episode_0177

000

Even if the balance of the world tilts, and the political situation of the kingdom continues to decline, the moon in the sky only tilts according to the passage of time and repeats its waxing and waning.

The pouring moonlight is bright and beautiful, so while looking up at it, one is tempted by its magic and disturbs the sleep of the viewer.

However, unlike the brightly full moon, her heart, looking up at the sky in the monastery’s garden, was lacking and gradually tilting.

After safely returning the two escapees to the monastery, Eustace, whose mind was complicated by the truth learned through communion with Iona, could not possibly fall asleep.

In the end, after tossing and turning in bed, she leaves her room and goes to the garden where a cool breeze blows, only to look at the sky.

Still, thump, thump… the sound of the heartbeat echoing with each breath felt so loud that it made her ears dizzy.

It was as if the body and mind were not meshing together, causing a rejection reaction.

To calm her mind even a little, Mistilteinn, who is still unconscious and recovering, is also hanging on her waist…

“Leona…”

Memories of their short time together come to mind.

Black hair, beautiful swordsmanship. And a strong woman.

Although the ending was not so beautiful, it was thanks to Leona’s teachings that she is who she is now.

It was her voice and Tio’s sacrifice that changed the coward who tried to run away from his father, from responsibility, and from everything that made him suffer.

And, Kleon.

To be honest, she didn’t think about him that deeply even when she met him in Elesia.

Just that he saved Rubera, that he was a disciple of Talcheck, and that he was a magic swordsman who acted with Iona.

And, that he was a brave man who stopped the disaster that his father was partly responsible for.

An adventurer close to the ideal image that she had as her goal. She only had that much thought about him.

If there were any commonalities between the two, it would be that they are members of the Black Magic clan who like to care about others, and that they are swordsmen of great skill.

`Well, that’s only natural since he’s Talcheck’s disciple.`

When he was excluded from the Adventurer’s Guild in the royal capital, his prediction that he was related to Leona was almost correct.

Not just related by blood, but it was her.

“…Kleon is, Leona.”

Eustace muttered once again as if to remind himself of that fact.

Why Kleon appeared before him in the form of a woman… he could easily make such a guess.

Back then, it would have been easier for her to approach him as a woman than as a man.

However, she, who cannot tolerate injustice, broke up with Eustace without even spending a day.

Maybe. Considering what he was originally trying to do, it would have been rational for her to accept his whining or comfort him.

Even so, she didn’t do that because others were hurt because of him.

He learned all of that from the memories that flowed in from her when he captured Iona.

Therefore, Eustace’s heart continues to waver.

Like a small flame flickering in the wind.

Which way was his heart, this yearning (戀慕), directed?

Eustace decided to be honest in order to sort out his thoughts once again.

After his body turned into a woman, his heart races every time he sees Kleon, his face flushes. Sweet thoughts flash through his mind.

It was no different from what he felt for Leona when he was a man.

In other words, to be honest, even though Eustace knew that Justina had feelings of love for `Kleon`, Eustace continued to deny it.

Well, of course.

Eustace Woodknocker has lived as a man for over a decade since he was born.

Even though his body has turned into a woman due to the succubus’ curse, and even his mind is gradually changing into a woman.

His identity is still that of a man.

While thinking that there is no need to be bound by outdated ideas like, “Men shouldn’t love men,”

He prided himself on being a man who loves women.

He tried to deny his feelings for Kleon, and tried to suppress Justina inside him from growing every time he touched his strength and kindness.

But. If the person he loved, Leona, is actually a fictional character who doesn’t exist.

If Kleon is the only one who exists in the world.

Isn’t `Eustace’s love` meaningless after all?

If he admits that to himself. His heart starts to ache, his head goes blank. He feels like his body is hot. His hands and feet are trembling.

His breathing becomes stuffy, his nose tingles, and tears start to well up in his eyes without him realizing it.

He wants to cry it all out, but he can’t because of his patheticness.

Rather, Kleon didn’t think it was pathetic that Eustace was chasing after Leona.

He knew how important she was to Eustace, so he didn’t want to destroy Eustace’s dream, even if it meant deceiving him.

If that is cruel, then of course it may be cruel.

Eustace couldn’t shake off his own patheticness for settling for Kleon’s kindness.

And. Even now, he felt even more pathetic for not being able to hold on to the reeds of his wavering heart, and all he could do was sigh and look up at the moon.

“Are you watching the moon?”

At that moment, Eustace turns his head at the kind voice coming from behind him.

The owner of the voice was the head of this monastery, whom Eustace knew well.

After speaking to Eustace, she slowly walked over and stood next to her.

Even after entering the monastery, it wasn’t the first time Eustace had spoken to her, but every time she heard her voice, she was reminded of her mother from her childhood.

Was it because she was a clergywoman like her and a kind person?

“No. …Rather than the moon, I was reflecting on myself.”

“Oh my. That’s quite a philosophical story. Should I open the confessional?”

“U-um… No. It’s not to that extent…”

As a result, she was able to easily bring up stories from her heart that she couldn’t easily reveal to others.

“… That’s what happened to your body. It’s only natural for people to feel agony. I’ve seen other people wandering around late at night several times besides Eustace.”

Eustace was silent for a moment at her words.

She had been immersed in the feeling that she had become the protagonist of a tragedy, but when she thought about it, she was doing a little better.

“… Among those who have become women… there were also people with families. People with wives and children.”

At Eustace’s words, the head nodded quietly.

Among those who came here and regained consciousness for the first time, there were quite a few who asked to be sent back home.

Especially those with families.

However, some of them have now accepted themselves as women.

The succubus’s curse has eaten away at the memories and ego they had as men.

The one fact that makes Eustace uneasy is that point.

If her body turns into a woman and a female ego is born, wouldn’t her current self, `Eustace Woodknocker`, disappear?

Wouldn’t she accept that she is a woman, have feelings for Kleon, and try to convey those feelings as `Justina`?

“Eustace, would you like to tell me about the worries you have in your heart?”

“… Head.”

Perhaps having read Eustace’s expression, the head carefully took his hand.

“… Before I became like this… there was someone I liked.”

“Oh my, it was a love problem.”

When Eustace said that, the head changed her expression as if she was surprised.

Eustace also makes eye contact with her, but she knows that it is her consideration to create an atmosphere so that Eustace can easily tell her the story.

“Yes… It’s a bit of a complicated love, though. The person I loved is strong, beautiful… and a precious person who caught me when I was walking in the wrong direction.”

Every time he uttered a word, the image of Leona flickered before his eyes.

However, it is soon covered by the image of Kleon.

“I aimed for that person and became an adventurer. And. I was trying to work hard to become someone who wouldn’t be ashamed of her enough to be with her someday… but when I found out, she was a non-existent person.”

“… …”

Eustace’s words were emotional and didn’t go through his head properly. Therefore, if someone who didn’t know the circumstances heard it, it would be incomprehensible.

However, the head does not deny or question Eustace’s words, but quietly listens to him.

“Ah, no… It’s strange to say that she doesn’t exist. A real person disguised as someone else… or should I say… that person is also strong and wonderful. He helps me and is trusted by many people around me.”

Eustace said that, then hesitated for a moment-

“It’s just that he’s a man… that’s the problem.”

“Aha.”

At Eustace’s words, she made a sound as if she understood and nodded.

“That’s certainly a troubling problem. You had feelings for him thinking he was a woman, but in fact he was a man… And, is it because your body has become a woman that you are drawn to him? Is that what you mean?”

Eustace slowly nodded at the head’s words.

His brown hair reflecting the moonlight, his slightly bulging breasts.

His slender waist, his fleshy buttocks.

It wasn’t a form that he wanted to be, but his mind, soul, and body were drawn to it.

He becomes aware of men.

“Eustace, how about you? Are you disappointed that the person you admired was actually a `man`?”

“… Well, yes… No… Actually, more than disappointment, I was somehow `convinced`. Maybe it’s because I sensed traces of `her` in him without realizing it. Maybe I was drawn to `him`.”

Because he wasn’t disappointed, Eustace wasn’t angry.

He wasn’t angry at the fact that he had been deceived.

Even if he didn’t `feel relieved` that Leona was actually a man.

There was a part of him that didn’t think it was a big deal.

“If so. Isn’t that actually unrelated to `gender`?”

“… …?”

Eustace tilts his head as if he doesn’t understand the head’s words.

Then the head smiled and began to speak.

“In the end, Eustace was drawn to `one person` both before and after his body changed. Of course. People have `gender` walls that God has set for them. Therefore, whether they can actually be together or not depends on fate.”

Eustace slowly nodded at her words.

Certainly. He was thinking about Leona and Kleon somewhat separately. Thinking about `common points`. Those two are `one person`.

“The attraction that one person has for another is not always love. There can be friendship, and there can be admiration. But if Eustace felt `love` for either, then that love is a precious heart that transcends `walls`, wouldn’t you say?”

“… …”

“It may be that because your body has become a woman, you have less aversion to feeling love for a man. But, you wouldn’t simply come to love a man just because of that, would you? Eustace’s heart has `not changed`. From beginning to end, you are `loving the same person`.”

At those words, Eustace’s eyes widened and he felt a shock as if he had been hit on the head with a hammer.

Leona, whom Eustace loved.

Kleon, whom Justina loves.

In the end, the same person. `He` has always been looking at, admiring, and drawn to `that person`.

He didn’t become a homosexual. `That person` is Kleon, but at the same time, he was also Leona.

Therefore, it meant that his gender or his gender was irrelevant.

He could feel the complicated lines of emotion loosening the moment he understood that.

“How is it, Eustace? Do you feel a little calmer now?”

“…Yes. Thank you, Head… You’re right, Head. I haven’t changed. My body is like this, but regardless of the succubus’ curse.”

The head nodded at Eustace’s words.

The sound of his heart beating, thump, thump, gradually subsided, and the worries and anxieties that filled his head disappeared like salt dissolved in water.

As she said, it was a simple story.

When he thinks about it that way, today’s worries. Everything that had been suppressing him until now all disappears.

He is himself.

Whether his body is a woman or a man. The direction of this heart has not changed.

And, no matter what the other person looks like, no matter what their gender is.

If he can regard this heart as his precious one.

Regardless of whether he was a man in the past or is now a woman, he can acknowledge his feelings for `him`.

When he thought about it that way, the flickering small flame regained its strength.

Just like the day he moved to the Adventurer’s Guild after settling things with his father.

“I… Kleon-”

001

A dark room. A space where demons extend their claws to the royal capital, existing to watch over everything.

The women sprawled at his feet were trembling, foaming at the mouth, with only the whites of their eyes showing, as if their souls had left their bodies.

They are all failures. Failures that do not meet the standards, unable to sprout, let alone bloom, even if seeds are planted.

The flow of black magic flowing into the royal capital has stopped in two places, but his magic surrounding the royal capital has not yet disappeared.

“… …”

Ishtal kicked the women on the floor with cold eyes, then sighed and snapped his fingers.

Then, her subordinates who had been waiting outside carried the dead women’s bodies out of the room.

“It means it’s not easy to get my hands on…”

As he said that and looked at the miniature of the royal capital.

Suddenly. Something seemed to shine.

The outskirts of the royal capital… the `monastery` that he had not paid attention to.

“…It sprouted.”

The corners of Ishtal’s mouth turned up.

A flower in the heart. The seed for bearing the fruit called decision had now sprouted.