Chapter 71: To my beloved

In the cold silence,

Lillian said nothing to my accusation, laced with malice.

Her lips remained tightly shut, as if she’d suddenly become mute, without even the slightest movement.

Watching her like that, I couldn’t help but smile with satisfaction.

I’d whispered softly, so no one would’ve overheard our conversation.

From afar, we must’ve simply looked like two people having an intimate chat.

“Have a lovely day, Miss Lillian.”

With a moderate smile on my face, I turned my back to her.

It was the kind of smile used in social circles—not too bright, not too dark.

And without any regret, I took steps away from her, distancing myself slowly.

However…

“Lady Blanc.”

Lillian’s low, sunken voice called from behind.

At the same time, her hand gripped my wrist firmly, holding me in place.

“Hah…”

A surge of irritation flared up.

Despite her noble etiquette training, she still had this habit of grabbing people without permission.

I slowly turned around, prepared to chastise her for her rude behavior.

But before I could utter a mocking remark, I paused, startled by the heat emanating from her hand.

That warmth crawled up my wrist.

It felt as if flames were consuming everything in their path.

It swiftly wrapped around me, starting to burn me alive.

“Hah…!”

With a yelp, I twisted instinctively and flung her hand off, as if I’d been scorched.

I’d pushed her away so forcefully that Lillian stumbled back a few steps.

‘What… What was that just now…?’

It only lasted a moment, but I felt an intense heat engulf my entire body, as though I were on fire.

The searing pain was so vivid that it left me with the illusion my body was screaming.

With trembling fingers, I touched my wrist.

The heat was still there, lingering for some inexplicable reason.

Yet, no matter how closely I examined it, my wrist remained pale and unscathed, without a single burn mark.

As I stared at my wrist, overwhelmed with confusion, Lillian was also gazing at her own palm.

After examining her hand with an unusual expression for a long while, she slowly clenched her fist.

In that instant, her eyes shifted, now serious and locked onto me.

“Did I perhaps offend you, Lady Blanc?”

The sudden change in the atmosphere made my body tremble.

“What…?”

“I get the feeling you dislike me.”

Those eyes were no longer the innocent ones I was used to seeing.

Calmly sunken yet relentlessly sharp, they were eyes of unfathomable depth.

Under that gaze, I instinctively swallowed dryly.

‘Focus. This is the social scene.’

Clumsy appearances could be taken as harmless charm, but losing composure was unacceptable.

Quickly, I adjusted my expression, forcing a faint smile in Lillian’s direction.

“Y-You just made a mistake. That uncouth habit of grabbing people without permission still persists, doesn’t it?”

“Apologies, I’ll accept that criticism. But is there anything else?”

“…That’s…”

“Tell me. If it’s something I can change, I will.”

My reasons for disliking Lillian? Ridiculously enough, nothing came to mind.

Other than her completely opposing views, there was no real reason for any hostility.

Lillian waited silently for my answer.

However, I couldn’t say anything.

“…I’m not feeling well, so I’ll head out first.”

In the end, I could only leave the place, pretending to smile as if everything was fine.

As if I were running away.

***

“Haa… seriously…”

I buried my face in the pillow and let out a deep sigh. I couldn’t even remember the expression I wore when I returned to the mansion after leaving the banquet.

Perhaps my face looked bad because my mother kept asking if I was alright. It was only after repeatedly reassuring her that I was okay that I could finally retreat to my room like this.

“Why am I acting like this…?”

Even I couldn’t understand it. Up until the moment I entered the banquet hall, I felt nothing, but the instant I saw Lillian’s face, my mood plummeted.

It was like sinking into a deep swamp, as though I could feel my mood rotting from within.

It’s not like I have bipolar disorder—can a person’s mood shift so drastically in an instant?

At first, I thought it was just a random bout of bad mood, but this is already the second time.

This is certainly not normal.

If this continues, it will undoubtedly impact my smooth social life.

“Do I have an allergy to saints or something?”

Maybe it’s a physical incompatibility with divine powers, or perhaps… a phobia related to the color pink?

No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out the reason.

In the end, unable to find a proper cause, I rolled around on the bed, wrapped in a mixture of guilt that pricked my chest and confusion, as I wrestled with my thoughts.

And the conclusion I arrived at was that I disliked her for no reason at all.

They say love has no reason—could it not be strange for there to be no reason for dislike as well?

My mother in my previous life was like that too. She would beat me, starve me, and lock me up without any reason, saying I was like a repulsive insect that inflamed her just by looking at me.

And yet, I remember clinging to her every night, longing for her affection.

Perhaps this discomfort and aversion I feel now are similar to what my mother felt when she looked at me in my previous life.

Now, I think I can understand her, if only a little.

That thought brought me a mix of joy and sorrow at the same time.

I kicked off the heavy blanket that was weighing me down, got up from the bed, and approached the mirror.

When I placed my hand gently on the mirror, the cold sensation of the glass traveled through my fingertips. Somehow, that feeling seemed to calm me.

“Are you… there?”

[Always.]

When the familiar voice returned, the loneliness that had wrapped around me moments ago vanished in an instant.

The woman who smiled at me from the mirror bore a face that looked just like my mother from my previous life.

I confided in her about what happened today. As always, time to converse with her was limited, so I spoke a bit hurriedly.

After listening to my story, my childhood friend rested her chin on her hand, wearing a thoughtful expression.

[You said she’s a saint? I don’t get a good feeling about her.]

“Really? Do you think so too?”

[Of course. No one is truly good, Tina. Everyone lives wearing a mask. Haven’t I told you this many times?]

“Yes, you have.”

[The kinder the mask appears, the uglier the true face hidden underneath.]

“You’re right.”

[So, it’s only natural for you to dislike her. There’s nothing strange about it.]

Her words settled gently into my heart, like a soft breeze, spreading a sense of calm within me.

As always, she pinpointed exactly what I needed to hear the most.

“…But I’ll probably have to see her often from now on. I don’t know what to do about that.”

[If you don’t want to see her, then you don’t have to, right?]

“It’s not that easy… If I go out into society, I’ll inevitably meet her.”

Lillian will continue attending countless banquets, expanding her influence.

Avoiding her would mean abandoning the social circles, which would ultimately put me at a disadvantage.

As the daughter of a powerless, skill-less baron, the only way I can survive as a noble is by thriving off the attention given to me by other ladies.

The social circle was my only means of survival.

How unfair.

With just the title of ‘Saint,’ Lillian will soon have the support of countless citizens of the empire and the temple at her back, and now she even wants to take over the social circle.

Looking back now, there’s no one greedier than her.

How great would it be if Lillian didn’t set foot in society?

After all, she’ll live well enough with the title of Saint, even without being in the social circle.

“Ah.”

For a moment, I stared blankly at the mirror, eyes wide open.

My childhood friend gave me a final, faint smile and then quietly vanished.

How foolish.

The simplest, most obvious answer was right in front of me, and yet I hadn’t realized it until now.

I no longer wanted to encounter Lillian in society.

But to me, the social circle isn’t just a luxury—it’s practically my livelihood.

Leaving isn’t an option, so there’s only one solution, isn’t there?

“Just kick Lillian out of the social circle, right?”

The clarity of that answer brought a smile to my lips.

It’s only been a few years since Lillian rose from a commoner to the position of Saint.

There are still many nobles who find her distasteful.

Driving out a Saint who hasn’t fully awakened shouldn’t be too difficult.

And I had no need to worry about her seeking revenge on me someday.

“If I don’t bother her directly, there’s no issue, right?”

Mardian relentlessly tormented Lillian. As fierce as her personality was, she left no loose ends.

But I don’t have that kind of grit, so that would be difficult for me.

Instead.

There’s no shortage of masters who would be willing to drive her out.

“I should host a tea party.”

A light smile spread across my lips.

I sat calmly at the desk and pulled out some stationery.

“To my beloved and respected Lady Versha…”

On the pristine white stationery,

Dark ink filled with malice began to spread.

***

It looked at its hand.

At the end of its pale forearm was a deep, dark burn mark, as if scorched by an eternal flame.

[There’s something bothersome in this world.]

It spread its palm in front of its lips and blew gently.

The dense darkness gathered in its palm began to scatter like dust.

Hatred, jealousy, resentment, murderous intent.

Every negative emotion in the world filled and took over that space.

Even the faint remaining light lost its strength in that darkness, as everything was gradually yet surely consumed.

[Sorry for lying, Tina.]

A saint hiding ugliness within her?

How absurd.

She is the pure essence of ‘goodness.’

A savior who never succumbs to corruption, guiding humanity toward the light.

If left alone, she would eventually pull even my Tina into that light.

How dare she.

A lowly servant angel groveling beneath a foolish god, daring to covet what’s mine.

[Tina must always be unhappy by my side.]

The owner of that beloved, fragile soul is only one.

Only I hold that right.