how to fight, at least. Although it wasn’t very noticeable because Lee Chae-eun, who guarded her, was right beside her, she had the skill to wield a weapon.

Then again, I didn’t want to be a Saint in the first place and intended to have a normal office job like others, so perhaps my thoughts were just a bit off track.

“Hmm…”

Perhaps it was because I brought up such a heavy topic. Ria, who heard my story, pondered for a moment.

We had just swung swords at each other a moment ago. I held a large riot shield and swung a wooden sword slightly longer than a dagger, while Ria wielded a wooden sword of the same size as the one she usually used.

The result was my complete defeat. And that was only because Ria went easy on me, making it somewhat bearable.

But I wasn’t discouraged by that. My skills, as Ria said, were steadily improving. At least I’m confident I won’t be defeated if a low-level monster suddenly appears before me.

Whether Ria won or lost the sparring match, it’s not easy to fight in a nun’s habit in the increasingly hot weather. Even Ria was drenched in sweat.

Her pure white neck glistened with sweat, and I quickly averted my gaze. Perhaps that was the reason I wasn’t concentrating well today.

“Haa.”

Ria, lost in thought, let out a sigh.

Then she scratched her head with her hand,

“Well, I’ve had similar feelings before.”

She said, as if confiding in me.

“Similar feelings?”

“Yeah. People have expectations of me. I’m the daughter of a famous hero. Not just famous, but the daughter of one of the first heroes in this country. Someone who became known as a ‘Hero’ for her actions when the Gate incident first broke out, a true hero, not an institutionalized one?”

That’s not bragging or anything.

Even now, the registered heroes are called ‘Heroes’ because the term ‘Hero,’ which was used for people who were active when society was on the verge of collapse and related systems hadn’t even been established yet, became fixed as the word people used.

It was a time when ‘hero’ was not a proper noun. Ria’s father was already called a hero by people back then.

“And my mom is amazing too.”

Ria didn’t explain further. That memory must be painful for Ria too.

“So, everyone expected things from me. My dad, my uncle, and the people I was with. You know? Even my friends had expectations? If I became the greatest hero, they would benefit too, right? Well, they didn’t become friends solely for that reason, but they could have expectations.”

“…”

In the original work, there weren’t many descriptions of Lee Chae-eun feeling such pressure.

There were a few descriptions of her disliking it. Scenes where she expressed her dislike for others’ expectations and her dislike for living a life confined to a mold.

If Ria’s episodes had continued, that would have been the content.

How great that pressure must be. How difficult it is to grow up receiving such expectations from childhood. I couldn’t really imagine it.

“The reason I came here too… I was embarrassed to talk about it, but yes. I complained a bit to my dad because of that. I just turned an adult and wanted to do some things I wanted to do, but my dad told me to become a hero.”

Ria said with a bitter smile.

“Not just being registered and getting a license to be called a hero, but a real hero. Honestly, I was sick of hearing about premarital chastity and things like that from someone who just became an adult.”

I know Ria fought with her father. It’s also mentioned in the original work.

And the words Ria said to her father in anger.

“He also told me to live piously. He said that even though I’m registered with the government, it’s good to be close to church people for a strong backing. Moreover, since God actually exists in this world, being pious would be truly helpful.”

“…It’s a bit too blunt.”

I made that assessment cautiously. I couldn’t say anything harsh because it was someone else’s father. After all, even if someone criticizes their sibling, it’s hard to tolerate someone else doing it.

Besides, Ria’s words were about a legitimate complaint, not exactly a disrespectful remark or anything.

“Right? So I talked back a bit.”

Ria said that, then rested her chin on her hand and fell into thought for a moment.

“No, I don’t think I just talked back.”

Then she revised her expression.

“…”

Knowing what she had talked back with, I remained silent.

“I asked if my mother died because she didn’t believe in God.”

I had no idea how to respond to that statement.

If the other person were someone who clearly believed in God and had a religion, I would have just said so. Saying “May she rest in peace” is a common courtesy. Even if I’m an atheist, I’m not so much of a psychopath as to reject such words in front of someone who has lost a loved one, by saying there’s no afterlife.

However, somehow, it didn’t seem like Ria wanted that.

Ria’s mother had passed away a long time ago. After saving countless lives. And Ria said such a thing about her, swept up in emotion.

She probably just needed someone to confide in.

“…”

The reason Ria’s father sent her here. And the reason Ria started hanging around with the ‘Saint candidate.’

“…Ah.”

Ria’s face, which had been in heavy silence, turned pale.

“Ah, um, well, actually, I didn’t mean to say that. I just wanted to tell you not to feel too much pressure?”

“Ria, it’s okay.”

I said, placing my hand on Ria’s arm.

It’s a mistake that can happen.

There’s a ‘category of normalcy’ in the world. Everyone’s personality is different, and therefore, their stories are different. But still, there are overlaps.

Regardless of the father’s personality or the mother’s personality, statistically, the number of people who have lived a normal life with their parents would be greater than those who haven’t. Considering this country, where public order is relatively stable.

Even at work, I saw the copyists make mistakes sometimes.

People inevitably see the world through their own perspective. You don’t really know what kind of life someone else has had until you hear it directly.

Ordinary people’s ordinary stories sometimes leave scars on those who have lived extraordinary lives.

In this world, I have no family.

Well, it’s okay. I had a family in my previous life.

Besides, to be honest, my family said even harsher things than Ria’s father.

“It’s okay, Ria. You can tell me.”

I said with a slight smile, holding Ria’s arm.

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“…”

At my words, Ria looked a little dazed.

Since the incident last time, Ria had been wearing the friendship ring on her hand. I had been wearing it all along.

Although people sometimes looked at us with eyes that seemed to see something peculiar, no one said anything. After all, what meaning would it have to say anything?

It’s natural for friends to confide in each other about things they can’t tell just anyone. Even if it’s not a solution to a problem, it can lighten the heart.

Ria looked at my face for a while without saying anything, then turned her head away, avoiding my gaze.

“…Still, well.”

Ria mumbled, not looking directly at me.

“It’s a good thing you’re here.”

At those words, I smiled brightly too.

I deliberately twisted my body to look at Ria’s face, but Ria never showed her face until the end.

I guess I can’t keep up with her reaction speed.