Chapter 1: We broke up, didn’t we?

“…Let’s stop this.”

Perhaps deep down, I think I expected the day would come when I’d hear those words.

Even when I tried not to think about it, the words kept coming to mind, the words that declared our breakup.

What did I say back then? No, did I even respond properly?

I probably couldn’t say anything, my lips trembling as I forced a smile and barely managed to nod. Even though my insides were narrower than a pinhole, I’m the kind of guy who wants to look cool to others, that’s who I am.

Why are you suddenly breaking up with me when things were going so well? Did I do something wrong? I couldn’t even form those questions into sentences in my head, let alone say them out loud.

Of course, I don’t know the reason. I couldn’t ask anything and was dumped one-sidedly, so how would I know what triggered the decision to break up?

I just assumed there was something about me that he didn’t like. That I wasn’t good enough to catch his eye.

…No.

Actually, from the very beginning, from the moment I confessed to him.

I was never reflected in his eyes. I was never loved by him, not even once.

If he didn’t love me, then why did he accept my confession?

Why didn’t he reject me right away, and instead played along with my one-sided crush, for a whole year?

As a coward, I didn’t have the courage to ask such a sensitive question, so I just assumed I was lacking and moved on.

Chewing on the bittersweetness of my insecure first love and heartbreak, I tried to push it into a corner of my memories.

“…Have you eaten?”

“Yes, yes? Oh, no, I was just about to go eat…”

But why, why on earth.

“Let’s go together. I’ll pay.”

“Well, I’ve been imposing on you all week, I can’t keep getting meals…”

He was the one who said let’s break up, that he hoped we could go back to being normal coworkers like before.

“It’s okay. I’m just feeling lonely eating alone. Don’t feel too burdened.”

“Still…”

“Besides.”

Why now, of all times, is he doing this?

“No one will think it’s weird if two people eat together… since we’re both women.”

Only after I became a woman.

“…..Okay..”

Could it be that I’m finally starting to be reflected in this person’s eyes?