Chapter 55: The Third Downfall (5)

[55] 8. The Third Downfall (5)

It was like banging my head against a wall.

I asked why,

but he didn’t answer.

I got angry,

but he didn’t even blink.

In the end, I begged.

I begged him not to leave me.

I told him I’d do anything.

I told him I’d become anyone he wanted me to be.

Then, finally, Rem opened his mouth.

“I don’t want you to acknowledge me anymore.”

Again,

it felt like banging my head against a wall.

My forehead split open, and blood trickled down.

My thoughts, shaken, tangled into a mess.

In the end, cold reality streamed down my cheeks.

I ran away, crying.

…

…

…

A week passed.

A week I spent locked up in my room, not taking a single step outside.

I don’t know how that week even passed. Only tear-soaked memories remained.

Crying while getting angry at him,

Crying while missing him,

Crying while breaking things,

Crying while burying myself under the blankets,

Crying and crying,

and crying again because crying made me sad.

I had thought that getting dehydrated from crying too much was something that only happened in novels.

Every day was a stark reminder that reality was the basis for fiction.

… Sometimes, Marianne would come to see me.

She would stand before my door and speak in a gentle voice. She would beg me to open the door.

But I ignored her.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to show her how pathetic I was. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk about Rem.

I just wanted to be alone.

I wanted to bury myself in the darkness under the blanket and slowly rot away. I wanted to die just like a maggot.

I wanted to get rid of me,

the me who had been abandoned by Rem.

I stayed under the blanket until Marianne left. And it was the same even after she had gone.

I stayed in that room, quietly stagnating.

Then, one day…

I woke up from crying myself to sleep. I saw something by the door. When I approached, I saw it was a small, folded note.

I picked it up and unfolded it. It read:

3 o’clock. Office.

– Sage –

***

This was the first time

Mother had summoned me.

Because I’ve always been the one who went to her.

And she would always send me away, saying she was busy.

So the moment I read the note, I should have been jumping for joy.

It was proof that Mother was finally acknowledging me!

But even then, at that moment when I received the note,

and even now, standing in front of the office door,

I couldn’t feel even a sliver of joy.

Rather, what’s tickling my chest right now is annoyance.

I swallowed down a sigh and knocked on the antique door.

“Come in.”

Mother’s authoritative voice. I roughly opened the door and entered the office.

“…”

Mother was the same as always.

Beautiful, arrogant, dignified, strong.

And she still wasn’t even looking at me.

I suddenly wanted to run away.

“Marianne told me.”

Mother continued speaking, her eyes glued to the documents in front of her.

“That you’ve been cooped up in your room, not only refusing to leave, but even skipping class.”

She scribbled an elaborate signature on the document. Her voice was cold as ice.

“She said it’s because of a boy. Is that true?”

… Marianne, her kindness sometimes irritates me.

I suppressed the irritation that was surging up and answered,

“It’s nothing, Mother. It’s just…”

“I told you to call me ‘Tower Master.’”

My voice trailed off,

but this time it wasn’t painful, just annoying.

“Yes, Tower Master. It’s nothing you should be concerned about.”

Thorns unknowingly crept into my voice.

Mother, sensing that, finally turned to look at me. Her eyebrows furrowed as she examined my appearance.

“You came here dressed like *that*?”

*That.*

At that word, I looked at the mirror next to me.

Disheveled red hair,

dark circles that reached my cheeks,

haggard eyes,

and a severely wrinkled robe.

I looked less like a genius of the century, more like a homeless beggar.

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Was there something amusing about what I just said?”

Her sharp words came right away.

I quickly shook my head.

“No, it’s not that…”

“You’re pathetic, Parsley.”

Her words erased the smile from my face. I looked at her, feeling a surge of emotions.

She spoke in a commanding tone.

“Just how long are you planning to act like a child?”

I’d once seen an experiment,

an experiment to measure the detonation point of an explosive substance.

A mage, wearing a protective shield, raised a hammer with a tense expression. Then he started to gently tap on the explosive.

*Tap*.

“Just how much more are you planning to tarnish my reputation? First, you lost the top spot last time, and now this?”

*Tap*.

“Just what do you think people will think of me after seeing you like this? Are you that stupid?”

*Tap*.

“Why do you think I’m going through all this trouble in the first place? It’s all…!”

There’s no need to describe what happened in the end.

“…Up.”

Mother’s authoritative expression wavered. She asked in a bewildered tone,

“What?”

Looking directly at her, I said,

“I said shut up.”

I could hear the sound of something crumbling from somewhere.

After staring at me blankly, Mother’s face twisted in fury.

“How dare you speak to your mother like…!”

“Just earlier you were calling yourself the Tower Master, and now you’re my mother?”

“Are you trying to play games with me…?”

“Mom, you know something?”

I clenched my fists to suppress the tears welling up in my eyes.

“When I received the note, I had a sliver of hope. I thought, maybe, just maybe… you’re worried about me. I thought, maybe… just maybe… you’re trying to console me.”

A single tear escaped.

“But I was an idiot.”

Mother’s eyes trembled as she saw my tears. Her slender fingers crumpled the document she had been holding.

“You’re not an idiot.”

However, it was only for a fleeting moment.

Then, coldly, she added,

“You’re just pathetic.”

Her words severed the last bit of what remained in my heart. Mother approached me and continued.

“This is what you’re throwing a tantrum over? Just because I didn’t indulge your whining?”

Mother’s voice trembled with anger.

“You’re pulling this kind of childish stunt over something like this?”

Before I knew it, mother was standing in front of me, looking down at me. Trying to crush me.

“Get a grip, Parsley. You’re not a child anymore…”

Those were the words I hated the most.

“I am a child, Mom.”

The words came out in a strangely emotionless tone. Looking straight into her bewildered eyes, I repeated,

“I am *your* child.”

At least in front of her, I was always a child.

A child who wanted to be praised,

who wanted to be consoled,

who wanted to be loved.

“But… I don’t even remember ever being your child.”

I lowered my head.

“Have you… ever… even once… considered me your daughter?”

That was the limit of my courage.

I ran out of the room.

***

When I came to my senses, I was standing alone in the hallway.

Panting heavily, I sank to the ground and stared blankly at the ceiling.

I didn’t cry.

I had known this for a long time.

What mother would meet her daughter once a month? And even then send her away, saying she was busy?

To mother, to Tower Master Sage, there is no daughter.

I was simply a byproduct of her lust, or perhaps baggage she had to take responsibility for.

“Haha…”

Ironically, laughter spilled out. It was from the relief mixed in with that hollowness.

Abandoned by my lover, and abandoned by my parent.

What did I have left?

My goal of becoming the tower master?

No, even that was because of her.

I really had nothing left.

Even though I was lying on the floor, I felt as if my body were floating in the air.

If only I could just drift away and disappear…

“Are you okay?”

An unfamiliar voice.

I sat up, surprised.

And then I was taken aback by the sight of the girl standing before me.

A strange-looking girl.

She was wearing boy’s clothes, despite being a girl, and her arms were covered in strange runes.

And she seemed… blurry.

I know that’s not the right expression to use for a person, but that was the only way I could describe her.

It was as if she were about to vanish into thin air.

“Want me to help you up?”

She said, holding out her hand with a smile. I barely managed to pull myself together and stood up, taking her hand.

“T-Thank you, b-but… who are you…?”

“Oh! I apologize for forgetting to introduce myself.”

The girl bowed deeply.

“My name is Betty Ailleyde.”

Then, with a subservient smile, she looked up at me.

“It’s an honor to meet the daughter of the Tower Master.”

***

It’s human nature to want to talk about yourself.

Everyone has words left unsaid, words that are buried inside their hearts like sediment. And everyone wants to reveal those words to someone.

But even so, those desires are rarely expressed.

This is because, as much as we want to reveal, we also want to hide.

We want to confide in someone, but at the same time, we also hope those words vanish as soon as they’re spoken.

Maybe that’s why…

… we sometimes reveal our deepest secrets to complete strangers.

“Sob, sob… That’s… so sad…”

Betty wiped away tears with her handkerchief as we stood on a balcony, bathed in the light of the setting sun. I felt embarrassed and rubbed the back of my neck.

“It’s not that sad, I think…”

“How is it *not* sad?! I can guarantee this: You’re the person with the saddest story on this entire continent!”

Betty exclaimed in a dramatic tone.

Feeling embarrassed, I lightly slapped her arm.

“I-It’s really not that bad! A-And there are people around…!”

“Oh, I apologize!”

Only then did Betty seem to notice the other people around us. I sighed and looked at the sky.

“Well, this all happened because of me anyway,” I said.

Because I’m a failure.

If I had been a better daughter,

a better lover,

if I weren’t me,

Rem and Mother wouldn’t have abandoned me.

“So, what are you planning to do now?”

I turned to look at Betty. Leaning against the railing, she was looking up at the sky.

“You’ve lost your lifelong dream, your parents, your lover. You should find a new path, you know?”

Her words stung.

Leaning against the railing, I answered weakly.

“I honestly don’t know.”

All my life, I had lived to earn the love of my mother and Rem. But suddenly, they were both gone.

I had lost my purpose.

No, the goal was still there.

“I just… want them to come back.”

… It was simply impossible.

Once again, a gloomy feeling soaks my heart.

“Hmm… I see.”

Betty suddenly placed her hand on her chin with a thoughtful expression. Then she looked down at me and said,

“Ms. Parsley, what if, and I mean if…”

A smile appeared on her lips.

“What if I told you that I have a way to grant you that wish?”

*****

Author’s note:

Woof!!

(Thank you for reading!)

Bark!

(Chronitz!! Thank you for the five coins!! I will work my fingers to the bone!!)