episode_0044

“What is it?”

“You’ll find out when you follow me.”

My defiance ended as meaningless resistance. Cecilia was likely stronger than me in raw strength, too.

In the end, I was half-dragged along by her.

After walking for a few minutes, Cecilia and I stood in front of a small orphanage.

“This is…?”

“The place where I first met him. Where everything began.”

“‘Him’? Did you have a lover or something? Not that I care.”

Ignoring my remark, Cecilia spoke.

“He was truly foolish. Even though he knew it was impossible, he flailed about, insisting he would protect what needed protecting—only to end up losing even himself.”

Unable to take it anymore, I cut her off.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Are you curious?”

“It’s romantic, I guess. Giving your all for someone like that… it’s not easy.”

“Romantic? Haha. Is that what you think?”

Cecilia tilted her head slightly and looked at me.

“Eric.”

“What?”

“You do remember, don’t you?”

I froze, unable to move.

“The stance when firing Magic Bullets, the magical formula to construct them—they’re far from ordinary. Elia used to favor them, remember?”

“……”

I couldn’t say a word.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

My first instinct was denial.

“Hmm. Starting with denial, are we? Fine, I’ll play along for now—though I don’t know why. Where did you learn that magic?”

“I… taught myself…”

“Do you really think someone capable of altering magical formulas to that degree wouldn’t even know whether or not to use their own magic? Does that sound believable?”

“Fine. I saw Elia using it in a prophecy. I just copied her.”

Crackle—!

A small mass of magic formed above Cecilia’s hand.

“This is a slightly modified version of the Magic Bullet you claimed to have copied. Same rotational direction, speed, even output. You should be able to replicate it, right?”

“……”

Cecilia shrugged lightly and dissipated the bullet.

“You can’t. You don’t have the analytical skill to reverse-engineer a spell just by seeing it.”

“That’s…”

“Just admit it. I did suspect you were hiding something… but I won’t pry further.”

“Huh?”

“I won’t ask, and I won’t resent you. Just… tell me. Let me believe this feeling isn’t just misplaced emotion.”

“…Fine. You’re right.”

I hadn’t wanted to be exposed over something so ridiculous. But with my hand already completely revealed, trying to hide anything else would only end with me getting hurt—just like with Chris.

Any further penalties would be dangerous.

“In that case, Eric! There’s something I need to tell you—!”

That’s not happening.

I covered her mouth.

“Shh.”

I won’t let what happened with Chris repeat itself.

It’s fine. I can still control this. Even if she knows my secret, what matters is that she doesn’t say it.

“No more. You think we can just act chummy now? Don’t fuck with me.”

“But—”

“Come to my mansion. I’ll tell you everything—where no one else can hear.”

“Okay…”

For some reason, Cecilia was blushing, stroking her lips.

Did I press too hard?

—

“Hm-hm~ Hmm.”

Days had passed since raiding the dungeon with Eric. Cecilia hummed to herself as she got dressed.

How shocked had I been when I first saw him? All those excuses—about training, about group missions—were just to spend even a little more time by his side.

But watching Eric fight recklessly in the dungeon put her at ease.

He’s still Eric after all.

That’s why, this time, she had to protect him.

She couldn’t bear to lose him again in such a pathetic way. No—because of that, she had to protect him.

Honestly, her heart was racing a little.

He invited me to his home?

For Eric to go that far meant he trusted her that much.

Even Cecilia herself knew—compared to the other party members, she was the one who had treated Eric the best.

“Perfect!”

Once she arrived, she’d start by apologizing, no matter what.

And then…

Lost in thought, Cecilia ended up staying awake the entire night with wide eyes.

“Oh, Lady Saintess!”

“I’m not a saintess yet—just Cecilia is fine.”

“What brings you here?”

“I came to see Eric.”

The moment she said that, the guard’s expression soured.

“Why would you visit him? Did something happen, Lady Saintess?”

The soldiers meant well, but irritation welled up in her all the same.

Had Eric tolerated this treatment in his own home without complaint?

If he had his memories, he should’ve been even more resentful—yet how had he talked to her so calmly?

“Idiot…”

“Huh?”

“Eric is my dear friend. I won’t forgive insults toward him.”

“We didn’t mean—!”

“And surely you know it’s wrong to disgrace your own master, don’t you?”

“Well… It’s just…”

“…I’m going in. Escort me.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

Watching the guards falter as they led her inside, Cecilia sighed in relief.

She hadn’t abandoned her title as Lady Rurstal—alongside her saintess candidacy—precisely for situations like this.

But as she strode through Grave Mansion, she noticed something odd.

Nothing.

No matter where she looked, there wasn’t a single trace suggesting Eric Grave lived here.

“In a place like this…”

Had Eric lived here all along—somewhere so barren?

Alongside her pity for Eric, rage toward Chris flared inside her.

As the lady of the house, Chris had to know about this.

Yet she’d left Eric to endure it—as if this was what he deserved.

How could she let this happen when she knew everything?

Unforgivable.

If she saw Chris, she’d say it outright: You don’t deserve Eric.

He needed better treatment—something worthy of him.

Like… shelter under the saintess’s protection, perhaps?

A smile curled on Cecilia’s lips.

She knew she had no right to such thoughts, but she couldn’t stop herself.

Yet just as she reached for the door, voices from inside froze her in place.

“Just kill her already!”

“Be reasonable!”

“You’re not the only saintess candidate! There are plenty of others besides Cecilia Rurstal! Why cling to her like this?!”

“Enough. We’ll talk later—Cecilia will be here soon.”

“That’s why I’m saying it now! Sentimentality is pointless! If we don’t kill her, Eric dies! I won’t watch that happen again!”

SLAM—!

Cecilia threw the door open.

“What was that? Eric dies?”

—

Ah.

Well, fuck.

I hadn’t expected Cecilia to arrive so soon.

If she overheard everything, dodging won’t work.

Less time wasted, I guess.

Trying to console myself, I gestured to her.

“You’re here? Sit. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

As Cecilia took her seat, I lightly patted Chris’s head.

“Cool your head.”

Then, I briefly explained my situation to both of them—that I had my memories, that I still intended to raise them as heroes, and that I’d die if they felt regret or longing for me.

“And you expect me to believe that?”

“Believe it or not, that’s your choice. But at least Chris’s words should be proof enough for you, no?”

“I don’t trust her. For all I know, she could be using you—or lying outright.”

“Quit the pathetic excuses, unnie. You just don’t want to admit it—that even after regressing, Eric is still suffering.”

“Yes.”

Surprisingly, Cecilia conceded immediately.

“…The academy incidents, the way Eric still has to handle everything—how is that possible?!”

“At least you realize it’s too much. And you—don’t talk like that. Even just tearing down the churches falls under ‘dangerous’ work.”

“Well, true, but…”

I understood why Cecilia was worried.

In the end, what I had to do was pretend not to know while—

—letting them all live in a twisted version of The Truman Show.

Noticing my thoughts, Cecilia hesitantly spoke.

“Eric, wouldn’t it be better to tell everyone? Even if we keep your memories a secret, it’d still help! Look at me—I know the truth, but you’re fine!”

“Absolutely not! Just Chris knowing has already messed me up—you saw that. I won’t take that risk with the others. It’s safer to keep acting.”

“Then how about we stick to the original plan and just kill Cecilia-unnie and me?”

Chris said it so casually.

“Four people knowing means you die, right? Then removing the cause is the best solution.”

“Are you insane? Who’s going to fight the Demon King then? Who’ll win? You’re missing the point—I trust you guys. You’re the only ones who can defeat it.”

“Disappointing…”

“Right. The only thing I want is for you not to do it for me.”

Their emotions—the condition of my trial—were meaningless shackles now that they knew I remembered.

All I could do was impose the loosest possible leash.

“Let’s just pretend ignorance. That’s my last act of consideration. Whether you come to me or try to help, I won’t care.”

“You’re really trying to push us away that hard?”

“‘Push you away’? What nonsense. I know what you need to do. If you need help, I’ll give it.”

I was the one who best understood how crucial their roles were—maybe even more than they did.

Hell, saying this almost felt unfair.

“That’s not what I mean! Chris—are you seriously okay with this?!”

“I can’t say anything. Oppa’s made up his mind. So I’ll wait—until it changes.”

That’ll never happen, but at least Chris understood me well.

Yet Cecilia still refused to accept it, pressing me again.