Midterm Exams – 5

Cordelia’s eyes were different from usual. Should I say they were bewitching? Overwhelmed by her intensity, as if she was about to devour me, I took a step back.

“Tell me honestly.”

“What, what do you mean?”

She licked her lips once with her tongue. What’s going on? What’s happening here? When I didn’t answer and just stammered, Cordelia pressed me again.

“There’s only you and me here. So tell me honestly. Did you really think of me only as a friend?”

Is she crazy? What else is there besides friendship?

“Don’t you think of me as a friend, Cordelia?”

“No, that’s not it. Are you really asking because you don’t know?”

Cordelia pounded her chest in frustration. I was just as frustrated as she was. If you’re going to say something, say it clearly. You just keep demanding I be honest, but how am I supposed to know what you want?

“Cordelia, I hate to say this, but I’m quite dense, so unless you speak clearly, I won’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“Wow, really? Do I have to say it with my own mouth?”

Cordelia glared at me with a haughty look.

“Whatever it is, please just say it. I feel like my blood pressure is rising, and soon I’ll be lying in the bed next to you.”

“Ugh, are you doing this on purpose?”

She groaned at my complaint, blushing. She looked straight into my eyes. Since I had nothing to hide, I didn’t avoid her gaze at all. After a staring contest that lasted quite a while, she eventually backed down as if she had no choice.

“Fine. Open your ears and listen carefully.”

She took a deep breath. Inhale… exhale… After about six deep breaths, she nodded as if she had made up her mind. Finally, her mouth opened.

“Mikhail, I know you like me, so tell me honestly. Did you really think of me only as a friend?”

Cordelia’s face turned red, embarrassed by her own words.

Wait, what?

“What did you just say?”

“I told you to open your ears and listen carefully. Judging by your expression, you heard everything I said.”

“No, I heard what you just said clearly.”

I thought it was a joke. I swallowed the rest of my words. Cordelia’s expression was more serious than anyone in the world. Her face, as red as her hair, and her teary eyes proved that her words were no joke.

“Wait, why are you crying?!”

“Who’s crying!”

No matter how much they say victory comes to those who cry first, this isn’t even a fight, so why is she bringing out tears immediately? I decided to try to soothe her first. She’s already whimpering, and I haven’t even said anything yet.

“Come on, just stop crying first.”

I handed her a handkerchief. The previous handkerchief was still tied around Cordelia’s hand, but I had another one anyway. She blew her nose without hesitation.

“I told you I’m not crying. Sniff!”

She wasn’t at the stage of sobbing uncontrollably yet. Like when your eyes water and your nose runs after watching a sad movie? Still, she couldn’t claim she wasn’t crying. Her eyes were red.

“That nasal voice has no credibility. Give me another sniff.”

“I can handle it myself. Hiccup! I’m not a child.”

I decided to keep to myself the thought that she certainly looked like a child. After hiccuping several times, unable to breathe properly, she finally seemed to calm down and let out a long breath.

“Are you calmer now?”

“Yes. I’m calm.”

“Then can you please explain why you’re making such a, um, assertion?”

Delusion, misunderstanding, misperception—I wanted to use these words, but I changed course to the neutral term “assertion.” However, Cordelia couldn’t accept even the word “assertion,” it seemed.

“Assertion?”

“Yes. Let me tell you upfront, I don’t have any romantic feelings for you at all.”

“Come on, don’t lie.”

Cordelia tapped my forearm as if telling me not to joke around. But seeing my unchanging expression, she seemed to sense something was wrong and her face hardened.

“You don’t?”

“I’ve never lied.”

Her eyes wavered at my declaration. The tears she had tried so hard to wipe away earlier welled up in her eyes again.

“Then, then why did you help me when we first met?”

“First, Hestia asked me to help, and I also didn’t like Wilhelm.”

“Then what about becoming close later?”

“Do we need a specific reason to get along? If I had to say, it’s because you were Hestia’s friend. And I also found you quite likable.”

Cordelia’s expression crumpled at my answer, especially when I mentioned Hestia’s name. She started to crumble instantly.

“Then why did you help me make friends!”

“Cordelia.”

“Remember when you complimented me? That I’m tall, have beautiful red hair, am kind and pure, and know how to be a good friend! Were those all lies too?”

“Cordelia. I do think you’re tall and that your fiery red hair is beautiful. I thought you were kind and pure when I saw you forgive Baroness Adamas. When I heard you were struggling alone to be someone Hestia could lean on, I thought you were someone who knows how to be a friend. It was a playful conversation, but the content was sincere.”

“Then why!”

She cried out. I felt a pang of guilt.

“Cordelia, I’m sorry. I certainly see you in a positive light and feel fondness for you. But I’ve never thought of you as more than a friend.”

Cordelia finally collapsed completely. Tears began to pour from her large, kind eyes. I was about to offer some words of comfort, but thinking it might hurt her more, I just quietly stayed by her side. Until she was completely calm.

“You jerk!”

She hit my chest with her fist, tears and snot flowing. In dramas, the protagonist always takes it all. I was planning to show that much generosity and offered my chest. I did feel sorry for her, and if hitting my chest a few times would make her feel better, I was willing to take it.

“Ow, ow! Wait a minute! That hurts!”

“Deal with it! I’m hurting more!”

Embarrassingly enough, I had to cry out in pain just 10 seconds after offering my chest to her. Cordelia wasn’t lightly tapping like female leads in dramas or movies; she was really hammering away with all her might.

Her hands, conditioned by daily exercise, swordsmanship classes, and even equestrian club activities, had long surpassed the “quite strong for a woman” level. It felt like my bones were caving in. I couldn’t use mana, as that would hurt her hands instead. I had no choice but to endure her violence for quite some time, groaning.

“Are you done crying? Ugh. Why do you hit so hard?”

“Hiccup! Yes. Hiccup!”

“I never knew you were such a crybaby.”

“Shut up. Hiccup!”

After hitting me for a long time, Cordelia’s tears finally seemed to dry up, and she wiped her swollen, red eyes with the back of her hand. After gasping and choking for breath for a while, she finally exhaled. After briefly rubbing her face dry, she spoke with a hollow laugh.

“Do you know why I avoided you, Mikhail?”

“Why did you avoid me?”

“So that I wouldn’t fall for you even more. I wanted you to hate me. Heh. Stupid, right?”

She laughed like a fool. Because of that laughter, the tear stains on her cheeks stood out even more clearly.

“Yes. A bit stupid.”

“You’re really merciless.”

“If you truly liked someone, that kind of thing wouldn’t make them hate you.”

“So did you hate me?”

“How did the conversation turn that way?”

“You said if you truly liked someone, you wouldn’t hate them. So if you didn’t truly like me, does that mean you hated me?”

Is that how the conversation goes? I shook my head.

“I didn’t like you that way, but I definitely didn’t hate you either. It was obvious from the start that you weren’t avoiding me because you genuinely disliked me.”

“What? You knew everything from the beginning?”

“Cordelia’s lying skills are on par with Hestia’s.”

“That’s a lie.”

“Why would I lie about something like this?”

Cordelia didn’t respond to my words directly and just burst into laughter. It’s a relief that she seems to have recovered so quickly after crying as if the world had ended just moments ago.

“It seems the pain of rejection isn’t as great as I thought it would be.”

At my words, she asked as if she didn’t know what I was talking about. She completely changed her expression as if nothing had happened.

“Rejection? What rejection?”

“Huh? If this isn’t rejection, then…”

Before I could finish, Cordelia hastily covered my mouth.

“Listen carefully. I have never been rejected.”

She continued speaking while keeping her hand over my mouth.

“Have I ever directly said that I like you, Mikhail? No, right? Therefore, I’ve never been rejected.”

She removed her hand from my mouth after finishing her statement. As if daring me to say something.

Come to think of it, she never directly said she liked me. She just cried when she found out I didn’t like her. But isn’t this clearly sophistry? I gave her a look of disbelief, and she thrust out her chest defiantly.

“What.”

“Then why were you crying?”

“I was just embarrassed and emotional, that’s all! It wasn’t because I like you or anything!”

“Ah, yes.”

I was about to say something more but figured this must be her way of preserving her dignity, so I just closed my mouth. Still, I didn’t forget to tease her a bit. If anything, her shamelessness made even the last remnants of guilt I felt disappear.

“Cordelia, who never liked me but cried her eyes out when I said I had no feelings for her. What do you plan to do now?”

She trembled with what seemed like inner rage, but perhaps because of her earlier statements, she couldn’t refute my words.

“What do you mean, what will I do?”

“So we go back to how things were before?”

Now that I knew why she had been avoiding me, and we’d resolved our misunderstanding about each other’s feelings, was this truly the end of the incident? I felt a refreshing sense of liberation.

“Who said anything about going back?”

A moist sensation on my cheek. Cordelia’s pink lips gently pecked my cheek and darted away.

“What is this!”

“This is the first time I’ve seen Mikhail this flustered since the time you were undressed. You’re really vulnerable to attacks, aren’t you?”

“Cordelia, are you crazy?!”

Cordelia couldn’t raise her head, seemingly embarrassed by her own action.

“Cordelia, you know too. Isn’t that why you were crying just now? We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Even if it’s just playing with fire, that’s okay.”

I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Playing with fire?”

“Yes. I don’t want to interfere with your married life with Hestia. She’s a precious friend.”

“Is this what you do to precious friends?”

Cordelia pondered my words for a moment, then brought up something out of the blue.

“Let’s say Mikhail has a very important, um, let’s say a sword. If I asked to borrow that sword for a moment, wouldn’t you lend it to me? Of course, I would return it right away, and I wouldn’t demand you give it to me.”

After thinking briefly, I answered. Is there any reason not to lend it?

“I would probably lend it to you.”

“See? It’s the same thing.”

“How is that the same?!”

Cordelia spoke proudly without a hint of confusion.

“It’s the same. To you, Mikhail, I’m a precious friend. Right?”

“Yes.”

“And to Hestia, I’m a precious friend.”

“That’s also true.”

“Lending something precious to a precious friend for a moment. It’s the same, isn’t it?”

She’s completely lost her mind. Deciding I could no longer have a normal conversation with her, I decided to use my ultimate technique: knight-lighting. A naive mindset that perhaps I could persuade her by saying that knights who value honor don’t do such things.

“Cordelia. Real knights don’t behave like that. Having an inappropriate relationship with someone else’s lover is like dragging both your honor and theirs through the mud…”

“Mikhail.”

“Yes?”

“You said you read ‘Female Knight and the Wolves.’ That was a lie, wasn’t it?”

Cordelia smiled with her eyes. Why is she suddenly bringing that up? I did lie about having read it all to get her to talk last time, but in truth, I had only read the first volume and had reverently placed it on my bookshelf. I felt my body stiffen.

“You know, the male protagonist in that story.”

She licked her lips with her tongue.

“He’s a married man.”