Chapter 110:  How a Sinner Asks for Forgiveness

Rumors about Viviana had already spread far and wide.

An unyielding, resilient flower.

Some criticized her as arrogant, but within her existed the strength and dignity to support such arrogance.

She was a woman who never bowed her head.

Not even to the Emperor himself.

“I apologize.”

Yet, without hesitation, Viviana bowed her head.

To a woman of lesser power and status than herself.

“I never thought you would use me in this way.”

A soft, delicate voice.

Viviana raised her head to meet her gaze.

The hair color identical to that of the woman she loved.

Two blue gems, mirroring her own eyes.

To Viviana, she was the one she most wished to appear flawless before.

“I had no ill intentions, Baroness.”

“I know that much.”

Artasha let out a deep sigh.

Viviana anxiously watched her, gauging her reaction.

“Well, thanks to you, Lady Viviana, I’ve made up my mind.”

It was true that Artasha had been played by the Lady. Yet, deep within her, what remained was gratitude.

Wasn’t it truly remarkable?

Until just yesterday, Artasha had been dying.

An incurable affliction of the heart had been slowly eating away at her.

But the sickness that had driven her toward death was miraculously cured after a single encounter with that child.

Indeed, a daughter is a sweet miracle beyond comparison to anything else in the world.

“So, thank you, Lady Viviana.”

“N-No, my lady. Please, feel free to—”

“And who is your ‘lady’?”

Artasha’s gaze turned icy.

Viviana shrank under the sharpness of her stare.

‘…I made a mistake.’

Overcome by a fleeting moment of joy, she had acted rashly, as if she had been acknowledged by a mother.

“…I misspoke.”

“Misspoke? Rather, it is Lady Viviana who should be more at ease in her speech.”

“It’s fine. I find this way more comfortable.”

Artasha shook her head inwardly.

To her, this was far from comfortable.

The position of a noble lady was by no means a light one.

It was obvious why a lady of such stature would go to such lengths to treat her with excessive respect.

“…Sigh, do as you please.”

But Artasha couldn’t entirely fault the lady.

The subtle, intoxicating fragrance that lingered around her occasionally left even Artasha herself dazed.

“May I ask what decision you have reached?”

Viviana cautiously inquired.

Artasha fell into deep thought.

But only for a brief moment.

Her gaze soon regained its resolute brilliance.

“As I’ve already said, that child is not my daughter.”

Viviana’s eyes darkened.

Having already failed once, Viviana knew better than anyone.

Neither Lilian nor she herself could correct Tina’s distorted path.

Only Artasha could do that.

Only her unwavering affection, which no one could challenge, could break down Tina’s rough walls.

Conversely, they believed that only Tina could heal the wounds in Artasha’s heart.

That’s why Viviana devised this plan.

However, deep down, she wasn’t entirely unprepared for this outcome. There was concern that even if the two met, Artasha’s feelings might not easily change.

After all, no matter the situation, the fact that Tina was not her biological daughter remained unchangeable.

“…Is that so? But, Baroness, Tina—”

“Until yesterday.”

Viviana blinked blankly.

Artasha’s voice was too serious to brush off as a mere joke.

In her smile lay an affection too deep to be expressed in words.

“Yesterday, I adopted her in my heart. I even decided to give her a name, hehe.”

“What?”

“She’s in the saintess’s residence now, right?”

With a determined expression, Artasha stood up.

Surprised, Viviana quickly followed suit.

“Yes, but why…”

“I need to see how my daughter is doing.”

“….Ah.”

Unwanted memories surfaced in Viviana’s mind—moments of ecstasy that also carried a deep sense of guilt.

Tina’s situation was far from good.

A prison devoid of sunlight.

Her hands and feet bound by heavy iron shackles.

Meals were delivered mouth to mouth.

Even water was no exception.

But worse than all of that was something else.

The mandatory time each hour to tend to Tina.

The time to release the pent-up emotions suffocating her.

If Artasha were to witness that scene…

She would never speak kindly about it.

‘…This might be a huge problem.’

***

A cold sweat trickled down Viviana’s neck.

Once again, no light penetrated this place today.

The surroundings were perfectly sealed, not even a mouse hole was allowed.

But it didn’t matter anymore.

No, rather, this place felt more comfortable.

This place suited someone like me.

For a sinner like me, this was just right.

If I had been trapped in a luxurious room instead, that would have been even more painful.

The countless emotions that had weighed me down.

Last night, I poured them all out with my tears.

How much did I cry?

Now, even if I wanted to, no more tears would come.

Only the hot, dull pain around my eyes testified to the outpouring.

But because of that, perhaps, my heart felt a little lighter.

Have I ever felt such relief before?

The screams that always gnawed at my mind were now silent.

Through both my past and present lives, this might be the most peaceful moment I’ve ever experienced.

“Tina, I’m here.”

The tightly closed iron door of the prison slowly opened.

And, as always, she appeared.

Her radiant pink hair fluttered lightly, and her eyes were brimming with vibrant energy.

Lillian.

As always, she greeted me with a bright smile.

That smile was indescribably beautiful.

Why did I once find that smile so hateful?

It’s so radiant and lovely.

“Welcome, Lady Lillian.”

“…Pardon?”

I met her gaze with a shy smile.

Lillian’s eyes reflected a hint of confusion.

Was it because my words were different from usual?

In the past, I would have resented her.

But now, I finally understood my true feelings.

I had admired Lillian all along.

Even in a dark past, she had always shone so brightly.

The only emotion I should feel toward her is one: guilt.

Nothing but guilt.

“I… I’ve done nothing but wait for you, Lady Lillian.”

Lillian’s eyes trembled slightly.

With a worried expression, she approached me.

“Tina? Are you alright?”

Did she think I had hit my head?

She lifted her hand and placed it on my head, quietly channeling her holy energy.

Gently, I removed her hand.

Perhaps holy power was intrinsic to Lillian’s very being, yet for someone like me to receive such a precious gift—it was nothing short of indulgence.

“This… I won’t harm myself anymore.”

I am a sinner.

I do not even have the right to choose death.

At least, not until my sins have been forgiven.

“What?”

“So, you don’t need to waste your precious holy power on someone like me.”

“What? Huh? What are you saying, Tina?”

Lillian’s eyes wavered.

Her trembling gaze was painfully clear.

I looked at her quietly.

The reason she spent so much time on me.

In the end, wasn’t it out of vengeance?

“Tina, oh, you’re so… calm today?”

She must want to see me broken too.

Just as I had done to her.

Just as I had humiliated her.

Slowly gnawing away at everything around her, breaking her down.

Lillian must want to destroy me as well.

Making me urinate in front of her.

Rendering me unable even to lift a spoon to eat.

All of it must have been steps toward breaking me.

“Do… do you want a stamp? Don’t you want a stamp?”

Lillian took a stamp sheet out of her pouch.

As if waving cotton candy before a child.

She lightly shook the stamp sheet in front of me.

“I don’t need stamps anymore.”

I gently placed her stamp sheet down.

No matter how many stamps I collected, nothing would change.

A pitch-dark space devoid of light.

This place was the only home suited for someone like me.

“…What happened yesterday with the young lady, Tina?”

Lillian grabs my hand.

Her eyes demand an explanation.

She doesn’t need to do this.

She could treat me worse.

Yet Lillian watches my reaction carefully.

Such a kind person.

She doesn’t need to do this.

Someone like you doesn’t need to care about garbage like me.

But I guess it can’t be helped.

Just this once, I’ll take a step forward myself.

I gently take her hand.

With a delicate touch, I curl Lillian’s fingers inward, one by one.

At last, I form her hand into a fist.

“Please hit me.”

I bring Lillian’s fist to my cheek.

The cold touch of her hand brushes against my skin.

“…What?”

“Because it’ll make you happy…”

Lillian’s eyes no longer waver.

They are wide open, staring blankly at me.

“Treat me with violence.”

I’m so sorry, Lillian.

It might not be much of a repayment…

But I hope you find happiness using me.

“Hurt me enough to feel like dying.”

I’ll be fine.