episode_0122

Life always presented the problem of where to stay. Whether that meant a physical dwelling or a psychological nest. For people, the concept of home was perhaps second only to people themselves in importance. We bought a mansion nearby and settled in appropriately. Before, I had only snatched sleep in the bottom of a sewer, but now that there was someone I had to look after, I couldn’t continue such a life. Fortunately, thanks to various things I extracted from the monarch, there was no shortage of funds. It was the first home I had ever owned. We stayed there.

To be honest, the girl resisted, saying she wouldn’t go, but once she was in my hands, she had no choice but to be dragged along. Perhaps her fear of the outside was still severe. Even as we walked down the street, I could see her complexion had turned deathly pale. She had experienced losing control several times before, and at the end of it, someone had even died or been injured, so it wasn’t strange for a young girl to be afraid of herself. Would her existence hurt others? The fear learned from this compulsion made her reject others. I was the same.

“Neria Yang.” The girl would not open her heart at all. She didn’t answer when I called her name, and if I tried to approach, she would run into a corner. It felt like looking at a cat with its guard raised high. A deeply wounded cat.

“······.” At first, it was hard to even hear her voice. Because she didn’t open her mouth at all. It seemed she wasn’t ready to accept a new life. I gave the girl a warm bed, good food, and soft clothes, but she seemed to be uncomfortable with the unfamiliar kindness. She would even sleep on the floor every time, saying the soft bed was awkward. The sudden peace that came felt only precarious. Her physical condition was just as serious. Traces of violence remained clearly everywhere, and among them were parts that were severely festering and decaying. Moreover, perhaps due to her body containing starlight, she frequently had high fevers. Almost every night.

“Heavy breathing!” The girl was sweating cold sweat with rough breaths. On dawns when someone would painfully sob, I had to stay up all night beside the monster, whose fever was burning hot. I stayed by her side.

I knew it was difficult. The curse she had lived with since childhood, a life ruined by unwanted power, and the nightmares of suppressed abuse and brainwashing. The wounds accumulated over her past life couldn’t heal all at once. I approached slowly, with patience. For the girl who was still crying, by forgiving the wandering guilt. I simply stayed.

“I’m right here beside you.” “It hurts… Stop, please, I’m sorry, forgive me…” “No one is blaming you for anything.” “Stay back, I, everyone will die because of me… It hurts, I, I want to stop.” “No one will die now. You’re just having a nightmare. Try to take a deep breath calmly, following me.” “A choked gasp, then a sigh.” “You’re doing well.”

Taming means, It is like the process of becoming accustomed to each other. Rather than hastily closing the distance, it is to watch from a distance, bestow only enough kindness to convey good intentions, and gradually increase the frequency of being within sight. So that the other person can accept the unfamiliar stranger who has entered their world.

“Neria Yang.” “······.” “If you’re so wary, I get hurt too, you know. Anyway, you must be hungry, right? I’ve brought dinner.”

It’s a largely forgotten concept, but the value of a relationship is inherently like that. A process of increasing its density based on time. People explain that the density of time doesn’t always proportional to volume, but even such people couldn’t deny the absolute value contained within that volume. A relationship built up slowly and steadily, though slow, certainly brings two people closer. Before we knew it, a thread of fate had formed between us.

“Alright~ It’s time for your treatment again today!” I did my best. I meticulously treated her wounds, and I didn’t hesitate to use my power to fill in the flesh or remove the thick, layered scars. Thanks to that, by the time a week had passed, there were no longer any scars to be found on the girl’s body. I remember the silver hair as she examined herself with surprised eyes. I informed her that the treatment was over and smiled as if praising her. It didn’t stop there.

“Is there anything you’d like to eat? My cooking is unskillful, but I’ll try to make it.” I even prepared meals myself. She was a girl who maintained her guard constantly, but she, too, wavered before warm food. Since she emptied her plate cleanly every time, it made me enjoy cooking. Besides that, I looked after her sleeping arrangements, nursed her when she had a fever, and brought her a blanket when she was shivering in a corner. The snake and the monster built up time together in that way.

“Time really flies, doesn’t it?” Time flew by like an arrow. It had already been over a month since we had stayed together in the mansion. The past month felt like it sped by particularly quickly. As such, There was a change in their relationship. The girl still had a cold demeanor, but she no longer put up her thorns or intentionally ignored my words as before. Now, light conversation was possible. It was a triumph achieved through perseverance.

Chuckle. A morning no different from any other. As I served a meal with my still-clumsy skills, the girl sitting at the table suddenly posed a question. It was the first time the girl had asked something since the taming began. I paused for a moment, setting down the bowl.

“Why… are you doing all this for me?” Lifeless pupils. Her listless gaze blankly looked up at me. Was the girl wondering about the warm kindness that appeared before her eyes every day… those moments? The monster was asking about devotion.

“I’ve kept thinking about it, but I don’t know. After all, there’s nothing I can do for you.” “Hmm.” If you ask for a reason, Well. I don’t know either. I knew I was needlessly suffering. I also had the awareness that I was overly devoted. I simply…

-Oppa! Couldn’t pass by a child in pain. The only regret I had left from my past life kept eating away at one side of my heart. If only I had treated her better then. If only I had stayed with her a little longer. If only I had made her not lonely. Perhaps it was projecting the abstract regrets etched within me onto reality. I answered with a smile that didn’t matter.

“Because you’re precious.” A clumsy excuse I blurted out. But the girl didn’t seem to mind. She merely nodded a few times and then began to scoop up the stew placed in front of her. I slowly extended my hand and stroked her silver hair. The girl didn’t flinch for the first time. It was a morning that passed with the soft touch of her hair beneath my fingertips.

***

The girl was curious. About the warmth that had suddenly found its way into her life. ‘Strange.’

The world had always been cold. Without a shred of warmth. From birth, she carried a curse in the guise of a blessing, and because of it, she was burdened with unwanted sins and tears. For her, the world was like a ceaseless wandering without a place to stay. It was an obvious truth. For her existence only hurt others. Nevertheless, the girl wanted to live. ‘Cold.’

People feared her. They called her a monster. They threw stones, telling her to disappear. ‘It hurts.’

The old man who showed interest. The old man who called himself a monarch only intended to use the girl. He imprisoned her in a cell where violence and brainwashing were repeated, with strange devices attached to him. From that moment, the girl gave up on life. She instinctively knew that this cursed fate would never end. ‘Lonely.’

The world was winter. After winter came winter, at its end, another winter, and finally, another winter. Winter, winter, winter, and winter. The unending seasons of cold and pain swallowed her world as a cruel blizzard. And so, the girl had to slowly die for eight full years. She thought no flowers would ever bloom in her world. But.

-We finally meet. -I’ve come to take you. One day. An unknown warmth found its way to the girl’s world.

-Shall we go? Neria Yang. A name given arbitrarily. The boy who suddenly appeared took her out of the cage she had hidden in. She refused to go outside because she didn’t want to hurt others, but whether she liked it or not, his hand led her forcibly. It was the first world she had ever stepped into. The boy was warm. He miraculously healed her festering wounds, prepared meals for her himself every day, and stayed by her side when she suffered from high fevers in the early morning. As time passed, the girl’s sharp defenses gradually softened. At the same time, she began to wonder. Because it was the first act of goodwill she had ever received in her life. It was closer to curiosity about the unknown.

“Why… are you doing all this for me?” So she asked. Everyone else in the world hated her, or only intended to use or control her. She thought life was a path full of only wounds. Why, then, was he the only one offering her such warmth? The girl had to know.

“There’s nothing I can do for you.” A softly murmuring voice. The answer that returned to that. It cleanly missed all the expectations that had filled her mind. The boy answered with a warm smile.

“Because you’re precious.” Precious. It was a difficult word to understand. A question completely unresolved. But the girl no longer opened her mouth. Because if she parted her lips even a little, this dreamy moment would burst like a bubble. The monster merely picked up her spoon.

Chuckle. After that, A hand gently stroked her head. The touch of another person’s skin and body heat, felt for the first time in her life, conveyed an unfamiliar sensation. But, Yet, it was warm. She didn’t feel like pulling away from the hand resting on the top of her head. The girl quietly received the clumsy stroking. ‘······Warm.’ For a moment, It felt as if she had escaped winter.

***

But, The world where stars fell was still cold to the girl. She couldn’t even wish for a fleeting moment of happiness.

“So you were here, Neria Yang.” “You…” Against a backdrop of blood and snow swirling. The golden-haired snake and the silver-haired monster faced each other. Red tears streamed down the girl’s cheeks. Her delicate lips parted.

“I have one last request. If it’s you, I don’t think I’ll regret it.” That, too, was winter. “Kill me…” In the ensuing sorrow, The girl prayed for a wish for what would be her final season.