Chapter 30: I Became the Academy’s Problem Child [R-18]
by MeherBlack with polka dots, plain white, one with a ribbon.
It was like a magic spell that gave me the strength to live as the protagonist of My Onahole Academy.
Outfit, check.
Today, I left the house wearing the uniform Serena had tailored for me.
“Ah, there’s Seonbaenim!”
“Is it true you collect onaholes?”
“Please hug me!”
The crowd of female students gathered in front of the academy just to see me seemed even larger than yesterday.
A talent like “Onahole Collector” would normally make you an instant outcast.
But for the face-genius Kim Sang-hyeok, it was framed as something like “That Handsome Oppa’s Charming Little Flaw♡”… which just goes to show, it pays to be handsome.
“Alright, alright, form a line. A line.”
“Eek! I’m first! Please hug me!”
Squeeze.
A situation where random female students were clinging to me, asking for hugs. They weren’t quite on the level of the main heroines, but they were still pretty, and having them hang on me didn’t feel bad at all, but…
This level of excitement might not be normal.
“Kim Sang-hyeok.”
Just as I was wondering how I was going to entertain all these girls and take pictures with them, a single heroine appeared, parting them like the waves of the sea.
It was Essol Academy’s student council president, Isabella.
This was the first time we’d met with so many onlookers around.
Everyone was watching us with happy screams, as if they were witnessing a scene from a romance manga.
But I knew she was here for something unpleasant.
Still, though.
She had never once approached me for anything good.
Even so, Isabella was beautiful enough to make me think it was all worth it.
Her riding attire, with form-fitting white pants that highlighted her shapely legs and a black jacket, suited her as if she were a queen. Her long, shimmering silver hair seemed to glow with life under the sunlight.
The girl whose blue eyes stared at me with displeasure, whose lips were pressed into a firm line, and whose round forehead was somehow still adorable, pointed right at me.
“No unnecessary physical contact between the sexes. To violate the rules right in front of the academy… you have some nerve.”
She was looking at me like I was a piece of trash, a future criminal.
Still, she was sexy and beautiful. A heroine impossible to hate.
I see.
The ordinary female students must have felt this way just a moment ago.
“I’m sorry, President.”
“What are you all staring at? Disperse! If you gather for this purpose again, you’ll all receive demerits!”
“Eek, yes!”
With a single stern warning, the student council president scattered that massive crowd of girls.
Amazing. A true student-council-president heroine.
With her arms crossed, the president continued to stare at me disapprovingly.
With the overbearing attitude unique to domineering women, she scanned me from head to toe.
“Your uniform. You’re wearing it properly today.”
…I wonder what kind of insults I would have heard if I were the ugly original protagonist instead of the charm-level-999 Kim Sang-hyeok.
The amusing part was that, even to the hawk-eyed student council president, I looked presentable.
“It’s thanks to my sister.”
“You didn’t do anything to those girls, did you?”
The level of suspicion was so high it startled me.
“I thought we cleared up all the misunderstandings.”
“I’m grateful you saved the teacher. But I am the one who must prevent such incidents from happening again at this academy.”
“What if I told you I wouldn’t do something like that?”
“Your words carry no weight, Kim Sang-hyeok. The guarantee of a D-rank student changes nothing.”
That… was true.
Right now, I had nothing that could be called credibility.
“In academy society, simply possessing a dangerous ability is grounds for quarantine, or even execution. The only reason you’re able to stand here talking to me is because the teacher wished for your protection.”
They’d go that far?
It wasn’t entirely unexpected. Even when I told my friends about my ability, the reason I asked them to “keep it a secret” from the demon merchant was because I had a feeling it should only be shared with people I could trust.
“So what happens to me now?”
“Follow me.”
Where were we going?
At first, I thought I was being hauled off to the student council room again.
But we were getting farther and farther away from the classroom buildings. That meant she had no intention of letting me attend my morning classes.
Am I really getting arrested?
After climbing a few hills on campus, we entered a building I’d never seen before.
There wasn’t a single person in the hallway.
Just me and the student council president…
“This is the Chairman’s office. He will inform you of your disposition.”
“Disposition…”
Just because I possessed the power of Personality Excretion…
This is pretty harsh…
“Should I go in?”
“Wait. Looking again, you’re a little disheveled.”
“Huh…?”
Swoosh.
Isabella approached me and reached for my tie.
“Stay still.”
A floral scent washed over me.
The perfect height difference, the perfect angle to look down at the beautiful student council president’s face… It was the best.
I couldn’t think straight.
She’s like a new bride, the student council president…
She’d kill me if I said that out loud, right?
“There. That’s better. Never forget that you are an academy student, and maintain your dignity wherever you are.”
“Weren’t you taking me into custody?”
“I wish I were.”
Gulp.
“But not yet.”
Knock, knock.
The student council president turned and knocked politely on the door twice.
“It’s Isabella. I’ve brought the student.”
“Come in.”
This was my first time seeing the academy’s Chairman.
In a spacious room with a floor-to-ceiling glass wall overlooking the entire academy, a man with his hair slicked back with pomade turned to face us.
He had a large build and the presence of a tiger. A scar over his eye made him look like a retired soldier.
“Are you Kim Sang-hyeok?”
“Yessir.”
“Have a seat anywhere.”
I sank into a plush guest sofa.
“Don’t be nervous. I didn’t call you here to scold you.”
There was no way I couldn’t be nervous, despite what he said.
“I’ve received a report about your ability. Every year at the academy, we find at least ten students who awaken such dangerous talents.”
“As many as ten?”
“Of course. You see a lot in my position. Of those ten, half are quarantined, three are executed, and one is reborn as a hunter or hero who contributes to society.”
“…Then what about the last one?”
“They run. To a place society can’t reach.”
I think I knew why he had called me here.
“I want to be a hunter.”
“Haha. Is that so? But if you were in my shoes, would you allow the academy to continue nurturing someone with an ability as dangerous as yours?”
“I guess not…”
“The most important thing we consider when making that judgment is character. Are they just a person who happens to have a dangerous ability, or was that ability given to an already dangerous person…”
“…”
Character…
Considering the original Sang-hyeok’s usual behavior, getting a good evaluation was out of the question.
Is this the end of the line?
“Seridwen has been defending you quite fiercely.”
“Haha…”
Phew.
Right, I had connections, too.
Without the cover of an SS-rank hunter, I wouldn’t have even gotten this meeting.
Thank you, my beautiful teacher.
“Do you want to remain at the academy?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I want to become a brother my younger sisters can be proud of.”
It was the first goal I had when I started My Onahole Academy.
“But looking at your demerit record, it would be hard to say you’ve been a proud brother until now.”
“…”
I had nothing to say…
I was just hearing the same things I’d already heard in the student council room.
“How about we wipe that slate clean and you do something good for the academy for a change?”
“I’ll do it.”
I wasn’t in a position to be picky, whatever it was.
“You’ll be working as a Hero for the time being.”
“Excuse me?”
The conclusion was so absurd that I couldn’t help but ask again.
“Isabella.”
“Yes.”
“As of today, Kim Sang-hyeok will be your assistant.”
“…Understood.”
…Gasp!!
Becoming a Hero wasn’t in my plans at all…
And my supervisor is the student council president!?!
Isn’t this the hero route?
“Um, I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think my aptitude is a good fit for being a Hero…”
“Heroes save people. The pay is poor, and at the lower ranks, it’s no different from being a volunteer.”
“…”
In other words, it’s a position where you sign up for a world of pain.
“That’s why there are few applicants… We’re always short-staffed.”
No, but…
My ability is dangerous, so I guess there’s no better way to clean up my image than by working as a Hero, but…
“I-If a Hero were to commit a crime, wouldn’t that be an even bigger problem?”
“Haha. The person by your side is one of Seoul’s finest heroes.”
Gulp.
Isabella came around behind the sofa and placed a hand gently on my shoulder.
Squeeze.
Gah!! The pressure was slowly increasing!
“Don’t worry. If you get any bad ideas, I’ll make sure to send you on your way as painlessly as possible.”
Where are you planning on sending me…!?
“Isabella said she’s seen your ability firsthand, so there’s no one more suitable. So, what do you say? Will you accept?”
So this was why the student council president came to pick me up so early in the morning?
A Hero’s life I never asked for.
I had no desire to sign up for this kind of hardship, but…
“Choose wisely, Kim Sang-hyeok.”
Isabella whispered in my ear.
“…I believe you can change.”
…
I used Personality Excretion on an SS-rank hunter and got caught. I couldn’t expect to get away with it without giving up something.
I can protect my academy life.
Seridwen said she would try.
She must have spoken to the Chairman herself. To protect me…
“I’ll do it…”
“In that case, I’ll entrust most matters concerning you to Isabella from now on. Is that all right, Isabella?”
“Yes.”
Isabella said with a faint smile.
“This is the first time I’ve had a ‘problem student’ who seems like such a handful, but I will do my best to teach him.”
…I thought I’d gotten on her bad side from day one.
And now I’d officially evolved into her academy-certified problem student…
“Do you agree to our academy’s management process, Student Sang-hyeok?”
“I agree.”
Agreeing meant…
Isabella now had justification to meddle in every aspect of my life, and that I was now a person to be managed.
[You have received the Problem Student Project from Chairman Wilhelm.]
[♡Our student needs attention and love♡]
[Lots and lots of praise~! Criticism is a NO NO!]
What is this…
“That’s the core of our process. Go on, open it.”
When I opened the panel, a calendar that looked like a mobile game’s daily login reward screen appeared.
“What is this?”
“It’s a ‘Good Job’ chart… I guess kids these days wouldn’t know about it?”
Flinch.
I think I get the gist…
Isabella came up behind me, reached out, and pressed a stamp onto the screen with a pop.
And on today’s date, the words…
「Problem Student Kim Sang-hyeok, you did a good job♡」
…appeared.
“…Pfft.”
Isabella laughed.
…Is it really that fun to mess with me? Huh?
“For the record, that stamp cannot be duplicated. Ah, and don’t even think about stealing it from her.”
“I wasn’t thinking of anything like that…”
This is humiliating…
Give me back the serious atmosphere from when you were saying, ‘Your ability is dangerous, we might have to restrain you’!!
I’d have more dignity if I were covered in restraints and growling! A man lives and dies for that kind of romanticism!
A “Good Job” stamp is just wrong!!
“That was just a demonstration, so I’ll erase the first stamp, Kim Sang-hyeok.”
“…”
It was just a “Good Job” mark with an SD character of Isabella on it, but for some reason, I felt a little disappointed when it disappeared.
“You are to receive a stamp every day for three weeks without fail. It doesn’t matter if you get them all at once. It’s up to Isabella when she stamps it, anyway.”
“That sounds like my entire academy life depends on the student council president’s mood.”
“If she gets on your nerves, you can just become an S-class hero yourself.”
…Was running away from the academy the right answer after all?
Translated By: Meher (RaidenTL)
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