episode_0026

(Teodora’s perspective.)

After the wedding ceremony…

The feast began.

The clown’s performance that started soon after.

It was a fun performance that I had seen a few times since I was young.

I quietly hoped that it would help me forget the gloomy emotions I was feeling, but…

The chubby clown in a ridiculous outfit raised his sword and shouted.

“Hehe~ I will conquer the empire! I am the Grand Duke of Francesco! Come here! You wench!”

“No way! If I have to marry a fat pig like you, I’d rather bite my tongue and die!”

Seeing that scene…

Memories of that day resurfaced.

– What are the executioners doing? Hurry up! Execute those devilish scum!

– Don’t do it! Don’t do it! They promised to spare our family!

That desperate day when I begged on my knees.

– Slice!

The day I lost my father and brothers.

The situation back then wasn’t as ridiculous as this.

Instead… it was painfully cold, and the deaths of my beloved family…

– Thud!

“Haha! Now that I’ve gotten rid of father, I am the Grand Duke! Mother… no! The princess is mine!”

“Oh my~ how lecherous!”

“Hehe, why don’t you come here? Not as a stepmother, but as a wife!”

“Ugh, I hate both pigs and idiots! Is there no knight to save me?”

-Hahaha!

-This performance is really funny!

Don’t mock it like that… Don’t mock it like that!

What do you know? Was that situation back then something to laugh at?

What did you do while watching my family die?

Laugh and chat while watching it? Pledge eternal loyalty to the emperor?

When our father suffered so much hardship.

What did you do?

Even now, as I am being sold to Debiang, no one is trying to stop it?

But you find that funny?

Anger and sorrow grip me, making my hands tremble.

You trash children.

Why did father trust and treat such scoundrels so well?

Such treacherous nobles and imperial subjects?

The imperial citizens who claimed to love father.

They couldn’t even lift their heads in fear of Balorong’s sword, they just sadly watched father disappear into the morning dew of the gallows, no one tried to stop it.

And yet… yet… dare to insult that event like this?

As I was about to shout in anger, my voice caught in my throat.

“Enough! Can’t you stop?!”

Debiang steps forward and shouts.

“Balorong is a devil worshipper, and I saved this empire by killing him! How dare you insult me and our household?! What are the guards doing?! Not arresting those clowns?!”

“Wait, Your Highness, the clown’s performance is satirical… we shouldn’t punish them…”

Pedro, the steward I’ve known since I was young, steps forward to calm Debiang’s anger, but…

Debiang glares coldly at Pedro and says.

“Then, will you pay the price for tarnishing my honor?”

Seeing Pedro unable to say anything and avoiding eye contact, for the first time, I felt a little… just a little pleased with Debiang’s actions.

“Your Highness, we are not guilty! Steward Pedro allowed this performance… we are not guilty.”

“P-please spare me! I only did as I was told.”

The clowns, seeing this, start pleading loudly.

What…? So Pedro ordered the clowns to do this?

Clown performances are meant to criticize and make those in power rethink their actions, but…

This is an act of disrespect towards the royal family.

Pedro… did you… really…?

I can’t believe it.

The loyal Pedro didn’t create the performance himself, but rather ordered the performance he wanted.

“Then, are you saying that this performance wasn’t voluntary for you guys?”

“Pedro, what is going on here?”

“I don’t know, they seem to be sacrificing me in order to survive.”

But Devian seems to dismiss it as impossible.

“I will listen to your words slowly in prison, release the guard clown and arrest that foolish steward!”

As if the clowns’ words were true.

“Please spare me!, Your Highness!, Please spare me!”

Devian expresses his dissatisfaction as he watches Pedro being dragged away by the guards, arms held tightly.

“Ugh, you’ve ruined the atmosphere.”

“W… well, then, let’s proceed with the flower of the feast, Choya.”

Finally… it has arrived.

A moment of shame and horror has come.

“Now! Let’s see if today’s protagonist, Your Highness, will drink or toast like a man~!”

-Drink!, Drink!

-The Ryan family always toasts!

-Brother! You know you should toast, right? Or should you drink below?!

As the host’s words end… the clowns clear the table in front of me with expressionless faces.

And…

Devian kneeling in front of me.

Our eyes meet in that moment.

In them, sadness…, and regret.

No… why are you looking at me with those eyes?

You’re the rebel who wants to take over the empire, right?

So you’re insulting me like this?

When I tremble at his hypocritical behavior. Devian, who seems to have crawled into my skirt unnoticed.

I hate it… it’s too horrible.

His breath on my legs makes every hair on my body stand on end.

Even if a venomous snake had crawled into my skirt, it would be less repulsive than this.

I feel something grabbing my underwear.

I’d rather… die in this moment…

Can I escape this humiliation?

It’s shameful and embarrassing.

Except for the maids who became teenagers, no one has seen that place…

To show it to such a person.

-Rustle!

With the sound of fabric brushing against me…

I feel a cold breeze on my lower body.

And as Devian raises my underwear…

-Swish!

-Hey! Devi! The Ryan family always toasts!

As I hear the cheers of the guests, I suppress the emotions I feel now.

-Shivering…

Really… today is the worst…

***

-Clap!

Devian claps his hands and turns on the light bulb.

“What…?”

I know that if I marry him, I have to spend the first night with him.

It’s really sad to be in that position where I have to do that with such a disgusting bastard, but I was prepared.

But…

Do I have to spend the first night in such a bright place…?

Even though I have to snuggle up to him…

This is too embarrassing.

I heard that the first night should only have dim candlelight.

Does this foolish man not know that?

When I think that, Devian takes something out from under the sofa.

Upon closer inspection…

A leather bag?

What is it? Is it… some kind of perverted device…?

My whole body starts to shiver.

Shouldn’t I run away now…?

But where to?

Where can I run to?

Somehow, Devian knows about the hidden secret passage in the palace.

And somehow he knew the day I was trying to escape, so the soldiers were lying in wait and brought me back here.

I… I don’t want to…

In fear of what might come out of that bag, I ask.

“W… what are you doing?”

“I have some documents that need to be reviewed by tomorrow, are you tired because of the wedding? Go wash up and rest for a bit.”

Documents…?

Feeling a bit relieved at his words, I head to the bathroom.

***

I soak my body in hot water, relieving the fatigue of the day.

What should I do… If I go out… I’ll have to do it, right?

Honestly… I don’t want to be held in his arms, even if I have to bite my tongue and die.

Because he is a villain.

He is the son of the wicked Balor and a man with a more sinister nature than Balor.

I would rather die than give my purity to such a man…

But I cannot die.

Then… no one knows what might happen to my mother and Joy.

He might inflict the same pain on Joy as he does on me, or even worse pain…

Today, I must embrace that disgusting man.

“Ugh…”

Tears fall, one by one, from the deep sorrow.

But I quickly gather myself.

Yes… I will return this insult two, no, a hundred, a thousand times over.

The humiliation I am enduring now is just for a moment.

Someday… that someday… I will make you feel how terrifying my revenge can be.

Imagining that moment, drawing it in my mind, finding solace in my heart.

“Teodora, are you in there?”

Deviang’s voice comes through.

Why is he calling me? Is he going to say something about taking too long to shower?

“Why?”

“Come out soon, I need to shower too.”

-Splash…

Yes… I knew this would happen, right?

I just need to return this insult…

No matter how much, I just need to return it a few hundred times over.

With that self-comfort, I say.

“Okay…”

I reply and finish up, coming out of the bathroom.

The moment I meet Deviang’s eyes.

He quickly looks away…

“I’ll shower and come out too.”

He passes me and heads to the bathroom.

And so… I wait for him to come out.

Is it really… happening today?

A marriage with him that sends chills down my spine just at the thought.

Living a life where I have to satisfy his sexual desires every day from now on… Is that what my life will be like?

I fall into despair.

Today… Can I somehow avoid it for just one day?

With that thought, I quickly get up and clap my hands.

-Clap!

The room darkens as the lights go out.

I pretend to be asleep on the bed…

If he forces me… it will be an unavoidable, despicable act.

But right now, I want to cling to even that.

Because being held by him is something I detest to the point of death.