episode_0011
by admin-Pfft.
The sound of a blow echoes somewhere.
“Hey you little shits!!”
“Aaak!”
“Hey, why is the room leader like that?”
“I don’t know, whenever I harass that bastard, he’s like that these days.”
It wasn’t even a punishment room, it was just near the room.
Adults hear the sounds that resonate there but ignore them.
This place is half military and half servants.
In a place like this, where even servants are called in as soldiers, no one can find fault with such training.
That would be denying this place itself.
However, the kids below didn’t understand.
What would they think if they saw you swinging your weapon like that, getting angry like that, sitting there, when you were around six years old, and not knowing anything at the youngest and most delicate age of four or five?
‘Did the illegitimate child promise any position…?’
If you are the room leader, you are usually a superior.
The rule here is that if your superior is a jerk, you have to crawl.
Of course, the more this happened, the more vicious their bullying became.
Does he know that Lee Yeon-i doesn’t care what anyone says or does?
The fact that it doesn’t matter is something we can see from his actions now.
‘I won’t stop until the bullying stops.’
Such thoughts were already filling his head.
These days, I’m just walking down the street quietly, but I keep falling down a lot these days.
Well, I kind of understand the reason.
‘Aside from that, was today the day to do that?’
I think he said he would start practicing his abilities starting today.
If you ask me what’s important, it wasn’t that important to me either.
No matter how strong your abilities are, or whether you have them or not.
Am I just living?
Anyway, he’s a soldier, so what’s so important about ability?
In the first place, it was absurd that only I was receiving this kind of training.
Even if I am an illegitimate child, if I am not a sibling, I would not have priority in the succession.
So the reason he was raised as a soldier was to protect his family?
I think about it though.
What does that mean?
In the end, I just have to do what I’m told.
‘I said I’d see you at the training ground today too.’
-Thump thump.
As I walk along the street and think about it, the thought often arises: Who on earth is teaching this?
Who teaches it?
Since it was taught by someone who inherited the ability, it was almost a given that someone within the family would teach it.
If someone within the family teaches, it means that they are either the head of the family or the previous head of the family, or they are capable people who were pushed out of the succession battle and ended up in a collateral line.
‘Who will upload it?’
There was no need to worry about that.
“Are you here?”
“… .”
The person in front of me was someone I never would have thought of.
“What a confused face.”
“… Go.”
I met Gaju. It was something I never expected.
Go ahead.
But isn’t this an overly luxurious appointment?
I thought someone of direct lineage or ability would come.
“Come in.”
“Yes.”
As we entered the training ground, we saw a few familiar faces.
The two people who taught me were sitting there,
Gajuman was standing right in front of me.
“I will now teach you how to use your abilities.”
“… Yes.”
“Take your seat.”
I can’t see anything in your speech.
Even if it’s someone you’ve known for a long time, or someone you’re meeting for the first time, you can see a certain amount of it.
Same things about what to do and how to act.
‘Of course, Madam, you are having a hard time reading it.’
-dump.
I sat down and started listening to what he had to say.
“Now, you have to go inside yourself.”
“Aren’t you saying that?”
“Yes. It will enter your heart.”
What do you mean, “not in your heart”?
The phrase, “inside the heart,” was something I had never thought of.
“Get into a meditative posture, excluding the emotions you usually have, and go inside your mind.”
“Inside my heart… . Okay.”
I had to follow the instructions of the Master. I was a man who followed the teachings.
… began to quietly walk into the depths of my heart.
What I saw was a dark space.
Walking inside the heart was harder than I thought.
It was dark.
I don’t even know where it is.
-Krrr.
Inside, the sound of something crying continued.
The sound of something crying made my head spin.
“… . Ha… .”
The things that appeared before my eyes were diverse.
What lay before me was a clear demonstration of what I had been through.
Things I try my best not to think about, things I try my best not to see.
They filled my sight.
Things from my childhood kept passing by.
One year old.
No, to be exact, right after birth.
I was sent to a place where there were no people.
To be exact, he was sent to a place where there was no white tiger.
“Ha… ?”
The memory of that time is a memory that doesn’t exist in my head. A memory that I’ve never seen.
I couldn’t even hear properly what people were saying.
I was just abandoned in this cold, cold place.
I only knew that fact.
He started growing up normally like a worker here.
From when I was about two or three years old, a specific education began for me.
From this point on, I could understand the words clearly.
From this time on
“Your Majesty!”
“Huh? Why am I the master?”
I always asked that question.
Because I felt that the expression ‘Master’ was an impossible word for me.
In the first place, other people didn’t call me that.
Usually, it was ‘You’ or ‘Baek I-yeon’. Those were the usual names by which I was addressed, and the title ‘Master’ was a special word to me.
For me, someone who said such unusual things felt special.
So, I trusted and followed this man. At least until this happened to me.
I went around telling people about the unusual nicknames I had heard.
Then the answer that came back was….
“You heard that I was a master? From that person?”
“Yes… .”
“You… I see.”
The people nodded as if they understood and spoke to me.
“Then you are an illegitimate child.”
“?!”
“Not nobles like us.”
The tone of voice suddenly became cold.
A sudden change in attitude.
It all just baffled me.
I don’t know what that term, illegitimate child, is, but it doesn’t seem like a good term for them.
Since that day, the way I’ve been treated has changed.
Where did the people who treated me so kindly, even though I was the same person, go? I spent most of my daily life dealing with them.
“Ugh… . Ugh… .”
As a young child, he was beaten to the extent that his body could bear, and was mentally pushed to the extent that he could bear.
It was their attitude, always accustomed to pain and corporal punishment.
I didn’t try to endure it. I asked the person I trusted the most through it all.
The answer that came back then was.
“Master. Master, you shouldn’t have feelings. Do you feel wronged and find it difficult? Then forget about it and let it go.”
At first, I didn’t understand what he was saying. But my instructor, who I thought was a trustworthy person standing in front of me, focused on removing most of my emotions.
I couldn’t understand it.
Because I saw with my own eyes that I had no one on my side. Because I faced the fact with my own eyes that there was no one who could help me.
I just had to forget and let go of all those emotions I had been feeling.
It seemed like I was just repeating the same experience of everything going dark.
It was dizzying to me that all these things I was looking at were becoming like pitch black darkness. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but at the time, I thought it was because I was doing everything wrong.
So then, why was I born?
Why am I alive?
If I’m living because I’m doing everything wrong, then why am I alive?
I felt these thoughts filling my head and making it so overwhelming that I couldn’t think of anything else.
However, at that time, I had numerous thoughts.
‘The only way I can avoid this is to just forget about it, like he said.’
Really, forgetting was the answer. No matter what I did or how I did it, I had to erase it from my true memories.
There was no other way that I knew of.
So, from then on, I erased what had happened to me from my mind, so that I would never remember it again.
So, the memories that I had forgotten and forgotten came back to me.
That feeling made me- suffer.
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