episode_0520

After talking to Lilia once, I felt like I had opened up new horizons in many ways. Although it was a little embarrassing to see her talking about walls that I had never even imagined, as if she was not ashamed of them.

Things like naked sparring and horseback riding seem to clearly reveal her Bavarian roots.

No, maybe it’s actually Karaham’s wall. He’s so barbarian that it’s hard to tell him apart from others just by looking at him.

I wasn’t really interested in the two people’s walls themselves anyway. I just wanted advice on my relationship with Ethan.

As a result, as soon as I heard Lilia’s story, it became irrelevant.

‘Yeah, what does it matter how Cheweeny’s relationship is like?’

Up until now, I’ve been a bit intentionally restrictive. If Ethan makes too many demands of me, I might not be able to refuse him next time, even if I don’t like it, because of the difference in status between us.

But now? Even though we’re not married yet, Ethan is trying to treat me as an equal, so if I say no, he’ll understand and he won’t do the same thing next time.

I held myself back because I was afraid that if Ethan’s walls became too maniacal because of me, his original fiancée, Rainie, would be embarrassed. … It was a ridiculous misunderstanding, so now it was really a meaningless worry.

Anyway, Ethan’s only companion is me, and that will probably not change in the future.

Then, in the end, I had to be the one to accept all of Ethan’s walls. That was my duty as a wife to prevent him from having other concubines.

‘First of all, let’s get ready as soon as we get back today. Let’s wash our bodies clean inside and out, and move Iris’s cradle to Isabelle’s room for just one day…’

In the unlikely event that Ethan ever says he doesn’t want to accept his reward today, though.

If that happens…then just do it the normal way.

Now, between Ethan and me, the normal sexual relationship between a man and a woman was simply an expression of affection, without any special price or conditions that had to be paid or given in return.

‘It’s been a while, so I’m a little nervous.’

I hope it’s not like I suddenly became dull or anything just because I had a child.

I was waiting for evening to come with such thoughts.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

Ethan was still troubled.

This morning, after the magic swordsmanship class, he couldn’t figure out what Lilith’s question meant.

‘A wall so shameful that it cannot be spoken of…’

To be honest, it wasn’t that there wasn’t anything at all. Ethan was a man, so there were times when his thoughts veered toward the lewd side, and among those, there were also many curiosities that were a bit embarrassing for others to hear.

The most obvious example is, before breaking up with Lilith, did you imagine doing it ‘from behind’ with her? It wasn’t that I was particularly curious about her feelings, but rather because I wanted to see Lilith looking embarrassed.

If you allowed me to do that, I would be happy because I would be giving you even the most shameful part of myself.

… although lately, the wall on the other side has been bothering Ethan a little more.

‘If I say I want to do it while breastfeeding… she’ll probably get mad.’

Thanks to Iris, I get to see Lilith’s large breasts several times a day.

Every time Ethan saw her breasts, which had grown significantly since giving birth, he couldn’t help but fantasize about things he shouldn’t have.

Like Eris, who spent nearly half of her days in Lilith’s arms, sucking her breasts and receiving her love.

A small wish… to suck Lilith’s breast milk and feel her maternal love.

Ethan’s initial feelings for Lilith also started from a desire to feel maternal love from her, so it was natural that he would feel this desire again when he saw Lilith become a real mother.

‘…We clearly promised not to hide anything from each other.’

It was a promise made out of concern that Lilith might be hiding something from him and do something, but it was also a promise made to herself not to hide anything from her either.

So, when asked about the release, Ethan should have naturally revealed the sexual desires he had been hiding inside his heart… but he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

Even deliberately avoiding her questions by cowardly beating around the bush.

‘I guess I’ll have to go back to the dorm and be honest with you.’

Secrets only cause misunderstandings between people.

Moreover, if his wife always thinks in a completely different way from the average person, she might start imagining strange things if he doesn’t answer her properly.

So, even though it’s a bit embarrassing, I have no choice but to speak honestly.

…even though he had to endure the fact that Lilith would look at him with strange gazes as if he were looking at a pervert.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

Time passes again, and it’s dinner time.

Today, Ethan and I went to the shopping street to buy a proper dinner. Including Isabel’s share, who must have been tired from taking care of Iris at home all day.

These days, the three of us almost always had dinner like this. Isabelle didn’t have time to eat the dormitory meals because she was taking care of Eris, and I couldn’t eat dinner outside because I felt bad about leaving Eris alone with Isabelle all day.

Even though the relationship had changed to that of employer and employee, he was still the first friend I had made in this world, so I couldn’t treat him carelessly.

-Pick, pick, pick… .

“Yeah, yeah, Iris. Were you really hungry?”

As soon as I got home, I had to take care of Eris’s meal first, so I took her from Isabelle and started feeding her in the evening.

Since Ethan wouldn’t eat unless I sat at the table, dinner time naturally became late, but this was now a familiar routine.

“How was your day? Did you have a good time and not cry?”

“There wasn’t anything special except that he cried twice because he was hungry. He became quiet as soon as I gave him a bottle.”

“How much breast milk? Is it not enough?”

“I squeezed a lot of food in the morning, so there’s a little left. And I’m feeding baby food for one meal in the morning.”

He doesn’t cry much, eats his meals well, and doesn’t refuse baby food, so he seems to be behaving well.

Actually, at first I thought raising a child in a place like a dormitory wouldn’t be that easy, but it was surprisingly doable.

Is it because Isabel is doing a great job as Iris’s nanny? … Of course, no milk comes out.

As I was breastfeeding Iris with those thoughts in my arms, I felt a strange gaze looking at me from the other side.

“… … .”

“… … ?”

Ethan watches me closely as I hold Iris and breastfeed her.

At first, I tried to make eye contact with him because I thought he had something to say to me, but Ethan’s gaze was not on my face but on my chest. More specifically, on the face of Iris, who was sucking my breast milk.

‘Why are you staring at me like that, as if someone might say I’m not the child’s father?’

Ethan, you’ve become such a total fool for your daughter.

If he inherited Harold’s personality as it is, he’ll probably inherit the family’s foolish nature as well. If a man appears later to take Iris away, he might just pick up his sword and cut her down.

I have to control him well so that that doesn’t happen. After all, I can’t be by Ethan’s side.

“What are you staring at, Ethan?”

“Huh, what, what?!”

“You’ve been staring at Eris all this time. And you’ve been looking really nervous.”

“That, that was… me.”

Ethan was blushing and pretending not to know anything, as if he was embarrassed about something that was happening to him while looking at the child.

When I see that, I feel like I want to tease him again for no reason.

“What, are you embarrassed by that? You can watch your dad breastfeeding.”

“… That, that’s right.”

“Or maybe you’re jealous? Do you want to suck my breasts like Iris?”

“… Th, th, th, what does that mean?! I, I never even thought of something like that… .”

“… … ?”

What? This isn’t the reaction I expected.

I thought he would just shrug it off and say, “What are you talking about?” But now Ethan looked genuinely flustered.

As if his shameful inner thoughts had been revealed.

…Surely, do you really want to breastfeed like Iris? Seriously?

‘It’s a slightly different development from what I expected.’

Well, at least it wasn’t a wall that was so incomprehensible. Rather, it was a wall that was secretly famous in the world I originally lived in.

It’s a little better in that at least I know shame when I think of the little children who cry and complain like babies all day long on the internet.

Whether or not that wall was really an ‘unspeakable wall’ would be something I would ask him later when we were alone, but for now, I quietly whispered to Isabel, who was sitting next to me tonight.

“Hey, Isabel.”

“Huh?”

“Can I let Iris sleep in Isabelle’s room tonight?”

“Tonight? Ah, ahh… .”

Isabel nodded quietly, immediately understanding what I meant.

As expected, it’s good to have a friend who is quick-witted.