Chapter 28: It’s Okay, That’s Love (7)

I’m sorry for being late these days.

As I mentioned in the afterword of my previous work…

I’ve been having a hard time lately.

I was bullied at work… and resigned because of it… and I even got stress-induced alopecia areata on my head…

But when I sit in front of the computer to at least write a lot since I’m resting at home,

anxiety slowly creeps up. I can’t keep playing like this. How many more holes are there for money to go out, and I’m just playing like this?

Then, while writing, my eyes wander to my resume and I end up on Job Korea… Anyway, I’m ashamed to say, I’m a mentally unstable writer.

Thank you for reading today as well. I can’t promise, but I will try to upload as many chapters as possible. Thank you.

In the midst of the maddening kiss, Yudith’s snake-like hand began to crawl up Chloe’s thigh. Startled by the sensation, Chloe grabbed her hand and resisted, saying she couldn’t go any further.

Chloe quickly pulled her lips away from Yudith and looked at her, fearing that she would cross the line right here if she stayed still.

“Ugh…! M-Milady, wait a moment…!”

“Why?”

“Haa… haa…”

Chloe covered her mouth with her hand, avoiding the gaze that seemed to burn just by looking at her, as Yudith looked at her with eyes that didn’t smile but only craved her.

“N-No, I really can’t…”

Chloe shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She pleaded with Yudith, crying that she couldn’t go any further. Chloe’s shoulders began to tremble at Yudith’s unusually forceful demeanor.

“Chloe… let go of my hand.”

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry… I’ll do whatever Milady wants… just not here…”

Yudith smiled and wrapped her arms around Chloe’s neck, whispering in a voice that seemed to crawl into her.

“You can really do whatever I want?”

“M-Milady…”

“Answer.”

“I… I can…”

Yudith’s hand, like a snake, slowly crawled over Chloe’s stomach, up to her chest, and then slowly towards her neck, embracing her face.

Chloe could only apologize.

She didn’t expect Yudith to be so forceful, and she wasn’t given the authority to refuse in her current state.

Yudith buried her face in Chloe’s neck and whispered softly.

“Chloe, why do you keep pretending you don’t like me when you do?”

Her heart sank.

She was unbearably ashamed to have her embarrassing feelings exposed, so much so that she couldn’t even lift her head.

After confirming Yudith’s feelings that day, her attraction to her had grown uncontrollably.

So she tried to distance herself from her feelings. She wore her maid uniform to make it clear that it wasn’t a date.

She had been caught trying to deceive herself and rejecting her in any way she could.

She could easily guess how pathetic she looked now.

She wanted to somehow sort out these ugly feelings that she was already drawn to, because her involvement with Yudith would be too much of a nuisance to her. She had made a promise to herself, but it was useless.

She didn’t want to become more of a burden to her, especially since she hadn’t been helpful for the past eight years.

Yet, her desire to be by her side kept growing.

The way her heart was helplessly tilting was terrifying.

“I… I can’t be by Milady’s side…”

Chloe trembled slightly.

Her legs gave way, and she slid down the wall, unable to support herself any longer.

She should have run away before coming to the Grand Ducal Family.

She should have run away with Yudith.

She wouldn’t have had these ugly feelings.

“If I accept Milady’s feelings… what will happen…? What will people think of Milady?”

“…Why does it matter?”

“Why does it matter…?”

Yudith squatted down, filling the narrow alleyway with their presence. The narrow alleyway was so small that their knees touched when they sat down, and it seemed that only their breaths could be heard in the confined space.

“I don’t care what anyone says except for you.”

“I care… I don’t want Milady to be criticized by others…”

Yudith took one of Chloe’s hands that was covering her face and slowly began to caress it. The simple touch continued, and slowly their fingers intertwined.

“If I’m by Milady’s side… someday it will be a loss for Milady. Someday you might regret accepting me and get hurt.”

Chloe hid her face further between her knees, avoiding Yudith’s gaze. Her heart didn’t want to, but reality did.

She might have already been eyed with suspicion by many people at The Earl’s residence.

The way they looked at the master hugging the maid in front of other people felt like a chill running down her spine, strangling her.

“So… please take back the feelings you have for me, Milady.”

Chloe’s voice trembled as if she were sobbing. She shook off the hand that Yudith was holding, as if telling her not to come any closer, and hid it in her arms.

“…I don’t think the love I give you will come back as a wound.”

Her gentle voice continued softly.

“I don’t intend to care about what others think, and I don’t think it’s a loss.”

Yudith whispered slowly and gently.

“I don’t intend to regret it. If you love me… that would be a blessing for me.”

Even a small breath causes a tidal wave.

As if to wash away all the words of rejection I had thought of.

Yudith smiled and lifted Chloe’s face to meet her eyes.

Tears streamed down her face, making her eyes red.

“You said you’d do anything for me, right…?”

Yudith whispered to Chloe, her forehead touching hers, with a desperate-looking smile, as if pleading.

“Love me.”

I have to hold back.

“It’s okay, there’s nothing to lose.”

I have to hold back.

“Because I love you more.”

This heart that is helplessly tilting.

The heart betrays the heart.

“I… I…”

Chloe’s voice trembled.

Yudith, thinking that there wasn’t much time left, didn’t back down any further.

“What do you… think of me? Am I right in thinking…? Do you… love me…?”

Chloe’s blue eyes shook greatly.

Yudith was somewhat confident.

She knew that Chloe, who had been coming to her since that night but running away when she tried to cross a certain line, had been narrowing the gap between that line lately.

She was just confused now. She knew that if she took advantage of that confusion, she could blur her line.

Yudith knew that Chloe loved her.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t blush like that. She wouldn’t care about me. Her actions were clearly those of someone in love, no matter who looked at them.

She was just confused now, but when that confusion cleared, her heart would be filled with feelings for her.

She realized that now was the time to clear up this confusion and for the feelings that had sprouted in Chloe’s heart to finally bloom.

“Chloe.”

Yudith wiped away the flowing tears as if comforting Chloe, and then stroked her face.

“Don’t be afraid.”

Their eyes met, and a large tear rolled down Chloe’s eye.

Yudith smiled as she wiped away the trembling eyes and the unceasing tears.

“The things you’re thinking won’t happen… The love you give won’t be a wound.”

Yudith slowly brought her face closer and kissed Chloe’s lips.

Chloe’s shoulders flinched.

Chloe couldn’t react to what happened in an instant, as she was staring blankly.

A kiss that didn’t force her like before.

Just a soft kiss that wasn’t even a kiss.

It was just a fleeting touch of lips, but unlike a normal kiss, she felt a tingling sensation from her toes to her head.

Yudith, who slowly brushed past her lips to her ear, whispered in her ear.

“I need you.”

Chloe’s eyes shook greatly.

Had her heart ever fluttered this much?

The feelings hidden in her heart had already bloomed brightly and borne fruit.

“Is it okay… for me to be by Milady’s side…?”

“Yes… I’d be grateful if you’d be by my side.”

“Do you… love me…?”

“Yes. Since eight years ago…”

“Don’t you hate me… for not noticing for so long…?”

“Not at all…? It was more of a problem because it kept growing.”

Chloe sobbed and released the words she had buried inside.

The feelings for Yudith that she could no longer hide could no longer be stopped.

“So… the answer…?”

Chloe realized that she could no longer hide these feelings. She said it was okay. She said she wouldn’t get hurt. She said she loved me.

Now all she had to do was answer that reward.

“Yes… I… I love Milady too.”

“Yes… I love you too.”

Yudith smiled brightly and kissed Chloe’s lips.

The emotions that Chloe had forcibly suppressed swelled up as if they were about to burst, and became uncontrollably large.

She was swallowed up by those enlarged emotions.

Everything about Yudith sparkled and looked lovely.

Was it the backlash from the emotions she had been holding back?

Yudith’s small smile, Yudith’s warm touch, everything was so lovely that she was impatient.

She might be called a maid who seduced a noble. But it’s okay.

Yudith won’t abandon me, and I love Yudith too.

Because she promised me that. That she loves me. That she needs me.

Now, instead of being someone who holds her back, I’m standing by her side as a lover who loves each other.

I have to be by Yudith’s side.

It’s okay, this isn’t an obsession with Yudith. It’s because I love her.

It’s okay, this is.

Love.

---

Yudith couldn’t erase the smile from her face as she walked out of the alleyway holding hands.

Chloe had finally acknowledged her feelings and accepted my heart.

There was a part where I forcibly confirmed her feelings, but…

I had no choice but to be so forceful rather than continue to see Chloe smiling at others during our time together.

I don’t care if it’s ugly jealousy. She’s already mine.

What’s wrong with trying not to have my things taken away by others?

It’s okay, this isn’t just possessiveness.

It’s not just a small possessiveness that wants to covet everything about Chloe.

Now it’s okay to covet Chloe anytime, to love Chloe.

It’s okay, because this is my love.

---

The first date ended in failure, and after promising to meet again, we were about to return to The Earl’s residence, but Yudith said she didn’t want to and turned the carriage towards the Grand Ducal Family.

After getting into the carriage with the words that Damian would take care of the work at The Earl’s residence anyway, we arrived at the Grand Ducal Family first.

After arriving at the Grand Ducal Family, we had already finished dinner, took a bath, and it was time to go to bed.

Chloe’s heart was pounding as she was about to share her first bed with Yudith as a couple.

It was clearly the same bed as usual, but for some reason, she was nervous and her face turned red.

Chloe slapped herself on the face, as if she was someone who was impatient for such things, and calmed her excited heart.

Yudith’s appearance after taking a bath was so beautiful. Should I describe it as lovely? Her wet neck shimmering in the fire, her skin looking warm as the warmth of the bath hadn’t cooled down, seemed to evoke wicked desires.

“Shall we go to sleep now?”

“Y-Yes, hehe!”

Chloe’s tongue twisted as a result of being too nervous. Had she been caught being nervous? Yudith chuckled, turned off the lights, and lay down next to Chloe.

-Thump thump thump

The first night since becoming lovers. The memories of that time seemed to shine brightly, making it feel like she was having trouble breathing.

When will she touch me? When will she come closer? Chloe kept looking at the ceiling, anticipating.

But for some reason, Yudith didn’t try to touch her.

“…?”

When she turned her head, she saw Yudith closing her eyes and breathing softly. It felt like her excited heart was deflating.

Feeling a sense of injustice, as if she was the only one excited, Chloe knew she couldn’t let things continue this way. She steeled herself and climbed on top of Yudith, attempting to seduce her.

“Milady…are you asleep…?”

“Pfft…”

“Milady…!”

Seeing Yudith’s slight burst of laughter, Chloe realized it had all been a mischievous prank. She felt her face burning with embarrassment.

“You wanted to that badly?”

“W-Well…it’s…it’s also our first day…as lovers…”

Chloe made a lame excuse, avoiding Yudith’s gaze.

“You’re so cute, really.”

“Milady…!”

“So, you ended up liking it back then?”

“Th-That’s…”

Chloe nodded slightly. Seeing Chloe’s unveiled feelings, Yudith opened her arms and embraced her.

Then, she flipped Chloe over, so Yudith was on top, and met her eyes.

Yudith’s fingers caressed Chloe’s lips. Imagining what was to come, Chloe’s face flushed crimson.

‘Why does just looking at her face make me so happy? Why does my heart beat so fast?’

Yudith’s fingers gently parted Chloe’s lips, and their faces slowly drew closer.