Chapter 150 – Trial (8)

“Wow… It’s even bigger up close.”

“It feels incredibly high when you reach the top!”

We stood before the slowly rotating Ferris wheel, waiting for a car in our preferred color.

As the red car Rubia had chosen descended,

“Hurry, let’s go!”

She grabbed my hand, pulling me along excitedly.

“Wah! Rubia, slow down!”

I scrambled to keep up with her.

“Oh… It’s cozy. And it sways more than I expected! It’s like riding a horse on a mountain trail!”

“Well, it’s swaying because you’re bouncing around!”

Rubia, brimming with excitement, kept shifting in her seat, making the car creak and rock.

Creak, creak.

“—Ugh… I feel sick… Stop…!”

“Oh my… Ahaha… Sorry.”

Rubia giggled sheepishly, smoothing her hair before taking my hand again.

“Is it okay to hold hands now?”

“Um… Yeah. For a little while… I, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

I really didn’t know. A moment ago, seeing Rubia against the night sky, it felt like if I didn’t hold her hand, she’d float away. So I did.

But now… it’s different? Should I let go?

But letting go now would be weird, too…

As I hesitated, Rubia looked up with a mysterious smile and pulled me closer.

“—Eh?”

“Let’s just hold hands. No one can see us.”

“B-But…”

“It’s okay.”

Her sweet whisper eased my tension.

“If it bothers you that much, confess to ‘her’ later. She’ll understand. Besides, I grabbed your hand.”

“I… guess…?”

As I pondered this, Rubia chuckled and lowered her head.

“Fix my hair, too.”

“R-Rubia’s hair…?”

“Yes. I might have missed some spots.”

Her hair looked so soft… and pokeable. I’d never seen the top of her head before.

“It… looks fine already…”

“Not good enough. I want to look my best for you. Hurry up.”

“O-Oh… Um… Okay.”

A strange sweetness filled my mouth as I reached out—

Poke.

“—Hmm? Noah?”

“—Ah! S-Sorry…”

I’d instinctively poked her head. It was just too cute…

Savoring the sensation, I gently stroked her hair.

“—Wow…”

Her hair shimmered like stardust, each strand catching the light differently.

Then—

Tug.

“—Ow!”

“—Oh! I-I’m sorry!”

My fingers had snagged a knot. A tight one.

I quickly tried to untangle it.

“Even someone with hair as nice as yours gets knots…”

“Yes. It happens when it’s this long… Ow! Be gentle…”

“Ah, sorry…”

I carefully worked through the knot, finally freeing it.

“There… all smooth now…”

Her hair flowed through my fingers, silky and mesmerizing. It was fun to play with.

My hair isn’t like this. It’s more… fluffy.

“Heehee… Having fun?”

“—Ah!”

Rubia, who’d been leaning forward, straightened up, supporting herself with one arm.

“S-Sorry. Was that uncomfortable?”

“You can keep going if you’re enjoying it.”

“No, it’s okay.”

I shook my head and withdrew my hand. Rubia sat back properly.

“Wow… we’re already so high up.”

We were nearing the top.

My second time seeing this view in the trial.

“It’s… beautiful.”

Rubia murmured, gazing at the nightscape spread below.

The whirring of the Ferris wheel.

Our breathing.

The faint thump of my heart.

I closed my eyes, absorbing the atmosphere.

Then, Rubia’s soft voice.

“Noah.”

“Yes?”

“Did you have fun today?”

I had. Immensely. Almost abnormally so.

“Yes… Thanks to you.”

“Oh… Heehee…”

Her laugh caught in her throat.

“Noah… Noah without the penalty is quite perceptive.”

A deep sigh.

Then, a quieter voice.

“When did you realize?”

“When you asked… about your face.”

That was when my emotions clarified. The tangled mess of feelings and memories settled. As if someone had untangled them for me.

“…Did that bother you?”

“No… Not at all.”

I was grateful, not bothered. I only regretted not being able to face her with genuine emotions.

“Thank you… for saying that.”

“I had fun. I was incredibly happy… so, it’s okay.”

Rubia’s hand gently covered mine.

“You can let go now.”

“Your soul is deeply wounded.”

“I know.”

“And… it will be hard. You could just… end the trial now…”

I turned my hand over, holding hers tightly.

“I’m okay.”

I wanted to stop running. I wanted to face this.

It felt strange to say this after relying on her help, but I wanted to take the final step myself.

I wanted to overcome this.

“…The way to end the trial—”

“Is to overcome the past. To carry it forward. And…”

Her hand trembled slightly.

“…To leave no regrets. Right?”

“Exactly…”

Clatter. The Ferris wheel reached the top.

Time stopped.

“This isn’t the end of the trial.”

The loneliness after my parents died. The suicidal thoughts. The pain of repeated attempts. The feeling of the noose.

And then.

Inside [Black Sun].

Everything ‘I’ had experienced.

“You can leave now. You’ve done enough. I’m… okay. You’ve given me so much… I’m truly okay.”

“Rubia.”

“…Yes.”

“Were you happy?”

A strained breath brushed against my neck.

I didn’t know the specifics of what ‘I’ and ‘Rubia’ had endured.

But I knew it must have been far worse than anything I’d faced.

And after all that, they’d given us happiness, a better future, sacrificing themselves. Yet, even at the end, they hadn’t found their own happiness.

And ‘we’ had been saved by ‘them’.

So, they deserved—

—a peaceful tomorrow. Days filled with laughter. A lifetime of happiness.

“You have to be happy.”

I opened my eyes, pushing away the comforting warmth.

Time resumed in this world of my nightmares.

The Ferris wheel began its descent.

Then, back up again.

A spark of fire arced through the sky.

“I’ll make sure of it.”

Boom!

Brilliant fireworks masked her tears. The explosions swallowed her sobs.

What remained was a bittersweet smile, a trembling laugh.

“…Noah.”

“Rubia.”

The words my father told me. The words I told Rubia. The words ‘I’ told ‘Rubia’.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of everything.”

Words I’d always carried. A promise unfulfilled. Words I’d never forgotten.

But this time,

This time, the promise would be kept.

“You… trust me, right?”

“But, I…”

I shook my head.

“Rubia is Rubia.”

No matter what she’d been through. Even if she was no longer that Rubia.

Even if she became Lilith.

“You’re the Rubia I love.”

So.

“Don’t worry.”

I would create a new tomorrow. A happy tomorrow. A tomorrow for all of us.

“You can smile now.”

“Ahaha… Heehee…”

A familiar, yet different smile. The smile of a Rubia who’d lived a different lifetime.

But still, a beautiful smile.

Smiling, she lifted my hand.

“I was going to wear one… but I’ll give it to you.”

She slid a ring, the color of her eyes, onto my finger.

“Give the other one… to the ‘me’ outside. No, put it on her finger.”

“Okay.”

Another firework exploded, painting the night sky.

A plea to remember. A desperate wish.

A cry to be found again.

“I… really will trust you.”

“I know.”

“And… I’ll expect great things. I’ll be waiting… I’ll be waiting for you.”

Rubia embraced me.

Her soft lips. Hopeful emotions. A sorrowful past. Pressed against mine.

“I’ll wait. Always… I’ll be waiting for you, Noah.”

The final firework ignited.

Brighter and more beautiful than the others.

Burning with a final, brilliant light.

Warm, comforting, a searing heat.

“And when you find me… at the end of the world…”

Illuminating the darkness. Embracing everything.

“…tell me… you still love me.”