Chapter 90: Those With Memories (8)

Emerald is also a girl of that age, after all.

There is something more delicate about her than I thought.

I yawned slightly as I watched Emerald’s back as she silently entered the room.

‘I never thought that would come out of Emerald’s mouth.’

When did I think Emerald would always be Emerald?

Honestly, isn’t that right? I’ve always seen Emerald as Emerald, but suddenly quitting being a magical girl?

[Akari, can I talk to you for a moment?]

“Haa, you too…”

As I glanced at Emerald, who was sitting on the bed with her head down, Mei spoke to me with a pretended serious expression.

From magical girls to their partners, they were all so serious today.

I felt so bad that I wanted to throw it far away, but I decided to just let it slide for today.

To be honest, I was also curious about what she would say.

[Emerald was really confused.]

“I know. It’s obvious just by looking at her, so why are you bringing it up again…”

[I wish you were human…]

Mei said lamenting.

It would have been nice if I were human… It would have been nice not to have to be bothered by magical girls.

But such assumptions were meaningless.

There was no point in me being human in the first place.

I couldn’t be sure, but from the moment Emerald recalled her memories of the previous world, I had already been a monster.

“If I were human, I would have become a magical girl and exploited your race.”

[Ahaha, maybe that’s fortunate.]

“Do you want me to disappear too?”

[…]

It was a bit too serious for something to be said right after a joke, but it was an issue that I had to address someday.

After all, magical girls are created by those partners—fairies, I think.

Anyway, guys like Mei giving them power.

Since they were the ones who created magical girls, there was no way they would look kindly on me.

Even if they had looked kindly on me in the first place, I would have felt bad.

[I don’t know about the other fairies, but the most important thing to me is that Emerald is happy.]

“… ”

[Emerald looks really happy when she’s with you, but the problems that arise from being with you are making her unhappy.]

“It means that she wants to disappear.”

Although she was beating around the bush, that’s what Mei meant.

Well, it was a bit far-fetched for a magical girl and a monster to live under the same roof.

I knew it would happen someday, so I didn’t feel any emotion.

All I could think was that it had finally come.

“I tried to suck up Emerald’s despair by her side until she died of old age, but that’s too bad.”

[…]

“I’m sorry, Akari. But—”

“Don’t say sorry, it’s disgusting. Oh, and don’t say thank you either.”

Would it be creepier if a cockroach said, ‘I’m sorry for kicking you out of my house,’ or ‘Thank you for leaving my house’?

Would it be more creepy to say that?

Mei, who was about to say something but ended up closing her mouth, raised the corners of her lips.

‘I can’t curse her for bending her arm inward when I see it’s bent inward.’

If she wanted to bend it outward, she would have to break its arm in the first place, but this was a mild-mannered monster, so she didn’t really have any intention of breaking its good arm.

Oh, really. I was just trying to stick with it for as long as possible…

Anyway, does this mean I’ll have to break up with Tamako too?

That’s a little—no, quite a shame.

‘Where should I seek out the despair of magical girls from now on…’

Should I go find the Doctor or something?

Even though the Doctor’s despair was faint, its color was clear, so if I tried, I would be able to find it somehow.

Since it came to this, this time, I had no choice but to change the target of my clinging to Aya.

“Please say hello to Emerald.”

[Huh? You’re leaving now? Like this suddenly?]

“Your words were sudden, so it’s not strange that you’re leaving suddenly, right?”

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt.

No, I felt like it would be enough if a monster of my size just stayed by Emerald’s side.

I said I understood, but it seemed like losing Emerald and Tamako’s despair was still quite regrettable, even for me.

“And, Emerald has to be Emerald.”

[…]

After hearing Mei’s silence at my words, I quietly got up from my seat.

If I could at least take this sofa with me…

…Should I just take it?

After thinking about it for a moment, I eventually made my choice.

***

“Akari. Tonight–”

Ah.

I let out a short sigh as I looked at the empty living room.

The same scenery as when I first came here.

A space where there was no one, where I existed alone.

“Akari?”

There was no answer when I called her name.

I wanted to think that she had left for a moment, but the anxiety that was beginning to bloom inside me did not easily disappear.

As if my thoughts were right.

[Emerald…]

“Mei, have you seen Akari by any chance?”

[Akari is no longer here.]

“…”

Mei’s words left me speechless.

All that could mean was that Akari had left.

But, why?

Was she disappointed because I said such weak things?

If not, then why on earth…

[Akari asked me to say hello. And, um…]

“…And?”

[She said she would take the sofa…]

“Ah.”

My eyes widened at the word that suddenly popped out.

Now that I think about it, there’s no sofa.

The red sofa that used to be in front of the TV.

When I thought about how she’d always be lying on it whenever I came home, I bit my lip and burst out laughing.

“Pfft, ahaha… ahahahahahaha…!!”

[…]

Yeah, I could definitely give you a sofa.

…Still, it would have been nice if you had at least said something.

“Haha… ha… hmph…”

I slowly inhaled as the pain stabbed my heart.

It was my weakness that prevented Akari from believing in me.

If I had said I would take responsibility, I shouldn’t have broken down in the end.

‘In the end, you made Akari give up for your own sake, Emerald.’

I bit my lip and slowly exhaled.

I held back the tears that threatened to burst at any moment and walked unsteadily.

…I’m tired, really.

I threw myself onto the bed as my vision began to spin around.

[Akari will be fine, Emerald.]

“…”

I heard comforting words, but they didn’t comfort me at all.

What if she doesn’t do well?

I started to list my worries, one by one, in my head, even though I vaguely worried about such things but couldn’t say them out loud.

Will she eat well? Will she have trouble sleeping? What if she can’t adapt to the new environment? What if she gets attacked by a magical girl, etc. etc.

[The fact that you worry a lot means that you care about Akari that much.]

“I care about her, but…”

When did Akari become such a precious person to me?

When I first met her, she was definitely hostile, and when I brought her home under the pretext of surveillance, she probably wasn’t that kind.

But Akari broke through my suspicions and wariness, and eventually took a place in my heart.

‘Don’t worry about useless things, Emerald.’

‘It’s usually best to do annoying things last. If you do the easy things first and then the annoying ones, even if you fail, you’ll have the consolation of having finished the easy ones.’

Are you here? I guess there wasn’t anything to despair about today. Too bad.

‘If Garnet and you fell into the water, who would you save first? I wouldn’t save them. There’s no way I could save a magical girl with my own hands.’

Even now, Akari’s voice seemed right next to me.

Sometimes she was like a playful little sister, sometimes like a grumbling but secretly caring older sister, sometimes like a grandfather who seemed detached and recited, and sometimes like a father who gave serious advice—

Ah, right.

I thought of Akari as family.

[Still, don’t worry too much. If you think about it, Akari trusted you too, right? That’s why she reacted so calmly when you told her you were quitting being a magical girl. Now it’s your turn to trust Akari, Emerald.]

“…That’s right.”

A separation once would not be a separation forever.

If I live, I will meet you again someday.

Since you trusted me, I will trust you back.

Because—

“—It’s natural to trust your family.”

[…]

Mei’s expression changed into something funny at the word family.

It was an expression that seemed like she couldn’t understand, but also like she could understand.

She lifted the corners of her mouth as she read the complicated feelings contained in her small face.

“See you next time, Akari.”

When I see you again, please, I hope to see you in good health.

Looking at the empty living room, I thought of Akari’s smiling face—no, her indifferent face.

After all, Akari doesn’t smile much, so huh.

Okay. Then let’s see Akari’s smiling face as our next goal.

So, until then, goodbye.