episode_0080
by adminYeon-i came into the restaurant.
In fact, that alone was a relief, because I thought the child might die.
How can a child who has killed his emotions know what to do and feel safe?
I couldn’t help but be satisfied that the child came back healthy.
I remember talking about something, but I don’t remember what we ate.
I couldn’t tell if it was because of that or some other reason, but
Even if the child sits still, I feel… anxious.
Every single action of the child eating greatly affected me. I wondered if the child would show even a little bit of emotion.
Even if it’s just a little bit good, wouldn’t the child do something?
I wonder if it will show that I am flustered.
I could only watch as each and every one of those expectations was shattered and torn to pieces right before my eyes.
The anxiety that was coming towards me was growing, but there was nothing I could do. I had no idea what to do.
Previously, it didn’t take long to find a methodology, but now… .
No it wasn’t.
There was no path in sight. It seemed as if there was some kind of easy path, but there was none. There was none. Why?
It also meant that I was that foolish.
“Is it delicious?”
“Yes.”
The child’s words as if there was nothing special about him. Even if the meal ended like that, there was nothing I could say.
Because the child doesn’t say anything more than that. Even if I wanted to talk to Yeon-i, she wouldn’t let me.
Was it because I was half-asleep while eating? Or was it because I was eating uncomfortably?
I also felt like my stomach was being crushed.
“Hoo… . Okay, shall we go out now?”
“Yes!”
However, what is bothering me now is that my anxiety is growing.
I had a feeling I was missing something. There couldn’t have been no raids for this long.
It was right that we had to find out where they were and attack them wherever they were.
The ability to block our gaze comes from the Azure Dragon, so let’s just argue with the Azure Dragon.
There was no way the king would not notice something like this.
A king who had been involved in wars would not be lax about something like that.
If that’s the case…?
Something felt ominous. No other thought came to mind than that I had already written down the number.
So if they didn’t do anything and were this quiet, there was nothing she could do.
How can you possibly deal with it, how can you possibly prepare for it, when you don’t know what that damn dragon is doing?
“ha-”
It was a situation that made me sigh.
No, it might be more accurate to say that it is a situation that leaves one sighing.
I just hoped that all of this was just my wish.
“Okay, then let’s go there.”
“Where are you talking about?”
“There’s a place that the young master recommended. The village where the dawn breaks.”
“Are you going to hear about it?”
“Yeah. Your father told you to go see the world.”
It was just a fancy word I made up, but I wanted the child to truly believe it.
“… .”
I hope that everything I do will reach this child and help him get back what he has lost… .
The child was silent. It seemed as if the words had not made much of an impact.
That was sadder than I thought.
It was difficult to accept the sad reality that my words would not reach my child.
More than that, I hated the way the child looked at me like that, without saying anything, with an empty gaze.
I didn’t want to accept the fact that my child had no feelings for me and that our way of raising children was ultimately killing them.
‘Even if I didn’t agree.’
Honestly, that’s the only thought I have. If only I hadn’t agreed.
Even as I was walking down the street, that thought never left my mind.
In the midst of passing through this road, you never know what kind of emotions the child will feel.
Thinking like that, I had to walk down the road, looking forward to that tiny bit of hope.
“… . Ha-.”
A little tired, I take a breath.
What does this mean? Thoughts ran through my head. Does it really mean anything? What should I do?
Is it right for this child to be with me? Countless such worries eat away at and dominate my mind.
it’s tough.
Up until now, I’ve held on with the faint thought that it might help this child.
But in the end, the child chose to erase his emotions while staying with me.
If that choice was made while I was there, it might have been the right choice for the child to be there.
-Kudduk.
I wanted to see Han-i too, and I wanted to see that person too. It felt like the depression that I never got even in the battlefield was coming on here.
It was a dark and sticky feeling, not a very pleasant one.
I don’t feel like doing anything, and I feel like my self-esteem is being diminished.
I don’t even know where my ambition to let my child experience the world and have a better life went.
It’s not like it just disappeared, it definitely still exists.
I couldn’t figure out why things were going this way.
Right now, I’m just hoping, just hoping that this kid doesn’t get any worse.
Yeon-i ended up leaving our house.
Well, that’s right, I said I was going to eat and then leave. In a way, it was an expected result.
But I didn’t like that.
Wasn’t she the child who loved me? Wasn’t she the child who followed me more than anyone else?
How could that relationship fall apart so easily? I couldn’t accept it.
‘… That’s not it.’
In fact, the relationship has not changed.
The child would still listen to what I said, and the fact that we were close would not change.
Rather, what changed was only the child’s reaction.
What I was angry about was nothing else. I was angry at myself for not explaining what it meant to kill emotions.
Aren’t you stupid?
This child did something without even knowing what it meant.
I wanted to protect the child. I wanted to be by his side no matter what.
At first, I just ignored it because it didn’t really matter if my child suppressed his emotions… .
That was shallow thinking. To have the hopeful mindset that it would never happen again.
What a stupid idea that is.
It seems like the best solution for a child when negative emotions arise.
“Hoo.”
I told my family and followed them from afar… .
I felt uneasy.
Deep inside my heart, whenever I thought about Lee Yeon, I felt even more hurt by the fact that the once cute child was now in more pain.
It was still a long way to get to the village where the hot springs were still being built. It would take several days.
In the first place, since that person was also a member of this village, it would be easy for him to go to the village where the sun was rising.
I could have just stayed by her side, but seeing Yeon-i looking so ruined made me feel like I was going to cry.
So, for now, let’s watch from afar.
I couldn’t help but think that was right.
“Tsk. Not here either.”
Half a day. During that time, the knights searched the inside of the Zhu Qu’s territory.
To be precise, the village where this mansion is located.
They were now in a situation where they were having a series of failed attempts.
Well, actually, it couldn’t be helped.
Connections between each family, that is, forming friendships, are almost taboo.
So, it was said that it was unlikely that the children of the Baekho family would act out of turn.
In addition, it was said that the one who disappeared was the illegitimate child of the Baekho family.
Someone who didn’t know these rules would never have committed such a kidnapping.
No, on the contrary, it might be possible to block it even more.
The Knights discussed several possibilities, but in the end only one remained.
The only topic everyone gathered around was where they had gone.
“Wasn’t there a message that this would be the last? However, since they acted as they pleased even after seeing the imperial edict that the conscription was near, they must have acted as they pleased in other things as well.”
“… I guess so.”
In the end, the story was that there was nowhere left for them to go but the Jujak family.
Of course, this is assuming you stay inside.
If not, then it would be nothing more than a waste of time… .
“There’s no way.”
I started going out to meet them in person.
Even though they were originally the king’s knights, it was taboo to enter their homes and do whatever they wanted, so the situation was a mess.
We were now in a situation where if we made a mistake we might lose the war and lose everything.
The disaster of liquidation is something that carries such risks.
… Not everyone, but there were quite a few people who heard these stories from their elders.
A noise that seemed as if the heavens and the earth were splitting apart. A flood of liquids that seemed as if anything would happen. There is no one who does not remember that disaster of liquids, when all emotions were stirred up in a disgusting way.
His cooperation was naturally deserved.
“I’ll catch you right away. You traitors.”
For the Knights, this was a given.
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