Chapter 26: [Going over it] Mom’s coming out!!! [Yuki/Lunaverse] (2)

The game wasn’t as hard as I expected.

It was clearly my first time playing, but the controls felt like second nature—like I’d been doing this for ten years.

After falling a few times, I quickly got the hang of it. Before I knew it, I barely slipped on most stages.

Whack!

The hammer slammed down on the snow-covered ground.

As usual, I used the hammer like a foot to move.

But since everything was covered in snow, the hammer slipped a lot more than it had on earlier terrain.

“This is harder than I thought…”

– fr lmao

– snow level’s the actual beginning

– time for Primeval?

– Primeval! Primeval!

– let’s go back to the Start once more

“What do you mean, ‘Primeval’? A perfect lady like me could never fall, you know?”

– lol?

– still clinging to that ‘lady’ concept

– lmaooo

– RP’s crashing and burning again

For what it’s worth, I am playing a lady character.

My manager already chewed me out once for breaking character, but technically speaking, I am still a lady.

“A noble young lady should set a proper example in all things. Ever heard of noblesse oblige?”

[FluffyYukiFur donated 1,000 won!]
– It’s ‘noblesse oblige’, you dummy

– lololol

– dumba~

– hahaha

– that HAS to be part of the bit

– no way this… is a lady?

– lmao

Ah. So it’s noblesse oblige, huh.

Whatever. As long as you get the meaning, it counts, right?

I casually brushed off the Yuki-dan’s corrections and stepped forward with the hammer again.

Sliiide.

And then… the hammer slipped.

The pot lost its support and began falling way too fast for me to recover.

“No, no!!”

I flailed the hammer wildly as I screamed.

But there was nothing to grab onto in the direction I was falling. The pot kept plummeting.

Thunk!

And just like that, I crash-landed.

“F***kkkkkk!!!”

Bang! Bang! Bang!!!

I immediately started rage-smashing my keyboard like a shotgun.

That all-too-familiar scenery faded in from the top of the screen.

The long stretch of plains, the familiar rock formation on the right…

It was the Primeval Village.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!”

/Never gonna give you up~ Never gonna let you down~/

Instead of narration, that infuriating song started playing.

It was some kind of cheesy, upbeat song, but I didn’t care. I screamed like a gremlin.

[SlittyEyesUng donated 1,000 won!]

– Look! It’s the Primeval Village!!

“…”

– lololol

– she died AGAIN lol

– but fr snow area’s hard af

– no lies detected

– s*** lololol

[Mathgaki donated 10,000 won!]
– Died again? Typical Yuki trash~

Was that the 7th time?

F*** this game. Stop making it so damn hard.

At this rate, my desk and keyboard are gonna break before I even beat it.

They say it takes over 10 hours for a newbie to beat this game—it’s no joke.

Seriously, if someone really sucks, it’ll take them at least 10 hours.

“Haaah… Let’s try again.”

Once I calmed down a bit, I started moving the hammer again.

Time to climb the rock mountain.

Again.

---

[MommaBooty donated 1,000 won!]
– Too bad NewTube doesn’t allow video donations

“That’s a relief for me, honestly. If it did, I’d be completely exposed by now.”

– lol so true

– you think the Yuki-dan would hold back? lol

– they’d instantly clip your darkest moment

– hahahaha

In that regard, NewTube really is a solid platform.

Their copyright policy is strict, but it’s way easier to stream since there’s no video donation feature.

Anyway.

Why did the Yuki-dan bring that up?

Because I was just about to beat the snow zone.

Viewers always love it when a streamer fails right at the finish line.

Tap!

But if you thought I’d really fall there, then you’d be dead wrong.

My hammer was already hooked on the final ledge.

If I could just pass this part, I’d never have to see the snow zone again.

Assuming I didn’t fall, of course.

“Finally, I’ll be done with that cursed snow.”

My streamer name, “Yuki,” meant snow, but…

I actually hate snow.

It’s wet.

And I hate anything wet.

If snow gets in your shoes, you’re stuck with that gross feeling until you get home.

[PinkDumbbellOfPingChang donated 50,000 won!]
– This girl, Yuki hates snow lmaooo

“Thanks for the fifty thousand won. I mean, people can hate stuff, right? Just like a guy named Wang Sung-gi doesn’t necessarily like d*cks, you know?”

– lolololol

– that logic tho

– ultimate empathy play lmaooo

– didn’t see that one coming

After answering the Yuki-dan, I jumped back into the game.

Before I knew it, I’d left the snow zone and arrived at the “Modern” zone.

According to the chat, this was probably the final stage.

And as soon as I saw the layout, I understood why.

“…Is this a maze?”

The screen was packed with modern-day items.

Electronics, sports equipment—all tangled together, forming a dizzying, multi-path labyrinth.

– lol

– modern zone’s nuts

– let’s go, milk-colored Yuu~ki!

– she’s already dead inside

– that face tho lol

I displayed a spirally-eyed expression on the avatar and looked around.

Even on my second visit, I still couldn’t see the path.

Maybe my body got smaller, but did my brain shrink too?

With my IQ, there’s no way I was finding the route in under half an hour.

I’d need at least an hour to wander aimlessly.

“Ha… hahaha…”

Half-broken by the brutal difficulty, I let out a hollow laugh and lost consciousness.

“Wow~ the map’s pretty, right? Feels like looking at modern art or something.”

– lol

– what’s with her

– dodging the topic again lol

– she’s broken

– she’s done for

Looking at art is kind of soothing.

It looks complicated on the surface, but actually… yeah no, it’s complicated as hell.

“Using art to relieve the stress of daily life… isn’t that what we call ‘small but certain happiness’?”

– ?

– wtf

– small but certain my ass lol

– she’s totally lost it

– stream-of-consciousness much? lmaooo

[MaillardCream donated 5,000 won!]
– This girl’s finally gone mad lmao

As the Yuki-dan followed me into my descent into madness, I slowly moved the hammer to the right.

There was a crooked sickle-like structure there.

– uh oh

– ???

– don’t do it…

Ignoring the Yuki-dan’s warnings, I kept pushing the hammer forward.

Eventually, the hammer met the sickle.

“Expansionist Soviet tactics.”

Small but certain happiness: achieved.

– lmaoooo

– bruh

– glorious burn

– you f***ing communist!!!

– confirmed red alert

– LOLOL

– communist ON

– ‘small but certain happiness’ she said…

[HornyForYuki donated 10,000 won!]
– Yuki-chan… so you have turned red after all?

“What are you even saying? My eyes were red from the start.”

The red ideology that lives and breathes within me.

One day, I will paint the entire world in crimson.

Rise, Yuki-dan.

You too!

This is the International!

…Okay, maybe let’s not.

“Alright, alright, let’s get back to the game.”

– lol

– nice save

– zzzzzz

– Tiananmen?

– nothing… happened!

[BungeoppangSamanco donated 10,000 won!]
– Hey! Don’t just brush that off like nothing happened!

“Still, red jokes are risky business. What if NewTube starts doing political background checks?”

I’d rather not get waterboarded by the NewTube moderators.

My stream’s already on thin ice—I don’t need to poke more beehives.

Whack!

I launched myself forward again with the hammer.

The first obstacle was an S-shaped path.

I used the hammer’s recoil to leap into the air.

At the peak, I hooked onto the wall.

Then, using the protrusions like climbing holds, I ascended higher.

I arced upwards like a closing parenthesis, then hooked again to form an opening parenthesis.

Thankfully, I didn’t mess up, and I cleared the S-shaped path on the first try.

“EZ.”

– whoa

– real veteran

– dang, pro level

– she cleared that in one go

– crazy

“Heh. What can I say, Yuki-chan is a genius. This game’s a walk in the park.”

I scoffed and changed the avatar’s face to a smug doyagao expression.

(TL note: Doyagao (ドヤ顔): a smug or self-satisfied look. 😏 (๑•̀д•́ )✧)

– lol

– I’m mad

– she’s now an academy gaming prodigy

– that doyagao is too much lol

– ドヤ—!!

(TL note: The Japanese word ドヤ (doya) is a slangy onomatopoeic term that mimics the sound or feeling of someone showing off or being smug)

– I hate how smug she looks

Leaving behind the infuriated Yuki-dan, I kept playing.

The next challenge was a jumping section.

To land on the wooden stairs ahead, I had to jump across a pit that spanned half the screen.

[Yuki==CuttingBoard donated 5,000 won!]
– Jump section’s tough, think you can one-shot it?

“A jump? You think a gaming genius like Yuki can’t handle that?”

– yep

– straight back to Primeval

– fall fall fall

– time for another reset lol

– Primeval incoming~

“There’s no way I’m falling. Just watch.”

I slammed the ground with all my strength.

The pot leapt through the air.

It looked like I might not quite make it to the platform, but I still had a chance.

“Now I just need to hook the hammer and—”

– KIEEEEEEKKK

Suddenly, a swarm of bats flew across the screen.

“KYAAAAAAAH!!!!”

Startled, I screamed and let go of the mouse.

The hammer flailed in midair, and the pot, having lost all support, plummeted downward at high speed.

Thunk!

“…Ah.”

That familiar scenery once again faded in from the top of the screen.

The wide plains, and the all-too-familiar rock to the right…

It was Primeval Village.

Bang! Bang! Bang!!!

And so, until the end of the stream that day, I kept rage-smashing the keyboard like a shotgun.

The crack that formed on my wooden desk from all the pounding… is a secret I’ll take to my grave.