Chapter 3. Faith and Status (6)

The conversation continued for about 10 minutes after that.

And after those 10 minutes of conversation, realizing something was wrong, I immediately took Ria and went to find the Cardinal.

Well, even I am someone influenced by Confucianism. I don’t believe in ancestral spirits at all, but I understand how helpful etiquette can be when needed.

Basically, the Cardinal is a busy person, and he had things to do even after the meeting.

So I had to wait outside for about 30 minutes. Of course, this was also because they gave me some consideration due to my status as a Saint Candidate, or even a status on the verge of becoming a Saint.

“Why? Isn’t she your supporter, the one you wanted? Why didn’t you talk a bit longer?”

“No, no matter what…”

“Why? Is there a limit to atheism?”

“Ugh.”

And for those 30 minutes, Ria sat next to me and kept needling me. I could only grit my teeth without being able to properly respond to her words.

After waiting for about 30 minutes, people came out of the room.

Some were in suits, and some were clergy. Elderly nuns and priests.

They all recognized me and bowed politely as they passed. Surprisingly, Lee Si-yoon, dressed in a suit, was among them.

He was one of the people who testified so enthusiastically earlier. Well, it was inevitable. He was healed by me in a life-or-death situation.

But did he have to be so passionate? He could have just said something like, ‘My HP was refilled after receiving the heal.’

Lee Si-yoon quickened his pace slightly upon receiving my resentful gaze.

Ria, standing next to me, let out a strangely satisfied chuckle, so I poked her side, but she didn’t say anything like me, which made me angrier.

After waiting for everyone to pass, we went inside, but the Cardinal’s office was not as luxurious as I expected.

Ah, of course, the ceiling was a bit high, but that was it. Without any grand decorations, it looked like a room in the church had been converted into an office.

“You requested an interview.”

The Cardinal gestured to the guest table and said. While we sat and waited, the Cardinal personally brewed tea and brought out snacks.

I was momentarily stunned by his surprisingly humble demeanor.

Clinking the teacups as he placed them in front of us, the Cardinal sat in a seat facing me and Ria.

Did he notice something in my expression? His slightly curved eyes looked as if he had found something interesting and was delighted.

“Do you have something you wish to say?”

To his polite voice, I hesitated for a moment and then,

“…Um, was the defense attorney hired by the church?”

I asked cautiously.

Honestly, I wanted to argue as soon as I entered the room, but since the other party was so polite, it felt awkward to be unilaterally rude.

“Of course. Is there perhaps a problem?”

Various thoughts came to mind.

For example, why did they choose that person without asking my opinion, why wasn’t there a more proper scientist, and why wasn’t it someone who could critically observe from a distance with a skeptical mindset?

But I couldn’t bring myself to argue like that, so I opened my mouth cautiously.

“May I ask the reason for choosing that person?”

Seeing me ask questions with a rare, very polite attitude, Ria’s shoulders trembled as if she was about to burst into laughter again. I wanted to elbow her, but it was a very important conversation, so I couldn’t.

“There are several reasons.”

The Cardinal slowly opened his mouth.

“First, she is the most famous ‘atheist’ in this country.”

“…….”

I can understand that. After all, she appears on TV and is the representative of a research institute.

However, in reality, most people who appear on TV also run research institutes. Generally, such institutes are not large buildings but rather hastily converted houses.

The size of the building doesn’t symbolize authority or credibility, but conversely, it means anyone can establish such an institute and claim to be its representative.

“And not only is she famous, but she is also the most respectable group among them, and most importantly, among those who advocate atheism, she does not put forth other conspiracy theories besides ‘atheism’.”

“……Other conspiracy theories?”

“Stories like the Earth being flat, the Apollo moon landing being a US conspiracy, or that we are actually reptilian humanoids disguised as humans.”

“…….”

Ah, right, indeed.

In this world, atheism was categorized as a conspiracy theory.

Naturally, it would often be linked to other conspiracy theories.

“At least they only claim scientific evidence. Of course, their argument that they want to scientifically prove holy power, and that holy power, magic, and physics are already under the same theory, weakens their persuasiveness a bit, but at least they are not people who would try to make money by exploiting Sister Anna.”

“…….”

Ah, yes, right, indeed.

With my memories from my past life, I can think like an adult, but in the eyes of the people here, I am just a newly adult.

And someone who has just become an adult is not much different from a teenager. They have gained the right to go out into society, but they are still in a position to be protected by society.

Moreover, since I am said to have lived my entire life in the church, they probably thought I was more dangerous.

……Thinking about it, the arguments made by atheists in reality were also of that kind.

“If there are miracles and God, then present scientific arguments and evidence for why they can exist.”

Naturally, what religious people can do is present ‘parts not scientifically proven’ as evidence, thereby making God a being squeezed into the shrinking space of science, or simply accept the scientific parts and think, ‘Perhaps that is also God’s will.’

The problem is, in this world, it’s the opposite direction.

The principle is still unknown, but the phenomenon clearly exists, and the phenomenon becomes more solid as it follows God. In fact, the reason I can wield such immense power is probably because I can be sure of the source of that power.

“So, what did you talk about just now that made you come to find me right away and say such things? Did you not like the content of the conversation?”

“Well…”

I rolled my eyes back and forth.

The Cardinal waited patiently for my story.

Even though my first impression was so bad, and my current attire is by no means what a nun should wear, he didn’t seem to view me entirely negatively.

At least, this person doesn’t think my power is fake.

…Could it be that taking away my rights but leaving my position as it was is similar to withholding pocket money from a rebellious granddaughter? Even though they couldn’t arbitrarily demote me from Saint Candidate, they accepted the words of the priest and the Nun Superior that I wasn’t a heretic.

Distracted by other thoughts, I confirmed that the Cardinal was still looking at me intently, waiting for my next words, and I opened my mouth hesitantly.

“Well, the power I used might have just been a coincidence…”

“Hoho.”

The Cardinal took a sip of tea.

“Did you present any basis for that?”

“Near the gate, perhaps it was influenced by what’s beyond the gate…”

“Then, what about the power you usually show?”

“I didn’t really talk about that far.”

I spoke slowly, watching his expression.

“Because I denied the existence of the being above…”

“You mean God.”

“I don’t think of it as God, but yes, I can’t really deny that being itself.”

“So, you deny that the being is God, but you don’t deny ‘that being’ itself?”

“When I use holy power, I feel that being, so how can I deny it?”

“Is that so? Then why do you use that power? If you don’t believe in God and haven’t studied scriptures, couldn’t that power be dangerous or evil?”

“That’s…”

I paused for a moment.

How should I explain this?

I have never directly communicated with the being above. I have never sincerely prayed like others, nor have I ever tried to ask it anything.

However, there is one thing I can be sure of as I get closer to that power.

That being dislikes people getting hurt.

That being, which is neither omniscient nor omnipotent, genuinely rejoices in saving people through me.

Therefore, I can borrow that power without much hesitation. Moreover, I was someone who had even read novels.

If it’s just to deceive me, then so be it. What can I do about my personality? At least, I’m not the type to stand by and not use the power to save someone in front of me. I’m also the type who likes to meddle, and honestly, I find myself a bit bothersome at times.

“Then, I would like to ask just one more thing.”

As I hesitated without saying anything, the Cardinal asked calmly.

“The position of Saint is a very high position. Even higher than my own. Why do you want to refuse it when you have the power to reach it? There’s so much you could do if you reached that position.”

You can’t have sex.

Uh, no, no, that’s not it.

No, that’s true, but I can’t say that in front of this old man.

Ria is also here.

So, I stated the other reason I always think of.

“If I had reached it through my own power, through my own efforts, I would have gladly accepted it, but that’s not the case. If I reach it through the power of a being I cannot fully trust, what can I truly do?”

Well, ‘I don’t want to’ is also the biggest reason.

If someone who doesn’t want to do it goes to such a high place, will they do their job properly?

If it’s just to make a living, I don’t know. Such jobs have lower authority, so there’s not much responsibility.

But, a representative of God for humanity?

Given my personality, who knows what I might do if I went to such a place with so much authority.

I don’t want to be remembered as the worst Saint in history.

“Is that so.”

The Cardinal only replied like that and took another sip of tea.

“However, we cannot stop the verification.”

“Ex.”

“If there’s a problem after reaching a higher stage, it can’t be helped, but we received recommendations from Saint Candidates, so at least. There are many verification procedures anyway, and the defense attorney’s role is simply to provide reasons why you are not a Saint. And, strictly speaking, a Saint Candidate cannot recommend their own defense attorney.”

Ah, right.

Regardless of the reason, they are someone who denies my ‘position’.

The more I dislike them, the more it means they are suited for that position.

Hearing the Cardinal’s words, I sat there blankly for a while.

No, I thought the Cardinal would just dislike me.

Why?

Seeing the light shining on my face again, I instinctively tried to brush it away with my hand, but then I hesitated and lowered my hand, seeing the Cardinal calmly watching me.

In the end, I couldn’t utter a single word of rebuttal until I left that room.