episode_0199

Crunch, crunch.

The sound of snow crunching underfoot was rather poignant.

The girl decided to be honest with herself. Only after confronting her darkest self.

-Neria-nim. -I told you I’d be alright.

Back then, the boy had stopped her, but this time, it was her own responsibility.

Neria stretched out her arms and embraced the girl in front of her. Her hand naturally withdrew the dagger. As if begging her not to. She whispered into her ear. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

What she had found from happy, cozy memories. A single phrase distilled from those stories. About the ‘you’ she had ignored. And about herself. “You… are no longer alone.”

Thump, thump.

Now she could feel her heart beating. The self that had hidden beyond the starlight obscured by festering wounds.

The girl in her arms slowly, carefully looked up at Neria. Before she knew it, the girl had become younger, appearing around ten years old. Exactly the age she had been taken in by the Sovereign.

-Really…?

The girl questioned. With trembling lips and eyes that held back tears. Even that poignant helplessness was heartbreaking.

“Yes, really.” Neria nodded. A faint smile spread across her lips. “Because now, everyone is here.”

-Doesn’t everyone hate me? “Not at all. They definitely won’t.” -But… what if I ruin everything again? Like that person, the Sovereign’s, prophecy. “Ignore such nonsense. No one can carelessly speak of another’s future or destiny.” -But it hurt… the world always made us lonely and miserable. “Even so, it’s okay. Even amidst such misery, a home to return to has appeared.”

-Home…? “Yes, home.”

Now, the boy’s words made sense. Because she had come to know the kindness beyond the world, winter, and wounds. Pure white light shimmered in her pupils, where the mist had cleared.

Neria cried. “So many homes of mine… that always welcome me, let me rest my eyes when I’m tired, and to which I can return anytime.” One child had so many homes.

The mansion she had lived in the past, and the headquarters where she currently resided. Astro, which had steadily built its power since its founding. Sir Kyle, who treated her with familiarity. The members who subtly showed her respect. Lastly, her Master, who had saved her. Because all of them existed, the girl was able to live, even holding her wounds. Thus, for Neria, all those names were home.

“You know what?” Even the destiny that tormented me, that was a home I could return to. This vast world, it was all home to me. Neria’s voice choked with tears. “All this time… I hated you so much.”

She was always afraid. Afraid that one day she might lose control, and everything would be ruined. Afraid that she would end up alone again, treading through a desolate wasteland. The more precious the things beside her became, the greater her fear grew. That’s why, day by day, she hated herself, hated ‘you.’ “Perhaps I lacked the courage… to love you.”

Bruised and battered. Every night, she would plunge a knife into her heart. She would kill herself, her heart, that way. But that had been wrong.

“I wanted you to disappear. I wanted you to die. Yet, I also wanted to remain by the side of my precious people. I wanted to believe in the word ‘happiness’ again. I hated even that contradictory self.” That was her most pathetic self. And her most pained self.

“I’m sorry.”

A fading confession. Neria naturally recalled someone. The boy who had embraced her when she was crying in this winter. Because being able to face her past here and now was solely thanks to him.

Yuda Snakers. Neria drew courage from that small resonance and opened her mouth. To voice the long-suppressed lump in her throat. A voice of apology, of saying “I’m sorry.” “Even though I’ve only ever hated you, still…”

Still. At that word, her voice choked particularly. But the girl no longer hesitated. “……..Still, will you forgive me?” A thin line of watery light traced her cheek.

Neria hugged the small body tightly, seeking forgiveness. Warmth radiated from within her embrace, and the scent of winter lingered at her nose. The silver-haired girl couldn’t hold back her sobs.

Whoosh.

Silence descended with the tranquil wind. However, the small girl merely smiled faintly. Even though she had been crying moments before, the child had regained her smile. With tiny, fern-like hands, she hugged Neria back. Not long after.

-Yes…!

A tear-soaked voice was heard. Following that, a soft light began to slowly rise from the girl’s body. Even then, Neria did not release her arms. As if she would never let go again.

The figure, dyed in clear white, soon shattered delicately. Shatter.

-Thank you. -For telling me you’re sorry. -For forgiving me… and yourself.

The small girl crumbled away. The faintly scattered fragments soon became fine particles of light. And then, fluttering, they circled around Neria and settled down. That sparkling light permeated her tender chest. Only a childlike whisper melted into her ear. -I hope you, too, find happiness.

Afterimages scattered into fragments. Although she couldn’t confirm her face, Neria was certain the girl was smiling. Otherwise, the light permeating her heart could not possibly be this warm. Thump, thump. A strange energy breathed within her still-pounding heart. Neria leaned into that resonance, as if it were something precious.

She murmured again. “Yes… I’ll make sure of it.” This was a handshake extended to her painful past self. A small tribute to her youth, which she hated but couldn’t bring herself to sever. At the same time, it was a vow to finally find happiness, and a promise for the girl. The tears falling were unusually hot.

“I…”

Blaze!

A light that brightly illuminated the winter. A star born from the girl. What she had always hated no longer wavered. The girl silently, eternally accepted her own light. She had finally come to love her long, long darkness. Only clarity spread over her silver eyes. “Because now I’m not alone.”

Neria Lightni. Called the Allumer de Reverbere in the original work. The streetlamp, which had always hesitated to illuminate, was now lit. A starlight that burned away the deep dawn.

***

Neria opened her eyes. Beyond her clear vision, what she saw was still a city covered in pitch black. The ceiling was gloomily sunken, without even a glimmer of light. The girl’s steps remained in the middle of the night. Her quiet gaze pierced through the darkness. ……..

Suddenly, her eyes caught something. Standing nearby was a blood-red woman. Unlike her previously relaxed demeanor, her expression was filled with bewilderment. The firmly bound restraints came undone, and her original starlight flowed out. Her presence, enough to make one’s entire body tingle, caused the night to tense.

The Dawn Keeper let out a near-scream. “How could you, a mere limb!”

Muttering noise. But even that held no special meaning for Neria. She was merely immersed in the warmth of starlight. Soon, she clenched her fist, neither hurried nor leisurely. Pure white light surged in her tightly clasped hand. ‘It’s warm.’

Neria thought carelessly. The light she had always felt was only hot, was actually this cozy. The light didn’t hurt. It wasn’t bothersome, nor was it frightening. Perhaps it was thanks to embracing her own pain.

She blinked. -Still, will you forgive me? She pulled forth the star. A sensation that enveloped her entire body for the first time in nearly four years. However, the girl was neither swayed nor powerless. A radiant glow transferred to the dagger. Blaze! She drew in the waves of the star. And melted into the chorus.

The pure white light did not burn the surrounding things. It merely cut through the pitch black and incinerated the malevolence that had settled. Like a noble star risen high in the night sky.

-Child filled with all kinds of malice. -You were born with the fate of misfortune; you will surely burn everything around you to pure white. -Please, do not seek happiness from the outside world.

She no longer wanted to be swayed by that prophecy. What kind of star she would become, and what kind of light, was her own responsibility. Neria did not want to think of herself as a monster. She wanted to wish for her own happiness. So, she extended her fist.

“Ah.”

The Dawn Keeper let out a stupid exclamation. The gently swung fist drew a line like a streak of meteor. The next moment, a dazzling flash had pierced the woman’s heart. The light that then extended crossed the underground city. Brightening the sky.

“Gasp!”

It was a beautiful sight. The moment darkness turned to light, and despair transformed into hope. The star’s awakening shattered the pitch-black background into fragments. Amidst the fluttering shards, the girl was not alone. Because a near-pure white radiance was with her.

“I did it…”

Neria was illuminating the dawn.