Daylight (2)

Gazes.

The era of mass slaughter that I unintentionally opened a year ago while engaging in conflict with the Association.

Days when I held over hundreds of hostages, and the days of battling were far more numerous than those that weren’t.

What can be said about those lifeless eyes of those who faced me, looking at me?

To me, who had thrown myself into an underground world where no one else was, and only conversed with a noisy spirit a few times a day,

Quietness and coziness were my everything, life itself.

That’s how it was until just 4 weeks ago.

Therefore, such gazes directed at me, who had my hat and collar tightly pressed down, were unbearably uncomfortable.

To the point where I wanted to kill them.

Of course, fortunately, such an incident didn’t occur.

“I also participated in the emergency treatment.”

Whether she noticed my awkwardness, or didn’t want to create chaos when the medical staff discovered my appearance,

Erica’s excuse, with a bit of lie added, succeeded in glossing over the situation.

I, well, just stayed still.

Presumably because she was a known Ranker of the Association, after a few words of explanation that weren’t really explanations, the medical staff seemed to accept it roughly.

As I was sitting in a corner chair to have some coffee while watching Erica enter the treatment stage, there was someone who kept talking to me until the end, as if there were still parts they couldn’t understand.

“Wow, you’re really amazing. Really. Even with a Ranker’s help, to mimic a direct technique of a healing mage…”

“It’s nothing.”

I said just two words without much thought.

But those pupils that grew even larger were incomprehensible even for the same human… well, I’m not the same kind of human though.

“You’re not an ordinary person, are you?! Have you been in this field for a long time…? Or are you from the frontline medical unit before the Gates…”

“…..”

If I were to have a conversation, I’d rather have it with Erica.

With the medical staff I had no interest in clinging to me, I felt the pressure weighing down on my body and pressed my hat down even deeper.

My breath is short and it’s hard to breathe. My hair seems to be in disarray too.

Come to think of it, when I was at home, there were times when I admired and groomed my hair, marveling a little at my own appearance transformed into a girl,

There were times when I admired that very image of soft skin and pale complexion, clean and pure in itself.

Being forced to hide like this now, frustration welled up along with the stuffiness.

Why am I doing this now?

The medical staff, seeing me silently drinking from a paper cup, slowly opened their mouth again, struggling to gain even a bit more information.

“Ah, or perhaps are you affiliated with a Ranker? Like saturated stats or…”

“Please be quiet.”

I swung my arm and thrust a knife into her abdomen. I felt resistance, and then choking groans were heard as the blade pushed in.

“When having a conversation, you should always be mindful of the other person’s reactions.”

Instead of just unilaterally pressing on like that.

“Do you understand?”

“Ugh, huk, urp.”

The medical staff collapsed weakly in their seat, hands clutching their abdomen. Only overheated groans and breaths were bursting out of their mouth, seeking cleanliness.

The reddened clothes and screams were a bonus.

I emptied the paper cup without moving and leaned against the back wall for a moment. Quietness had long since disappeared, rather it felt even noisier.

“I feel nauseous.”

[That’s because you stab people so recklessly!]

“Can you really call this a person?”

I kicked the medical staff lightly with my foot. A terrified expression came back.

[Ugh…..]

“See? You agree…”

[That’s not why! I’m shuddering at your recklessness!]

Such a fuss.

The air currents shook and the annoying spirit started jumping around here and there.

[Quickly call for medical staff! Aren’t they all over the place?]

“If I call them, it’ll get even noisier.”

Bloody blinked.

“And my irritation will grow even more. Irritation turns into anger, anger is directed at the people who come, and then I’ll kill even more people.”

[Gaaaah…..!]

“It can’t be helped.”

It’s a natural principle.

I hate irritation. I hate anger. I hate the attention of the medical staff sitting here. I hate the gazes of people directed at me.

I hate enthusiasm and fervor. I hate commotion and turmoil.

But I like blood. I like the emotions that make my body burn and the calmness that follows. I like knives and magic power and killing.

The static state where everything becomes quiet and nothing changes is thrilling to the point of ecstasy.

But I am not like that.

My twisted core and rotten roots shaking inside the shell of a girl.

My unstable, noisy, and chaotic inner self where boiling pride and dirty, ugly blood are pulsating.

To desire quietness.

It’s nothing more than a contradictory, fantasy-chasing something.

That’s why.

“Everyone, please calm down.”

I tried to identify that ‘something’ as self-awareness of myself.

“Please evacuate carefully.”

With swift progress, before my brows could furrow, tranquility returned once again.

“B-But Erica’s wounds are still…”

“It’s fine.”

By you.

“I have no problems.”

So I expect.

“So please go quickly.”

For you to come find me.

“Wow, it’s gotten quiet.”

“…..”

I grabbed the neck of the now almost collapsed medical staff and dragged them, slowly, and tossed them onto the wide space that was like a plaza.

“You kept talking to me so I accidentally swung my knife!”

“…Slowly back away.”

The greatsword was pointed at me.

“What’s wrong? Do I look like someone who would kill people recklessly?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“I really feel wronged. I saved your life three times, you know.”

Although I almost killed you.

“…Don’t move. Before I slice you up.”

“Alright. I’ll stay still. Following your words well is my characteristic.”

Thinking about it, I’ve never really followed words well.

As I was slowly backing away, Erica, coughing, supported the medical staff she was holding and put them on the bed, starting to check their condition.

I felt somewhat upset that she wasn’t paying any attention to me at all.

As I was quietly sitting on the side bed, glancing at Erica while drinking coffee, I saw a woman in uniform coming down the stairs right in front.

Her black bob hair fluttered and her red eyes shone.

“Wow! It’s Director! Hello.”

“…Aureli.”

I looked around the ceiling for a moment. I could see CCTVs attached to each corner.

“No matter how you look at me, I didn’t do anything. The fact that there are no people here isn’t because of me either. Erica evacuated everyone.”

The Director looked at me and then glanced at Erica who was treating behind.

“Don’t worry and do something about that medical staff. I’ll just quietly drink my coffee.”

Of course, with years of experience, even the Director had come to know quite well that I keep my word.

The Director approached the medical staff while keeping an eye on me.

“Can you manage?”

“Yes. It’s not a severe injury.”

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I took off my hat and exhaled. It’s been a while since my eye color and skin color returned to normal.

[Did you cut deeply?]

“Not really. Don’t know. They won’t die.”

Because life is precious. Mm-hmm.

I emptied the paper cup and stood up. After walking around the spacious interior, I picked up a medical chart from a long desk on one side of the wall.

I could see the room number and the name written next to it.

“Well, let me know when you’re done. I’ll be waiting in the hospital room.”

“…What hospital room are you talking about?”

“Huh?”

Tilting my head.

“Of course, I mean the room where Erica will stay!”

She’s a patient too. I need to treat her.

It would be a lie to say I don’t have dark tastes. Even though my body changed to a woman’s, the instinct to desire women remained firm.

I opened the clean door and entered the room. Various items were visible and there was a bed. And a slightly fresh scent stimulated my nose.

I took a big inhale and exhaled again.

To be precise, this is my second visit.

As I was sitting on a few portable chairs I had pulled up next to the bed, the door opened and two people entered.

I hummed a tune, rudely putting my feet up and down.

Gazes turned towards me.

“…What business do you have?”

“Hm? Why so formal all of a sudden. We still have business left. The criminal organization investigation.”

Erica closed her mouth.

“Well, that too, but I wanted to briefly explain about the amputation suturing technique.”

“Did you really do it?”

“Of course. Who else could dare perform suturing on our Association Ranker Erica?”

The Director narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Erica sat on the chair and hardened her expression.

“It was a bit of an urgent situation then, so I quickly made a technique, you know? It would be endless to explain in detail, so to put it simply, we need to go through the process of inscribing the technique a few more times.”

Erica stroked her arm. She seemed to have done it unconsciously.

“We’ve passed the initial stage, and there are about 3 inscription processes left, which should be finished in about 3 days.”

“So during that time, you’re saying you’ll continue the treatment?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

The Director was about to say something more but bit her lip.

I smiled brightly and waved my hand.

A curve filled with magic power floated in the air and seeped into the magic circle on the sutured part of Erica’s arm.

“There’s a reason for that.”

Erica flinched slightly.

“It’s a secret I can’t tell.”

Our eyes met. They were glaring eyes.

That look was cute too.

To the point where I wanted to tease her