Chapter 10: If you kick my heart away, it will just be useless trash

“Uh… We don’t hire people with TS Syndrome…”

Rejected.

“I’m sorry, we can’t accept someone with TS Syndrome…”

Rejected again.

‘Thank you for your time… We regret to inform you that your application has been rejected.’

Rejected yet again.

After Sieun left, I spent days going to interviews, applying for jobs and part-time positions.

Every single one resulted in rejection. Companies, part-time gigs, all of them turned me away because of TS Syndrome. So much for equal opportunity.

“…F*ck.”

–Thud!

I kicked a harmless trash can. It toppled over, spilling its contents, mirroring my inner turmoil. My insides felt like garbage.

“Ha… What am I supposed to do now…?”

I’d acted so confident in front of Sieun, but now I felt lost and hopeless. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so stubborn… But I couldn’t go back on my word. I was a man!

“F*ck…”

Ironically, for someone clinging to manhood, I was getting the sh*t kicked out of me. Strangers, thugs I’d never seen before, surrounded me. “You’re Lee Yunha, right?” they’d asked. And then they beat me mercilessly. Blood filled my mouth, my body bruised and scraped.

“Today’s… not my day.”

It was an understatement. It was as if someone had cursed me.

I dragged myself home. My apartment, usually just… there, now seemed as pathetic as I felt.

–Burst

I stumbled inside, went to my room, and collapsed on the bed. Tears welled up, a torrent of frustration and despair. I don’t want to cry…

“F*ck… Why me…!”

My pillow soaked with tears, I spent hours alone, ranting and sobbing.

–Click

I grabbed a bottle of alcohol from the fridge. I rarely drank, but tonight, I needed it.

Ugh… the smell…

I hated the smell of alcohol, but tonight, I craved it.

–Glug

I poured myself a drink and swallowed. No snacks, just the burning liquid, again and again.

“F*ck… Why… why me…!”

I was drunk, my mind hazy, my judgment impaired, just like when Sieun drugged me.

“…This is so hard.”

Tears fell again. I don’t want to cry… Then I thought of her. Sieun. My savior.

I called her.

–Ring

She answered before the first ring finished.

[Hello? Yunha? Are you having a hard time?]
“Yes… It’s so hard… Please… come…” I sobbed.

[Yunha, have you been drinking? Why are you crying again?]
“I… I failed all my interviews… and I got beat up…”
[…Okay, I’ll be right there.]

Her tone was almost… cheerful, like she’d expected this. But I was too drunk to notice. I just cried, waiting for her.